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Eli gets thrown into a continuation of last week's war vision, and when said vision causes him to take cover under the conference table in a staff meeting, Tom Amandes hatches a plan to get around the no-fire-Eli agreement by setting him up, and he's forced to take a physical and a drug test. Nathan thinks maybe letting the aneurysm come to light, which would lose Eli his job, is for the best, and at first refuses to risk his medical license by lying about Eli's condition. The vision also forces Eli to take Taylor on in a custody hearing, as he represents a mother who's on an Iraqi tour for the National Guard. This stresses Taylor out, because the case was supposed to be so open-and-shut as to obviate a trial, and she was going to spend the week on the engagement party, but she's a good enough sport about it at first. The case, however, is involved and ugly, and seems to involve child abuse on the father's part. The visions continue after Eli takes the case, so Chin gives him acupuncture, letting us see that Eli's dad had a vision almost identical to Eli's, only it caused his dad to fire a gun in his delusional state. Beth shows up at the engagement party, thanks to Sassy Patti, but the real problem happens when Eli gets thrown back into the vision right as Jordan is giving a big speech to all the guests. When he comes out of it in the middle of a pile of pastries, it seems pretty clear that something's got to give. Nate changes his mind and signs off on Eli's physical (although I don't know who would possibly accept an assessment from the man's brother), which is a nice parallel, given that we learn that Eli took responsibility for this dad's firing of the gun. These visions cause Eli to realize that the father and son in the case are duping the court in order to get the mother awarded sole custody, which would get her discharged from the military, and the mother was in on the plan. This puts Eli in the position of having to tread very lightly in his closing arguments, which is a refreshing change from him giving a treacly feelgood speech at Minute 50. Eli wins and clearly doesn't feel good about it, and then Jordan calls him in and asks him point blank if anything's wrong with him. Eli lies, in keeping with the events of the episode, but he's totally honest with Taylor, to the point where he says he doesn't want to inflict himself on Taylor the way his dad did on his mother and family, and breaks up with her despite her emotional protests. There was no music and no George Michael in this episode, and I'm not saying that's a good thing, but...I think this was probably the best episode so far. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
The previouslies flow right into a hefty mechanic type who's just hooked up Eli's car to be towed. Eli tells the guy that the sporty convertible is who he is, but the guy replies, "Apparently, it's who you were." Hefty Mechanic, we already have a Dr. Chen. The point is that it's a company car, and the company has apparently decided to take it away. Who would have guessed that Eli's refusal to do the work the senior partners asked him to would have negative consequences? Eli begs the guy not to take it, but he's unmoved, and snarks, "Seems to me like a real prophet would have seen this coming." That would be funnier if it didn't make me wonder how this schlub knows about Eli's prophet status. Eli will risk everything so Jordan doesn't find out about the aneurysm, yet he's blabbing to randoms about being a prophet? Sometimes twisting the story for the joke isn't worth it, and that means something coming from me. Anyway, nice car go bye-bye...
...and then Eli is pedeconferencing with Sassy Patti as the latter tells him he's going to be late for another staff meeting. Eli complains that he would have been on time, but since his car got repo'd, he had to take two buses and a BART train to get there. I...doubt that. Unless the establishing shots are lying to us, Eli lives in the city, and San Francisco proper is not large. The backlot they shoot this show on is probably bigger, which may be the source of the confusion. Sassy Patti establishes that Eli referred to his ride as his "Millennium Falcon," and that he even made noises that sound to me like those speeder bikes made in Return Of The Jedi when he changed lanes. Okay, Eli's a big dork? Now we're getting somewhere. Sassy Patti, not surprisingly, doesn't see it that way, as she thinks the loss of the car yields "one less thing to bug the hell out of me about you." It seems only fair that she even up the score now, no? Eli tells Sassy Patti that Jordan isn't going to break him, but she responds that his engagement party is breaking her, and she's been color-coding RSVPs according to Taylor's wishes while Taylor's assistant has been busy doing her job. That does seem a little unfair to Sassy Patti, but then again, it's not like Eli's been generating a whole lot of actual company work lately to occupy her time. Eli leaves Sassy Patti and runs right into Maggie, who babbles about Matt being out of town and wanting to sub in to argue some motion or other for some case and wanting Eli to help her out, since she feels like she needs a win. Considering this subplot goes absolutely nowhere and doesn't afford Maggie the opportunity to be even the slightest bit involved in any other subplot, I think we could have done without her this week. After Eli calls her on an egregious mixed metaphor, she abjectly begs for help, and Eli sighs in defeat. They head into the meeting...
