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Because of some dangerous pink anomaly, pink nebula, or pink slippery-when-wet area of space, Phlox has to put the crew in comas and run the ship all by himself for four days. Phlox plays quietly by himself for a few hours. He watches my favorite Danny Kaye movie, takes care of Porthos, routinely checks on the crew, and feeds his pets in the buff. Eventually, though, he starts to get spooked. He sees things, hears things, and probably imagines much more. He confides in T'Pol -- who, for some reason wasn't put asleep, although she really was, and that's The Big Twist at the end -- and she tells him it's all in his head. When Phlox sees a Bug House and then nearly shoots Porthos, T'Pol advises him to check his brain out. Turns out, he's not all there, but it's not a lasting condition as long as they get out of the pink stuff rather soonish. Just when Phlox and his imaginary Vulcan think they're supposed to be out of the pink thing, it turns out that the pink thing expanded so much that to get out at impulse would take another ten weeks. So, even though Trip warned him against it, Phlox fires up the warp engine and gets them out of the puddle of My Little Pony vomit. With the crew woken up and back to work, Phlox orders his Imaginary Vulcan to bed only to find that she's already there -- tucked into her warm little coma. Oh, that was The Big Twist. Twisty and Big, wasn't it? Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Good episode. Psychological episode, but still, good episode. I never had any doubt that John Billingsley would shine like Reed's best lip gloss in an ep all his own, and I am psyched he got a chance to get one in. Especially if the lamentable happens. I particularly loved how Phlox's humming or singing went from carelessly joyful to jangled to downright scared -- it's really no surprise to anyone that Billingsley delivered a performance with as many layers as a piece of particularly well-executed puff pastry, but it still bears mentioning. Additionally, Blalock, who has long been one of my favorites on this show (don't believe me? Read my past recaps, cretins!), also did splendidly in her chance to flex her non-Vulcanly muscles. Her expressions during the purging of the technobabble were just priceless. Blalock doesn't do enough interviews that show the talent above her neck, and I really wish she would because after seeing her performance tonight; I know there's something there. Finally, give those music guys five gold stars; they accomplished exactly what they set out to do in this episode: they scared me.
Let me just say here and now that I never thought T'Pol was anything but a fig of Phlox's imagination. No, it's not because I'm so perceptive that I noticed what she touched or didn't touch, ate or didn't eat, said or didn't say -- it was the promos. It's ALWAYS the promos that ruin this for me. Sigh. Still, I enjoyed this episode IN SPITE of the EVIL UPN.
Enterprise floats in pretty pink stuff. The common rooms and corridors are empty and silent. Until Porthos comes trotting along, paw-nails clicking on the floor. "Finally! The episode we've all been waiting for -- the episode when Porthos saves the day!" the Evil Dr. Mathra cheers. Phlox comes running after the beagle, calling his name fruitlessly. Porthos starts bounding when Phlox quickens his own pace, and doesn't listen even when Phlox finally hits on the magic word "heel." Instead, the pup scratches and barks at a closed door. Phlox acquiesces to the demands "just for a moment" and opens the door. Porthos jumps on a sleeping Quantum and licks his face. Porthos must not be his Prince Charming, because Quantum doesn't wake up with a rose clasped to his chest. Phlox takes the puppy away and tells him he can come back tomorrow. The camera pulls up, and we see Quantum lying prone on his bed. Even when he's in a coma, Quantum still can't manage to look relaxed.
Gonna wash that song right outta my hair!
Enterprise floats in Hello Kitty's sweat. Phlox spouts some stuff he's reading about dogs to a bored Porthos, who is draped on a pillow on the floor. Phlox decides to take a walk, and Porthos jumps up to join him. Since the doctor's walking around barefoot, we get a semi-look at Phlox's long, dark, curly toenails. Billingsley carefully lays down his feet: heel, toe, heel, toe. Speaking into his hand-held thing, Phlox dictates a letter to his doctor friend. We learn that Dr. Lucas has left Denobula, returned to Earth, and lost come colleagues in the attack on Florida. In the kitchen, Phlox pulls out a jar of something. The jar is pasted with a label bearing Phlox's name, and under that: "DO NOT EAT." Still dictating, Phlox pulls out a jibbery (jiggly and rubbery, don't you know) black thing, and Porthos barks excitedly. Phlox doubts Porthos will like the oiled-up and cooked Chinese woodear mushroom, and tells him it's a leech that will clean out his intestines. Interestingly enough, woodears are supposedly good for that as well. Porthos begs on his hind legs. "Don't tell the Captain," Phlox says, and tosses the leech over. Porthos neatly catches it in his mouth and chews loudly. Phlox licks his fingers and treats himself to a leech as he prepares to tell Dr. Lucas why he suddenly has time to catch up on his correspondence.
