By Montykins
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.It looks like this is going to be one of those shows with a million different plotlines that each advance a tiny amount each episode, so I'm going to cover them one at a time. You can assume that each of these have a healthy dose of Darryl lurking about and smirking.
Kat and her estranged husband Raymond get back together, then break up again, then get back together when Darryl gives Raymond back his job as Head of Wicks. Raymond claims that the reason he threatened to take the kids away from Kat last episode was that he was in a bad mood after getting hit by a lightning bolt. Well, you try it and see what kind of mood you're in afterward!
Roxie keeps having visions about her new upstairs neighbor being a crazy creepy guy who's going to tie her up, stuff her in the trunk and roll her into a grave. She decides she's just imagining things because he doesn't have a telltale scar, but -- uh oh! -- he brands the scar into his skin at the end of the episode. Also, she lets Chad be an actual boyfriend, even though her husband just died, um, five years ago.
Joanna and Penny investigate Sebastian Hart, a mysterious millionaire with three young ladyfriends who died mysteriously 25 years ago, even though he's quite obviously the same person as Darryl Van Horne. One of his ladies was Bun, who's still in a coma, so they go bother another of them, who's played by Cybill Shepherd toting a shotgun.
Roxie's also dealing with Gus, the young hooligan who tried to rape Mia last episode. He smirks around the town for most of the episode until Roxie, Kat and Joanna all glare at him and he falls off a platform and strangles to death.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Because we might not have seen the first episode, we start with a ponderous voiceover telling us about how this is a tiny town with three women with magic powers. As it happens, I have seen the first episode, so I don't see any need to pay attention.
You know someone's up to no good when the first thing we see of him is his boot as he steps out of his vintage car. That's how we first saw Spike, I think. Oh, and you also know he's up to no good because he's got Roxie tied up in the trunk of his car. She screams for help, notices a brand on her kidnapper's stomach, and wakes up because this is one of her psychic visions. Or is it? (Yes. It is.)
Later, outside, Joanna enthuses to Kat about HarvestFest, which I believe is an upcoming harvest festival. I pick up on subtle clues like that. Aren't you lucky to have me here? There will be dancing and skits, which sounds horrifying. Joanna has made a turkey centerpiece, which both Kat and Roxie claim looks like a "vazhuzh". I'm not quite sure how a turkey can look like that (and don't email me pictures) but Joanna agrees with them and is mortified. Moving on with the plot, Kat is thinking of calling a divorce lawyer. Roxie approves of this, but Joanna objects, saying "He's also the father of her kids. Her five kids." Look, I watched the pilot. Do I need all this exposition?
The conversation turns to Roxie's dreams of Jamie, the guy who has her in the trunk in the vision. Joanna insists that it wasn't a psychic vision, and Roxie says that "all sorts of strange things" have been happening since Darryl Van Horne came to town. Kat thinks it's a leap to assume that Darryl has something to do with the strange things that have been happening. Well, I guess technically her earthquake and lightning bolt weren't as obviously magical as Roxie's and Joanna's, but still. My point is that it's going to get awfully tiring to have a character who resolutely denies that there's any magic going on when there's obviously magic going on constantly. And Darryl has all but handed them a business card saying "DARRYL VAN HORNE -- DEMON OR POSSIBLY THE DEVIL" on it. So I'd like to move past the part where we have to pretend there's a rational explanation for all this.
Just then! A shelf in Roxie's shop falls down. Kat doesn't think Roxie's psychic at all. And then they all see Jamie approaching the shop and Kat and Joanna are smitten by his floppy hair and British accent, and also his Johnny Depp-style facial hair. They poo-poo Roxie's worries about being killed by this guy and just swoon all over the place. It turns out he's renting the apartment above the store, so he'll be around a lot. And the only entrance to the apartment is through the inside of the shop, which seems like a bad idea.