I think all I need to say about this episode is that it put the Evil Dr. Mathra and Cask 23 -- previously hopped up on Halloween candy, mulled wine, and English Cheddar chowder -- to sleep. Unfortunately, I was wide awake. However, it soon became clear that every feeling in my body revolted against recapping this episode when I "accidentally" deleted the episode from TiVo right after watching it. Good thing it airs again on Sundays, and good thing I have friends who know things about things and who shared those things with me in the meantime. Thanks, Belchimaera, you're awesome.
Actually, that's not all I have to say. Let me tell you something -- I love what this episode could have been. I loved Spiner and his sneers and his facial ticks and his comments about the humorless crew. I love that the writers delved into one of the best TOS stories of all time and started to seek out what they could make of it. This is what I've been pleading for since the first season. I love the idea that Data's ancestor could be a morally-ambiguous psychopath. I didn't love the execution. I didn't love Quantum's continued need for brain or Bean-O. I mean, he got laid last week, should he still be glowing? I didn't love the boring, ugly, in-fighting Khannabees. I continue not to love T'Pol the CRACK WHORE and her CRACK WHORE of a costume. Especially now that she's Starfleet. My only hope is that the two episodes in this arc are the better for having dispensed with the dreary setting-up that happened in this one.
A Klingon (yay, Klingons!) ship analyzes and tractor beams in a "disabled" ship. Klingons march two extremely unattractive "humans" down the hallways. At some point, they stop walking, look at each other sideways, and proceed to beat the crap out of the Klingons. There's a scene where the uglier of the two humans -- that dude from Dune with a really bad case of hockey hair. Not that hockey hair is ever good, but this case is particularly bad, what with Newman's general and overall skanktitude -- plants a foot in a Klingon guard's chest and super-kicks him across the room. More fighting ensues and the humans win. Something within me revolts at seeing Klingons treated this way -- maybe it's because they all look like Worf to me. And no, that's not racism, that's love. But wait, I can't forget to comment on the humans' choice of couture. It's horrid. They're wearing spotty chain mail over black nylon shirts that are, as Chris Van Allsburg pointed out, "'fashionably' torn in places." It's ridiculous and would almost be something I could forgive if this were TNG, but this isn't and I don't. In fact, their claw-marked fashion sense puts me in mind of another group of super-humans. Hmm, I wonder…no, I really don't. Nothing in the way they are going about this episode is subtle, so I'll just lay it on the table and call these sartorially-challenged super-humans "Khannabees." The two Khannabees charge the Klingon bridge and kill Martok's great-great-whatever father and his second-in-command.
I'm laughing at the song's presumed superior intellect.
Starfleet HQ at night. In a cell papered with...paper, Dain'ta, a.k.a. Dr. Arik Soong, sneers and writes. He sucks on his pen for a few moments and then he writes and sneers. Dain'ta tries to work the Hannibal Lector as someone announces that he has a visitor. "I'm bu-sy," he singsongs menacingly. Gotta love a guy who thinks he can still be menacing when he's shackled in a cell. The disembodied guard voice orders Dain'ta to stand up. Dain'ta rolls his eyes, all put upon, before finally standing up. "ARMS!" the disembodied guard voice orders. Dain'ta sighs and sticks out his arms. There's a loud zzzzzing and the arm cuffs slam together. As Cask 23 pointed out, this just gives him a pretty neat weapon. They should have shackled his arms behind his back. Stupid disembodied guard voice. We get a better look at Dain'ta's cell and we can see that not only has he Jon Nashed his walls with sheets of paper, he has reams of the stuff piled up in corners. Because he's crrrazy! I should mention that the paper actually has writing on it. Because he's not that crazy. "Jonathan Archer," Dain'ta announces as Quantum steps into the doorway, "what brings you here? They naming the prison after you?" Okay, first of all, "Hee!" but secondly, how does a man in solitary get his daily news? How does he know what's happening on the outside? Quantum wants to ask him some questions, and although Dain'ta gestures to the walls that he's busy auditioning for Proof, he admits that it's not every day he gets to talk to the man who "saved the planet." His air-quotes, not mine. And I love him for it. The credits say that there's someone in this episode called "Big Show." If anyone starts talking off their clothes to bamp-chicka-chicka music, I'm sure it'll be him.