In the Situation Alcove, T'Pol points out a thing that wasn't there before. It's a trans-dimensional thing and will take two weeks to go around it. When the idea of going through it is suggested by T'Pol, Trip responds with, "You said nothing from our universe could survive inside these things." Is Vulcan part of "our universe"? It's important because it's never expressly said that Vulcans couldn't survive the thing, which is why they get away with the Imaginary Vulcan for so long. T'Pol turns the discussion over to Phlox, who, with a lot of medi-babble, suggests that if everyone was put in comas, they'd be okay. Trip doesn't like that idea at all. Quantum asks how long it will take them to get through it, and T'Pol tells him, "Less than an hour at warp four." Trip doesn't want to go to warp in the thing, because they don't really know what's going on in there, and suggests they stick to impulse, even though that will take them four days. I'm making a prediction here and now that they will go to warp before the episode is over, but while everyone's still asleep. Phlox confirms that they can keep them under for that long. Trip makes a face. I know he's thinking, "What if I have to pee?" It's a valid question. Maybe that's why Phlox got out the leeches -- they weren't just a snack for him; he stuffs them down everyone's throats every day and they suck up the waste material. I mean, he did say they clean intestines. Oh, but not bladders. Hm. How to explain that one away? Oh! I got it: I don't care.
As he walks to another door (now in slippers, so I hope he trimmed his toe-talons), Phlox tells Dr. Lucas that no matter how wary Trip was, Quantum was convinced. He checks on May-Comatose-Again and says that his Denobulan phys renders him immune to the neuro-disturbance, which is why he volunteered to look after the crew. Although the computer is set to control the ship, Phlox did have to learn a few things. Cut to May-Comatose-Again giving Phlox pilot lessons. The ship jolts under Phlox's tender touch, and the good doctor admits, "I soon developed a newfound respect for Ensign Mayweather." Maybe the writers could develop that newfound respect for Mayweather as well. Trip likewise gives him a few pointers about the engines, and tries to impress upon him how serious a thing it is to even breathe the same air as the engine. Trip also tells Phlox that if anything goes wrong that Phlox can't handle, he's to be awakened in order to save the ship. Phlox won't expose Trip to permanent damage. "If it comes down to saving me or the ship..." Trip insists, "Look, I'm making it easy for you, okay?" Yeah, needs(the many) > max(needs(the few), needs(the one))= Dead Spock/Dead Trip. We get it, but just in case, anvil us later in the episode, okay? Thanks.
Phlox tucks Quantum in for a long winter's nap. It's clear that he's the last one to be put under. Phlox tells him to lie back, but Quantum begins, "Doctor --" "Please, Captain, I've told you the procedure is completely safe," Phlox interrupts. "I'm sure, but I --" "Captain, I've already had this discussion with Commander Tucker, Lt. Reed and virtually every other officer on this ship: 'I'm not comfortable being incapacitated.' 'I really should be at my post.' 'I'm willing to risk staying awake.' Well, you can't. Nor do you need to -- I assure you, I have everything well in hand!" Phlox natters as Quantum opens his mouth several times to interrupt again. "I know, Doctor," Quantum finally breaks in. "As Captain of this ship, I'm the one who's responsible for everyone aboard. There aren't many people I'd willingly turn that responsibility over to. You're one of them." Phlox is all flattered and touched and stuff. "I just wanted to say that before you put me under," Quantum says, lying down. Now, why can't Bakula act like this all the time? It wasn't so hard to be natural and slightly humorous, was it? Phlox wedges a silver disk with a light dot into Quantum's furrows, and hyposprays him. We get that above shot from earlier, in which I swear Bakula STILL manages to make Quantum look CONSTIPATED, even though he's ASLEEP! Takes a rare talent.
