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The tension in Dexter's life is becoming palpable, as the BHB investigation starts getting ever closer to revealing that he's the real killer. Compounding Dexter's awareness of this is his realization of his mother's affair with Harry, as well as Special Agent Lundy taking a special interest in him, which Dexter misconstrues as suspicion (actually, Lundy's just sick of Masuka's "titty jokes").
Doakes brings up Dexter's involvement in NA with Deb, who says she has no clue what he's talking about. Naturally, Doakes gets suspicious of this, and gets back on Dex's ass, and his snooping leads him to the audio tape of Harry and Laura Moser. Dexter discovers him sticking his beak in, and tells him to "back the fuck off," and Doakes threatens him. Dexter wants to file an official complaint against him to LaGuerta, who wants to talk to Doakes first. She tells Dex to take the rest of the day off.
On the BHB case front, the surveillance footage from the Corral Cove Marina hasn't been reviewed yet, so Dexter has a small window in which he can get in and erase the files, which he's eventually able to do, but only because he pulls the fire alarm like a middle-school troublemaker. Also, it seems that the good folks of Miami are getting a little bit of "BHB fever," and there are some copycat killers popping up. One the main suspects piques Dexter's interest, and Dexter goes to his house to confirm that he really is just a copycat. When he discovers the guy actually is a killer, and not just a copycat, he kills the guy and leaves the bags for the cops to discover. Boy, he's losing it.
On the personal front, Rita's mom convinces everyone that Lila should come and have dinner. She puts on a good front, but almost lets slip her knowledge of how Dexter's mom died. Later, as Dex and Rita are making out at his house, Lila leaves a loud, overly- and unrealistically-detailed message about how she almost let slip about Laura Moser's murder and their road trip from last week. Rita gets upset, assuming Dexter boned her, and tells him "it's over." Of course, it's not really, but when Dexter's "on break" at LaGuerta's request, he goes to Lila to vent, and ends up porking her...while kind of choking her. It's…pretty hot. Anyway, when Rita finally gives Dex a chance to explain everything, he tells her about his mother and how she died, and then lies that he and Lila had separate rooms and that she was just there for "emotional support, as my sponsor." "So, you didn't have sex with her?" "No. Not that night." Yeah, so...see ya, Rita. Yikes. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously: Dexter discovered that Harry and Laura Moser knew each other before she got hacked to bits. Mama got Dexter to admit he was in NA. Doakes told LaGuerta that he was "fine" after shooting two guys in six months. Deb wanted to know if Lundy was trying to play dad. Dexter took a road trip with Lila, and decided to not tell Rita. Dexter's marina was put under surveillance because the algae led the cops there. Deb told Dex to consider moving his boat. Dex got to his boat to eliminate any blood trace, but there was a camera already in place.
"There's another shipment coming in tomorrow. Cocaine," says Laura Moser, the camera practically slapping her in the face. Seriously, you can see every downy hair on her upper lip. Harry wants to know how much, and she tells him it'll be around "three-hundred bricks, give or take." "Can you get your hands on some?" "No, Harry, that wasn't part of our agreement." Harry tells her he needs hard evidence, "otherwise, it's just your word against Estrada's." She looks worried, but Harry assures her that he'll protect her, which we all know he totally didn't. "You better," she says, and then, grabbing his hand, wonders if Harry wants to meet her later, presumably for boning. "Laura, the tape's still rolling." Not wanting to get caught, she leans in and whispers something unintelligible into Harry's ear, as we come out of Dexter's mind into his lab, where he's listening to the thirty-year-old tape. "What was that?" Dexter whispers as he rewinds the tape. "My mother, confidential informant. And mumbler. Whatever sweet nothings she had to whisper I probably don't want to hear. It seems my foster father and my biological mother were having an affair. It's bad enough I can't shake the visual, but the questions -- Did he blame himself for her death? Is that why he took me in? Did he love her? Or was he just using her? Was he using me? I always thought Harry's code was on-the-spot creative problem-solving, but maybe he planned for me to settle the score all along. It's times like this I wish I really were a drug-addict." Damn, dude. That's some pretty heavy ish, bro. Huh? What did I just say? No, that was you.
At Lila's house, Dexter is going off, spouting a thousand words a minute about his insecurities and Harry's rules. "I spent so much time trying to live up to his expectations because I thought he had my best interests in mind, but now --" "If you're gonna come over this late, the least you could do is bring me a coffee," says Lila, obviously disinterested in Dexter's tale of woe. Dex apologizes, and Lila heads over to the kitchen to fix herself some. "Truth is, Dex, is doesn't really matter why Harry did what he did. The result's the same. You have an addiction." "Do you think Harry made me what I am?" Lila explains that plenty of people go through shit in their lives that don't make them addicts. "Whatever Harry taught you led you down the wrong path." Dexter explains that he built everything in his life on what Harry told him: "My job, my girlfriend. It's all what Harry told me I needed." Lila asks Dexter what he thinks he needs. "I have no idea," he responds honestly. "Whatever's inside you is spattered all over that paper I took from your lab," she says, motioning to the now-framed blood spatter test paper. I totally want one of those. "Looks messy," says Dex. "Probably is. Look, Dexter. Everyone has a moment when they realize their value system is different from their parents'. Mine was in college, but maybe you're a late bloomer." "Lucky me," says Dex sarcastically, but Lila tells him that he is lucky, because now he can make some of his own decisions, and figure out exactly who he is for himself. He looks frightened and vulnerable, and the way he's lit makes him look like a little boy.