...wherein Tom Amandes is telling everyone that associate billables are down lately, and the partners are concerned. A broken-looking dude pipes up that "many of us" are staying there overnight and sleeping on cots. Tom Amandes deliciously suggests that the firm remove the cots, and then adds, "Kidding. Or not! You decide." How I love that man. Jordan mentions the very case Maggie was just on about, saying they need someone to assist with it, so Maggie pipes up and volunteers. Jordan: "Who are you, and why are you at my table?" Not that I couldn't listen to Victor Garber talk all day, but...if literally no partner even knows who Maggie is, who the hell hired her? If the joke makes no sense, it's distracting, and for Jordan not to be familiar with all the associates doesn't make him look like much of a businessman, to be perfectly honest. It's not like he's got a hundred lawyers working for him. When Maggie mentions that she's enlisted Eli to back her up, though, Jordan is pleased. Eli tells Maggie he hates her, which: fine, and then he hears battlefield sounds. He looks up...
...and we pan up to see a military plane fly overhead. When we come back down, Eli's on a battlefield, and he rolls into a trench, whereupon the soldier therein berates Eli for taking so long to get there. Eli's confused: "People in my visions don't talk to me!" For someone who hasn't really fully accepted his prophet status, he sure has some firm ideas about how these things are supposed to go. The soldier ignores Eli's comment and says that "Private Swain" is pinned down somewhere and taking heavy fire, so they have to advance on a nearby ridge. He grabs Eli by the lapels...
...and then Eli snaps out of it, as he's bumping his head on the underside of the conference table. I know I complained last week that Eli didn't just ignore the biplane the second time it came at him, but I'm not sure he can do that when he's thrown full-on into a vision. I mean, he could just stand around within the vision, but I'm not sure that would translate into acting normally in the real world. Anyway, all eyes are on him as he tries to tell everyone that he dropped his pen. He'd be more convincing if his bug-eyed expression didn't make it look like he just got the world's fastest case of post-traumatic stress disorder.
After the meeting, Tom Amandes tells Jordan, "He climbed under the conference table!" Heh. Tom Amandes goes on that Eli's caseload is at ten percent of what it should be, and while Jordan thinks that taking away Eli's car and slashing his expense account will be sufficient motivation for him to reclaim his "rainmaker status," Tom Amandes isn't convinced, and thinks he's found a loophole in the no-fire-Eli agreement -- they need to show that Eli is either mentally or physically impaired, or on drugs. Jordan doesn't think Eli has any of those problems, but Tom Amandes replies, "There's really only one way to find out for sure, isn't there."
Eli tries a Carrie reference that's totally lost on Chen, which: Come on. I mean, maybe he hasn't seen the movie, but the references themselves have been so ubiquitous for so long that I can't buy his unfamiliarity. Not to mention the fact that it makes me sad, because anyone who doesn't know how awesome Piper Laurie was in that film is seriously missing out. Chen starts some prophet-speak, prompting Eli to bark that he's not a prophet, and can he please make up his damned mind already? I know it's not quite working properly, but still. Chen points out the obvious, that since Eli's visions are pretty clearly directly tied to his cases, it's hard to argue that they're random generations of the aneurysm. Eli tells Chen that he did some checking, and there's no one named Swain in the company client list, but Chen thinks that everything will reveal itself in time. Eli would perhaps have accepted this as a scene-ending platitude, but Chen continues, "You gotta have__" Eli: "Don't finish that sentence." Being an attorney, he's got to know how touchy music-rights people can be.