Enterprise sails through Strawberry Shortcake's snot. Phlox tells Dr. Lucas that he appreciated Quantum's vote of confidence, because he had been a little worried about being in charge for so long. "However, after two days at the helm, the ship is running perfectly," Phlox dictates, checking on the engine ["and misplacing a modifier" -- Sars]. He hears a bang from somewhere and calls out. There's no one there. Phlox tells Dr. Lucas that he will be very relieved when he can wake up the crew in two days, sixteen hours, and fifty-three minutes.
Singing a Denobulan opera, Phlox jogs through the corridors. Porthos bounds after him with velvety ears a-flapping. Precious.
Sickbay. Phlox walks in, clad only in his slippers. He talks to his pets as he feeds them. Now, I'm not saying that I know a whole lot about Denobulan genitalia, but it strikes me that standing naked in front of open cages is risky at best. There's an interesting shot where the large and erect spout of a watering can in the foreground is perfectly positioned, if you catch my Austin Powers drift.
Mess hall. To my intense delight, Phlox chooses to eat popcorn and watch my favorite Danny Kaye movie, The Court Jester. I know a lot of people think this particular scene -- "the chalice from the palace has the pellet with the poison," with the radiant Glynis Johns (suffragette mother in Mary Poppins and reader of Bread and Jam for Francis books) -- is the funniest, but I disagree. My favorite part is when Kaye convinces a palace guard that he's Giacomo by faking his way though a flurry of several languages. It's absolutely hysterical the way he makes his faux German seem so insulting that even the guard starts to take offense. Ah, me. I think it was P.J. O'Rourke who said, "German is a language which was developed solely to afford the speaker the opportunity to spit at strangers under the guise of polite conversation." Phlox tosses popcorn to Porthos. Again Phlox hears a noise. He mutes the movie and listens again. There's a distant rumble. "That doesn't sound normal, does it?" Phlox asks Porthos uncomfortably, and guesses they should investigate. He goes to the door, but Porthos stays where he is. He probably doesn't see much sense in leaving the popcorn behind. When Porthos still doesn't attend Phlox, the beleaguered doctor picks the pooch up and sighs that he'd be better off talking to his bat. They walk through the corridors together, finding nothing. Phlox supposes they are letting their imaginations run away with them, and admits that he shouldn't have let Trip talk him into watching The Exorcist last week. I'd think The Shining would actually be the scarier movie in this case. Unless he's got a possessed, vomiting child stuffed away somewhere. But the metallic bang comes again, and Phlox peeks back around a corridor corner.
Engineering. The music gets good and creepy as Phlox enters. He looks around at nothing. He calls out, "Hello? It's Dr. Phlox." Porthos yips and runs under a sh'pod. What's a sh'pod doing in Engineering? Oh, nothing. They're not in Engineering, they're in a sh'bay. Okay, I'm all caught up now. Dr. Phlox looks up to see steam hissing out of something, making chains rattle. Why are rattling chains so scary? Sometimes they are heavy and betoken Ill Portent, sometimes Marley lugs them around, but other times they are just shivery. I don't know why; maybe it's the fear of being strangled by them. The fact that they are welded to the ceiling doesn't seem to lessen that fear. Phlox is satisfied that that's what all the noise was about -- although I still don't see how he could hear some measly chains rattling all the way in other parts of the ship, but maybe he's got super-hearing because he's Denobulan -- and kneels by the sh'pod to say to Porthos, "Well now, don't you feel foolish?" He fondles Porthos's ears. Awww. Whenever I see a beagle in our park, I poke at Dr. Mathra and hiss, "Porthos!"
