Deb is living with Dexter since she and Quinn split, which means that Dex gets to witness her battle with fashion choices as the new Lieutenant. Meanwhile, Travis has chained the guy that he nailed with a rock in the last episode to the floor of an abandoned church. He tells the guy that he needs to repent to God for his sins. Don't we all. Travis screams at Nathan about not believing repentance. Poor Travis doesn’t even like doing any of this, but Edward James Olmos makes him continue. Nathan breaks free from a bolt in the floor and tries to escape but is stopped by a horse? Then, three horses are sent down a busy street carrying sewn-together puppet people consisting of wooden parts...and Nathan.
Near a crime scene, Angel spots a hot rod with a for sale sign that intrigues him. Quinn shows up late to the scene and there’s a girl with him who he kisses before getting out of the car. He’s clearly really sore about Deb. Quinn takes him aside and scolds him, but Quinn says that he and Deb split. He thinks she dumped him because she became Lieutenant. He also says that she stole Angel’s job, which he contests. Quinn says that Angel lets everyone walk all over him and then calls him Mrs. Laguerta (not even the decency to call him Mr. Laguerta), which almost gets him punched in the face.
The scene itself is for a prostitute who has been strangled. She shows signs that someone tried to pull her teeth out, which sparks something in Dexter. He goes home and looks through his old serial killer scrapbook, a thing that exists and I’m describing clinically. The Tooth Fairy used to kill prostitutes and pull out their teeth. Dexter is hoping to get his autograph. The Tooth Fairy was active in the '80s and from Oregon and would be very old now, so Dexter starts looking in retirement homes for this guy. He looks for residents that moved from Oregon and zeros in on one. He follows the guy onto a golf course and lies his way into playing a few rounds with the salty fellow. While he’s feeling the guy out, he gets a call from Brother Sam telling him that his car is ready. He makes plans to help the old guy, Walter, run errands the day. They stop at a storage space and the guy tells Dexter he can go. After Walter is gone, Dexter checks the space and finds a box of teeth. Walter realizes who Dexter is and tries to kill him, but Dexter wrecks his car (again) and flips the script. On his death bed, Walter says that when you’re too old to kill people, it makes life horrible and depressing. The guy mentions fame after death and his own son maybe being impressed by finding out he was the Tooth Fairy, so Dexter suffocates him to make the death look like a heart attack and disposes of the evidence linking him to the Tooth Fairy killings.
Sam invites Dexter to a beach party for his business and tells him that he can bring Harrison. The party doubles as a church service, which of course Dexter is reticent regarding.
Deb is getting used to her new job, though Laguerta keeps inserting herself and questioning Deb’s authority. At one point, Angel calls her while Laguerta is in her office and tells her to not let Maria shove anything down her throat. Masuka hits on his intern by showing her stored evidence from the Ice Truck Killer case, which the girl was apparently riveted by when it was in the news. Later, she steals the evidence AND goes out on a date with Masuka. Weird girl. In her first briefing, Laguerta undermines Deb by agreeing with Quinn about letting information out about the Snake Killer, even though doing so might jeopardize a future trial. Deb talks to Quinn later and tries to convince him that she didn’t turn down her proposal because of the promotion.
Previously: Dexter and Co. have a new killer and he put live snakes in somebody's gullet. Quinn proposed to Deb but she said no. He's not happy about that. Deb got offered the LT position instead of if going to Angel, but it appears that he's going to be a very good sport about the whole messy thing. Until he's not, I guess. Dexter zeroed in on Brother Sam, an ex-con that he planned on killing but discovered that the guy actually changed into a better person, which is not something he thought someone could do. Monsters with dark passengers might in fact be capable of change. Travis knocked a guy out on a jogging trail.
