Fanning The Flames

S02E07

Wow, you guys. I mean, wow. Lots to talk about.

So, yeah. Dexter and Lila totally boinking like bunnies all throughout the episode? Yikes. Dexter going so far as to break into an empty house just for that purpose? A bit out of character, but I'll allow it.

You know who won't? Rita. She's clearly still pretty depressed about her breakup with our leading man, but at least some good comes of it: Dexter's absence allows her to see what a controlling beeyotch her mother actually is, and she basically kicks her right the fuck out of there after discovering that Mama's home school board fired her over a year ago.

On the work front, Dexter has sent a thirty-page manifesto to the department to throw them off his scent, and it works for a while, but everyone ends up bickering about what it means, and Lundy figures out that that's exactly what Dexter wants. Naturally, this also helps him conclude that the suspect most certainly has a law enforcement background. Speaking of Lundy and law enforcement, Deb totally breaks up with Gabe and tells Lundy how much she likes him. Then she kisses him. It's fuckin' on!

Also on the work front, Dexter sets Doakes up to look like a raging nutbar by telling him in confidence that the blood spatter at a crime scene is something that it's not, incriminating Dr. Creed from Pet Sematary as a teen-beater. Doakes keeps the guy for questioning while Dex finishes the blood report and hides it on Doakes's desk, making him look like an asshole. Doakes figures it out right away, and confronts Dexter in his lab. Dexter essentially calls Doakes his bitch and head-butts his face, then walks nonchalantly into the office where Doakes tackles him and beats his face in. Dexter plays an impeccable innocent, and LaGuerta immediately suspends Doakes on the spot, but I have a feeling this shit is far from over.

Hey, speaking of nutbars? Lila's totally one. She sells one of her "pieces" to some rich idiot, who shells out eighteen grand for one of her "sculptures," and then turns around and torches the thing, only to set her place on fire, too. Totally could've been avoided, methinks. Anyway, Dexter shows up to comfort her, and she does the whole "promise me you'll never leave me" thing, making me cringe and think she's nuts. I think we haven't seen all there is to see with her, and I'm pretty sure the season is going to end with her dead at Dexter's hands. That's not a spoiler, it's just a guess. As usual, don't email me. I know nothing.

But trust me, she will die.

Previously: Lundy seemed to be getting closer to discovering Dexter's true identity. Deb revealed to Doakes that Dexter's not in NA. Dexter asked Harry's friend Camilla if she could hook him up with the case file of his mother's crime scene. Doakes continued his harassment by listening in on the tape Dexter found of Harry and Laura Moser, so Dexter asked LaGuerta to file a formal complaint. LaGuerta confronted Doakes about it first, and it didn't go so well. Lila came to dinner at Rita's, and it went okay, but then later Lila left an overly detailed message on Dexter's machine about their road trip as Rita listened. Not cool! Rita called things off, sending a frustrated Dexter right into Lila's arms. And by "arms" I mean "vagina." Deb told Gabe how much she "respects" Lundy, and Gabe got jealous.

So, I have no idea what the title of this episode means. I Googled it, and it seems to be loosely taken from Where The Wild Things Are, which I guess makes some sense, but it still seems rather obscure to me. Whatevs.

We open with Dexter and Lila, who are fucking. Deliberately. Lila is giving Dexter direction: "Light, feathery strokes...perfect." Okay, it's official. This bitch has got to go. Ugh. I mean, it's important to know what you want in the sack, but to give such...irritating directions...I don't know. Not feelin' it. As the camera pans in on the pair, there are some interestingly spidery shadows on Dexter's back, and they share a big ol' orgasm. I can safely say that I never want to see Lila's O Face ever again. Don't get me wrong: she's very fetching, but this character is giving me the creeps, and not in a cool, Dexter-y way. Dexter falls to the side, and says, "You really know what you want, don't you?" Yeah, she does, and she'll manipulate the fuck out of you to get it. Wake up, bro! "I hope you don't mind," she replies. I do. Okay, I'll stop. For this paragraph. "No, I've always found instruction manuals quite useful," says Dex. "Okay, your turn. What do you want?" asks Lila. "I think that was it." "Come on. You must have some dark fantasies." Oh, brother. "I'm pretty good at acting on those." Heh, yeah. When you're with Rita, goddammit. "Then, fuck me like that." Gross. He does. Not awesome. Opposite of awesome.

As Lila sees Dexter out, he notices the light outside of her front door is burned out. Lila says it's the wiring, and that she's been asking the landlord to fix it for weeks. She takes off her shoe and breaks the light outside what I presume is her landlord's apartment. We get it. She gets what she wants. Bravo. "Now I can see better," says Dex, seemingly kind of disturbed. "Now he'll have to fix it," she replies, and sends Dex off with a kiss. "Got to admire Lila for taking things into her own hands," Dex VOs. Do I? "That includes me."