There's another big bang, and Phlox jumps up to see T'Pol coming from behind another sh'pod. What she did to make that big noise, I'll never know. Banged her dinners into the sh'pod's hull, maybe. Phlox sighs, clutches at his chest, and reprimands her for not responding when he called out. T'Pol apologizes and says she was running a diagnostic. T'Pol wonders what Phlox is doing in the sh'pod, since it's supposed to be movie night. Phlox gestures at the steam-chain duet and says he could hear it all the way in the Mess Hall. T'Pol says she'll make a note of it in her repair logs. "Bangs, squeaks, rattling chains...is this a starship or a haunted house?" Phlox asks, annoyed, as he turns off the steam thing. T'Pol wonders if he's okay, and Phlox admits to having a slight headache since they invaded the Bay of Pink: "Perhaps Vulcans and Earth canines are better able to adapt to it than Denobulans." Hm, headache? Not a good sign. Phlox then says he's barely seen her over the last two days. "Barely"? Either this was a way to throw us off from the fact that she's his Imaginary Vulcan, or he'd made her up since the very beginning to ease his loneliness. I wonder that he picked T'Pol as his Imaginary Friend. I think the writers picked her because it could be argued that, as she isn't human, she doesn't have to be put to sleep, and therefore the viewers wouldn't suspect that she was a figment of Phlox's imagination. However, what's Phlox's motivation for settling on her? If he wants company, she's not exactly the most companionable member of the crew -- especially not for his gregarious self. Anyway, T'Pol says she's had her duties to attend to, and the rest of the time she's been reading in her quarters. When T'Pol refuses his requests to hang with him that night, Phlox asks her to "share a meal" with him later. She agrees, and leaves.
Engineering. Phlox attends to his duties. He hears a bang and calls out. No response. He continues humming and doing his duty. Another bang. Phlox shouts, "T'Pol -- is that you?" in a tone bordering on panic. He gazes around. Something falls on the catwalk directly above him. "Stop!" Phlox shouts. He comms T'Pol and orders her not to "creep around the ship like a Draxxan cloud viper." T'Pol doesn't know what he's on about, since she hasn't left the Bridge. Scary music.
Galley. Ooh, Chef's got All-Clad pots and pans! I recognize them by the telltale curved handles. Nice. After apologizing for not wanting to eat in the Mess with all the empty chairs, Phlox makes dinner for him and T'Pol, saying, "My fifth grandmother made this for each of my weddings. Chef's tried to prepare it but he never gets it quite right." He puts two plates of something green and wet in front of T'Pol, who says that Chef's Plomeek broth is likewise lacking. Plomeek broth? I thought it was soup? Neelix's recipe certainly doesn't make it out to be a just a broth. Although, truth be told, the broth idea is pretty much what the Evil Dr. Mathra thought Plomeek soup was when he first heard of it. I just want to note here that Phlox is pulling salt and seasonings from some very cool bulbous glass bottles -- not as cool as Alton Brown's sodium chloride containment unit, but a nice touch nevertheless.
Phlox eats. T'Pol doesn't. Phlox confirms that T'Pol wasn't banging around Engineering earlier, and T'Pol asks what he was doing in there, since she's the one monitoring the engines. If that's the case, then why did Trip give Phlox a tutorial? Phlox finally confesses that he could've sworn someone was in Engineering with him that day. He realizes it can't be a member of the crew, since everyone is in "deep neural sedation." And this is where I think Phlox's subconscious decides that if it's not his Imaginary Vulcan, and it's not a crewmember, it has to be something else. Hence the apparitions later. Phlox talks about how crowded and vibrant Denobula is and how much he misses the sociability. He admits to being stressed out by being the only two people awake on the ship. T'Pol apologizes for letting him get lonely, and finds it ironic that she should be his sole companion, since Vulcans spend as much time seeking solitude as Denobulans do seeking social interaction. "At times it has been trying for me to exist with eighty humans -- especially the more irrational ones," T'Pol says ruefully. "Such as Commander Tucker," Phlox smiles. Without admitting to any sort of hanky-panky, T'Pol says she's found the last few days to be a "welcome respite." Phlox feels her, but says he won't complain about movie night being overcrowded ever again.