Eli's arriving at Taylor's office, bitching to her friendly assistant that Taylor's meeting should have been over half an hour earlier. As they reach the waiting area, we see a boy of ten or twelve sitting forlornly in the background, so it's no surprise when the assistant sotto voces that these custody cases can take a while. Eli thanks "Emily" and goes to have a seat to the kid, and, noting that he's reading the newspaper, asks, "Do they still publish Bloom County? I love that comic -- I'm a sucker for talking penguins." Hee. However, the kid is in fact looking at the front page, which bears a headline about the latest casualties in Iraq. Eli's bummed to see the twelve-year-old (so the kid tells us) reading about something so grim, but tells him things are going to be okay. Kid: "No offense, but...you don't know what you're talking about." Out of the mouths of babes. Eli acknowledges that that's probably true, and then Taylor and the boy's ostensible mother appear, the latter in a military uniform. She sighs to "Brian" that he needs to stop reading "that stuff," and then, after assuring him that she'll be done soon, disappears to go to the bathroom. Eli gets up to confer with Taylor, and his worst fears are realized when Taylor tells him that the woman is in the National Guard, but she's representing the dad. Misreading Eli's chagrin, she assures him that the case will be simple and quick and won't ruin their week. "Mrs. Swain is a private in active duty. No court is gonna grant her custody." Since you're obviously going to have to take Taylor on here, Eli, now would probably be a good time to take cover under a table again. Title card.
Maggie catches Eli by the elevator and babbles a bit about their case; other than the part where Eli apparently starred in his own lawyer-training video, it's unremarkable, so I'll skip ahead to where Sassy Patti dumps a bunch of folders into his hands, which she says contain the contract and budget for the engagement party. Eli protests her terming the party a "gala," but she counters that between the hundred and fifty guests, twelve-person orchestra, and three ice sculptures, "gala" is a perfectly appropriate term. I'm going to have to agree with Sassy Patti here, and not just because her high heel in my ass would be uncomfortable. Eli asks if "Larry Conniver" (pronounced CON-iv-ur, but heh) didn't call back, but Sassy Patti tells Eli that Larry said he doesn't want or need Eli's help on his case; however, Patti took it upon herself to call Taylor's assistant and find out where the hearing is. Eli asks Sassy Patti if she's being so proactive because she's psyched to see Eli take Taylor on in court. Sassy Patti: "Well, what's a gala without fireworks?" Rainy, usually. Sassy Patti tells him the cases he asked for are on his chair, and then some dude shows up and serves Eli with papers requiring him to take a physical and a drug test. Eli, not having time for this, takes off.
Turns out that Larry is the "Hapless Attorney" that Beth fired in the pilot, and he's not too psyched about the prospect of Eli taking another one of his clients. Eli tells him he just wants to be co-counsel, getting this reply: "Why? Did you nail this one back in college too?" Doubtful -- I don't think she would have made it into the military if she'd ever indulged in pot brownies, and Eli apparently wasn't hot enough back then to do any other way. Eli says he feels "badly" about stealing Beth, and one thing you'll have to get used to on a Berlanti show is repetition of usage errors. Although this one I've only heard once before, unlike the "anyways" that started in Everwood and is currently bicoastal. Anyways, Larry turns down Eli's offer of help.
As Taylor and Larry are arguing in front of the judge, Eli hilariously keeps his hand over his face as he sneaks into a seat. Taylor is making legal mincemeat of Larry until Eli, as surreptitiously as possible under the circumstances, flicks a crumpled-up note in Larry's direction. If there wasn't a take where the note read "Stop checking out Natasha's rack," I don't think the production team is generally having enough fun. Just as the judge is saying that she won't grant custody to a woman who's about to be shipped back to Iraq when the other parent is willing and qualified to give care, Larry peruses the note and grandly reads off the three names on it, then asking if they mean anything to the judge. Judge: "Not at all." Hee. Larry's like, in that case, I'd like to call on my co-counsel, Eli Stone! Ignoring Taylor's baffled gaping, Eli explains that the names in question belong to other Guard personnel who were granted special dispensations in similar circumstances, and the judge similarly ignores the ambient bickering between Taylor and Larry in favor of greenlighting the custody hearing. Eli gives Taylor a sheepish smile...
...and then he's trying to catch up with her as she stalks out of the courtroom. He's forced to let her go, though, when Larry and Private Swain catch him, Private Swain telling him that she wants to can Larry and hire him. She apologizes to Larry, and says he's a sweet man, "but I need a lawyer who's not sweet." I think Eli's pretty sweet, but that may be in a different sense.