Dain'ta apologizes for the cell clutter, but he isn't allowed "traditional recording" devices. Quantum backstories that Dain'ta programmed the pad to unlock every security door in the building. I assume he means with the traditional recording device that he's not allowed to have, but the dialogue isn't very clear. Dain'ta says he's particularly proud of that feat and goes on that, in the rare occasion that he gets stuck on a problem, he finds that a vigorous escape attempt revitalizes him and helps to clear his head. As Quantum looks around, Dain'ta explains the various genetic modifications he's figuring out to cure diseases or maximize vision. Unless it's a cure for Furrowitis, Quantum ain't interested, and I'm sorry, but to me it just looks like Dain'ta's been filling out California absentee ballot forms. None of it appears handwritten, yet I don't see a computer anywhere either. Dain'ta says that none of his research will ever come to fruition because they vaporize his papers every few months. Spiner loses his upper lip to his teeth when he tries to get all mean -- I noticed it in his TNG days. Quantum wonders why he bothers. They debate genetic engineering: Dain'ta's for it, Quantum's not. However, that's not why Quantum's there. He wants to know what Dain'ta knows about the attack on the Klingon vessel. Dain'ta shrugs that he's read the reports, and snarks that Quantum may have saved Earth for nothing. Quantum says that they found DNA on the Klingon crew that was jettisoned into space. "Let me guess: human?" Dain'ta sneers. "Not quite," Quantum responds. Dain'ta looks warily satisfied. Quantum reveals that the DNA was from "Augments" and matched embryos stolen from a medical facility twenty years ago. "Stolen by you," Quantum finishes. Dain'ta looks pleased.
Giant Hairclip in the Sky. Quantum tells his civvied senior crew that Dain'ta used to work in some top-secret place where infectious diseases and genetically engineered embryos left over from the Eugenics Wars are stockpiled. For obvious reasons, it's all been a big secret. Dain'ta admits that he stole the embryos and raised them on a planet for ten years before he was arrested. Now, the Khannabees are twenty years old and probably running around the universe. "Not a pretty thought," May-Lore says. Now, if we hadn't already seen two of the Khannabees, I'd probably argue with May-B4 that these genetically perfected humans are supposed to be all beautiful and stuff, but as it is, May-Moussaka is exactly right. Nobody knows what the Khannabees want with the Klingon ship, but Dain'ta thinks he can reason with his children and get them to surrender. As Reed realizes that Quantum is bringing Dain'ta along, Quantum explains that Dain'ta has also spent a lot of time in "The Borderland," a volatile region of space between the Klingon Empire and the Orion Syndicate. Not to be confused with "The Expanse," a volatile region of space between Season Three and Keckler's sanity. T'Pol explains that The Borderland is like Mos Eisely in that it attracts the most dangerous elements from both cultures. Since the Klingons intend to attack the human race with everything they've got, Quantum and Qrew are once again enlisted to save Earth.
Ship o' Khannabees. A Khannabee chick with perma-flared nostrils and a forehead that rivals the Famous Fivehead of yore talks to Mullet about how smart they are in mastering the ship's controls. More Khannabees enter, and Dawsonella reluctantly breaks away from staring soulfully at Mullet. Mullet's got quite the brow on him as well -- it makes me shudder to think what their children would look like. Or how tough that labor would be. These Khannabee scenes are so freakin' dull with all the butt-sniffing and corner-peeing that goes on that I'm going to have to sum up: the Head Khannabee ("Head" being the operative word, because here is yet another example of Cro-Magnamania) arrives to smack Mullet around to establish who's the boss. And also which one of the Big Giant Heads is schtupping Dawsonella.