"I went to Lila for answers, but now all I have is more questions," Dex VOs as he arrives at the station the morning. "Who am I? What do I need? What do I want? Coffee, I really want a cup of coffee." In the break room, Doakes tells Dex he's late, and Deb says, "I fell asleep before you got home last night. Were you at Rita's?" Without a word, Dex just grabs a cup o' Joe and heads to his lab. "Your brother looks like shit," says Doakes. "Tell me about it." "I may be out of line with this, but did he fall off the wagon?" Oh, shit! "What wagon?" asks Deb, not knowing what the fuck Doakes is on about. "Only wagon Dexter's ever had is a Radio Flyer." "Your brother's a junkie...isn't he?" "Dexter?" laughs Deb. "Are you high? He's never even smoked a cigarette. I'm glad you've got some new material, though, 'cause, uh, 'freak' and 'psycho' were gettin' kinda tired." Heh, true. Doakes looks amazed. Just great. Now Doakes is going to be right back up in Dexter's face again. I knew this respite wouldn't last: Dexter being a junkie didn't just explain away all the good points Doakes made about him a few weeks ago, like how he's proficient in martial arts and how he dropped out of med school to do blood spatter. Like, who the fuck does that?
Masuka hops in the elevator with Lundy. "Agent Lundy," he says, nodding. "I heard a rumor that you're tracking all our internet activity. So, is it true? Because I can explain all that she-male stuff." Oh, Jesus, Vince. That's basically the look Lundy gives him before briskly stepping out of the elevator. "I need my team outside in five minutes," he announces as soon as he's on the floor. "Sounds important," observes LaGuerta, and Lundy replies, "Just got a major break in the investigation. Patrol called in. Found some guy saying he escaped the Bay Harbor Butcher. Claimed he was captured a couple hours ago." "Well, that's a neat trick, considering I was asleep. At least trying to sleep. This could be good news for me." "Morgan!" Lundy half-yells. Deb gets right up in his face, and he says he meant Dexter. "I'd like you to join us," he tells Dex. "Is there blood?" "Not that I'm aware of, no." "But what about Masuka?" Masuka, looking a little hurt, mentions that he is the lead forensics investigator. Lundy says his lab work is more pressing: "I need him to hold the fort down here at the station." "He totally saw the she-male stuff," Masuka says under his breath. "Whaddya say? I'll buy you lunch after," says Lundy. Dexter agrees, reluctantly, as Lundy mentions that he could use a fresh pair of eyes on the case. "I heard you have a knack for tracking serial killers." "I heard the same about you!" says Dex. "He also enjoys walks on the beach and foreign films," Deb says, bitterly. Deb, seriously, don't make me side with WhiteRabbit in wanting to smack you. "We've got a lot to talk about," Lundy tells Dexter ominously. Oh, criminy.
Dex pulls his minivan up to the train yard, and the "victim" is inside an ambulance, telling his story. "He knocked me out, and then when I woke up, I was tied up in that train car over there." "You said he used rope?" asks Lundy. "Dumb fuck. I stretched it out enough so that I could get my legs free and then busted out of there." Having watched all this, Dex VOs, "So that's the alleged victim of the Bay Harbor Butcher? But I've never seen him before in my life." Angel calls over to Dexter and motions for him to cross the police tape and come check out the scene. Angel says that Lundy wants him to check the train car for trace evidence. "Your spidey sense tingling, yet?" he asks. "We'll see when I get inside," says Dex. "Take your time in there," says Angel, suddenly very serious. "We've never been this close to this pendejo." Looking at Angel's hand on his shoulder, Dex VOs, "Closer than you think, amigo." Heh, true. Dexter takes a short tour around the train car, noticing the stuff that's already been tagged by forensics. "He may have borrowed my pseudonym, but this guy doesn't know the first thing about my techniques. Amateur."
Back with the "victim," Deb is asking him what made him think it was the BHB. "Well, he told me that the Bay Harbor Butcher's gonna clean up Miami. He said, 'You're gonna get what you deserve.'" "And what do you deserve, Mr. Henry?" asks Lundy. Mr. Henry goes on to explain that he just got out of the pen for knocking over old folks homes. Jeez, what a scum-bag. Deb asks if he ever killed anyone, and the guy says he once gave an old timer a heart attack. A skeptical Lundy tells Deb to keep an eye on this guy while he confers with Dexter. Deb, looking hurt (shut up, Deb), says, "Yeah, sure" as Lundy steps out.