In slow-motion, we see a white toy horse being held by a baby hand doused in...blood? Nope, it's ketchup or jam or something. It is accompanied by the requisite creepy music-box, baby bed mobile lullaby music. I'm probably just projecting, but it feels like this is too often the opening. A dreamlike, shrouded view of some place where we're not sure where we are; pensive and vaguely comical score; then, the reveal -- hey, it's just breakfast! Fine, Dexter's a killer and he also lives a normal life so the juxtaposition is never really inappropriate, but cut the SLOW. We've seen all of this before. We know that a baby isn't covered in blood. I know it was only a few seconds, but I tire quickly now of the Dexter reveals. We simply know what's happening. Anyway, Jamie's trying to get Harrison to eat his breakfast and not play with the horse and he's apparently not having it. She kind of acts like she's wrestling a bear instead of a two-year old, but maybe he's super strong. Dexter VO's that, at Harrison's age, everything is important and has meaning, even a plastic horse. Deb storms out and says that it took her 20 minutes to decide what to wear. Dexter points out that she's merely wearing a jacket over her normal clothes. She says that she didn't want to overdo it. She still wants to look like herself, just "Lieutenant Me."
Both of them get a text at the same time. It's a crime scene, possible homicide. Deb says that she'll meet Dexter at the scene and he points out that Laguerta never came to crime scenes unless she knew the crimes were going to be high profile. She says that she's not Laguerta and he's like cool, sure. Then, she thinks further on it. It's her first day on the job. She should be at the station looking into the snakes killing, in her fucking office. Harrison gives a kiss on the head and tells him to have a good day and not to have any fruit roll-ups- they make him fart. Charmed. Harrison looks offended. As he's leaving, he wishes Deb luck and tells her that she's going to be great.
At the abandoned church/mission/etc. where Travis and Astral Eddie Olmos (amazing name for a boxer, I think) have been hanging out, the poor guy who Travis clubbed is kneeling, with his hands chained to the floor. He's struggling to get free and Travis walks in. The guy cries and asks why he's doing this to him. He begs to be let go, but Travis says that he's not going anywhere until he has repented for his sins. Is squatting not a sin? I do believe Travis and his imaginary friend are trespassing. Just thought I'd put that out there. Anyway, this poor guy on the ground starts apologizing for everything and Travis tells him, Nathan, that he needs to apologize to God and if he doesn't things will get much worse. Wow. Nathan. This is your final episode. I just know it.
Dexter arrives at a crime scene. There's a Trans Am nearby that Angel is salivating over. It's for sale! Angel! Get it! Dexter remembers that Smokey and The Bandit used to drive something similar. Angel says it was Burt Reynolds. Burt Reynolds should totally be on this show. He's from Florida too! The Dinner Theatre Killer. The season is written. I accept PayPal. Masuka interrupts them to tell them to come look at their dead body. It's a lady in a tight dress and a 24-pack of condoms in her...pocket? Well that's fashion forward to have a tight minidress with pockets. We're seeing her from the back but this lady does not have pockets. It would totally ruin the silhouette. I also recap Project Runway, so I know. I also know that this lady had a problem with her taste level and wore prints that evoke an LSD trip at the zoo. Dexter asks for help turning her over and Masuka remarks that she must've lost her gym membership because being dead isn't enough for her to escape the media's unrealistic body expectations. Angel says that Quinn is on his way. Masuka says that blunt force trauma or strangulation could have been the cause of death.
Suddenly, Quinn arrives in a hot rod red car driven by a sexy blonde who gives him a kiss before he gets out. Angel sees him and approaches him before he reaches the body. He asks him if he's crazy and reminds him that Deb is his girlfriend. News is not traveling fast, apparently. Quinn fills him in. He says that "Lieutenant Morgan" happened. Angel says it doesn't sound like Deb to dump him because she got a new job, but Quinn says it's the same Deb who stole his job. Ugh. He tells Quinn that Deb didn't steal his job, but Quinn says that his problem is that he's too nice and let's everyone walk over him. Angel says that's not true and Quinn calls him "Mrs. Laguerta." Damn! Angel grabs Quinn's shirt and gets ready to sock him one but stops himself because they have work to do. Dexter watches this display. Then, he notices that the victim's tooth is chipped. He wonders in VO if someone tried to rip it out and he seems sort of excited about that?