Dain'ta comes aboard and sweet-talks T'Pol about how much he admires the Vulcans. He says they both agree that the human race could use some improvement. T'Pol snits that she believes that of most races. Quantum presents Reed as his tactical officer. "I've heard of you, but I don't recognize the face -- you're not getting your fair share of publicity," Dain'ta comments. Oh, man, if only he could have said that to May-XXX, it could have been the biggest shout-out. As it is, it's just a wee one. Reed mutters that he's had enough, thank you very much. As Quantum leads Dain'ta to his very secure quarters, Dain'ta asks to examine the recovered DNA in order to determine the state of the Khannabees. When Quantum says he'll send the stuff to his very secure quarters, Dain'ta pleads to be able to meet with Dr. Phlox, who he puts on a level almost equal to himself. Quantum will consider it.
Bridge. T'Pol joins Trip at kneeling to Quantum's chair. Trip wants to know how her honeymoon went. "Honeymoon?" T'Pol repeats questioningly. Trip explains that she didn't return from Vulcan for two weeks after the wedding, so he thought...what he thought is interrupted by Quantum's entrance. The captain examines his upgraded chair, which is looking more and more like Kirk's with the controls on the armrests. Quantum sits and says he likes it. Trip says, "I don't have time to go over all the details -- just be sure not to hit that button." Okay, why even put a button like that on a chair if he's NOT SUPPOSED TO HIT IT? Ooh, maybe it's an "eject" button. I'd like that. Quantum stands up and announces, "Here we are again." Oookay. His crew all looks at him and wonders if he's finally lost it. "Wouldn't have it any other way," Quantum says, and sits back down again. They leave the Big Giant Hairclip in a montage of recycled -- but still good -- footage.
Quantum's Ready Room. T'Pol enters, and Quantum gives her some intelligence about the mission. T'Pol says that the Vulcans are trying to work out a diplomatic solution and there might be a chance it will succeed. "Small chance," Quantum says, picks up a small wooden box from his desk, and presents it to her. "It's your first official day of duty, Commander T'Pol." I hope there's a non-velour Starfleet uniform in there, because there are no excuses for the Vulcan's pettable catsuits anymore. "It's from the early twentieth century," Quantum explains as T'Pol pulls out the same brass compass my mom gave to my dad to put on the Ondine. "Should keep you pointed in the right direction." Which means T'Pol should calibrate it away from you, yes? Wait a freakin' minute -- where EXACTLY on a FREAKIN' SPACESHIP will a FREAKIN' COMPASS POINT?! Toward the warp core? Which is toward...Trip? Is this Quantum's subtle way of giving his approval of their relationship? Would this show EVER be THAT deep? Quantum says he's glad she's with them, and T'Pol CRACK WHORES with her extreme disappointment before she thanks him for the completely useless present.
Quantum logs that they're in The Borderland with absolutely no sign of Klingons, Khannabees, or an interesting plot.
Sickbay. Dain'ta waxes nostalgic over his progeny. Apparently, as he examines their DNA with Phlox, Dain'ta is able to identify his genetic experiments by name. Now that's a father who loves his children to an extremely creepy degree. Phlox comments that the genetic engineering is pretty sophisticated stuff for the twentieth century. Dain'ta preens that he made some modifications of his own, but he won't tell Phlox what those modifications are. Phlox is clearly disgusted with Dain'ta's work, which surprises Dain'ta. He didn't think the Denobulan doc would share the human race's knee-jerk animosity toward genetic engineering. "On the contrary," Phlox says, "we've used genetic engineering on Denobula for over two centuries to generally positive effect." Phlox says that he doesn't appreciate Dain'ta's attempt to redesign his own species, since the first attempt of that kind resulted in thirty million deaths. Dain'ta argues that science shouldn't be held back by past mistakes, but Phlox counters that scientists have a responsibility to learn from past mistakes. "Oh, what makes you think I haven't?" Dain'ta snaps. "I can read," Phlox says calmly, and walks away. Phlox is just awesome.
Enterprise gets attacked by "Orion Interceptors," who don't respond to their hails. There are weird coils of smoke on the bridge, and before I can figure out if T'Pol is smoking a CRACK PIPE under her desk, she and two guys from Engineering disappear from the ship. The Orion Interceptors jump to warp.