By Mr. Stupidhead

Rita's asleep, and Mama opens the curtains to get her up. "Come on, let's go! No more moping." Here's another one I could do without. "I'm not moping, I'm sleeping." "Oversleeping. Third time this week! The only way you're going to get over Dexter is if you take charge of your day." Okay, that's fair. Mama reminds Rita that she's not in high school anymore, and does her best to motivate her out of bed with the promise of oatmeal. Rita looks bummed, and I can't blame her. I mean, I feel like she's been a bit of a chore this season, but she's definitely preferable to Lila, that's for sure.

Dexter prepares some breakfast as Deb comes out, wiping the sleep from her eyes. "Didn't hear you come in last night," she says. "It was late. I was quiet." "Yeah, you're good at quiet. Guess you kind of have to be with me crashing here and Rita's mom over there. You and Rita fuck quiet, too?" Um, you're gross, Deb. That's your brother. "And she's off! Right out of the gate." Deb doesn't let it go, and discusses how she and Gabe "wake the goddamn dead." Great, dude. Is Dex sending any signals that he really wants to talk about this? No. "What kind of noises does Rita make?" Jesus, Deb! What are you, Masuka? I don't think Lundy would appreciate this kind of talk. Dexter doesn't, that's certain: "Can we not talk about sex? Or Rita?" "Why?" "We broke up. For real. It's over." Deb doesn't buy it: "You and Rita are forever. Just say you're sorry and send some fucking flowers!" "You're not hearing me." Deb says that when it all blows over, she'll spend some time at Gabe's and Dex can bang Rita at a volume he feels is suitable. What's with the obsession with copulatory amplitude, Deb? God.

Dex arrives at the station, and is instantly accosted by Angel. "The Miami Tribune received a 32-page manifesto in the mail. It's looking good for the Bay Harbor Butcher." "I've heard that before." Angel insists that it seems legit, because the manifesto "includes the names of three victims we never released to the press." "Wow, that is big news," says Dex with a slight smile. Angel's psyched, because Lundy put him in charge of the team that's going to investigate the matter. Dexter gives him a pat on the back as he heads out, and VOs, "[I'm psyched] too. I'm about to be published. I sent that manifesto to the Tribune. Guess I've been taking some clues from Lila lately." Like that's a good thing? Way to put yourself right in harm's way, dude. "Not just in bed." Gross. "I'm tired of reacting to the moves of Agent Lundy and his super-posse. Time to control their actions for a change." Yeah, we'll see about that. Not so sure I buy it.

By Mr. Stupidhead

Pool-side at a crime scene, Doakes is observing the corpse of a seemingly young woman whose face has been bashed pretty bad. She's laying in a pool of dark crimson blood. LaGuerta walks up, and Doakes informs her the body belongs to Betsy Court, aged 16. "Blunt force beating. It looks like she was sunning herself and never saw it coming." "Who called in the body?" asks LaGuerta. Doakes motions to Craig Wilson, the girl's stepfather, who's sitting across the pool, looking dazed. He's played by this guy, who most of us remember as Dr. Louis Creed from Pet Sematary. "Wilson told the reporting officer that he came home from lunch and found her that way." He turns to walk towards Wilson, and LaGuerta asks him if he and Dexter resolved their issues. "As far as I'm concerned," he says. "Why, the bitch come crying to you again?" "No, there's blood work to be done here, and if you can't control yourself, I need to call in another detective." Doakes says he won't do anything to "hurt the little girl's feelings," and LaGuerta gets more annoyed. "Goddammit, James, I'm not joking." "Do I look like I'm laughing?" "I wish you would! You used to!" Doakes denies ever having anything to do with humor or laughter, and LaGuerta cuts to chase, reminding Doakes that he's out of free passes: "I already stopped Dexter from filing a complaint against you once." She reminds him that he starts any more shit, she won't be held responsible for the fallout. He gives her shit for "backing a fucking freaktard," which...wow. He heads over to talk to Wilson, leaving Maria to look frustrated and helpless.

Dexter's getting his lunch out, and Camilla comes in, saying, "Where you been Dexter?" He greets her with a genuinely warm smile. "You don't bring me donuts anymore!" "You don't sing me love songs," he replies jokingly. "How are you, Camilla?" She responds that she's been better, and takes the seat that Dexter offers her. "Sergeant Doakes dropped by my file room yesterday." It seems that he requested the files for Laura Moser's murder, and she's freaked because she destroyed them on Harry's orders. She could get fired if she's found out, which would suck because she's thinking of retiring in a year. Apparently, she fed Doakes the same line of bullshit she did with Dex last season, telling him the file was boxed up in the basement of City Hall and could take a few days to drag up. "That made him real angry," she says heartbreakingly. "He scared me, Dexter." Aw, poor woman! Dex agrees: "That's not right. He shouldn't do that." He looks pretty railed. Camilla says she always assumed Harry asked her to destroy the files to protect Dexter, and she doesn't want to know what it's all about. "I just don't want to get fired." "You won't lose your retirement. I won't let that happen," says Dex, obviously concerned for this nice woman. "I'll take care of this, you have my word." That seems enough to satisfy Camilla, and she touches Dexter's hand briefly and leaves without a word. "So much for threatening Doakes," Dex VOs. "He won't back off until he exposes the twisted branches of my family tree, from my father's indiscretions to my murderous brother to the root of all evil: me." Dexter packs up his field kit and closes it with a loud bang.