In the parking garage, Eli catches up to Taylor, which seems appropriate, given that parking garages feature bloody murders more often than any other television venue. However, there are numerous witnesses present, so Taylor settles for chewing Eli out, saying that this isn't exactly the best way for them to spend time together. She goes on that the case was already supposed to be over, and she was going to spend the rest of the week on the engagement party preparations. Of course, at this point, pretty much everything should be taken care of, unless she's planning to carve the ice herself. Eli points out that she has a winning record against him, and they have a short but endearing argument about exactly where the head-to-head record stands before he wins her over with the promise of "adversarial sex." She does tell him that she took the case pro bono because she believes Brian belongs with his father, but a kiss from him ends the discussion. I still think she would have killed him if she could have gotten away with it. She gets into her car, but he leans down to her window and plaintively asks for a ride. Hee. She tells him to get in.
Eli's with Nate, who's telling him that he's totally screwed, because the firm is requiring him to undergo a CAT scan and an MRI. He asks if Eli can fight it, but Eli agitatedly says that if he opposes the subpoena, the partners will know there's something wrong. They might not have cause to fire you, though, but your point is still taken. Nate notes that they must already know something's wrong, and besides, maybe this is all for the best. Eli, however, thinks that he needs to work to stop himself from turning into their father, and as such, he needs Nate's help -- he wants him to sign off on papers attesting to Eli having a clean bill of health. Nate is aghast, with good reason, saying he's not going to risk his own license to help Eli save his, and besides, cutting back on work might be good for Eli. He refuses to respond to Eli's guilt-tripping, and walks out, leaving Eli alone in his office. Again with that?
In court, Mr. Swain testifies that after Mrs. Swain came back from a two-year tour, she was like a totally different person, and wanted a divorce. Mrs. Swain talks about how Brian is rebelling, and his dad has no control over him. Taylor starts to broach the possibility that Mrs. Swain has PTSD, prompting a little tête-à-tête between Eli and Taylor to which the judge puts paid, saying that they may be under a lot of pressure with their big engagement gala (Taylor: "Why does everyone keep calling it a gala?") but they should "keep your personal mishegos out of my courtroom." On the one hand, props for the use of "mishegos" by the African-American judge. On the other: Sounds like Someone's Honor isn't on the hundred-and-fifty-person guest list.
Sometime later, back at the firm's offices, Eli is gently telling Brian that all he has to do is answer the questions truthfully, and that no one's going to ask him who he wants to live with. Brian asks if his dad has to be there, which if you think about it is a big red flag, although Eli doesn't catch that at this point. Mrs. Swain then tells Brian to go find himself a snack, and if that doesn't make it clear that she's the responsible parent in this scenario, I don't know what will! When Brian's gone, Mrs. Swain remarks that it would have been nice to know about Eli and Taylor's relationship before she hired Eli, but Eli assures her that she's getting his A game. She gets up to go, but then mentions that he should retrieve some phone records that she gave to Larry, which show that there was a 911 call from the house at some point when she was away. "That kind of thing never happened when I was home."
Eli goes into his office, and is startled when Maggie swivels his chair around to reveal herself. I'd point out that in this firm where associates don't see their homes for days at a time, she doesn't seem to be doing any work, but since she's dressed for nothing more taxing than tanning and shopping, I'm just going to assume that she's taking a personal day. Maggie gossips about the Taylor case while paying the merest of lip service to her own, and right when she leaves, the gunfire starts again. Eli's probably wishing that it could have shown up a little more expediently. He walks out of his office and sees the private again, although this time the vision is partially incorporated into the law offices. He tells Eli once again that they have to take the ridge, and then when a grenade lands in front of Eli, the soldier tells him to pick it up. Eli: "Pick it up? You pick it up!" This looks like the lawyer version of the Darwin awards. The grenade looks like it starts to explode...
...but then Eli's out of the vision and crouching under Sassy Patti's desk. She catches him, and gives him a sassy look as he tries to sell her a lame excuse before asking if she wouldn't mind getting Chen on the phone for him. Sassy Patti: "Yeah, I'm thinking I should just go ahead and put him on speed-dial!" Just as well -- there's going to be a space opening up at the end of the episode (VAGUE SPOILER!)
Eli complains that he followed the vision's path and it still hasn't gone away. Chen: "Maybe there's more to this vision than just the case." I'd like to ask him where he gets all that wisdom, but I'm sure he'd just reply, "Ancient fake Chinese secret." He sends Eli into a needle trance...