"Killing tools left behind? I'd never be this careless," Dex VOs. "Whoever did this would never pass Harry's muster. Then again, neither would Harry. He lied about my past, he cheated on my foster mother with my biological mother. Maybe Lila's right: it's time for a new set of standards." "If you were the Bay Harbor Butcher, would you use a place like this?" Lundy asks Dexter. "Actually, yes," replies Dex. "Uh, location-wise, it's not a bad choice. It's quiet, remote. Could use an upgrade in the lighting department, but..." He turns around and starts taking out his photo equipment piece by piece, methodically placing each component in an organized fashion on the table. Lundy wonders aloud if Dexter thinks this is "our guy?" "Not exactly," says Dex, wheeling around. "From what I understand, the conditions in this space don't support his MO. It's filthy, for one thing." "Butcher's clean," says Lundy. "Orderly." Then, after watching Dexter organize his photo gear: "Some people would say compulsive." "Really, you think he's compulsive?" asks Dex. Lundy comments on the hatchet on the ground: "A hatchet is sloppy. The Butcher uses precise, surgical instruments." Dexter asks if the BHB is that predictable: "He uses different instruments every time, switches it up?" Lundy mentions that he never uses rope, only duct-tape and plastic wrap. "Plastic wrap? How can you tell?" "Depression patterns in the skin. Maybe the Butcher's having an identity crisis." "It's entirely possible," says Dex. Heh. "Not likely. My guess is we're looking for a vigilante inspired by the Butcher's principles. Bet he never thought he'd be a role-model." "I bet you're right," says Dex with a smile. Dex then asks if there are any new leads on the actual BHB, and Lundy says not yet, but he's hoping the marina surveillance will turn something new up. "Good news for all the cops who have boats at Corral Cove. You've got one, too, right?" Dexter flashed back on cleaning up his boat, and says, "Yeah, we've been needing a security upgrade for a long time, now." Lundy takes off without a word, and Dex VOs, "Has Lundy seen me on the tape? Is that why he invited me along today? To mess with me?"
Down at the station, Dex goes to Deb, "Hey, I'm sorry if I was short with you this morning. I'm lost without my morning coffee." "Whatever," she says, obviously jealous of the affection he's receiving from Lundy. "How was your play date with Lundy? Did you bond?" Ugh, shut up, Deb! Ignoring this, Dex says he didn't know about the security cameras at the marinas, and Deb says, "It's not like they're doing us any good. We have to update the station's computer system before we can sync up with Lundy's hi-tech equipment." "So the cameras aren't recording?" "Well, they are, but nobody's seen any of the footage." Interesting. Apparently it's going to be fixed this evening.
At the beach, Dexter's playing with Cody on the beach, and Mama says, "Looks like Cody's enjoying himself. Dexter's very patient with him." "Dexter's a saint," says Rita. Dexter walks up and asks where Astor is, because he wants to say goodbye before he goes to meet Lila. "Who's Lila?" asks Mama when Dexter goes to say bye to Astor. "His sponsor." "Really? A woman?" "Yes, Mom. Dexter's sponsor is a woman. Is that a problem?" You tell us, Rita. "Is she attractive?" Mama asks, and Rita gets annoyed. "I'm just curious! Is she?" Dexter returns before Rita can answer, and Mama suggests having Lila over for some dinner. Dexter tries to demur, but Mama presses the issue: "I think it'd be nice if we got to know the woman you've been spending so much time with." Dexter's got nothin'.
Dexter's setting the table, and Rita comes up with a couple of plates of food. "Here, let me help," says Lila, who literally just grabs a plate of asparagus and wheels around and plops it on the table, not really helping at all. They all sit down, and Lila thanks Rita for having her. "Now I can put names to faces. Dexter talks about you all the time." "Good things, I hope," says Rita as she grabs Dexter's hand. "Dex never says a bad word about anyone." Mama joins her hands in prayer mode, and everyone else follows suit. As Dexter cuts his meat, Mama says, "Tell me, Lila, what exactly are you recovering from?" "I'm a meth addict," she says matter-of-factly. "Sober five years." "I don't know much about meth. Rita's ex-husband shot heroin." "Like Dexter!" she says a bit too enthusiastically. "Guess we know your type, don't we?" Lila says to Rita, joking around. "Just can't seem to help myself," Rita responds in kind. This is all a little too tense. I fucking hate situations like this, where worlds collide. Sometimes it can be a bit much. "You have nothing to worry about, with Dexter, I mean," Lila says to Mama. "I'm sitting right here," says Dex, peeved. Lila assures both women that Dexter's doing exceedingly well in the program, "and I'm sure it's got everything to do with the two of you. From what he tells me, you're very supportive. Dexter's lucky to have you." Rita says that's sweet of her to say, and Dexter smiles because everything's going so swimmingly. They talk briefly about Lila's artwork, and she mentions the budding artist in Dexter, referring, of course, to the blood spatter thing. Dexter points this out, and Mama takes the opportunity to jab: "What kind of career choice is blood spatter, exactly?" "He helps catch criminals, mother," says Rita, annoyed. "It makes perfect sense, really, what with Dexter's mother and everything," says Lila. Whoa, dude. That was extra big-ass not awesome. Take it back. After a palpable silence, Lila covers by saying, "You know, she's dead." Yeah, too little, too late, methinks. Dexter sighs, and says, "Forgot the bread." Awkward!
Later, Dexter does the dishes and Lila compliments Rita on her cooking skills as she goes back to the family room. Rita goes over to Dexter and says, "I never thought I'd say this, but I kind of like her." Dexter's all, "You mean, have her for dinner again like her, or three-way like her?" Oh, did I say Dexter? I meant myself. No, Dexter actually grins and says, "Me too. She's really helping me." Rita then expresses her wish that she didn't have to help him tonight, seeing as she's in the mood for some boinkin'. Dexter says he has to go to the office to "take care of something really important." Rita wonders if it can't wait until morning as she nibbles seductively on his ear, so Dexter tells her to give him an hour and meet him at his place. She's down.