Lundy's listening to So What by Miles Davis in the task force meeting room, and Deb comes in and asks why he isn't at the Tribune. "What for? The guy's not going to leave DNA evidence on a document." "Ah, but the thrill of the hunt!" "I've had that particular thrill. I'll leave it to younger men. Besides, it's easier to do my part from here." Deb wonders aloud what part he's referring to, and he says, "Operating on favors, political leanings, posturing. And trying to find the right music." "Right," says Deb, not getting what he means. She drops the marina reports on his desk, and, not paying attention, he stands up and looks closer at the board carrying a bunch of pictures of dismembered body parts. "These kills are precise, but there's also a fluidity, even some improvisation. If I could just find the music..." "Wanna borrow my iPod?" asks Deb, still not sure what he's talking about. "Got any Chopin?" he asks. Clearly she doesn't: "Fresh out of Chopin." "Shit. Chopin's perfect." "Did you just swear?" "What can I say? You're rubbing off on me, Morgan." Deb wonders aloud if this is how Lundy operates, and looks at him admiringly. "The truth speaks to me from a peaceful place. Gotta set the stage to hear it, you know what I mean?" "No. I thrive on chaos." Lundy turns up the jazz, and Deb says, "But this is good, too." Aw, they like each other. I know a few people who don't like their burgeoning relationship, but I do. I think it's sweet.

Back at the crime scene, Dexter's taking pictures of Mr. Wilson, whose arms are covered in blood. "I didn't kill her," he says pleadingly. "I was just trying to stop the blood." "No forceful impact spatter," VOs Dex. "He's telling the truth, I can tell." Dexter asks him to put his palms up, which he does. Wilson says Betsy was still breathing when he found her. "I wanted to help her. You believe me, right?" "I'm just a lab guy, Mr. Wilson. Sorry." Wilson looks sad and scared. Dex takes a couple more pictures of the guy's shirt, which has some more blood spatter on it. "Blood misting. Huh," Dex VOs. "I need to collect his shirt for evidence," he tells another forensics guy. Doakes walks up to talk to Dex. "The girl's mother was at work, and she isn't really defending her husband. Wilson and the stepdaughter fought all the time. Neighbors heard him yelling at her this morning, then he comes home for lunch...motive and opportunity. What'd the blood say?" "Well, the blood on his hands could've come from trying to help her, like he claims." A light goes on in Dexter's mind. "But, I did detect a blood mist on his shirt." "A blood mist?" asks Doakes, interested. "The kind that comes from beatin' on a teenage girl?" "No," he VOs. "Yes," he says. "You sure?" asks Doakes, acting more professional than I think I've ever seen. "It's too fine for a bludgeoning," Dex VOs. "The mist is from a bludgeoning," he says. I see what he's up to. Excellent. Or not. He could be making a huge mistake, fucking with Doakes like this. Doakes just wants a blood report as soon as possible. Dexter watches him make his way over to Wilson and get in his face, and VOs, "This is my chance to make Doakes go away without spilling a single drop of his blood. Of course, I have to sell an innocent man down the river. Sorry, Mr. Wilson, but I won't let you float too far." Two uniforms cuff Wilson and take him away, Doakes in tow.

As Dex packs up his minivan, his phone rings, and he answers, saying, "I was just thinking about you." Fuck. It's Lila. "I like the sound of that," she says. "I had to do some creative problem solving at someone else's expense." "Bravo!" "Yeah, I figured you'd like that." Lila tells him she just sold one of her "art" installations for a hefty sum, and she wants to celebrate. Dexter wonders if she's referring to the "cannibals," and she says that's not what they are. "How barbaric! Their eating is symbolic of the way we consume others to feed our needs." Kind of like...you? Anyway, Dex is down for some celebrating, and he says so as he watches Doakes load Wilson into the Police cruiser.

Down at some waterfront restaurant, Dexter and Lila arrive, dressed to the nines. The hostess tells them that she can't seat them without a reservation as the restaurant is filled to capacity. Dexter is about to say "fuck it," when Lila chimes in with some bullshit story about how this is the spot where Dexter proposed to her, and that it's their ten-year anniversary. She fidgets to quickly put her diamond ring on the right finger, and finishes her story by saying, "I looked down to find my diamond ring, sparkling under the water." But, the way she says it, with her irritating-ass accent, it sounds more like, "Spahkling unda tha wutah." Shut the fuck up, Lila. Man, the hatred is strong in me, today! Whatever, the hostess must be a fucking idiot, because she totally buys it and gets them a table.