Quantum orders Dain'ta to tell him how he can get all nine of his recently absconded crewmembers back. They set a course for a slave processing center, and Dain'ta admits that he knows how to get into these processing centers as a legitimate trader. He has a relationship with the Orions, and tells Quantum he can get him inside but he can't get his people out.
More icka-bicka-backer-soda-cracker internal politics between the fugly Khannabees that don't amount to much and are completely boring to boot. The creepiest thing about the Khannabees is that they refer to Dain'ta as their father, which sort of presumes that they would regard each other as siblings, yet they are all sleeping together. I guess they reason that no one else would want to bed down with people whose foreheads look like they get a daily wax and buff. Dawsonella seems to be bed-hopping back and forth from Mullet to Head Khannabee, who, according to Demian, is played by an ex-Calvin Klein model. Like, yuck -- the dude has actual dents in the sides of his forehead and a brow that threatens to usurp Quantum's in order to ascend the throne of Furrowdom. And I'm not even getting into the butt-chin and surgically abbreviated nose.
Slave Processing Center. A big, giant, green man who could not look more like Shrek if he was drawn on a piece of paper and voiced by Mike Meyers slaps a diode on T'Pol's neck. She screams in pain. Shrek picks the near-fainting Vulcan up by her forearms, shakes her, makes with the threats, and tells her that she's now the property of the Orion Syndicate. And that she should eat all her frozen green beans and carrot nuggets. T'Pol is dragged through corridors of cages before she's finally thrown into one and locked in. T'Pol notes a sweating Red Stripe cowering in the corner and -- my word, what is up with the fugtastic casting tonight? This guy looks like his parentage might carry porcine possibilities -- tries to comfort him. I don't know what they're so worried about; at T'Pol's current size, she could just walk right through those bars without even taking the trouble to turn sideways.
Using Dain'ta's old clearance code, Enterprise is cleared to enter the Slave Processing Center.
Phlox injects Dain'ta with a microchip transponder that will only allow a range of ten kilometers. "You wander off more'n that and we brang you ri'back here," Trip threatens as Dain'ta steps onto the transporter pad. Have they upgraded the transporter pad? There's a new psychedelic orange and purple pattern on the walls. Dain'ta realizes Trip doesn't like him and says, "You probably blame me for what happened to your Vulcan 'friend.'" Trip glares, and Quantum tells Dain'ta to stow it. "Your crew could use a sense of humor, Captain," Dain'ta comments. Amen, brother. Quantum orders Trip to work on the engines, which I guess are down, but I wasn't really paying attention.
SPC. Pig whines, and T'Pol offers to teach him Vulcan Mind Tricks to minimize his stress. Shrek comes to get T'Pol for the auction block. Pig tries to protest, but gets zapped for bothering. On the auction block, Shrek easily lifts T'Pol up by grabbing her by her nonexistent waist. He then shows her to the bidders and shakes her like a CRACKedy Ann doll. T'Pol makes me snort by looking bored and annoyed. I'm right with you, honey. The bidding -- in alienese, of course -- is calculated on a big long electronic display behind them. Aliens tap on Blackberries and Shrek notes to T'Pol that she's doing well. Finally, it looks as though a Tellarite wins the veloured Vulcan. Shrek is ecstatic as he hoists T'Pol up -- this time managing to place his enormous thumbs on her dinners -- and chortles that not even his last wife sold for that much. T'Pol looks bored as her big head flops around on her toothpick of a neck. Easy, Lenny.
Dain'ta and Quantum skulk around the cages and see a female Red Stripe, who sees them right back. Quantum sticks out a hand, silently telling her not to acknowledge them. Dain'ta notes that at least four of the nine missing crewmen are still around, and explains that the thing on their necks induces seizures in the slaves. It also keeps them from wandering too far afield, so beaming the Enterprise crew out isn't an option. An Orion slave girl, dressed in about two inches of fabric, saunters out of her cell and plays up to her flesh-trading audience. As Quantum notes that the Orions sell their own people, Dain'ta explains only the females are considered commodities because of their extensive "appetites" and "innate skills." So, they're good in the kitchen? Quantum finishes scanning and nods for Dain'ta to follow him. They find T'Pol and start to update her on their situation when Shrek 2 bitches at them for talking to a sold slave. "The buyers are over there," he gestures. Dain'ta is all obsequiousness and apologies as he tells Shrek 2 that they took a wrong turn. Quantum and Dain'ta move along.