Sickbay. Phlox continues his letter to Dr. Lucas, in which he again reiterates how much he misses his homeworld. He walks into Quantum's Quarters and says, "Good afternoon, Captain. How are we feeling today?" He checks that everything with Quantum's brain is tickity-boo, and is distracted by more metallic noise. To me, it just sounds like the way a water-faring ship sounds as it expands and contracts in the water. Phlox goes over to the window and looks out. There's a screech as a weird shadow passes over Phlox's face. He leaps back. Okay, that? Freaked me out! I didn't see it the first time around; now I'm recapping in broad daylight, and I was expecting something of the sort in this scene, but it still made me jump. I think it's because I have this insane fear of looking out of a window into darkness and having something pop up right in front of my face. Heart Attack City. Phlox is of the same mind as he comms T'Pol.
Through scans that she never touches, T'Pol announces that there are no additional bio-signs on the ship. Phlox Shatner Lithgow insists that what he saw was on the hull. T'Pol invites him to look at the scans showing that there are no alien vessels, and when Phlox opines that the My Little Pony vomit is horsing around with their sensors, she thinks it's far more likely that his two thousand minutes of solitude is making him imagine things. When Phlox protests, T'Pol insists there's nothing out of the ordinary on the ship. T'Pol reminds Phlox that he hasn't slept much, and suggests he rest. "I have to finish my rounds," Phlox sniffs, and leaves.
In the turbolift, Phlox hums a jangled tune. It's a far cry from the Denobulan opera he was aria-ing out in the corridor earlier. He steps into Hoshi's quarters and we hear, rather than see, chittering-clacking sounds. Phlox looks up in shock to see a CGI Bug House hovering over the prone Hoshi. "Get away from her!" Phlox shrieks. Aw, don't be afraid, Phlox -- the special effect isn't that scary! Bug House launches himself at Phlox and chases him through the corridors. Just when Phlox thinks he's put enough distance between him and the bug, he sees an insect shadow thrown up on the wall of the corridor opposite. All I could think here was how shadows are much bigger than actual size, and that when Phlox finally saw the bug it was going to be Jiminy Cricket. Phlox dashes to a control bank and pushes some buttons. Gears grind and he stares at a red light, biting his lips, until it finally turns green and the door slides open. John Billingsley is amazing in this scene. I mean, he's amazing throughout the episode, but I really liked him here. Inside his hiding place -- is it Decon or an airlock? -- Phlox shrinks into a corner and watches the door slide shut. Once it's shut, there's additional banging and Bug House chittering outside. On the ceiling of the outer corridor, a shadow can be seen. Finally the glass on Phlox's door stops shaking and the shadow on the ceiling moves off. There's a great wamper-jawed camera angle here that really captures how nutcased Phlox is. Phlox opens the door and gaspingly comms T'Pol: "It's the Xindi -- they're on board."
In the Armory, Phlox babbles about arming themselves against the Xindi while T'Pol tries to talk him out of his fantasy. Phlox won't listen to reason as his Imaginary Vulcan explains that all external docking ports and hatches were bug-proof. When Phlox brings up transporter technology, his Imaginary Vulcan says there are no transporter signatures to be found. Phlox doesn't care, and holds out a phaser to her. His Imaginary Vulcan won't take it. "I plan to start on G-deck and work my way up -- I'm going to stop them whether you help me or not!" Phlox announces.
That commercial with the Olympic volleyball chicks playing in the snow is a bit disturbing. It's the unnecessary blood that just doesn't fit with the rest of it. It's not like it's that nasty Nike commercial where people are vomiting and bleeding all over the place.
Phlox looks in on his patients. Some sleep in twos in bunk beds. Shouldn't someone turn them every few hours to ward off bedsores? Phlox checks other areas of the ship, his phaser held out in front of him, his flashlight primed and searching. He hears footsteps in a storage bay, but they belong to his Imaginary Vulcan. Walking through more corridors, his Imaginary Vulcan tries to reason with Phlox: if there were Xindi aboard, they wouldn't be hiding. Phlox argues this, and his e-pad starts beeping, telling him there's a non-human bio-sign somewhere. The Imaginary Vulcan points out that his Sickbay pets are non-human. Phlox curses that he can't lock onto the bio-sign, and his Imaginary Vulcan thinks the reconfigured space is mucking about with their sensors. "You said it wasn't affecting our sensors," Phlox challenges her. "I said it wasn't affecting main sensors, that hand scanner is far less powerful. You know that," the Imaginary Vulcan corrects him. Phlox gets his e-pad to lock onto the bio-sign, and sets off.