Deb is out with Gabe, and I'm preparing to be bored. "I can't believe you write children's books," says Deb. "Yeah, a big tough guy like me should be doing something manly, huh? Like wrangling cattle?" Deb says she doesn't even know any kids books, and how Harry used to tell cop stories before bed: "It was really the only alone time I ever got with him." She takes a big swig of her beer and Gabe asks if she's alright. "Yeah, I just had an annoying day at work," she says. Aw, is someone's father figure ignoring her for her adopted brother? Is someone noticing a pattern? Aw, poor Deb. Dammit, WhiteRabbit, you're in my head! Deb tells Gabe about Lundy, and how she was starting to feel like she was "his go-to girl, but he realized Dexter's the superior Morgan." Weak sauce, Deb. There's no self-pity in Miami Copland! Gabe tries to console her, but she's not hearing it. Gabe asks why Lundy's so important, and she says it's because she respects him: "He's great at his job, he's super-smart, and funny in this really dry way where he doesn't even know it." "You love him," Gabe mocks, secretly jealous. Deb makes some more obvious father comparisons, and like I said, I'm bored, so I'm done here. Sorry.
At the station, Dexter steps out of the elevator into a barren office, and makes a beeline to the video station that's monitoring all the marinas. The door is locked, clearly. "I could try to crack it open, but at my own station?" Yeah, that would be pretty dumb, brosef. He decides it's too risky, and leaves. That was fast.
Back at Casa Morgan, Dexter and Rita quickly make their way to the bedroom and start making out, all happy and giggly. Rita mentions how they can't do this as much with her mom in town, and that she feels "like being bad." "Bad is good," says Dexter, as the phone rings. Rita tells him to let the machine get it (who has a machine anymore, really?), and they keep making out. Naturally, it's Lila on the line, and she starts saying shit that nobody would ever realistically say on an answering machine. "Rita's sweet, very Martha Stewart." Rita bolts up at this, and Dexter's all, "I love Martha Stewart!" Unfortunately, Lila doesn't stop there: "God, her mom! She's got a bug up her ass, doesn't she? By the way, I'm such a twat, I can't believe I almost slipped up about your mom. Mind you, it could have been worse; could've spilled the beans about our road trip, that would have been..." At this point, Dexter tries getting up to shut the machine off, and Rita goes, "Don't you dare!" She's pretty fuckin' railed, Dex; I'd do what she says. "Could you imagine Rita's face if I'd told you and I had spent the night together in a hotel?" Rita gets up, furious. "You and Lila spent the night together in a hotel?" "We had adjoining rooms!" "God, I am such an idiot. I can't believe I defended you to my mother while you were off sleeping with another woman!" "Rita, wait --" "I thought you were different than Paul, but you're the same. Actually, you're worse! You made me trust you!" She wheels around to leave. Dexter tries to stop her, but it's too late: "I've had it! I've been patient and understanding, but there's only so much I can take. You're a liar and a cheat and I am through. It's over, Dexter!" She bolts out of there, leaving Dex with his dick in his hands.
Rita gets back home, where Mama is eating corn flakes right out of the box and watching the tube. "Hi, honey! I thought you were spending the night at Dexter's." "We had a fight. I think we broke up." She cries while Mama comforts her. "Mama's here," she says, stroking her daughter's head while a seriously evil look crosses her face. She wanted this. I mean, duh, but why?
"Yesterday, I was so hopeful," VOs Dexter as he sits on his couch, looking forlorn, the morning sun casting an amber hue on his face. "A new me, a new life. But a life without Rita seems strange." He puts on some clothes, waking Deb in the process. "What the fuck are you doing up so early?" she asks. "Gotta get to the station." Deb follows him into the living room, and asks, "You okay? You seem weird. Weirder than usual." "Rita broke up with me last night." "Seriously? What happened?" "Long story." "I've got time." "I don't." "Cliff Notes." "She thinks I did something bad, but I didn't." Deb wonders if he told her that, but he explains he didn't have time because she just booked. "Did you go after her?" asks Deb. "Was I supposed to?" "You're such a guy. When I get pissed, I say stuff I don't mean all the time! 'I hate you.' 'I faked it.' 'You're hung like a grape.'" "You lost me," says Dex. Deb explains that Rita probably didn't really mean that the relationship is over, and that Dex should "stop being such a douchebag and go fight for her. She's fuckin' perfect." "I know." Deb's cell phone rings, and she picks it up. After a few nondescript grunts and such, she hangs up and tells Dex that it was Lundy, and he's holding a briefing on the BHB case, and specifically requested Dex's presence. Uh-oh. "I've missed my window: he's already seen the footage." He asks Deb why, and she says, "Because you're his new butt-buddy. You gonna be okay?" "Check back with me later." Yeah, true. Losing Rita could be the least of his problems today.