As they wait for their food, Lila observes what a changed man Dexter is. "Well, changing." "I suppose." "There's no supposing about it, Dextah. You've taken control of your addiction in a way that few people do." Hey, speaking of addiction, wasn't she supposed to have been a meth addict? If that's the case, where are her rotting teeth? Her pockmarked skin? Her numerous scars from scratching the invisible bugs under her skin? Yeah, I don't know about it firsthand, but the internet's a remarkable thing, and if she's a former meth addict, I'll eat my fucking hat. I have a feeling her addiction is perhaps a more unsavory one, like our main man. Anyway, Lila continues to bring up the fact that they haven't even discussed Dex's recovery for a week. "I think you're right," he says. "And you haven't felt the need to use?" she asks. "Incredibly, no. I feel...you know, I'm finally in control of things again." "We call that warm, fuzzy feeling "The Pink Cloud." It's when an addict experiences acceptance for the first time." "You're saying it won't last?" "I'm saying you have to work it." She says she's sure he will, because "we've found a true substitute for your addiction." "What's that?" "Life." Oh, vomit. They share a long, bilious stare into each other's eyes, and kiss romantically. The manager comes out and brings them champagne on the house, for their anniversary. Lila makes a mock toast, and Dexter says, "Aren't we in recovery?" "This is just bubbles, we're not going to shoot it up, are we?" "You really have a way, you know that?" Dex observes. "A way of what?" "Getting whatever the hell you want." "Well, here's to ten more glorious years of whatever the hell I want." They clink. I puke my pants. Dude, I really can't explain how not okay I am with this pairing. I mean, I understand that now that Rita's not the delicate flower she once was, the writers need to reframe her relationship with Dexter, because her being "damaged" isn't going to cut it anymore. But really, I hope that Dexter comes to his senses and realizes what an insufferable hoser Lila is, because I'm getting to the point with her where I just want to, I don't know, set her on fire and put it out with an ice pick. Too far? Don't email me.

Over at Casa Rita, Cody is practicing his presentation on Saudi Arabia with Mama looking on. She keeps interrupting him to tell him to straighten his stance, make eye contact, blah blah. She also tries to infuse his performance with precociousness, something it most assuredly is not lacking, Preston Bailey. Cody continues to talk about the rainfall in Saudi Arabia, and scratches his nose. Mama instantly gets on his case: "You don't want people to think you're picking your nose!" "Like this?" he says, and shoves a finger way up there for a lark. Astor, who's doing her homework at the table in the back, sees this and giggles with Cody, and Mama's pissed. "Cody, you need to take this seriously." "Dexter said it should be fun." "Dexter does drugs. He's wrong." If that's not a yearbook quote, I don't know what is. Astor announces that she's finished her homework, and Mama wheels around: "For the week?" Ouch! Damn, beeyotch! Astor looks annoyed, but is saved when Rita comes in the door. The kids run over to her, obviously thankful for her presence and the relief from evil Granny. They both hug her strongly, and Rita seems happy: "Wow, what a greeting!" Mama, not feeling loved, tells the kids to go get ready for bed. "Really, mom? I just got home." "They need their rest." Astor gives her a totally awesome hate glare before she and Cody break off to go brush their teeth. Once they're gone, Mama tells Rita what great progress she thinks they're making. "Progress?" says Rita, giving her a sideways glance. "Towards what?" "Their full potential!" Rita lets out a groan. "Mom, I know you're really good at these things, but now that you're here, have you thought about applying for a teaching job?" Mama tells her she has no plans to return to the school system, and that she intends Astor and Cody to be the "beneficiaries of all I have to offer." Rita seems less-than-pleased. Can't blame her. This spells trouble unless she nips this in the bud. Do it, Rita! Nip it!

At the station, Lundy's telling the team about an injunction he got to stop the Tribune from publishing the manifesto, but that it's only temporary. "At least we'll have some time to get a jump on things before the news frenzy hits. So, let's take advantage of this window." Lundy says that for the forty-eight hours, they're all going to try and make sense of the convoluted document before them. Angel speaks up, and asserts that there are a "lot of literary references in this document." "How do you know?" asks Masuka. Shut up, dude, let the man talk. "I like to read books." "What kind of books?" "All kinds. Who cares?" Hee! Angel's the shit. "Anyway," he continues, "I see lots of references, like this one: 'You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.'" Masuka, always the killjoy, chimes in: "He's a Trekker! That shit's straight from Deep Space Nine!" "What? Mark Twain said that!" Go, Angel! "Twain was never on Deep Space Nine," says some random woman who's standing in the room. She looks like a Fed. "He was on Generation." Oh, Jesus. You're not helping, lady! Lundy corrects her by telling her the quote is actually from A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur's Court, and Angel looks satisfied that Lundy's got his back. "Angel, what other literary quotes are in that manifesto?" asks Lundy. Angel gets to it.

Over at the gym, Deb and Gabe are running side by side, and Gabe is talking to Deb about some boxing student, even though she has her iPod earbuds in and is clearly not in the mood to talk. As the camera pans in on her, a tinkling piano slowly creeps up in the score. I'm going to guess that it's Chopin. Deb seems to be entranced as she runs, and after about ten seconds, Gabe grabs one of her earbuds out, jolting her back to reality. "What the fuck!" "Did you hear what I said? I was going to hit the showers, I'll meet you back here in ten minutes." "Okay, yeah, ten minutes." She seems really annoyed, but she puts the earbuds back in, anyway.