He creeps through the corridors with his Imaginary Vulcan behind him. There's a clicking noise. Porthos comes from around the corner, and Phlox narrowly avoids shooting him. "Doctor!" the Imaginary Vulcan cries out, grabbing at his hand. Porthos, who had jumped back initially, trots over to them and whimpers questioningly. Aww, damn, I just love that dog; he comes even when he's been shot at! "It's all right," Phlox gasps. "Fortunately, I'm not very proficient with hand weapons." You were more proficient than comfort allows, if you ask me! The Imaginary Vulcan wonders how Porthos got out, and Phlox admits that Porthos had been keeping him company for the last few days. When T'Pol accuses him of "simply" forgetting to put Porthos back in his quarters, Phlox shouts, "I've been distracted! And I would've thought this could tell the difference between a giant insect and a beagle!" Phlox waves his e-pad around. T'Pol tells him he's not using the scanner properly. Phlox accuses her of not being helpful. T'Pol thinks she's been more than helpful wasting two hours looking for a figment of his imagination. She brings up that Phlox once told Hoshi how Denobulans regularly practice hallucinating to relieve stress. "You're been under a lot of stress, lately, Doctor. You said you've been having headaches -- is there anything else you care to tell me?" T'Pol demands. Phlox shouts that he's fine. "You nearly shot the Captain's dog!" T'Pol shouts back. When you watch this episode knowing that T'Pol is an Imaginary Friend, it makes everything she says all the more layered, as you realize it's Phlox's own subconscious warning him that he's unwell. Phlox waves his e-pad around again and says he's going to recalibrate it to exclude canines, and then he's going to prove he's not seeing things. He stalks off down a corridor.
Partway down, Phlox is commed by a tearful Hoshi. He can't get her to respond, so he dashes off to her quarters and enters. A shower is running, and Hoshi is not in her bed. There's someone in the shower. The room is full of steam. You can't see very well. "Hoshi?" Phlox calls out. Someone in the shower turns to face him. "What are you doing? I have to put you back under sedation immediately -- you'll suffer permanent damage!" Phlox cries, grabbing a towel. Hoshi comes around the door of the shower. Her face looks melted, and her eyes are completely white. See, this is also more like The Shining when Jack makes out with that rotting corpse. "Hoshi?" Phlox says softly. Hoshi grabs at her face and whimpers, "You did this." Phlox says he has to get her to Sickbay. "You said we'd be safe," Hoshi whimpers. "YOU PROMISED US!" She lunges at Phlox, who falls backwards out of the room and onto the floor. He scrambles up and sees Hoshi in her bed, asleep. The noise and steam of the shower stops. Phlox peers into the bathroom and sees that all is normal. The music here is like a teched up version of the Jason/Friday the 13th strains. Phlox comms T'Pol and tells her to meet him in Sickbay. He stumbles into the corridor and opens a turbolift. Quantum is there, and asks where Phlox has been. "Ca-captain?" Phlox stutters. "What are you doing up?" Quantum tells him that T'Pol woke him because there was something wrong. Quantum then goes onto say that Phlox needs rest, and he obviously expected too much of him when he left him in charge. "You're not real!" Phlox insists. Of course he's not -- he's not nearly furrowing enough. It's a dead giveaway. T'Pol comes up behind him. Phlox whips back and forth and sees that Quantum is gone. Phlox gulps for air.
The Evil Dr. Mathra came up with an analysis of what Phlox's subconscious inventions of various crewmembers mean in terms of how he views them. T'Pol, he sees as a voice of reason and science. Quantum, as captain, he sees as an authority figure, who maintains a fatherly presence on the ship. Trip is overly protective of his engines and quick to jump on anyone who messes with them. Hoshi, he sees as shrill, appearance-obsessed drama queen. Mayweather, he only sees asleep.