"The show's already started, but have they seen the feature presentation?" VOs Dex as he walks into the video surveillance portion of the BHB room. Masuka asks the monitor woman if everything is synced up. "Yup, we can watch streaming video of the marina right now if you want to." "Yeah, maybe we'll get to see some pontoon poon." Jesus H. Christmas, Vince! Dude, Lundy is standing right to you, man! Everyone gives him a sideways glance, and Lundy says, "Did you need something?" Watching the video footage, Dex VOs, "That's not my marina, yet. I'll be making my onscreen debut soon enough. I've got to figure out a way to get to those video files." Word. Lundy's starting the meeting: "The media frenzy about the Bay Harbor Butcher has come back to bite us, big surprise. Now we've got a wannabe vigilante out there who liked the Butcher's style and thought, 'Hey, I should try this at home.'" Lundy flashes a picture of the "victim" up on the screen as he continues. "He attacked this man, John Henry. Ex-convict, preyed on the elderly. It gets better. I've already received reports of ads on Craig's List and coffee shop bulletin boards requesting the services of the Butcher." Damn, dude. That's pretty nutty. Lundy says, "If this kind of thing catches on, we're looking at an epidemic." "Kind of like herpes," whispers Masuka in Deb's ear. "Fuckin' A, Masuka, I'm trying to listen." "One in four, Morgan. One in four." Dude, you're a dick, Vince! Lundy goes on to explain that vigilante justice is domestic terrorism, and that if one life is lost to a vigilante, that he will pull the case from Miami Metro Police and make it a totally Federal case. "That's a promise." "That's a disaster," VOs Dex. "It would be raining Feds in Miami." Lundy finishes that if Miami Metro wants to keep the case, they need to "nip this in the bud." Angel busts in, saying he thinks he has a suspect. He plugs a USB key into the projector, and immediately a driver's license showing a guy named Ken Olsen (played by this guy, natch) pops up. "Olsen's mother was hurt badly in a home invasion robbery. Guess who hurt her?" "Please tell me John Henry, our train car victim?" Angel thinks Olsen attacked Henry for revenge. Lundy wants to know if there's any way to get him in for questioning, but Angel says they can't find him anywhere. "Okay, leak this to some of your media contacts. Let's try and beat this guy out of the bushes. Good work, detective." Lundy tells everyone else to find either hard evidence on Olsen, or the man himself. "The full force of the FBI," VOs Dex, still stuck on some old shit, "that's the last thing I need. I've got to make sure Lundy gets his man, after I find a way to erase the marina files, and make up with my girlfriend. And then maybe I'll try to tackle world hunger, because things really can't get much worse."
Dexter distractedly starts walking back towards the lab, where he discovers Doakes listening to the tape of Harry and Laura Moser. Dex busts in, and Doakes gives him an evil sideways glare. "Turn it off," demands Dexter, and Doakes doesn't move, so Dexter shuts it off himself, saying, "I said turn it off!" "I heard what you said. I just don't take orders from you." "Is there a reason you're in my lab, Sergeant Doakes?" Dex asks, his temper beginning to flare. "Is there a reason you're listening to tapes as old as you are, Morgan? Had a little talk with your sister. Turns out, she didn't know you were in the program." "Anonymous, Sergeant." "How long did you say you been clean?" asks Doakes, mockingly jovial. "Actually, I didn't, because it's none of your goddamn business." Whoa, dude. Fight! Fight! Fight! "So, if I were to take a hair from your desk and run it for drugs, it would come back positive, right? Because, why would someone pretend to be an addict if he's not? Unless he's got something a hell of a lot worse to hide." That evil smile again. Ooh, he's a menace! Dexter steps up to him and says, very deliberately, "Back. The fuck. Off." Dude, I would not fuck with him, ever! "You wanna hit me? Go for it. I've been waitin' for a chance to take your ass out." "I know how you feel, Sergeant." Dexter high-tails it over to LaGuerta's office, where he busts in and says, "I want to file a formal complaint against Doakes." "Jesus, Dexter, the two of you..." she says, as if dealing with a couple of bickering four-year-olds, and she may as well be. "He crossed the line, Lieutenant! He broke into my lab, he went through my personal things, he threatened me! He's probably going to start tailing me, again!" "Sergeant Doakes tailed you?" "For weeks, maybe longer." LaGuerta tells him he has every right to file a complaint, but she wants a chance to talk to Doakes herself, first. "He's really not much of a talker," says Dex. "I'm asking you, as a personal favor to me, to hold off. Can you do that?" "Yeah," he says, reluctantly. LaGuerta "strongly encourages" Dexter to take a break for a couple hours: "Just go somewhere, cool off." "No," he responds. "Excuse me?" "I need to be here. Lieutenant, this is really not a good time for me to leave." "It isn't a suggestion, Dexter, it's an order." Dexter looks vexed.
So vexed, in fact, that he heads over to Lila's in the pouring rain, presumably to give her the what-for for fucking up his thing with Rita. She answers the door, and actually says, "Blimey, look at you!" "Blimey," really? Really? What is this, Blackadder? Anyway, once inside, Dexter starts pacing back and forth, and Lila wants to know what's going on. "What's going on? Being 'the new me' sucks! I'm about to be found out at work for what I am, for what I really am, and I can't do anything to stop it because I got kicked out of the office to 'cool off.'" "That seems to be going well for you." Shut up, Lila. Dexter smacks his hands together as if implying that he'd like to back-hand Lila, and says, "Add to that the fact that Rita heard your message and dumped me last night! I tried to explain to her that nothing happened at the hotel, but she wouldn't listen to me. Nobody fucking listens to me!" Whoa. "Listen, you need to calm down," says Lila, not knowing that when someone needs to calm down, the last thing they ever want to hear is that they need to calm down. Dexter gives her that evil look he does so well, but she continues: "The last time I saw you like this, you came back covered in blood." "So?" he says intensely, grabbing her forearms and making her jump back. "You're the one who said I'm supposed to 'feel my feelings.'" "Well, now I'm telling you to get them under control!" He grabs her even harder, and her knees seem to fail a bit. "You don't understand." "Why don't you make me?" At this, he tosses her on to the bed, and pounces on her, grabbing her around the throat as if to choke her. She makes some helpless sounds like she can't breathe, and then they start making out something fierce. And then they pork. It's pretty hot.