Later on, Deb returns to Dex's place, where it's totally dark. She heads over to the living room and puts her stuff down, and hear a door opening. Deb looks over to the kitchen, where a bare-titted Lila is looking in the fridge, presumably for a drink of some kind. "Who the fuck are you?" asks Deb incredulously. "Uh, hi!" says Lila, not bothering at first to cover up. "I'm Lila. Oh, pardon my tits. We thought you were crashing at your boyfriend's tonight?" "We? We who?" "Dexter and I." Man, this is awkward. Deb tells her to wait where she is for a minute, and walks into the bedroom, where Dex is lying bare-chested under the covers, surrounded by candles. "Who's the skank?" Hee! Nice. "Deb, did knocking occur to you?" "Who is she? And, are you trying to fuck her, or set her on fire?" Please set her on fire, dude. Please. "Hey, I didn't do this to you when you were ridin' square-jaw guy with the handcuffs." Hee! Deb says that was different, as she wasn't cheating on anyone. "How can you do this Rita, not to mention her kids! You're, like, their father!" Dexter explains, again, that Rita broke up with him. "You fucked up, Dex. Big time." She passes Lila on the way out the door, and goes, "Ew, excuse me," while trying to avoid touching her. It's hilarious. Lila, holding a water, says, "Don't worry, she just needs some time to adjust, that's all." Yeah, I don't think so. We've all had about a month to adjust to your smarmy face, and the time has healed nothing. Hate. Dex looks a bit vacant.

At the station, Doakes is explaining to LaGuerta that the officers he had at Wilson' house found nothing in terms of evidence, and LaGuerta is shocked to hear that Wilson is still in custody, and is in one of the interrogation rooms. "Why didn't his lawyer post bond?" "Well, he tried, but I pulled in a favor at the courthouse and got a bail enhancement, so they had to start the paperwork all over again. I'm gonna break that cocksucker today." LaGuerta asks again what evidence they have on the guy, and Doakes recounts that he was dripping in blood and home alone with the victim after fighting with her all morning. "All circumstantial," says Maria. Doakes tells her Dexter's lie about the blood spatter being from blunt force trauma, and she obviously wants to see the blood report. "You'll see it as soon as I do. If you're looking for me, I'll be questioning the suspect." She looks worried, and rightfully so. He's a loose cannon, that one.

Dexter walks into the office, and looks into the BHB task force room, where Masuka is gesturing in slow-motion. "They're still playing my tune," Dex VOs. "It's like I'm conducting a final symphony. Requiem For Demonic Dexter." He walks over to the interrogation room monitor, where Doakes is blasting his finger into Wilson's face. "And forming the entire brass section, Sergeant James Doakes. When I reach the end, maybe I can lay to rest the monster formally known as Dexter." I don't think the suits at Showtime would like that very much, bro. "Just hang in there, Mr. Wilson." Yeah, poor guy. I'd be so freaked out. Dexter walks over to Doakes's desk. After looking around, he places his blood report in his inbox, but under a bunch of other files to make it look like it's been there for a while.

In the BHB room, Masuka says, "I've asked a psycholinguist at MIT to analyze our manifesto." Apparently, the guy's computer is able to look at punctuation, misspellings, and sentence structure to create a profile of the killer, and it all sounds very suspect. "Sounds...complicated," says Lundy. "Stay on it." Heh, yeah, anything to keep Masuka out of your face. Lundy then tells everyone to break for lunch, which they do, except for Deb. "Are you alright?" asks Lundy. She says she is. "Anything you want to talk about?" "It's my brother," she offers. She explains that she's upset that and Rita broke up and now he's banging Britty McShit. "I'm just pissed at Dexter. And my boyfriend, who's done nothing wrong, but every time he opened his mouth last night, I just wanted to fuckin' slap him!" "You've been listening to Chopin." "Yeah, I downloaded Nocturne #2 in E-Flat Major," she says. Trust me, you've heard it. It's his most overused pieces. "One of my favorites," says Lundy. Pssh, poser. "It can have this effect on people. It can stir up some dust." "No shit," Deb says with a smile, and leaves. Lundy looks as though he hates to see her go, but loves to watch her walk away, if you know what I mean.