Ship of the Khannabees. They try to make me care about this plotline by showing Dawsonella bouncing back to the Head Khannabee and planting space seeds of distrust and discontent in his repugnant, forceps-dented head about Mullet. But guess what? I DON'T CARE ABOUT THESE REPULSIVE PEOPLE!
SPC. Pig is put up for sale and Quantum buys him. Does this mean he's going to name him Toby? I think there's some nonsense where Shrek threatens to sell Pig as food, but I wasn't really listening. Shrek's not thrilled with the price Pig fetched, and Trip's not thrilled with having to fork nine kilos of tritanium cobalt payment over. I'm not thrilled with this whole damn episode.
Sickbay. Phlox attempts to remove the neck thingy from Pig. Quantum explains that normally the neck thingy is removed when the slaves are sold, but they bribed a guard to deactivate it but leave it on. Trip's confused as to why they don't just buy back all their people, and Quantum tells him T'Pol's already been sold down the river. Trip is disgusted by the Orions, and Dain'ta saves me the trouble of telling him that the Orions are not unlike his own slave-trading ancestors, "judging by your accent." BWAH! Trip counters that the Khannabees had plenty of slaves. "They were more like subjects," Dain'ta laughs gently. "They were jest treated like slaves," Trip says. Dain'ta ignores him as Phlox gets the neck thingy off. Quantum hands the neck thingy over to Trip and tells him to work fast.
Ship of Khannabees. Mullet and Head Khannabee face off; Mullet wins. After checking her lipstick in his forehead, Dawsonella apologizes to Head Khannabee. Head Khannabee grunts and makes a move but all the other Khannabees pull guns on him. Now that he's clearly no longer the Head Khannabee, I should come up with another nickname for him, but I'm just far too bored. Mullet makes a bit with the incestuous homoeroticism as he rubs Head Khannabee's shoulders before stabbing him in the gut. Man, and I thought head Khannabee was ugly enough without the constipated death-throes face he's now pushing out. Dawsonella tries to force a few ugly tears out of her ugly eyes.
SPC. Trip comms Quantum and Dain'ta that he's sending the crucial code now. Quantum jumps in front of Shrek 2. Shrek 2 moves forward to clobber him, but Dain'ta stabs him from behind with a hypo of something. Shrek 2 stands there for a few seconds and then begins to sway back and forth for awhile. Spiner gets this utterly hysterical look on his face like he's really confused about why Shrek 2 hasn't fallen down yet. It actually progresses over each sway and just builds on itself. Quantum? Just standing in the background with one blank and furrowing look on his face. God. He SUCKS! When Shrek 2 finally falls, Dain'ta shakes his head and darts off. Quantum notices that they have a witness and furrows hard. Shrek gathers T'Pol from her cell and shoves her into the waiting arms of her new owner. The witness tattles on Quantum and Dain'ta to another guard as those two do stuff at a central computer. T'Pol socks her owner one and Shrek tries punish her with his remote control. All we hear is fuzzed-out buzzing. "The restraints are off!" some helpful slave announces as all hell breaks loose. Shrek bellows something completely unintelligible, and Quantum comms the ship to start beaming people up five at a time. Dain'ta cattle-prods Quantum from behind. "Sorry, Captain -- hope you find your people. Thanks for the ride," Dain'ta says, and scuttles off. But what about the microchip in his neck that Trip got all threatening over? I thought if he went too far he got automatically beamed up to the ship. You know what, don't bother, I'll get up and not give a flying fuck myself. Shrek grabs T'Pol by the neck and says, "You know, you've got spirit -- I might just keep you for myself." With one swift kick, T'Pol turns Big Show into Little Show and informs him that she's not for sale. Well, of course you aren't, silly; you were already sold. T'Pol gets beamed up.