Deb is in her office when Maria pays her a visit. She tells her that she's about to have her first briefing, so she should scan some reports. Deb says that is on her list but first she needs to look at some resumes. Maria wonders what she's talking about and she says that she's interviewing prospective detectives to take her place. Maria goes behind her desk and thumbs through the resumes on her desk -- without being asked. Meanwhile, Angel is staring at the scene from his desk. She finds a guy from the Narcotics Unit and tells her that he's an up-and-comer. As well, his father is a district judge, which she says could come in handy. Deb says that she knows who he is, so Maria's just like "Great. Problem solved." Deb's not so sold though. She was looking at a really great cop from Chicago. Maria shuts her down and says that, with all that's on her plate, she shouldn't be dealing with a transfer situation. What the fuck does she care? Seriously, someone PLEASE answer for me, What does Maria Laguerta WANT? What does she want? Why is she here? There is nothing nuanced about her choices. Ever. She's one thing or the opposite thing. She's either breaking the rules because she's empathetic to Dexter's situation with Rita or she's all The Departed or whatever and putting the screws to people to get where she wants. Other than the occasional, "Wow, that person really hates me now. Guess that's life!"-reaction after a confrontation, you don't ever see her have any sort of battle within. But, she makes contradictory moves all of the time. I don't know what she wants. Ever. She's a completely different character from scene to scene. Deb gets a call with Maria in front of her. It's Angel. He tells her to not let Maria shove anything down her throat, unless she wants to have it happen all of the time. "Take it from Mrs. Laguerta." She doesn't reveal who it was when she hangs up. Maria tells her that she'll need to learn how to marshal her resources and she should take what help is offered her. She tells Deb to remember that they are in this together. Then, she leaves. But, didn't she tell Matthews that Deb was going to be a failure? Unless she expects the shit to roll down the hill to her if something goes wrong and she's covering her ass (which she hasn't made apparent), it doesn't make any sense for her to want to babysit Deb.
It's night and we see Dexter put Harrison to sleep. Then, he goes into a drawer and finds a composition book labeled "1979-1991." Oh how sweet. Lemme guess. More stuff that could be used to implicate our whip smart hero? One IRS audit and Dexter is going down. Harry is suddenly beside him and says that he remembers when he found that under Dexter's bed. He says he would have rather it been a stack of Playboy magazines. What about Playgirl? It was the scrapbook where he would track serial killers. Only certain ones, Dexter reminds Harry. Like the Tooth Fairy. He was apparently smart, which made Dexter drawn to him. They never caught him, even after he left a body on a deputy sheriff's lawn. He killed 15 women, all prostitutes. They were all dumped roadside, missing their lateral incisors. Ew. Harry asks him if he really thinks the Tooth Fairy was responsible for the death this morning. Dexter thinks that it exhibits signs of such and wonders if maybe the Fairy is trying to relive old times. Harry says that the killer would be 70 now. What would he be doing in Miami. Really? Dexter says that a lot of 70-year olds come to Miami. Because it's a center of Art Deco architecture. And, because they like neon.
We see Dexter drive up to a retirement home. He VO's that some (like Shakespeare) say that old age is like a second childhood. There are primary colors, tricycles and ball-chasing. His musings are paired with images of old people in bright colors, riding bikes that are tricycles (and I wasn't aware that was like a thing with blue hairs) and carrying golf clubs. He says that he barely made it through his first childhood and he guesses that no one makes it through the second. I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be like relentlessly negative, but... If you remove some of the elements that create the tone and leave only the text -- this is bullshit. Yeah, Dexter, people die when they're old. You had a shitty childhood and people die when they're old. What significance that observation has other than to dupe us as an audience into thinking that Dexter's experience is analogous with whatever the hell is going on at any moment, I don't know. This retirement home is very close to where the murder victim was found. He speaks to the lady at the information desk and says that he's thinking of moving his dad there. He wants to know if there are any other residents from Oregon (that's where the Tooth Fairy is from). As a matter of fact... He asks for a cup of coffee and, while the lady is getting it, he looks at the names of the people from Oregon. One's a lady and another is in a wheelchair, so the only existing candidate is Walter Kenney.
At the station lab, Masuka brings Ryan a reward for doing so well in her internship. She's immediately excited. It's evidence from the Ice Truck Killer case. She had mentioned that she had a minor obsession with the case. Hmm, pretty insensitive. What if Deb sees it? Doesn't he care that the Ice Truck Killer almost killed her? And was her FIANCE? Asshole move, Masuka. She's thrilled. She says it was really sweet of him. We see his hospital ID and a mannequin hand with different-colored finger nails. She says that, when the details of the case came out, she painted her nails like that for a week. Ew. She asks if he thinks that's wrong and he asks if it's wrong that it makes him hot. Hey. Guys? Let me answer for you. Yes to both. She tries to take the hand away from Masuka and he stops her and reminds her that it's time for the briefing.
