It's a Conspiracy!

S01E12

The NYPD has decided to cut ties with Sherlock Holmes, because Gregson does not approve of the way he was going to torture and murder Vinnie Jones in the last episode. But that just means that Holmes doesn't have anything else to occupy his time, so he tries going online to troll conspiracy-theory forums. This, of course, results in him going to the house of the moderator (don't do this, kids!) and finding him dead. So the police have to get dragged in after all.

While investigating the scene of the crime, Holmes grabs a tortoise. And in the terrarium, there's a high-tech listening device, which means that one of this guy's unlikely conspiracy theories is probably true! Holmes decides that it's one about "The Red Team," which is the belief that a US Army team came up with a brilliant theoretical plan for attacking New York. To prove his theory, he tracks down members of the team, and they turn out to have been killed in suspicious muggings or come down with convenient cases of Alzheimer's. Well, two of them did, anyway.

The remaining members of the team are tracked down by Holmes, and none of them are willing to talk. He does meet a friendly fellow named "Billy," who will neither confirm nor deny that he's involved with any security organizations. Billy is really an officer codenamed "Yossarian," but he dies right away. Holmes has all the remaining characters moved to a hotel, which immediately backfires when one of them turns out the be trying to kill the others to keep the secret plan from getting out. And he's got a hostage!

Holmes gets himself into the hostage situation, and he breaks things up by telling the bad guy all about the secret plan. We don't see it, so don't worry. Then Gregson punches Holmes in the stomach and lets him come back to consulting with the police. Which is great news for Holmes, but it ruins the excuse that Watson was using to keep staying with him although she's no longer being paid as a Sober Companion.

Holmes has covered his wall in Moriarty stuff. But the rest of the Brownstone is clean, which gives him an excuse to complain about Watson. He refocuses on his wall, which has an incongruous picture of Napoleon Bonaparte. This is a reference to Moriarty being "the Napoleon of Crime," you know. I like that even though this show isn't particularly interested in being faithful to the canonical Sherlock Holmes, it has a lot of references to Arthur Conan Doyle's stories.

Holmes has been asleep for two days, which has left him hungry, so he's cooking up several eggs in a wok as he explains that he likes to go on websites and stir up conspiracy theorists. He's going to claim that Washington, D.C., is moving to Omaha, which will soon be beachfront property because of global warming.

While Holmes is trolling people on the Internet, Watson is at therapy. She thinks Holmes is ready to deal with Irene. But her therapist wants to talk about how Watson is lying about her contract ending. And she's not being paid for her time, so she's dipping into her savings to support this lie. Watson gets a text from Holmes, but before she goes, she explains her logic: Holmes has been fired from the police, so if she can restore that relationship, she'll be able to quit with a free conscience. She's just sticking around until she can restore Holmes's normal situation. Honest!

Holmes welcomes Watson to the home of "Zapruder," the moderator of the conspiracy theory forum. His actual name is Len Pontecorvo, and the other people at the website feared the worst when he declined to get involved in a crazy argument. Like every apartment on this show, his place is huge and amazing. And Zapruder is hanging from a piece of exercise equipment (I think) with his pants around his ankles. This dead person is not particularly surprising.

Once the police are there, Bell is a little annoyed to be back with Holmes. He was under the impression that when Holmes was suspended from working with the police, he'd stop working with the police. Holmes points out that the belt around Zapruder's neck is bigger than the one he'd actually use on his waist, and that his index finger looks too hurt to buckle a belt around his own neck. He'd like Bell to have the Medical Examiner check the neck ligatures for evidence of murder. And to make it easy, Holmes has already texted the Medical Examiner. Bell is frustrated, but he'll allow it. Watson and Holmes go off to search the house. Watson wants to check out these neatly labeled binders over here, but Holmes already knows what's in all of them. There's also a tortoise in a terrarium. His name is Clyde. Holmes takes him because he's going to be abandoned and die. Also, he claims because he wants to have some turtle soup later. As he's taking Clyde out, he finds a secret electronic doojiggy in a rock. It's a bug, which means someone was listening in on the conspiracy nut.

By Montykins

Brownstone. Holmes has learned that the bug was not available to civilians. And there was spyware on the guy's laptop. This all seems to suggest that some governmental agency was keeping an eye on him, so maybe he was onto something. Holmes feels that all of Zapruder's ideas were nuts. Except this one, labeled "The Red Team"! The idea is that there's a series of war games with Green Teams (America) vs. Red Teams (in the role of evil foreigners), and all the results are public, except for the results of the 2009 game. Zapruder believed the 2009 Red Team uncovered a federal security hole that was then the subject of a cover-up. He located one member of the team: Martin Nagowski. And according to a newspaper article, he's dead. The headline is "Counterterrorism Expert Killed in Mugging." That's awfully specific for a headline. Zapruder's theory was that the mugging was staged. Watson thinks the government doesn't kill people, which Holmes thinks is silly. His plan is to identify the other members of the team and see what's up with them. Then he throws some lettuce in a desk drawer to feed Clyde.