...and then we see Eli's young self entering his house to find his dad breathing heavily and seeming...altered. Tom Cavanagh is really convincing in this episode, by the way. He talks about having to get someone "off that ridge" to save him from the Nazis. Eli doesn't get what's going on at first, thinking that his dad is just playing war, so he asks his dad what he should do. Eli's dad (I'm just going to call him Ed until I get a name, because what's shorter than that?) tells "Private Stone" to stay there and suppress fire, and then reveals that he's holding a pistol. Eli looks scared, and when Ed tells the imaginary people around him, "You're all good men" before heading off-screen, I get scared, too. Young Eli flinches hard as, in another room, the gun goes off...
...and then Eli sits up, horribly upset. Chen asks him what he saw, but Eli only answers, "This was a mistake." From a dramatic standpoint, I'm going to have to disagree.
Brian is now on the stand talking about how he's always worried that his mom isn't ever going to come home. Taylor asks if there isn't someone at home he can lean on, and Brian says that his dad is there for him. When Eli takes his turn, however, he brings up the times that Brian didn't want to talk to his dad, specifically this one time that Brian made a particular phone call. Taylor objects, as Eli didn't mention anything to her about phone records, and the people on the boards confirmed my suspicions that this is a gross violation of disclosure procedure on Eli's part. Boo. ["For real, the best-kept secret about litigation is how incredibly boring it is and how very, very rare it is for anything to happen that isn't expected. If you want to see unpredictable things, go for pro se litigants. Trials involving warring attorneys are boring, choreographed dances." -- Miss Alli] Eli asks about the 911 call, and Brian hesitantly and unconvincingly says he dialed the number by mistake. Eli points out that that was the same night that he ran away from home, and after the judge instructs him to tell the truth, he says he called because he was hurt. Eli asks how that happened, and Brian stands and pulls up his shirt to reveal some bruises on his lower torso. Upon questioning, Brian says that his dad caused his injuries. What, no catchy song for this revelation?
Later, Eli asks Mrs. Swain why she didn't say anything, and she tells him she thought she was being paranoid, and didn't want to believe that "Robert" was capable of such a thing. Eli tells her that there will probably be a criminal investigation, but the good news is he's almost sure she'll get full custody. "I can't see that going any other way right now." Eli, you do know this is an hour show, right?
At the party, Taylor is rightly ripping a strip off Eli for his breach of ethics, but Eli tells her she's just mad because she found out her client is a bad guy. ["Ironically, I call bullshit on Eli's attempt at keeping it real. Between two lawyers with a personal relationship of trust, I think she actually would be more pissed off that he dicked her around with procedure than about her client being bad. Lawyers aren't this easily shocked regarding their clients turning out to be jerks." -- Miss Alli] They take a bitchery break to greet some guests, but as they walk past they get right back into it, with Eli saying that Robert is a child-beater, and Taylor telling him that she talked to Brian's football coach, and he sees three kids a week get bruises just like Brian's. Eli: "A twelve-year-old kid is a liar. That's your defense?" I'll admit I've heard less crazy ideas. Taylor points out that she knew this case would turn out to be a disaster for them, and then Eli reluctantly apologizes for blindsiding her with the phone records. She gives him a quick kiss and leads him toward the main party area.
Sometime later, a half-in-the-bag Nate is asking Eli if they're okay, and the response is a yes with a long, passive-aggressive addendum. Nate: "Okay, so long as you're not holding on to any resentment." Hee. That's the only indicated and the only acceptable response. I quite like Nate -- I hope he gets some character development beyond the aneurysm-related issues. At this point, Eli sees Beth arrive, and he wonders what she's doing there. Nate places her as the UCLA girl who deflowered his brother, and laughs, "Who didn't you invite?" Heh. Eli says he didn't invite her, and trails off as across the way, he gets a knowing look from a familiar sassy face. Beth comes over and happily greets Eli, saying that she was a little surprised to get the invitation. Eli asks about Ben, and Beth tells him he's great, and she got him into a new school. Beth then looks at Nate, and his toasty "So, you banged my brother" look is enough for Beth to ask if it's weird that she's there. Eli is all no, NO, and after another awkward pause, Nate introduces himself and says he's Eli's brother, and he's "the one who's not completely lame." Beth giggles, and Eli suggests that she and Nate dance, saying his bro has mad skillz (his words) on the dance floor. Nate: "Mad?" Beth: "Skillz!" Me: "Ha!" That was funny. They head off, and then Sassy Patti appears with a smile, saying she thought Eli should see what else is out there. Sassy Patti, he's a hugely successful lawyer who has no problem throwing money around and also fills out a suit like nobody's business. My guess is that he already has some idea of what's out there. After a little more sassiness, Sassy Patti heads off to her sassy corner. This episode is an improvement, but a lot of the main cast is severely underdeveloped, even for being three episodes in, and Sassy Patti is a prime example.