Lying in post-coital bliss, their minds kind of blown by what just happened, Dexter says, "Which step was that?" Heh, not bad, Dex. Lila agrees, and giggles a little bit. She has to ruin it by saying, "The naughty one." Oh, do shut up, Porsche! She ruins it even further by asking Dexter what he's thinking. "Absolutely nothing," he says convincingly. "Guess we found a way to quiet the voices in your head." "I guess so." "How do you feel?" "Much better, actually." "I guess I must be a good sponsor after all." Yeah, yeah, we get it. Nice fucking pillow talk. Meh. I mean, that was cool and everything, and I'm surely curious to see where they take this, especially as it relates to Rita, but enough. Thankfully, Dexter gets out of bed and starts putting on his pants, prompting Lila to ask where he's off to. "Still have that thing at work to deal with." Wait that means you guys have been boning for hours. Nice work! I'd expect a little more sweat, considering the humidity you're surrounded by, but hey. Lila tells him to "come back tomorrow. I promise you some serious recovery." Okay, if that kind of innuendo is going to become a regular thing, than this thing we have right here? Isn't going to work. So shut it, Lila.
Back out at the car, Dexter's cell is ringing, and naturally, it's fucking Rita. Dude, you better wash your balls if you're going over there, just sayin'. Dex answers, "Hello?" "Dexter, hey. You at work?" "Ah, I will be soon. I was just taking a break. What's going on?" "I'd really like to get together and talk. I don't like how our last conversation ended." "Me neither." She says she owes him a chance to explain: "I owe it to us." "Oh, wow, okay," he says, realizing the gravity of what he's just done. They arrange for him to come over after work, and hang up. "Apparently, my new life involves a love triangle," he VOs. Heh, true. "I'm that guy." His face totally mirrors what the voiceover just said, and it's pretty funny. Michael C. Hall is awesome. "The voices are back. Excellent." Ha! Wow, that's the most self-aware his VO has ever been.
Down at some pier where Doakes is grabbing a quick lunch, LaGuerta catches up with him. "James! You were tailing Dexter? What the hell were you thinking?" "If you wanted lunch, you could have asked," Doakes non-sequitors sarcastically. "If Dexter files a complaint, you will be kicked off the force, end of story!" "There's a reason he hasn't reported me until now," he says, still with the smarminess. "He's hiding something, Maria, I can feel it." LaGuerta: "Is this another one of your conspiracy theories?" There have been others? Interesting. And totally expected. "It's instinct," he says, removing his sunglasses. "And a hell of a lot of experience. I spent years looking the enemy in the face, and I'm telling you Morgan is dangerous." LaGuerta reminds him that his instincts haven't been so on-point as of late: "Two shootings in the last six months. Stalking a police employee --" "Listen to me," he says, bringing Maria to an area where people won't hear, "Morgan lied about the Ice Truck Killer. That crack-pipe knew way more than he ever told us." "He was trying to protect his sister! You of all people should understand that." "I followed him to an NA meeting. That asshole lied about that, too." LaGuerta tells him that he's obsessed, and that he needs to get over this shit lickety-split. "We've been through this before. Last time it cost you our relationship." Whoa, that was unexpected. I knew they'd boned, but a relationship? Hmm. LaGuerta continues, "This time it's going to get you kicked off the force, or worse!" "I'll take my chances." Hmm, sounds like they're setting Doakes up for a pretty big fall. I wonder if there's any way Dexter could try to frame Doakes for all of this. LaGuerta urges Doakes to leave Dexter alone, but is only met with his steely gaze, so she leaves.
Outside the station, Masuka and Deb have cigarettes and talk about Olsen, the presumed vigilante guy. "Saw himself on the three o'clock news and showed up with his lawyer," says Deb as Lundy arrives. "We're gonna nail his ass to the wall," she says, and follows Lundy inside. Masuka, of course, calls after her: "I love it when you talk dirty." I think they should have done another take, because that line wasn't delivered with Masuka's usual patented zeal.
Inside, Lundy comes out of the elevator, and shouts, "Morgan?" Deb, who's right behind him, says, "Right here!" "Oh, the other Morgan. I didn't know you were a smoker. Hmm." He starts to walk away, and Deb checks her breath in her hand. Lundy asks LaGuerta if she's seen Dexter, and she tells him, "He's on a break, why?" "Detective Batista's got a suspect in Interview Room 1. We think he's the would-be vigilante who attacked our train car victim. I need Morgan to take some scrapings for evidence." LaGuerta points out that Masuka's on the task force, and that he's actually present. "Yes, he is," Lundy says disdainfully. One too many she-male jokes, Lundy? Yeah, I hear that.
