Episode Report Card Keckler: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Imzadi Prime
By Keckler | Season 3 | Episode 18 | Aired on 03.02.2004
Bug House sh'pod. Quantum steps in to order Trip, "Just get in there, find this thing, scan it, and get out." Strangely enough, that's exactly what he tells himself before every date. He reminds them that whatever info they glean from Mega Maid won't be of any use if they don't get it back to the ship. I guess he's telling them to be careful and don't stop for ice cream along the way. May-brie nods vehemently in the background as Trip says they'll keep that in mind. Quantum wishes them luck and leaves. To brood. The Bug House sh'pod takes off in a meandering way. Inside, the sh'pod vibrates a bit, and May-brie pulls at levers. "Trouble?" Trip asks as he hangs onto a ceiling handhold. May-brie tells him it's not quite like shooting wamp rats back home, but he'll figure it out. On the Bridge, T'Pol notes that their flight path is "somewhat erratic." Quantum tips his head to one side as he follows their erraticism on the viewscreen. The Bug House sh'pod careens around and points back at Enterprise. Quantum opens a channel and says, "Tri-ip?" The Bug House sh'pod heads straight for the ship and grazes it. Enterprise shudders a bit. So does everyone on the Bridge. "Sorry!" Trip gasps. "No problem," Quantum says evenly, "I'll...sendyouthebill." Now, would that be Bill Shatner? Because if not, stop talking like him -- this isn't a fucking Priceline commercial.
The Bug House pod evens out and, mouth open with concentration, May-brie smiles and says he's getting a feel for the ship. Trip confirms that the sensors are all good and suggests they get going.
Bridge. Quantum wants T'Pol to keep a sensor lock on them as long as possible.
Bug House pod. Trip counts down as they reach the detection grid.
Bridge. T'Pol confirms that they got through.
Bug House pod. Trip detects a Xindi patrol ship approaching and IMs furiously. "They're hailing us!" he grimaces as Click and Clack come back on the radio. They wait a bit before a robotic voice translates, "Your. Presence. In. Side. The. Detection. Grid. Is. Unauthorized. Explain." Trip fibs that they had a malfunction that threw them off-course, but it's been corrected. He waits a bit as the computer beeps. More Click and Clack. Pause. Robot English: "Rendezvous with your carrier ship immediately." "Understood," Trip says, relieved. What, no random and completely weird joke to which they'd have to force out a "Ha! Ha! Ha!"?
Bridge. T'Pol reports that she's lost contact with the Bug House pod. Reed announces that they're being scanned. T'Pol determines the scan is coming from the moon's surface: "A small monitoring station. The moon's rotation brought it into range." I guess that wasn't such a good hiding place after all. Who's up for Red Rover, Red Rover? Quantum wants to see the station onscreen. The viewscreen reveals not much, but when Quantum asks, "Malcolm?" all becomes infra-red clear. T'Pol reads three Xindi bio-signs, but they haven't sent out a transmission yet. After Reed wonders, T'Pol says that they have to wait another four hours for the moon to bring them back into comm range. Security-wise, that sounds like an extremely ineffective way to do things. Quantum clenches, furrows, broods, and paces. He's going to be plum tuckered out at this rate. Bakula presents a tense back to the camera before he whips around, eyes on the floor, and orders, "Target the facility." Reaction shot from Hoshi, which isn't much of one. Reed gets a lock. "Sir," T'Pol starts, but Quantum interrupts that they can't risk it. T'Pol frowns slightly, but falls silent. She knows he's right. Quantum looks straight ahead and orders, "Fire." Reed pushes a button. On the viewscreen, we see an asterisk of light streak toward the outpost. We know it hits when the viewscreen goes white with a radiation of nuclearesque light. The viewscreen imitates the scene in Rear Window when Jimmy Stewart is trying to buy time by blinding Raymond Burr with popping flashbulbs. The viewscreen dissipates the white photonic light, and we can see the light centralizing on the outpost. Reed closes his eyes briefly and twitches his mouth as he silently acknowledges the direct hit. Nice subtlety there. The dramatic orchestra pulls at the heart-strings as it solemnizes a minor chord. T'Pol looks down, and Quantum sits heavily in his chair. That was a good scene. A bit overwrought, but the actors were quietly impressive. The Bug House pod chitters toward an expanse of blue. Trip reports to May-brie that he's still getting kemosabe readings, but not enough to equal a large-scale Mega Maid, and May-brie notes that there's not a whole lotta land down there. "And what land there is? Dunna have any life on it," Trip adds. They go down for a closer look. Trip thinks he sees something. The sh'pod cruises just above the water, and we can see a dark round shadow in the water. I could make a Titanic joke here, but DiCaprio makes me retch black bile. "You did say that most of this thing's power was routed to structural integrity," May-brie says. "And you said we could probably fly it in a Gas Giant," Trip says. And then Keckler said, "Hee -- Captain Kirk reference." And then Mathra said, "Just because it's full of smells and hot air doesn't make it a Kirk reference!" Trip and May-brie look at each other. "Hell, it's only water!" Trip says, and they go for it. The sh'pod hits the water and glides smoothly in, just as if it's not exactly like hitting a cement wall. And even if they aren't completely shredded like a carrot in a Cuisinart, they should at least buffet slightly. I just have to say right here and now that I have been asking for Star Trek to visit an underwater planet (complete with underwater aliens) for the LONGEST time. After over one hundred recaps (that's total, not just Enterprise, for those of you who think I just came on board with this show), I really don't remember if I mentioned in recaps or only on the boards, but I know I've mentioned it. Repeatedly. Therefore, I am going to take this idea as a shout-out. Even if it's only in my dreams in that Debbie Gibson sort of way. They dive into the water, say hi to Nemo, and swim past coral reefs and other ships that look like manta rays. This is just awesome. I love underwater stuff! The reefs open up, and they can see the Mega Maid. "You getting those scans, sir?" May-brie asks grimly. Trip closes his dropped jaw and gets to work. He notes activity in the lower-right hemisphere. They fly? swim? around the Mega Maid. Other small ships and possible Aquamen manatees or lobsters cruise by. Trip says he wants to get a look inside. May-brie plots a course but reminds him that Quantum said to get in, get out, and get it over with. Which is what T'Pol said That Night as well. "That's e-zackly what we're gonna dew," Trip responds. "Aye, aye," May-brie assents and goes for it. They follow other ships into the Mega Maid.