Episode Report Card Keckler: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Imzadi Prime
By Keckler | Season 3 | Episode 18 | Aired on 03.02.2004
Bridge. T'Pol paces and looks at Reed. He pushes a few buttons and nods. Under the ship, the Bug House sh'pod launches. "Archer to Enterprise, I'm heading in," Quantum says.
After the commercial, we're still on the Bridge. Reed monitors Quantum's progress. Once he passes the grid, Trip says, "Give 'em hell, Cap'n." T'Pol's face falters, and she says she'll be in the Ready Room. Trip looks bugged by her exit.
Ready Room. T'Pol leases the WOTWW, falling against it weakly. She breathes hard, and when she throws her back against the wall, she has a few tears running down her face. She gasps and sighs.
Fly, Quantum, fly. He dives into the water with awesome effects and swims to the Mega Maid. But the holder is empty; the Mega Maid is gone. Meanwhile, Xindi harbor patrol asks to see his license. Leap, Sam, leap! Ready Room. T'Pol wrings her hands. Literally. I can't believe there's a VULCAN WRINGING HER HANDS ON A STAR TREK SHOW! Her door beeps, and she grabs an e-pad to pretend she's working. Trip comes in to say that there's still no sign the captain completed his task. It's been two hours, and Quantum's way overdue to make with the large boom-boom. T'Pol affects nonchalance and pretends she hasn't been hitting "refresh" over and over on her computer. She actually would have carried it off had it not been for that piece of e-pad with "T'Pol and Quantum IV Eternity Unless There's Temporal Mischance!"doodled on it. Trip really thinks that the crew needs to see the Acting Captain on the Bridge to know that everything's under control. Well, Quantum just went to his death, and there's five (with a possibility of six) different species of a race after their human blood, soooo, I don't really think having T'Pol on the Bridge is going make them believe everything's okay. Unless they're simple-minded. T'Pol doesn't need any advice from him. Trip wrinkles (not quite a furrow yet) his brow sadly and tells her he's just trying to help, and it's not easy on any of them. Maybe some Neural Node Nudging would do the trick? Wholly inappropriate? Okay, then. "Dismissed," T'Pol sighs. "Dismissed?" Trip asks. T'Pol swings her lips around and clarifies, "Get out." He does.
Xindi places of darkness. As he hangs by two wrists in chains, Quantum is beat up by a Snake Eyes while another demands to know how many human vessels are meandering around their neighborhood. In their neighborhood, in their neighborhood, oh who are the Xindi in your neighborhood? They're the Xindi that you meet when you're walking down the street, they're the Xin-di that you meeeet eeeeach daaaaay! I suddenly have a hankering for bologna sandwiches. You know something funny? Bologna scares the Evil Dr. Mathra. I'm serious -- it's like his Kryptonite, and Oscar Meyer is his Lex Luthor. He goes pale whenever I mention the stuff, and refuses to be in the same room when I'm eating it. Quantum spits blood and says he can't enlighten them on that particular piece of intelligence. Punch. Spit. Snake Eyes demands to know if they're making a pre-emptive strike. Spit. "I thought that was your specialty," Quantum says. "You don't want to know my specialty," Snake Eyes tells him "ominously." But that crocheted cap of yours totally gives it away, buddy; nice job. I love the color. Quantum decides to get tough and wheels around to look him dead in the snake eyes: "Lemme guess: stinkin' up the room." You the man, Quantum. Punch. This is what my father-in-law refers to as "fisticuffs." He thinks they're completely unnecessary on this show. The camera spins around as Snake Eyes marvels at Quantum's resiliency. He decides to get chummy and tells Quantum that Mr. Men Xindi are weaklings, which is why Snake Eyes are called up when force is needed. Exposition about the Snake Eyes pilot of the Psycho Bocce Ball. He was from this Snake Eyes's regiment, and he happens to be very proud of his hand-picked suicide bomber. "His name will go down in history. It will be spoken of with reverence, a testament to the superiority of the cold-blooded," Snake Eyes blathers. Quantum gives him a lesson in Earth history by telling him that Earth used to be ruled by reptiles. "I wasn't aware of that," Snake Eyes says. His delivery made me giggle. It's like he gruffly appreciated Quantum enlightening him. Quantum explains how the reptiles got toasted by a comet and mammals then became the dominant species. "How unfortunate," Snake Eyes says, not liking the turn this conversation is taking. "Still, the reptiles might have come out on top if it hadn't been for a slight disadvantage," Quantum goes on. Snake Eyes is intrigued. "They had brains the size of a walnut," Quantum bleeds. "Like this guy's gonna know what the hell that is," the Evil Dr. Mathra crows. "That's very small," Quantum explains. "Oh," the Cowed Dr. Mathra mutters.
"Apparently, it's a constant in the universe," Quantum taunts. Snake Eyes's hand quivers as he itches to strangle Quantum. Instead he points one green fingernail (shiny with a protective topcoat, by the way) and asks again about any other Earth vessels. "The reptiles didn't all die out, some evolved into snakes. Alligators. Turtles," Quantum continues. I remember this exact same sort of talk from Quantum in another episode. It didn't impress me then either. "As a matter of fact, my favorite restaurant in San Francisco makes the most wonderful turtle soup. You should try it sometime, if you're ever in the area," Quantum taunts. Oh, and if you are, call me, Snake Eyes, and we'll take the cable cars to The Mark for sunset drinks. Realizing that he's not getting anywhere with punches or strangles, Snake Eyes tells Quantum that he knows where his ship is, and unless Quantum tells him what he wants to know, he's sending a convoy to destroy it. Quantum says he'll only confess his sins to Degra. Alone. Snake Eyes pretends not to know who he's talking about until Quantum refers to him as the dude building their weapon. Snake Eyes wonders what makes Quantum think Degra will want to talk to him. "Just tell him the name of his third child, Trenia," Quantum says. Snake Eyes knows that Degra has only two children. Quantum dares Snake Eyes to prove him wrong.