Dex and Deb see each other in the hall. She says that she's been to lots and lots of briefings, why is she so nervous now? He says that it's because everyone will be watching her to see if she knows what she's doing. She suggests that he look up the word "rhetorical." Heh. She goes into the briefing and asks for updates about the murdered prostitute. Cocaine and donuts were found in her system. Been there, girl. Deb is talking about how they will proceed and Dex VO's that they'll never tie this to a quarter century-old case from Oregon, though he concedes that he hasn't really done that either (he doesn't mean the last part though -- you know he thinks he got him). Deb moves onto the snake killing and says that it appears that it may not be drug related. Angel says that Omar may actually have cleaned up his act, like Brother Sam said. Quinn suggests that they release some details of the case to see if anyone has any information about it. She hesitates because she doesn't want to make him feel bad, but Deb says no. That could compromise the case if it goes to court. Quinn says that it'll never go to court if they don't catch someone. Maria pipes in and says that Quinn has a point. They should leak information about the snakes to the press (who she thinks will "eat it up") and see if something shakes loose. As she says that it's true that there will never be a trial unless they get someone into custody, we see Quinn smirk. He's going to make it very easy for her to stop caring how he feels at all. As it is now, she looks like she's a little nonplussed that her briefing was so quickly sabotaged.
It's back at the church with Travis and poor Nathan. At least he's in a room that really does get beautiful light. Nathan's repenting and Travis is insisting that he needs to believe what he's saying. Nathan says he doesn't know what Travis wants and he says that he wants to hear him tell God that he's sorry. He gets a little bit calmer and tells God that he's sorry for anything he's ever done. Well, that was easy. See ya later, Nathan. There's the door. Travis puts his hand on his back, and then he leaves the room. Nathan screams to be let go, then he starts pulling on the chains in the floor. Eddie tells Travis that Nathan is telling him what he wants to hear. Travis asks how long it is until they make him suffer. It sounds like he's sad about having to make him suffer. Also, he's already suffering, Travis. Eddie, who is painting a mannequin head, tells Travis that he really has a good heart. But, there's more at stake than one man's suffering. He insists that Nathan must be pure before they can proceed.
Dexter "bumps into" an old guy on a golf course. It's Walter Kenney. He's a Grumpy Gus. Walter hangs back because he doesn't want to play with the other people from the old folks' home. Dexter says that his name is "Dan" and he's looking for someone to hit with and invites Walter to join him. Walter drives the golf course like a serial killer. He tells Dexter that the worst decision he ever made was moving to Florida. He's sick of old people and people who don't speak English. Even if this guy is not a killer, maybe Dexter could make an exception. He asks Dexter what he's doing at an old folks' home and he says that he's looking for a place for his dad. God, this guy is HORRIBLE. I feel like I need some Tums after spending 30 seconds with him. Dexter says that being with him is like being stuck in a toxic cloud. Also, he cheats. He swings and it throws his back out. Dexter gets him into the golf cart and he takes him back to the club bar.
They sit by the pool while Walter has a beer and some pills. He tells Dexter that he was a pipe fitter in Oregon. Shit job/good pension. Now, all he wants to do is play golf. Dexter suggests that, given the day's events, he pick up another hobby. Walter laments not being able to do what you love. Dexter VO's that he wonders if he's talking about golf or being able to rip out that prostitute's tooth. Seriously, that is a sentence I just never thought I'd write. Dexter VO's that Walter may be an asshole, but that doesn't make him a killer. Then, Walter says that maybe he gave up too soon. He's looking at the ass of a young lady working at the clubhouse. Then, Dex notices that he wears a dental implant where his lateral incisor should be. The same tooth that gets pulled out of the Tooth Fairy's victims. Hmm. He gets a call from Brother Sam telling him that his car is ready. Dex returns to the table and Walter is still salivating over that girl's butt. Dex pays for the beer and says that he has to pick up his car. Walter asks him to help him complete some errands the day, since his back has him incapacitated. Dex VO's that this actually makes it easier for him to find him when he needs to kill him.