It's time for some speechmaking, but Taylor's mom is too happily overcome, so she hands off the microphone to Jordan, who talks about how happy and proud Taylor makes him, and how pleased he is that she's found someone who "appears to" make her feel similarly. Ouch, Jordan. Unfortunately, Eli starts hearing war sounds again at this moment...
...and after another look up, he's back by the soldier's side in the middle of a big battle. The guy tells him that they successfully took the ridge, but now they have to make it to the rally point. Eli: "Do you know George Michael? He usually just shows up and sings -- it's a whole lot safer!" Heh. Still, I'm glad we didn't hear "Father Figure" in this episode -- you can't dance to it, and besides, as I said last week, it's a really creepy song. The private tells Eli to make a run for it, which he does (seriously, Jonny Lee Miller runs like such a spaz, I can't even tell you)...
...and then Eli comes to, apparently having dived into a bunch of pastries, if the frosting all over his clothes is any indication. He doesn't attempt to cover by saying how they looked so delicious he couldn't wait, but I'm not really sure if that's a blessing or a crying shame. He looks at Taylor's parents, who regard him like he's some sort of alien, and then at Taylor, who appears not confused but simply down. The timing of Jordan's speech about happiness and pride now seems slightly unfortunate.
Eli, Taylor, and Nate return to Eli's apartment, with Nate hopefully asking, "Best engagement party ever?" Nate seems like the kind of guy whose pop-culture humor is several years behind the times, so good choice there. He then suggests to himself that he go make some coffee, and when he's gone, Eli apologizes to Taylor. She tells him not to, and asks if this was what it was like with his dad. Eli: "A little. I don't recall him diving into any pastries." On the other hand, no innocent walls got shot, so that's something, at least. Taylor sighs raggedly and says she should get back to her parents, since they're probably wondering what happened in the "emergency room." On the one hand, props to Taylor for her actual use of finger-quotes there. But on the other, this particular lie is not going to do any favors to the credibility of the imminent medical thumbs-up. Eli asks what exactly she told them, and she replies, "Commitment makes you faint. You wouldn't be the first guy." Eli has the particular sour look of someone who knows that this was the best available option, yet still can't stand looking like a douchebag. Taylor leaves, and when Nate returns, Eli asks if he's going to be the worst husband ever. He at least doesn't Chandler the pauses so it comes out, "Worst. Husband. Ever," so that's progress of a sort.
Nate jokes that he's pretty sure their dad locked up that particular title, and I know he's trying to lighten things up, but given that Eli has the exact same condition as their dad, this doesn't quite seem like the indicated play to make him feel better. Eli chooses not to notice this, though, in favor of asking why Nate thinks their mother stayed with him. Seems like it might not be a bad idea to ask her this directly, especially since Nate's answer is a lame "She loved him," but you can't have series regular status budgeted for every character. Nate then produces the paper Eli brought to him, and Eli can't believe he's going to sign off on his physical after what he just saw. If I were to successfully suspend my disbelief that Eli's own brother would be allowed to render a legally admissible medical opinion about him, I'd kind of like this development. It's selfish of Eli and short-sighted and indulgent of Nate, but that's the nature of good drama -- an exploration of how characters behave when their backs are against the wall. However, I might have preferred to see Nate make this decision sober, not that what he's doing isn't realistic as well. If I know my Berlanti, there will be consequences for this, and I'll be pissed if there aren't. But anyways, Nate says Eli isn't like their dad, and he's not going to let Eli become like him. "And to prove it, I'm going out on a limb with you." Eli does not look overjoyed...