As Quantum recovers from the shocking treatment he received at the hands of Dain'ta, he confirms that Trip beamed everyone up and tells him that Dain'ta got away. "Locate him and beam him up," he orders. Meanwhile, Dain'ta applies the cattle prod to his neck and zaps himself. This has the effect of negating his transponder signal, and Trip can't isolate his bio-sign. Quantum stumbles through the slave melee to stand up on the auction block. He catches sight of Dain'ta and runs after him. Punching a few keys on his pad, Quantum activates Dain'ta's cuffs, which smack together. Dain'ta keeps running until he finds some random monkey bars to play on. Quantum catches up with him and deactivates the cuffs, making Dain'ta fall from the monkey bars. Yeah, okay, that was a nice move. "Trip, two to beam up," Quantum says.
And where are we now? The Brig of Boredom, of course. What did I say about this place just two weeks ago? Ugh. Quantum paces outside and accuses Dain'ta of specifically leading them to the Orions and putting his people in certain danger just so he could escape. Teaches you never to trust a convict, doesn't it, Quantum? Dain'ta sighs that no one got hurt. "Nine of my crew were nearly sold into slavery and two of them might have permanent damage!" Quantum bellows. Which two would those be? The ones with the sensitive skin? Dain'ta duhs this, but admits that it wasn't an easy thing for him to do, since he respects Quantum. "Then tell me how to find the Khannabees," Quantum orders. Dain'ta closes his mouth tight. Quantum announces, "You know where they're going." "They didn't steal a Klingon ship to go sight-seeing," Dain'ta snarks. Well, that shoots my theory to hell. Quantum says the Khannabees are dangerous. "They're the future," Dain'ta corrects him. "They're stronger, smarter, free from sickness with life-spans twice as long as our own." Note that he doesn't say anything about how they look? I think that's very telling. Dain'ta thought that Quantum of all people would be behind these types of genetic mutants. Quantum's confused. "Your father? Suffered from Clark's Disease. His final years were marked with extreme pain," Dain'ta expositions. Great. More father issues on Star Trek. Quantum blusters that his father has nothing to do with this. Dain'ta delivers a little PSA for stem cell research as he says that people who oppose his research condemned Quantum's father to death. Quantum ignores Dain'ta's pleas to turn the ship around and leave the Khannabees alone, and says he's going to find them whether Dain'ta helps or not.
Trip visits Sickbay where all the Orioned Red-Stripes are sprawled out on various beds. T'Pol is sitting up and doing some work. Man, girlfriend is gaunt, wrinkled, and looking rough. A-ha! I've finally figured out why she's being kept in a non-standard issue uniform: Ber-man-ga (yes, as the man is supposedly man now in charge, I am going to hold Coto responsible for this, and he will not gain my respect until he actually does something about it) are so terrified that when ANTM airs its promos during this show, Jolene might look fat by comparison. It's a good plan, really, because looking haggard, bony, and dried out is so much better than looking healthy, normal, and glowing. Trip checks to make sure she's okay and is about to walk away when T'Pol says, "Vulcans don't have honeymoons. After the ceremony I went to Mt. Selaya to meditate -- [she clears her throat] -- alone." Trip leans in and whispers regretfully, "It's none of my business anyway." I can't help it, that's an "aw." I really like how Trip's matured since his P'Jem smashing days. He's the only character to show real growth, and no, I don't consider being a CRACK WHORE growth. T'Pol bugs her eyes at him right before the console behind them explodes. The ship is under attack. Again. It's the Orions, and they want their slaves back. On the Bridge, Quantum tells them how much that isn't going to happen. There's more firing, and in an unintentionally (I assume) hysterical (to me) moment, Quantum face-plants on the Bridge as Reed announces the approach of another ship. It's a Klingon Bird of Prey. Quantum pulls out the Furrow of Ah I Know What This is All About as Hoshi says the Klingons are requesting permission to dock.