Watson talks to Gregson at the police station. Gregson is still miffed that Holmes was going to torture Moran (Vinnie Jones, from last episode). He also doesn't think Holmes is really sorry. So he's not ready to let Holmes back into his consulting gig yet.

Holmes calls Watson to a long-term care facility in Queens. He's got Carlo Oneo, who he's convinced was on the Red Team. On a side note, I'm already sick of the phrase "Red Team." He's got early-onset Alzheimer's, even though there's no family history of it. A nurse lets them in to talk to the gentleman. He says he remembers nothing about the time just before he was admitted. Watson thinks he's having a microseizure, but the nurse dismisses this on the grounds that seizures don't happen to people with that sort of Alzheimer's. Out in the hallway, Holmes suggests a neurotoxin that mimics Alzheimer's. His conclusion: someone poisoned Carlo Oneo! So if the police will test for the neurotoxin, they can learn if he was targeted. Holmes calls Bell to tell him what he's learned so far. But Bell's not interested because they already arrested Gary Sullivan, a forum poster. And he's confessed!

By Montykins

Holmes is allowed to interrogate Gary Sullivan? I guess he is, because he's in the interrogation chamber asking questions. Gary says they had an argument over who staged the moon landing, since they both accepted that it was fake. I'm pretty sure the standard answer here is Stanley Kubrick. Duh. And then it turns out that he wasn't allowed to be in there, since Gregson barges in and hustles him out. Gregson wants him out of the building and gives him the standard "Thank you for your assistance" boilerplate when Holmes tries to tell him about his theories. Holmes decides that he doesn't need the NYPD's assistance anyway. But this is the end of the Zapruder angle.

Now Holmes and Watson are in a car. It's important that I set the scene for you. They're not driving anywhere; they're just sitting at the side of the road, staking out Zapruder's place. Holmes is making them listen to static on the radio which he claims to find relaxing. Anyway, the idea is that someone will come back to retrieve the bug. Holmes points out a cable van, which he can tell is fake. Watson suggests that he apologize to Gregson and get back in the NYPD's good graces, but Holmes knows that Gregson will be able to tell he's lying. He also points out that keeping him from working on murders is not in the public's interest. Then the cable guy comes out so they can follow him to his secret headquarters.

The cable guy's headquarters turns out to be a white room, which he gets into after typing on a security keypad. Holmes walks up to the pad, eyeballs it and holds up the bug to the camera that's to it. The door opens and they're in.

"Howdy!" says a friendly guy. He says they do market research there. The offices are all empty, but he claims it's been slow. He's very genial but also clearly lying. He asks, "So. Who are you guys, anyway?" Holmes answers, "My name is Sherlock Holmes. I am a temporarily suspended consultant for the NYPD. This is Joan Watson. She keeps me from doing heroin. And you would be?" "Bill." I loved everything about that exchange. Bill reveals nothing, but Holmes pushes forward with his list of the Red Team and their specialties. He suggests that the CIA (or the Army or the NSA, or whatever this group is) is killing the members of the 2009 Red Team. Bill asks why the army wouldn't just kill people back in 2009 if they wanted them dead. It's a fair question. Presumably the army's pretty good at killing people. Then he gives back the bug, claiming that he's never seen it before. As they leave Holmes tells Watson that he was watching Bill grind his teeth at certain times, so he got confirmation of specific Red Team members.

By Montykins

Bell calls Holmes. The tox screen came in and Holmes was right about the neurotoxin. They're bringing him in to consult on the case. So we cut to the police station, where they've also brought in a shabby guy named Walter McClenahan. Holmes brings him into an office, which is populated by the rest of the Red Team: Vina Mehta, Harold Dresden and Sheldon Frost. Holmes says they're all in danger. But they're not willing to talk about it because if they do, it's treason. Sheldon wants to leave, and then they all do. But Vina looks over her shoulder as she goes out. Holmes checks the trash can and finds a note reading "Army Intel Captain. Code name Yossarian. Find him."

Brownstone. Clyde is on his back, being used as a paperweight. Holmes recommends calling Clyde "it," since it'll make it easier to make soup. Also, he thinks Bill is Yossarian, based on some newspaper research he's done. The door buzzes. It's two serious-looking people, who would like to know if Holmes knows Colonel Tom Clark. No, but that turns out to be Bill! And he was shot dead last night, so it's time to ask some questions.

Okay, I don't know where we are now. It might be that empty white room from before, but all empty white rooms kind of look alike. Holmes is being interrogated about the coincidence involved in him bothering someone who got shot right after it. Holmes suggests that Carlo Oneo's poisoner probably killed Todd Clark, who he believes to have been the liaison of the Red Team. He tries to turn the interrogation around and ask his questioners where they were, but they want to take him in to Virginia. He points out that he has security cameras all over his house, so he's got an alibi.