...so it's no surprise when he shows up to see Chen again. It's the same night, although the windows seem to say otherwise, and Eli in no uncertain terms says that even though he doesn't want to, he's pretty sure that he needs to finish the flashback. One needle-tap later, his young self is opening the door to find his dad holding the just-fired gun. Ed seems out of the vision but still disoriented, and Eli, after observing the broken mirror, orders Ed to give him the gun. "You'll be in trouble." A little late for that, kid -- seven years bad luck is no small punishment. The sirens in the background are all the persuasion Ed needs, and he hands the gun to Eli with a "Good boy, son." At least he gave it to him with the handle pointing out. Safety first!
Eli comes to and tells Chen what he saw, and adds that he lied to everyone to protect his dad, even his mom. Chen: "You lied to protect him? That's not something a parent should ask any child to do, Eli!" Eli distantly says no one asked him to, and he didn't want to lose his dad. He's still not quite himself, Chen -- maybe an anvil dropped on his other foot? "It's too much responsibility for a child, Eli. To lie to the police." Much obliged. Jokes aside, the parallels in this episode are well-constructed, to the point where I'm willing to buy Eli's imminent logical leap...
...which is revealed as he shows up at Private Swain's door. He tells her that he thinks there's a strong chance that her husband and son are "perpetuating a fraud" on the court in order to get her discharged. He goes on that if it's the case, they couldn't be making a bigger mistake, as the D.A. is recommending criminal charges against Robert, and he could go to jail. However, Private Swain is aware of this -- she's in on the plan as well. Eli's aghast, but she tells him that the part about Brian falling apart is true (although it's not mentioned, it's implied that it's because of his worry about her) and she's explored every legal avenue to try to get a discharge, without avail. This vigorous pursuit put her in the position of knowing the Guard would be suspicious of any divorce-as-means-of-obtaining-custody play, so they had to make it look real, and when Brian banged himself up on his skateboard one day, the plan came to Robert. I wonder how many times since then Brian has biffed it half-piping to keep those bruises fresh. Eli's still shocked, saying that Brian committed perjury, and asking if Robert understands the sacrifice he's making. Private Swain: "The way he sees it, eventually he'll get out, but I may never come home!" And of course we all know that prison is a cakewalk for alleged child abusers. What bad could possibly happen? Eli doesn't mention the attorney-client privilege that's blocking him from exposing her, but he does say that he's still got a closing argument to give, and he can't knowingly lie to the court. She tells him that she still needs him to fight for her son and her family. He wordlessly heads for the door, but turns as he opens it to see Brian standing there with a heartbreakingly desperate look on his face. Eli's face is inscrutable as he leaves.
Taylor gives a short closing argument to the court, pointing out that the only evidence against Robert is "the emotional accusations of a very troubled boy," and that it's the responsibility of everyone involved in the process to help Brian. Unlikely to change anything, but probably about the best she could do, given the circumstances. Eli takes a few moments, still looking heavy with uncertainty both about the case in general and about how he's going to finesse his speech, and then he stands and tells the judge that Taylor is absolutely right -- Brian could be lying, and the only thing they know for sure is that Brian is in crisis, and has been since his mother "shipped off to a war without end." Eli goes on that whether Brian is being abused or he's lying, he still needs his mother, and regardless of what the judge may think about whether Private Swain should still be beholden to the military, she volunteered to join the Guard, but Brian didn't. I'm certainly not saying there weren't some problems with this storyline, but it's still night-and-day better than the treacly feelgoodness of the first two episodes. It's dramatically satisfying to see characters having to make hard choices, and heartening as far as the interest of the show goes to know that there are going to be real consequences and sacrifices for Eli in order to follow the path of the prophet. One of the best things about Joan Of Arcadia was the fact that Joan was flawed and often disobeyed God, and it wasn't because she was defiantly willful -- it was that doing good is in the eye of the beholder, and when the beholder is a human being, he's not always going to get it right.
All right, enough ruminating. Outside the courtroom, Eli finds Taylor and tells her that whatever happens, she's the best lawyer he knows. She's certainly the tallest lawyer he knows, as she's slouching against the wall and is still the Sam Winchester to his Dean. He starts to bring up the party, but she cuts off discussion of that subject, and then asks if "the craziness" isn't ever going to stop. He honestly says he doesn't know, which sounds like the start of acceptance, and then a court person comes out and tells them the judge has made a decision. They head back in...