Back in the office, LaGuerta is watching Wilson try to convince Doakes that "Just because you say it doesn't make it true." She looks concerned, and Dexter comes in and says, "Why are we questioning that guy?" "He's a murder suspect." "No, he's not. He's innocent." "What did you say?" "My blood report backed his story. Mr. Wilson found his stepdaughter dead, just like I told Sergeant Doakes at the crime scene." Maria can't believe her ears, and asks when Dexter turned his report in. "Some point before I went home last night. I put it right on the Sergeant's desk, just like he asked. Green folder." LaGuerta goes over and fishes the folder out as Dexter explains that the blood mist was exhaled from the daughter when Wilson tried to revive her. LaGuerta, to be sure, asks if some of the blood couldn't have come from a beating, and Dexter explains that Wilson would have been covered head to toe in that case. Maria heads into the interrogation room, where she tells Wilson he's free to go. "What the hell? Lieutenant, this man is a killer!" says Doakes, offended. "This man has been through enough for one day." She tells Wilson where he can pick up his stuff, and he takes off, but not before giving Doakes a harsh look. Outside, Dexter watches. Doakes immediately starts beefing with LaGuerta, who asks if he even checked the blood report. "I didn't get the blood report!" "It's on your desk, and it exonerates your suspect! We should be out there looking for the real killer!" "Maria, that is not what he told me at --" Yup, there it is. Think about it, Doakes. Think real hard. "Muthafucka. He's good." "Who?" "Morgan. He planned this whole thing. Maria, that psychopath set me up!" Naturally, this only reinforces LaGuerta's idea of Doakes totally harassing Dex, and tells him so. As Dexter watches, Maria laces into Doakes, telling him how this has "nothing to do with Dexter, but everything to do with the poor judgment you've been showing for months..." Excellent. I hope this doesn't backfire, man.

At Gabe's, Deb is in bed with her iPod, listening to the same song again. Gabe asks if she wants to work out, and she says no. "I wasn't talking about the gym," he says suggestively, and moves in to kiss her neck. "I'm really not in the mood." "So, what do you want to do?" She takes out the earbuds, and says, "I think I want to break up." "For real?" "Yeah, is that okay?" "No," he says, visibly hurt. Poor guy. That's rough. "No, it's not okay. Fuck, what did I do, Deb?" She tells him he didn't do anything, "swear to God. You're smokin' hot, and fun, and soulful, and...age appropriate." Hee! Wonder where this is going. "Look, sometimes the truth speaks from a peaceful place. It's taken me a long time to find that place, but I think I have, and it's tellin' me you're not the right one for me." He looks really hurt, and Deb says she's sorry, but I don't think it helps at all.

Dex and Lila are taking a walk, and she comments on what a nice neighborhood he lives in. "I never noticed. I'm usually driving by at thirty-five miles an hour. Not a real big walker." Lila says some boring shit about how everyone walks in London, like, fucking duh. "How far are we walking?" Dex asks, snippily. "Well, you're grumpy!" She asks what's wrong, and he says he honestly couldn't say. "I mean, thanks to you, things are actually lookin' up. People at work who've been after me, I think I have them under control." "So, why the grouchiness? Is it because your sister thinks I'm a little trollop?" Dexter explains that it's not just Deb, but the "suddenness of all of this. Losing Rita, the kids. They've been the only things keeping me...human, for a long time." Lila looks exasperated, which alone makes me want to see a plane land on her stupid face. Here comes the manipulation: "Were they keeping you human, though? Or were they the ones making you feel like the monster that you were talking about?" "Keep going," says Dex. Dude, I honestly don't think...forget it. You're obviously thinking with your prick, for a change, so I guess you're just going to gobble this up. "Your friends and family have to accept you for who you're evolving into now that you're clean." "Is that what I am? 'Clean'? I don't feel that way at all." "No, you certainly don't," she says, indicating that she's in the mood for some boneration in her separation. Across the nation. Or at the station? Sorry. Dexter picks up on this, and the minute-and-a-half of the program is so wrong that I'm just going to recap it quickly. Dexter picks a lock of a vacant house, and they break in and boff. So weak! When they're done, Lila hangs out in the owner's nightgown, and Dexter tells her not to push it. Too little, too late, my friend. His phone rings, and it's Cody. "Hi, Dexter." "Cody?" "Can you come to my school tomorrow?" Oh, the poor kid is sitting all alone in a corner, obviously hiding from evil granny. "What's at your school, buddy?" Cody says he's doing his cultural report, and that he really wants Dexter to watch him because he's scared. Okay, Preston Bailey, you win this round. Despite his bowl-cut, I find him pretty convincing in this scene, not overly precocious at all. Unfortunately, he gets caught by Mama who grabs the phone from him and asks, "Who is this?" "Dexter." She just hangs up the phone. Bitch. Cody looks sad as Dexter realizes he's been hung up on. Lila asks who it was, and Dexter tells her. "Poor kid. He doesn't understand that you've gone." Shut your facehole, Lila. Dude, I really hate her now. She's keeping Dexter from killing people, and it's making me sad. Plus, she's a manipulative twat of the highest order, which makes it not even fun to look at her anymore. Time was I could appreciate her hotness while still being irritated by her, but now I just want her fuck off, seriously. Not pleased over here. "I think I'll go," says Dexter. "Whatever you think's best," says Lila, obviously not meaning it. Wonder what kind of attention-getting ploy she has up her sleeve. I really hope she ends of wearing one of Dexter's knives as a hat sometime soon.