Sickbay. Phlox scans himself and determines that he is being unexpectedly affected by the stains from Lisa Loeb's wardrobe. "You were right, I was hallucinating," Phlox admits to his Imaginary Vulcan, and confirms that there won't be any permanent damage. However, he will have to put himself under neuro-sedation, since it is affecting his judgment. He asks his Imaginary Vulcan to look after the crew for him. Imaginary Vulcan doesn't like the sound of that at all, and protests vehemently. "It won't be for long, we're coming out of the disturbance in six hours -- T'Pol, I'm asking for your help!" Phlox pleads. Imaginary Vulcan refuses, and cites the fact that her irritation with Phlox when they were searching the ship for bogeymen means that she's being affected as well. Imaginary Vulcan insists that the crew is better off in his hands than in the green hands of a PMSing Vulcan. Phlox brings up the fact that he nearly shot Porthos, and worries that he might open an airlock, shut down life support, or binge on chocolate cake. Imaginary Vulcan insists that he won't do that, since his duty is to look after the crew. She reminds him how much Quantum trusts Phlox, "as do I." That's not much comfort coming from someone who isn't real. Of course, the deeper meaning is that Phlox trusts himself. Phlox gives in.
Phlox continues his letter to Dr. Lucas, saying that he and his Imaginary Vulcan are relieved that their "adventure" is nearly over. On the Bridge, Phlox says that once they confirm that they're out of the lower intestine of a Marshmallow Peep, they can start waking people up. Phlox hits something for the viewscreen, and stops mid-sentence when he realizes they aren't clear of the Peep's tush. "We should have been out of the disturbance half an hour ago," Phlox says. The Imaginary Vulcan thinks there were some slight navigational differences that they didn't account for. Phlox bitches about space travel not being as precise as reputed. It turns out they are nearly a quarter of a light year from the edge, because the Peep's polyp has reconfigured and enlarged itself. Phlox determines with a brilliantly cracking voice that, at their current speed, they won't be out for another ten weeks. "Okay, light doesn't even get a quarter of a light year in ten weeks and they are going far slower than light at impulse speed, so either the distance is screwed up or the speed is," the Evil Dr. Mathra feels the need to mention. Bermaga, you need to hire someone like my husband to keep your science on the straight and narrow, I'm serious. Don't piss off your geeks. They're powerful. T'Pol decides they need to increase speed to warp. Quoting Trip, Phlox tells her it's too dangerous, because they have no idea what could happen. T'Pol points out that their only other choice is keeping the crew sedated for another ten weeks.
Engineering. The camera comically looks down at Phlox and T'Pol from a great height as Phlox asks his Imaginary Vulcan what they should do first. Standing slightly behind Phlox, the Imaginary Vulcan says, "I'm afraid I may not be of much assistance." She says she's having problems focusing. "On your worst day, you are more qualified to operate warp engines than I am!" Phlox insists. "Unfortunately, this is by far one of my worst days," the Imaginary Vulcan admits. "I'm a physician, not an engineer!" Phlox shouts-out to Bones. Imaginary Vulcan points out his many degrees. "None of them are in warp theory!" Phlox bellows. "The procedure for starting the warp engine are in the database," Imaginary Vulcan remembers. "Are you suggesting I read the manual?" Phlox whimpers. Hee. The camera-work here was hysterical. Phlox and his Imaginary Vulcan look like two little kids to the engine, and Blalock had great expressions solely contained in her eyes. Nice direction, B'Elanna.
Phlox reads the manual and mutters about milli-cochrans. I didn't know he had a unit of measure named after him, did I? Don't email me, that's a rhetorical question. Phlox spouts technobabble and doesn't understand it any better than I do. T'Pol goes off to purge the plasma manifolds -- how she's going to accomplish that when she's imaginary is beyond me -- and Trip appears to berate Phlox for fooling with his engines. He tells Phlox that he's going to screw things up and kill everyone. Phlox yells at his imagination to go away. T'Pol appears to ask if Phlox is okay, and tells him she can't find the plasma relays. Phlox rolls his eyes and says he'll do it himself. Phlox and his Imaginary Vulcan monitor technobabble and set the engine for warp two.