Dex goes to pick up his car. He sees Nick, the guy that Sam was saving. Sam tells him that Nick is busting his ass and is off of drugs. Sam is proud of him. Sam invites Dexter to come to his church that Sunday. Dex says that he doesn't do church, so Sam suggests that he come to their company beach party instead. He even tells him to bring Harrison. They're going to have a beach barbecue baptism, which is, of course, also the name of the lost Annette Funicello film directed by Roman Polanski. Dex still feels like Sam's trying to get him to go to the church. Sam says he just thinks it would be nice for Dex to take a stand with someone whose life he helped turn around. Finding God isn't such a bad thing either, says Sam.
Dexter researches Walter and the only thing he finds is that he was a victim of child abuse at the hands of his mother. Deb comes in to vent. She's her ex-boyfriend's boss, she doesn't know what to do and she doesn't know who to hire -- she feels like a mess. Dex tells her to take a seat. She thinks she made a mistake taking the LT position. She feels like everyone (well, maybe just Laguerta, but that's a big one) is waiting for her to fail. Dex tells her that she's going to mess up -- it's only natural. She just needs to give it all a little more time. If she still hates the job in a few months, she can demote herself. He asks her how she's doing with the "Quinn of it." She says that she misses being with him, which Dexter doesn't seem to understand. She says that being with him was easy and it is one decision she knows she made correctly -- the breaking up part. She thanks Dex for talking her off a ledge and so he asks her for a raise. He says he's serious and I think he is. She suggests that he fuck off and die. He watches her and Harry is there and wonders if maybe Deb isn't cut out for LT. Dex says that there is very little that Deb isn't cut out for. Then, it's back to Walter's file. His mother was apparently arrested for repeatedly hitting him in the face in public.
The day, he goes to pick up Walter and is greeted by him at the door in his underwear. I don't think I need to describe that, do I? Just find the darkest place in your mind. There! You've got what we're watching. Dex says that Walter told him to be there at 9, but Walter says that he just needs a few seconds. Please take more than a few seconds. Dex looks around and finds the apartment really depressing. On a bookshelf, he sees a picture and Walter says that's his son. He gave him everything in life and now he can't get him on the phone. He asks Dex/Dan if he has kids and he says no, to which Walter says he's lucky. They're ungrateful little pricks that suck the life out of you then abandon you. Dex notices that Walter has completely alienated everyone in his life and is alone. Walter looks out the window and sees that resident has died and is being carted away. Walter chuckles and says that particular resident was dumb as a sack of dog shit, then tells Dan that there appears to be a space for his dad.
They go to the pharmacist and Walter tells Dex to pick it up for him. Once he's out of the car, Walter remembers something else. He needs a six-pack of beer and the latest issues of Teen Ass, Nipple Parade and Spanked. The majority of the creativity involved in this week's episode was funneled into the names of those three magazines. I think Nipple Parade is obviously the most inspired. Dex is disappointed that this is the man who inspired him to keep a scrapbook. We see Dexter ask the newsstand guy for the mags and he doesn't even seem embarrassed. Probably the whole godless thing that lends itself to being able to do that. And, killing lots of people. Walter says that some needs don't go away, even if the equipment is on life support. Dex VO's that he wonders if that's true of killing. One more stop. It's a storage facility. He gets out and tells Dexter that he'll take a bus home. Dex watches from afar and sees him enter a storage unit.
At the station, Angel is talking to Quinn about what they need in the case of the prostitute with pockets when Masuka arrives with Ryan. He says that they have the final forensics report on the snake killing. Deb is watching from her office and Quinn sees this, so he starts to flirt with Ryan. She says that she loves forensics and is fascinated by people who do bad things. Then, Quinn suggests like a leech that that's because she's got a little bad in her. She says that he may be right, but he'll never know. She walks away and Masuka chuckles and follows her.
Deb takes Quinn aside and asks him how he's doing. He says that he packed her stuff and put in the garage, to the "big bag of fertilizer." She replies that she knows he's pissed, but this hasn't been easy on her. Basically, Quinn thinks that she broke up with him because of her promotion. She says that's unfair and he says that there's a lot of that going around.
Back at the church, Nathan manages to pull the bolt out of the floor. He creeps out of the room where he is and is trying to sneak out when a fucking HORSE is there on its hind legs. Holy Equus. Then, he's caught again. Travis tells him that he needs to repent some more. Nathan gets really specific about his repenting this time. Eddie seems to think that he's ready. Poor guy.