In the interrogation room, Masuka takes the fingernail scrapings as Angel questions Olsen. "So, Mr. Olsen, the man who assaulted your mom was attacked yesterday, did you know that?" Olsen says no, but he can't say he's upset about it, seeing as the guy almost killed his mother. Angel wonders aloud if he has any idea who did it, and Olsen says, "I dunno, maybe it was the Butcher. You ask me, a guy like that should be runnin' the police force, not hiding from it." Lundy, who's eating animal crackers, asks, "Is this a lion or a hippo?" Nobody knows what to say, except Masuka, who thinks it's a lion. Lundy eats it, and says, "Tastes like a hippo." He offers one to Olsen, who declines, and then asks what he does for a living. "I just lost my job." "That's too bad." Angel brings up Olsen "minor assault record," and that Olsen has no alibi for yesterday morning's attack. The lawyer asserts that Olsen probably didn't think he needed one. "Do you have a girlfriend, Mr. Olsen?" asks Lundy. "She just broke up with me. Why, you interested?" "Just curious." Angel goes over some points: "No job, no relationship, you've got guns and a minor assault record --" "And I voted for George Bush, both times!" The lawyer steps in, and says, "Detective, were you getting at something?" "What he's getting at," says Lundy, "is that your client fits the four-point profile of someone who'd commit a vigilante offense." He calls Olsen a "ticking time-bomb" who was just looking for a reason to take the law into his own hands. "You don't know me," says Olsen, and Angel counters that they know he attacked John Henry. "You need proof to make those kinds of accusations, Detective," says the Lawyer. Lundy tells Olsen to get comfortable, and that he and Angel have work to do.
Dexter's standing outside the video surveillance room, and he VOs, "That's my marina. And in less than thirty minutes, I'll be on that screen. I need to take care of this, and fast. I'm out of time. I need an idea, a sign, anything. What would the old Dexter do?" He looks around the hallway, searching for any kind of inspiration, and his eyes land on the fire alarm trigger. "Definitely not that." After inspecting the area a bit more, he thinks, "No security cameras," and makes his way over to the little red box and pulls the alarm. He quickly gets back into the main office to avoid suspicion. "Apparently, the new Dexter is stuck in high school. Maybe I am a late bloomer." Everyone starts to filter out of the office, and LaGuerta says, "A fire drill, are they kidding? We have work to do!" Angel says, "It was probably one of those kids in the bullpen. It's something I would have done." Heh, I love Angel. Dexter pretends to follow the last of the uniformed cops out, but quickly ducks into the surveillance room and plops down at the main terminal. He finds the video file of himself cleaning his boat, and is about to erase it when he hears Masuka, who is apparently the fire guard as well as the resident perv, coming his way. "Respect the vest! Don't make me take out my hose, huh huh." Oh, God. He quickly departs, satisfied that nobody's left on the floor, and Dexter's gets back to business. He deletes the video file, and VOs, "Like it never happened," which is totally not true. I mean, don't files leave traces of themselves on computers, no matter what operating system you're using, even that weird, TV-only, not-OSX-not-Windows-not-linux one? Oh, well, I guess Dexter's figuring that they aren't going to notice a missing chunk of time, and thus won't look for it. Ho-hum. He books out of there, VOing, "If only the rest of life were so easy to figure out." Word. There are plenty of files I'd delete, I'll tell you what.
Outside, Dexter catches up with Deb, who looks annoyed. "Where are you headed? I thought you'd be first in line to check out the firemen." Heh, good one, Dex! "I have to arrange protective custody for that piece-of-shit train car victim," she says. "Why?" "Because we have nothing on Olsen, not even enough to get a warrant to search his place." Dexter asks to see Olsen's file, which Deb is carrying for some reason. Deb reiterates, while Dexter memorizes Olsen's address, that if Olsen is set free and kills again, the FBI will take over the whole BHB case, "which means we're all fucked." "Some more than others," says Dex. "No shit. Until Lundy showed up, I just felt like the dipshit who slept with the Ice Truck Killer. He pulls the plug, I go back to being the resident retard." "Chin up, little sister," says Dex. "These things have a way of working themselves out."
It's nighttime, and Dexter's got his murderin' clothes on. "I just have to find a piece of evidence to make sure Lundy catches Olsen fair and square." He starts breaking in to Olsen house through a window. Once inside, he looks around for incriminating stuff. He finds a gun stash in Olsen's desk, and shines his light on a wall that is littered with BHB clippings. "Looks like I have a fan club, membership of one," Dex VOs as a car pulls up outside. Dexter stealthily shuts off his light and moves to a corner. Olsen comes into the room and curiously examines the window Dexter came in through. Quickly, Dexter shuts the light and gets Olsen in a sleeper hold from behind. "Why are you so interested in the Bay Harbor Butcher?" "Holy shit, you're him, aren't you?" Dexter increases the pressure on Olsen's neck. "Stop, stop!" he gags. "Don't kill me! I'm like you! I take out criminals." "You mean, you try," says Dex. "Pitifully." "No, no, that was just the last one! He got away. I should have never made it personal." "You've killed others?" asks Dex, now intrigued. "That's what I'm trying to tell you. First was a drug dealer. I ran him down with my car. It felt...it felt fucking great. Even better than the free stash I got off him. And then, this guy at work found out I was fucking his wife, and he started to beat on her, so I pushed him down a stairwell. The cops thought it was an accident, but it was me! See? You can't kill me!" "I wasn't going to," says Dex. "Until now." Oh, snap! Dexter pops a tight sleeper hold on the guy, and he passes out in seconds. Wicked!