In Quantum's Ready Room, Mullet babbles that he knows Dain'ta is on the ship because they received his signal. Quantum explains to Reed that's what Dain'ta was doing after he cow-prodded Quantum at the SPC. Reminding Quantum about the ass-saving they just did for them, Mullet demands to speak with his father. Quantum points out their asses wouldn't need saving if they hadn't come out looking for the Khannabees. Quantum and Mullet have a good vs. evil genetics argument, which the FDA just approved as a cure for insomnia. Mullet doesn't give two shits about the fact that the Klingons are going to declare war on the humans. "We don't care about you," Mullet says, and then, to prove he's got the superior intellect, he quotes Nietzsche. Reed sneers, because he's also got the pocket edition of 101 Famous Quotes to Stun, Slay, and Sicken Your Enemies. Quantum snorts, and Mullet whispers, "I'm...about...to...attack...you." The Uh-Ohs and Reed go for their guns as Mullet grabs Quantum around the neck. "See? Even with warning you're not fast enough," Mullet laughs. God, he's lizard-like with the spaced-apart eyes and the flat nose and the wide mouth and nonexistent lips! Mullet wraps another hand around Quantum's neck like he's prepping for a Buffy-esque twist-snap. "Let him go!" Reed orders. "We have five times your strength, double your intelligence!" Mullet blathers. He sort of looks like the demonic Meatloaf in that video "I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)." "LET him GO!" Reed shouts. Why doesn't he just shoot Mullet in the face? I mean, I know Reed's not the best shot but I'd think he could manage at this range. Mullet screams back, "I'LL TEAR OUT HIS THROAT!" Okay, so, what's faster here? Mullet's ability to rip out Quantum's neck or, I don't know, THE SPEED OF LIGHT?! I mean, is Mullet trying to say that his hands rip at warp speed? Because I don't think all the genetic engineering in the world could achieve that. Reed doesn't move. Mullet bares his ugly teeth and readjusts his grip on Quantum's neck: "Now." Reed signals, and the Uh-Ohs lower their weapons. Wimps. Without letting go of Quantum's neck, Mullet comms Dawsonella. He calls her "Persis," and I guess that's a shout-out to TMP, but I find it a bit bizarre and incongruous. Anyway, Dawsonella confirms she's broken the security codes. We see her open the airlock. The stationed Uh-Ohs fire, but the pack of ugly Khannabees storm right through, letting the phaser fire slide off of their ugly genetically engineered skin. The Khannabees fire back and dispatch the Uh-Ohs rather quickly.
Mullet drags Quantum by the neck through the Bridge and into the turbolift screaming, rather needlessly in my opinion, "I'll kill him!"
The Khannabees get rid of the Uh-Ohs guarding Dain'ta's cell, and Dawsonella slides the brig door open with the Xena force of her arms. "Persis," Dawsonella tells Dain'ta. "Persis?" Dain'ta marvels. They hug tearfully. Now tell him how you slept with and helped murder your brother. Mullet marches Quantum through the corridors until they reach Dain'ta and the other Khannabees. "Mullet!" Dain'ta breathes. Without another thought, Mullet throws Quantum into a bulkhead. Hee! Mullet and Dain'ta hug while Dawsonella gets moist in the background. Dain'ta tells all his Khannabees how proud he is of them. Quantum jumps up and tries to do something. Dain'ta tells him to save his breath, and instructs Mullet to just leave Quantum and his qrew alone. Mullet protests, but Dain'ta explains that Enterprise is damaged, and by the time Quantum gets it fixed, they'll be long gone. "It's been a pleasure, Captain," Dain'ta smirks, and turns away. He has a thought and turns back again: "Take my advice: go home and start learning Klingon." Mullet glares at Quantum and leaves.
The Klingon ship undocks, and Dain'ta gains the Bridge, where he makes a speech about how all his doubts in himself and his work are gone now that he sees them. "We're going to build a new world but we can't begin that task just yet -- thousands of your brothers and sisters are waiting to be born. Let's go get them."
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN'T!
week: Dain'ta reveals his parentage.