Dex is still watching Walter. It had been two hours that he was at the facility. Dexter goes back and breaks in. He finds a box with teeth in it. Yes, Dex VO, it's like your box of slides. One interview and he found the Tooth Fairy. Dex wonders if being left with nothing but a box of whatever is what happens to serial killers at the end of their lives. I think it's usually lethal injection that happens, but go on, Dex.
That night, Dex decides to kill Kenney in his room. He gets a call from Walter who says that he got off of the bus at the wrong stop. He asks for him to pick him up. Easy! Walter tells him that he's a good kid. Then, he pulls a gun and tells Dex to keep driving. He wants to know how Dexter caught on to him. He knows who Dexter is, because he checked his auto registration, then "Goggled" his name. He says that, sure, he hasn't taken a decent shit in 10 years, but he's not stupid. He tells Dex that he might rip out all of his teeth before he kills him, so Dexter crashes his car.
Masuka and Ryan are working late and he asks her if she'd like to grab some Pho. She asks if that's a date and he says she doesn't have to call it that, but she wants to. He's surprised and she tells him that he should be confident. He's cute -- in the right light. Deb tells Maria that she's going with the transfer candidate for detective, not the guy who Maria chose. She tells Deb that she's worried about her judgment, but Deb says that she's going to trust her own gut. She tells Deb not to look to her to have her back if this doesn't work out. Anderson, the guy who Deb wants to hire, comes into the station. Deb approaches him and introduces herself. He says that he's not in the mood to be joked with, so she should get her boss and some coffee for him. AND, Maria hears all of this. She tells him that she put her ass on the line even considering him, so he needs to lose the attitude. He apologizes and she tells him that all of this is weird for her too.
At Walter's place, he's wrapped in plastic wrap on his recliner. Dex says that he could've lived out his life in peace if he hadn't gone after that last prostitute. Walter says that it took forever to kill her and he couldn't even get her tooth out. Dex says that, when he was in high school, the Tooth Fairy was all anybody could talk about. And, the cops couldn't catch him -- just like Burt Reynolds. That's a stretch, but sure. Dex can't believe that he was the same man who dumped a body on a policeman's lawn. Walter says that it was an accident. He was drunk and just couldn't wait to dump the body someplace else. This is disappointing to Dex. Dex gets some blood from a cut on Walter's cheek. Walter sees the connection between the tooth and blood collecting -- they're alike! Dexter says that he won't end up like Walter, but he says that he's kidding himself. All he ever cared about was killing and he can't even do that anymore. This is Dexter's future and includes adult diapers. This guy has lines! Dex says that he won't be staring at a bunch of old trophies. With Dex perched over him with a knife, Walter says to make sure that they know who he is. His son won't be able to ignore that. This makes Dex stop. He says he'd never want Harrison to know who he is. Then, he grabs a pillow. He says that Walter isn't going to die the Tooth Fairy. He's going to die as a sad old man of a heart attack. Then, he smothers him. I'm not sure how exactly that correlates with not wanting Harrison to know about him. Does he think that he's doing Walter's son a favor? That night, it's clear that he was helping save Walter's son the pain of knowing that his dad was a killer. He dumps the teeth at sea.
Dex VO's that we all want life to have meaning. There's Angel(?) driving a car past the ambulance carting Walter away? I think? I don't know. Then, there's Quinn anger fucking some girl. There's Ryan, stealing the mannequin hand from the Ice Truck Killer evidence pile. And, Dex tucks in Harrison. He wants his horsey. It's plastic and he lets him sleep with it. Isn't there danger that he could choke on that? He VO's that Walter wanted to pass on the ugliness that his life had become. He wonders what he will pass on. As he's putting his blood slide away, he knocks over the box and they all fall to the floor. Some breaking. All disorganized. He doesn't know who is who! There's no order anymore.
The day, three horses trot down the street towards some sort of fair. Mannequins are on the horses. Well, mannequin parts mixed with the body parts of poor Nathan. Yuck.
Jeff Long is a writer/performer in Brooklyn. He can be reached at jeff.long75@gmail.com or followed on Twitter at @jblong.