...and then the judge unceremoniously hands custody to Private Swain. She adds that the court will advise the California Guard of the decision, and she expects that Private Swain will be discharged "with all deliberate speed." "Deliberate speed" sounds like the kind of contradiction in terms with which only a government agency could come up. ["Ha ha ha! Funny you should mention that -- so funny that I am totally telling this story. You are entirely right. A year after the Supreme Court decided Brown v. Board Of Education, in which it ruled that public schools had to be desegregated, it had to address, in a case called Brown II, just how quickly you had to desegregate them. Obviously, this was a hugely controversial issue, as areas with segregated schools badly wanted to be able to desegregate slowly -- so slowly, of course, that maybe they'd never actually have to do it. The Supreme Court was trying to present a united front and decide these incredibly contentious cases unanimously in order to avoid unrest and endless relitigating and so forth (Brown I had been unanimous), so the compromise that kept all nine justices on board was coming up with language stating that desegregation had to happen 'with all deliberate speed.' In other words, 'with all slow quickness.' So you are exactly, 100 percent right; it is a mealy-mouthed government term, though intentionally so, and it slowed the process of desegregation terribly for that reason. That's where that phrase comes from. Ta-da! That is totally worth the money I spent on my J.D." -- Miss Alli] Mother and son hug, but the moment gains gravity when two law-enforcement types appear and take Robert into custody. The timing seems convenient, but it is the catalyst for Eli and Taylor to exchange a long, unhappy look.
Eli comes in to see Jordan, who congratulates him on passing the physical, although he does semi-sardonically note that the examining physician's name is also Stone. "Small world." Is that...some kind of light irony? Because I'm pretty sure, as mentioned already, that Jordan could request another examination, and besides, has he not met Nate already? Maybe we're meant to feel that Jordan, unlike Tom Amandes, feels ambivalent about having subjected Eli to this move in the first place, but I'm not sure about that. Jordan tells Eli that he realizes it was "petty and wrong" of him to think that the removal of some of Eli's perks would snap him back to the person he used to be (I'm paraphrasing somewhat), and adds that whatever crisis he's going through will only marginally affect the firm, but will have larger repercussions as far as his daughter is concerned. Eli flatly says he loves Taylor, and would never do anything to hurt her. Jordan: "Look at that. Common ground." Heh. Jordan then lays it out: He wants to know, once and for all, if there's something really wrong with Eli, and if he finds out that Eli's answer isn't truthful, it will forever alter their relationship. He does not sound like he's kidding, but Eli, after taking a moment, says there's nothing wrong with him, "just like the form says," an addition that serves to show that he's in no position to sell Nate out now. With a note of defiance, he asks if they're done, as he has a bus to catch, and Jordan smiles briefly and acknowledges that the meeting is adjourned.
At home, Taylor is sorting through the multitude of gifts strewn about the living room, noting that they got "another" breadmaker. "What is it about us that says we love bread?" It's not the fact that you have the bodies of eighteen-year-olds, I'll tell you that. Taylor notes the look on Eli's face and asks if he has a guilty conscience. Eli tells her he still feels bad about the party, but Taylor asks him if it isn't because of the stunt Robert pulled. Eli sputters, but Taylor points out the tiptoeing nature of Eli's closing argument, saying that he didn't condemn Robert but merely the situation the family was in. She smiles, and then wonderingly brings up Brian's actions. "Can you imagine doing that for someone?" Not without a needle and a fake Chinese mystic, no. Eli, however, takes a long moment and says he did something like that for his dad once, and he used to wonder why Ed didn't just leave them in peace instead of making his family's lives suck so much. Taylor tells him he's not his dad. Eli: "I know. He stayed." He tells Taylor that he doesn't think he can do that to someone else, let alone a family, as Taylor gapes in shock at what she just walked into. She begs him not to do this, and asks straight-up if he loves her. His steely façade starting to crack, he tells her he does, but he can't put her through what Ed did to them. His voice breaks as he tells her he loves her too much for that, but she's not buying, and when he tells her that it's the right thing to do, she bitterly replies, "Yeah. Yeah, it sure feels right, doesn't it?" She leaves, and Eli puts a hand over his face. I think this was a little quick for an end-the-engagement conversation, but Natasha Henstridge is a regular, so I'm thinking their relationship isn't over. Meanwhile, I hope Sassy Patti's glee is tempered by the fact that she's the one that's going to have to return all those engagement gifts. See you time!