Rita gets home from work, and announces her presence Ricky Ricardo-style. Nobody answers. "Hello?" Mama comes out and announces the kids are in bed. "Why so early?" "Cody is being punished for sneaking away to make a phone call without permission. Astor joined him in a misguided show of support." Aw, that's cute. I like Astor. "Who was Cody calling?" asks Rita. "Dexter," she replies with gravity. "The boy was trying to invite him to his school. Can you imagine?" Rita appears displeased, and I don't think it's with Cody. "Mom, we need to have a talk," she says, sitting. "I made a phone call of my own today. Spoke with Aunt Cecilia. She told me the school district fired you almost a year ago." Mama tries to chalk it up to "philosophical differences," because of what she sees as the deterioration of the school system, which I happen to agree with, but whatevs. "School should be life itself, not a preparation for living. Do you know that they give trophies to every child now, whether they win or lose?" "You know, I finally get it," says Rita. "Took me a few decades, but it's not just me. Nobody can deal with you! You don't leave room for anybody else to exist!" Yes, Rita! Do it! Take her down a peg! Mama tried to turn it around on Rita, bringing up Paul and Dexter, and how she thinks Rita is "passing along the torch" of mediocrity to her children. "Shut the fuck up," says Rita, which...awesome. "Nobody talks about my kids that way." "That a girl. That's what I've been waiting to see." "You know what? I'm done with you." "No you're not! You go ahead, you give me hell!" "No, I won't let you turn me into...you." Rita tells her to pack her bags and get dafuggout. "You'll come and visit us for birthdays and holidays, but you're not going to live with us, anymore." Nice moves, Rita!

At the station the morning, Angel's reading some more of the manifesto to Dexter and thinks it points to narcissistic personality disorder. "I think you're on to something, Angel," Dexter says proudly. "To tell you the truth, I don't know what my altar ego had in mind when he wrote that crap," he VOs. "I just pulled from various blogs on the internet, mixed and matched. Presto manifesto." He walks into his lab, where Doakes is waiting. "You finally decided to fight back," he says with the hint of a smile on his lips. Dexter meets his eyes. "I've been waitin'." "I hope you don't expect me to comment on that, so you can record it on your hidden tape recorder. I wasn't born yesterday." "You might have been, for all I know," says Doakes, and I'm not sure what he's getting at aside from being a prick. "Your past is a bigger mystery than fucking Jimmy Hoffa." Oh, I get it. "I've tried every avenue, legal and otherwise, but there ain't no paper trail on the early years of Dexter Morgan." Dexter looks around, and says, "I guess there's no recorder running after all." "No, man, unlike you, I do everything out in the open." Dexter sighs, and quietly says, "Well, in that case, Sergeant, let me put this out in the open for you: No matter what you try, no matter when, no matter how hard you work, I'll always be a step ahead of you for one simple reason." "And, what's that?" asks Doakes. "I own you," says Dex, and then he does something so fucking sweet and awesome and amazing that I've totally been waiting for all this time that I can barely contain my fucking squeals of delight: he head-butts the shit out of Doakes's face, literally sending him flying backwards onto the floor. Whoever does sound design on this show is getting serious props from me right now, because the sound it makes when Dexter's forehead connects with Doakes's is truly astounding and ridiculous. Anyway, Dexter coolly steps out of the lab as though nothing has happened, and he walks into the office, knowing full well that Doakes is going to follow him and attack (well, once he picks up all the pieces of his decimated nose and reapplies them to his face). Once he reaches Angel's area, Doakes runs out and grabs him, then slams his head on the side of the desk. He starts pounding Dexter, who is playing the unwitting victim to a T. After a few heavy pounds, Angel and another officer are able to restrain Doakes, and LaGuerta comes out and demands his gun and badge, putting him on administrative leave pending an investigation. Ooh, an investigation? Might not be so great for Dexter. Doakes is escorted out, and wears a pretty pissed face as the elevator doors close in front of him. Yikes, dude. Angel asks what happened, and Dexter plays dumb. "That guy's always had it out for me."

Deb and Lundy are at the Tribune, where Lundy is promising some high-ups that he'll drop the injunction, "which will save us days of courtroom arguments and a boatload of legal fees," if they can agree to some "simple ground rules" on how they will go about publishing the manifesto.

Once outside, Deb is gushing at how well Lundy handled the situation. Apparently, he was able to convince the Tribune that they shouldn't publish the victim's names, and that they should run it on page three. "No sense hyping it. It might just inspire the killer to greater heights," he says. Deb drags him over to a bench by the water, saying, "It's quiet here. Peaceful. It's a good spot." "For what?" "It's one o'clock!" He checks his watch, and says, "So it is." Time for lunch. Mmmmm, lunch. "I thought you didn't like the quiet, Morgan." "I didn't. I don't. When I'm alone and it's quiet, I get scared...shitless. Like, I start hearing what's really going on inside." "I see," he says with a smile. "So, if it's all the same to you, maybe I can just practice when you're around." "Okay." "Because, when you're around I kind of feel like I can deal with anything, you know? Like, what happened to me? I don't have to run from it, I don't have to jump into bed with some guy and hide there. You give me strength." Lundy looks ahead as though what she's saying is making him kind of sad, and I get the feeling he's thinking about his deceased wife. "I'm kind of opening up, here," says Deb, looking for a reaction. "What do you want me to say?" "I don't know. You're the fucking Zen master, figure it out!" After a moment, he squares off with her and says, "Morgan, I've got plaque in my arteries. I know the lyrics to elevator music. My hair isn't getting any thicker --" Deb cuts him off with a spontaneous kiss, and I think it's actually rather sweet. Obviously, there are some unrequited father issues going on here, but that's okay. It's about a million times more okay than Dexter and Lila, I know that much. Lundy kisses her back, no tongue, thank God. They pull apart, and he smiles and strokes her face tenderly, and they wordlessly tuck into their sandwiches. That was a sweet scene, and there hasn't been one like it in a while on this show.