Watson complains about the continued presence of security cameras, which she only found out about when she had to bring tapes to wherever Holmes was. But it kept him out of secret prison! Holmes blows a whistle as he tries to get a cab. They ignore him. Watson successfully hails one without a whistle. Holmes decides that it is now time to take the rest of the Red Team into protective custody.

Mr. McClenahan does not answer when the police knock on his door. And his home has a booby trap with lasers and string and a rifle. So when the door is opened it shoots!

By Montykins

...luckily, the shells were filled with rock salt, so it doesn't kill anyone. Bell shows Gregson all the weapons. There's a 9mm pistol, which could have been the one that killed Clark. Bell received a lot of texts from Holmes, most of which suggest that he knows what's going on. Bell answers the phone at "Found McClenahan!" but it's a lie Holmes used to trick him into answering the phone.

Gregson, Watson and Holmes walk in on Mr. Dresden. His wife has some ALS, which means he doesn't want to rush out the door to the secret hotel quite yet. He says he became friends with McClenahan after the Red Team experience. Dresden says that knowing a secret plan to destroy New York did things to them. It made him start going to church again. But it made McClenahan a little weird. According to Dresden, McClenahan thought someone was going to sell their secret, and he used to joke that it might as well be him. Watson thinks that he's killing people to drive up the price. Dresden says McClenahan has a bunker out in New Jersey. But Bell calls to report that he's dead in an alley instead.

When Holmes gets there to investigate the body, he notes that there are aquamarine fibers on McClenahan's body. A blanket covered his face, which is more care than any of the other victims got. To the hotel!

At the hotel. Dresden and his wife are accompanied by a detective. Said detective looks around for hidden assassins and gets whopped over the head by Dresden's pistol. Dresden carefully leaves his hotel room. He sees Vina Mehta and pulls out his gun. Then a policeman in the parking lot shoot at him, so he ducks back into his room. When Holmes gets there, he learns that Dresden has kept the detective as a hostage. He wants the rest of the surviving Red Team. Holmes wants to get in there to negotiate with his secret Holmes Knowledge. Gregson is reluctant, but he lets him in.

Dresden tends to the hostage and his wife. The phone rings and it's Holmes. He would like to be let in. He's unarmed.

Inside, Holmes takes off his scarf. Dresden keeps his pistol pointed at him. Holmes pokes at the minibar, but he can't have alcohol, so there's nothing interesting in there. Holmes says Dresden is clearly not interested in profit. According to Holmes's analysis, he's convinced the plan will get out, and it will result in hundreds of thousands of deaths. Clearly, he wants to kill everyone who knew about it, and he was taking his time to make it look like accidents. But when Holmes meddled, he had to speed up. But why did he wait two years to start? Dresden lowers the gun. He seems convinced that Holmes isn't here to overpower him, so now it's time for his tragic backstory. It was two years ago when his wife woke up and felt a twitching in her hand. Two years later, the ALS has progressed so much that all he can do is try to keep her from getting bedsores. He's been approached by potential buyers for the Red Team Plan. He spent days thinking about it when someone offered to help his wife. He believes everyone's got a weakness like that, and the only safe thing is to kill everyone with knowledge of the plan. And also, he can shoot Holmes, which will show he's serious and still leave him with one hostage. But Holmes says his premise is flawed because other people know about the plan, which was in a memo. Dresden assures him it was labeled "Eyes Only," but Holmes claims to have figured it out long ago. And he told a colleague. The secret's out. It's too late. Dresden considers this and then he points his gun at Holmes and tells him to tell him the plan. Was he bluffing?

By Montykins

Holmes and Dresden come out of the hotel room and Dresden is quickly taken into custody. Holmes admits to Gregson that he had to think quickly and pick the most likely plan, so he was mostly bluffing after all. Anyway, how about reconciling? Gregson's kind of busy with this crime scene, but he'll meet Holmes at a place called McNabb's in an hour.

McNabb's is a bar. Holmes says he's not supposed to be in these places. Then he awkwardly says he regrets that the urge for revenge got in the way of his ability to work with the police. Gregson has a pretty good speech about how Holmes won't let anyone work with him who isn't obsessed with him. He can't say no if Holmes wants to work cases, but he won't forget that Holmes was going to murder someone. He won't trust Holmes. Then he punches him in the stomach, tells him "welcome back," and leaves.

Brownstone kitchen. Holmes is eating something out of a bowl. It's soup. He doesn't really sound happy about being reinstated. Clyde is not in the soup; in fact, he's crawling adorably across the table.

Follow Monty on Twitter at @monty_ashley and read his blog, Mysterious Exhortations.