Suddenly, stuff goes very wrong. Alarms go off and the engine shakes. Outside, the nacelles flicker like they're trying to warm up. "I followed the procedures exactly, what did I do wrong?" Phlox shouts. "You need to --" Imaginary Vulcan tries to say. "What?!" Phlox demands. Imaginary Vulcan can't answer him. "Is it the particle confinement?" Phlox grasps wildly. "Perhaps you need to increase it!" Imaginary Vulcan suggests happily. "Well, how do I do that?" Phlox demands. Imaginary Vulcan rolls her eyes up like it's on the tip of her tongue. Heh. Phlox dashes down the steps and fiddles with the manual, yelling, "Particle confinement!" Stuff explodes behind T'Pol, and she thinks they should wake Trip up. Phlox refuses, because Trip will die. T'Pol argues, "If we can't accomplish our mission, billions of people on Earth could die. Isn't it logical to sacrifice one life to save so many?" Yeah, yeah, need of the many...few...Spock...peeling...skin...dead -- we went over this already, class. "Particle confinement!" Phlox announces, and scampers back up to T'Pol. He tells her to do something. She tries, but stops short of doing it. Instead she crouches down, looks around at Phlox and points at the console. "T'POOOOL!" Phlox bawls. He does it for her, and the ship simmers down. They engage the warp engines. When they hit warp one-point-eight, alarms go off again. Phlox notes that pressure on the hull is increasing, and starts pushing buttons. He explains to his Imaginary Friend that Reed insisted on showing him how to transfer power to the hull to increase the plating. The ship stabilizes. "WARP TWO!!" Phlox announces, and starts laughing hysterically. You just want to laugh with him. ["Especially since the entire scene seems to have been based on a phone conversation between me and Verizon DSL customer service." -- Sars]
Normal space. Quantum's Quarters. Phlox wakes up Quantum, who asks him hoarsely to clear the way to the bathroom. Okay, he only asks if they are through the disturbance, but you know he was thinking, "Bathroom. Now. Make it go." Phlox tells him that there were a few glitches, which will be in his log, and lets in Porthos, who attacks Quantum delightedly. I wonder if nearly barbequing Porthos will be one of the "glitches" Phlox mentions. Quantum thanks Phlox sincerely. Do you know what those neural cortex suppressors remind me of? The episode of Wonder Woman where blond aliens placed white plastic things that looked like hard-cooked eggs cut in half on human foreheads and sucked their brains out. Man, I loved that show. I had everything Wonder Woman: bed sheets, costume, Underoos, two posters, lunchbox, t-shirt, Barbie-ish doll, towels (beach and bath), bathing suit, record, audio tapes, coloring book…where was I?
Phlox and his Imaginary Vulcan escort Trip down the hall. Trip admits to feeling woozy. Phlox encourages him to get something to eat. Trip staggers happily off. The Imaginary Vulcan offers to help him wake the others, but Phlox insists she get some rest, and escorts her to her quarters. Inside her quarters, the Imaginary Vulcan thanks Phlox. Phlox nods and says he'll stop by in a few hours to check on her. Imaginary Vulcan doesn't say anything, and Phlox looks down to see T'Pol sleeping in her bed in her blue Vulcan Velour, not the Vermillion she's been wearing all ep. She's a fast changer. Didn't even see her nekkid this time. Phlox looks up and sees that his Imaginary Vulcan is gone. Instead of freaking out as I undoubtedly would, he just smiles gently and looks at T'Pol again. Wait, does that mean he never checked on her the whole time she was in coma? That's a bit disturbing.
Phlox tells Dr. Lucas that he thought of trashing the entire letter, since so much of it is a work of fiction, but he thought Dr. Lucas would be amused to read it. So, could the expanding disturbance also be a figment of his imagination?
Mess Hall. Phlox joins T'Pol at a table. "Commander Tucker was complaining that it will take him days to realign the warp coils," T'Pol says as Phlox sits. Man, shut up, Trip! Phlox chuckles, "Yeah, he gave me quite a talking to." "He also said, and I quote, 'Phlox did one helluva job.'" Aw. Someone bumps into Phlox and excuses himself. T'Pol thinks Phlox must've enjoyed having the ship to himself. "It wasn't nearly as empty as I anticipated," Phlox comments. T'Pol looks Vulcanly confused.
week: Mu-titty on the Booty.