Dexter's prepping Cody for his big presentation, and reminding him that "they're more frightened than you are." "No they're not!" "Are so! You're going to be staring at them the whole time! If one of those unsuspecting moms or dads does something embarrassing while you're up on stage --" "Like pick their nose?" "You're going to be the one who sees it!" Cody smiles and shakes his head, getting it. "Now that's power," says Dex. "Now, go have fun." He stands up as Cody heads back stage, and Astor calls him over: "We saved you a seat." He and Rita share a look.

Over at Lila's place, her wealthy benefactor hands her a check for eighteen grand, which I can't believe. Lila folds up the check and wears a sinister face. Weird.

Masuka is reading the results of the manifesto analysis, and the results are bizarre. "We're looking for a white male in his fifties. The killer has no girlfriends and considers himself a good Catholic." Angel stops him: "How can you tell all that by putting words in a computer." "I don't know, dude, it's science." Angel asserts his belief that his idea of the killer is that he's "pissed off at God, and that's why he kills people." This starts a huge clusterfuck argument and everyone starts yelling over each other. Lundy says, "This is what he wants." "What's that?" asks Deb. "Confusion. Chaos. It's what the killer wants. He's always been an intensely private figure, dispatching victims silently. Now he's suddenly a media whore? It doesn't make sense. He's making us chase our tails, you know what that means?" He goes to the dry-erase board and wipes it clean, then writes "Law Enforcement Background." Oh, fuck. "He knows how we work." "Yeah, but to suggest he's one of us?" asks Angel. "How can you be sure?" He's met with a blank stare.

Cody's giving his report, and Dexter's phone rings on vibrate. Of course, it's fucking Lila. Not wanting to be rude, Dexter silences the...vibration? "I'm a little bit confused," he VOs. "Lila is the one showing me how to take control, stop killing, get my life clean. But this is the first time since I went into recovery that I actually feel clean." On the other end, Lila hangs up her phone with a frown and tosses it aside. She grabs a blowtorch and starts putting some finishing touches on the piece she just sold. Wait, no those aren't finishing touches. She's just torching the fucking thing! The scene keeps cutting back and forth between Cody's presentation and Lila fucking up her livelihood.

So, she's addicted to arson, is that it? Weak sauce.

Back at the school, Dexter puts his arm around Astor lovingly, and Rita smiles faintly, clearly hoping something will come of this.

Okay, that is definitely not a controlled flame. Yikes. Whoa, okay, she's going for the chair, now. Hmm.

Cody finishes up. Everyone claps. He did a good job. Good for him.

Teddy bear. "Sculpture." It's all goin' down.

Dexter pretends to pick his nose at Cody, and they share a smile.

Could be a fire alarm...

...Could be a school bell. "I can't believe how calm you were up there," Rita tells Cody proudly. "You were like a professional talker," says Dexter. Cody asks Rita if Dexter can come with them to get ice cream, and she reluctantly says yes. "I wouldn't miss it," says Dex. "Maybe they'll have some delicious Saudi flavors, like sand, or oil." Heh, that's pretty funny. His phone rings again, and we all know who it is. She's got "bad news." Rita looks disappointed before he even gets off the phone, and it's too bad he feels like he has to go over to Lila's, because Rita's looking pretty tasty. And sane, because she's not an arsonist. Dexter apologizes when he gets off the phone and tries to not make it sound bad, but there's no way to, so he just says, "It's an emergency. There was a fire...at her place."

Dex arrives at Lila's, which is now totally burned to a crisp inside. There are still firemen lurking around, putting out embers. Finally, Dexter spots her, and she runs to him and hugs him, crying. "What happened?" "I was working on my piece with the blowtorch, and it just caught fire. I was so scared!" Don't care. They continue to embrace for a long while, not saying anything, and then Lila says, "Promise me that you won't leave me, that you won't go anywhere." Um, wow. Okay, as if there haven't already been a thousand red flags. She's implying that if he does leave, she'll hurt herself or others in some way, and that's always a really scary situation to be in, but if anyone can handle it, it's Dexter...or at least the fleshy patch of skin where Dexter used to be. He falls right into her manipulation, saying, "I'm not going anywhere," and she smiles, clearly satisfied with herself. Dex looks up, and notices aloud that Lila's light has been fixed, and a look of dawning understanding fixes itself upon his face.

Man, this chick really has to go. I'm missing the Rita-flavored salad days.

By Mr. Stupidhead

Over at Lila's place, her wealthy benefactor hands her a check for eighteen grand, which I can't believe. Lila folds up the check and wears a sinister face. Weird.