Olsen wakes up in the same train car that he attacked John Henry in, the only difference being that Dexter's wrapped it in plastic. "This is what the kill room should look like," says Dex when he sees Olsen's awake. "The inside of a big plastic bag. Of course, I spent hours working in this train car yesterday, so I'm not too worried about trace evidence." Heh, true. Nice one. "To your credit, your location was well-chosen, it just needed a little cleaning, a few lights..." He picks up his meat cleaver. "...Proper tools, of course." "I did it because of you!" says Olsen, not understanding what's happening. "No, you attacked those people because you wanted to," says Dex. "Yeah, but you inspired me." "I didn't." "With your principles!" "Not my principles." "Of course they are!" "Don't tell me who I am. My whole life, I've done what someone else said I should do, been who he said I should be. I followed his rules, stuck to his plan. I never stopped to think about what I wanted. What Ineeded. And now, I don't know who I'm supposed to be. I'll tell you one thing, though: I'm not the Bay Harbor Butcher. I'm certainly not anybody's role model." "What are you talking about? Then who are you?" "I'll let you know when I figure that out. Though, I gotta tell ya, I am well on my way, because sure as I'm standing here, I don't need to kill you." "Well, that's a relief," says Olsen, laughing. "I mean that need that comes from within that always drives me to this table. I don't feel it. I'm in recovery." "Well, I mean, I knew you weren't going to kill me," says Olsen, relieved. "No, I'm gonna kill you, I have to. I just don't need to, it's very empowering." Hack! Wow, that was kind of amazing. Is it possible that Dexter won't be a serial killer anymore? Wouldn't be much of a premise for a show without that. We'll see.
Later on, Lundy's task force is on the scene, and they open up the train car to discover the bags that Dexter's left behind, filled with Olsen's remains. They start sorting the bags. "Arm," says Lundy. "Leg," says Deb. "Head," says Angel, looking barfy. "It's Olsen, gift-wrapped." "It would seem the Butcher is tracking the investigation," says Lundy. "Well, that wouldn't be hard to do," says Angel, "but why'd he leave the victim's body for us? That's a first." "Probably didn't take too kindly to the idea of Olsen imitating him," says Deb. "Pretty good way to discourage others, don't you think?" "I hate to say it, but he probably did us a favor," says Angel, thinking that this should put an end to the vigilante shit. "This is the first place we've set foot in a place where the Butcher's actually been. Let's get busy," says Lundy.
Later, Deb approaches Lundy as he's on the phone. He hangs up, and says, "I came over here to get some privacy, Officer Morgan." "Oh, sorry, I didn't --" "Too much background noise over there. Hearing's the first thing to go." "Are you going to pull the case from us?" asks Deb, desperately. Lundy says no, and asks if Dexter will be around tomorrow. "Yeah, I think so," says Deb, annoyed. "I'll tell him you want him within shouting distance." She starts to walk away, and Lundy says, "Hey. What just happened?" "No, it's cool. He's always been the family superstar." "Who?" "Dexter, your new go-to guy." "Oh, this isn't about Dexter," says Lundy with that I Just Smelled A Fart face. "It's about Masuka. I can't stand him. I hear one more titty joke, I'm afraid I'll punch him in the face!" Deb is elated to hear this, and gives Lundy a big hug, and it's actually really sweet. Sorry, WhiteRabbit, but Deb wins this round.
Rita's doorbell rings, and she opens the door to find a very sullen and damp Dexter. "Hey, sit down," she says, and he does so, silently. "I was angry before when you tried to explain, but this time I'll listen." "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the road trip," he starts. "Lila...came with me to Naples, as my sponsor, that's all." "Well, why would you need her in Naples?" Fair. "You remember when I went out of town?" She does. "I went to find the man who killed my mother." "What are you talking about?" she asks, obviously confused. "A lot of stuff has been coming up for me in recovery. Things I never thought I'd deal with. I watched my mother die, when I was three." "Wow, Dexter...I'm so sorry." "She was murdered in front of me. I saw it happen. I think that has a lot to do with why I'm...why I do the things I do." "Of course," Rita agrees. "It makes sense." "I found the man who killed her, in Naples. I thought, maybe, if I talked to him I could find some kind of...closure. And that's why Lila came with me. For support." Rita wants to know why Dexter chose Lila, and not her, to share that moment in his life with. "She's my sponsor." "And I'm your girlfriend." Both valid assertions, in my opinion. "I was afraid you wouldn't understand," says Dex. "Okay, so let me try to understand now. You and Lila went away together as sponsor and sponsee, and you really did have adjoining rooms?" "Yes," says Dexter. "So you didn't have sex that night?" "No," he says. Leave it at that, dude. Seriously, just...let it be. "Okay," says Rita. "Not that night," says Dex after a pause. Oh, fuck. Understanding slowly dawns on Rita's face, and she whimpers, "Leave." "Rita..." "No, please. Leave," she repeats forcefully. "Now." Dex does as he's told.
Outside, he stands in the rain and VOs, "There was a time I would have done anything to protect Rita. I would have even lied. But today, I told the truth, even though I knew she'd get hurt. Maybe I am leaving the old me behind." He's arrived at Lila's door, and rings the buzzer. She opens up, and they share a moment. He heads inside.
Damn, that was a pretty heavy episode. I really don't love that Rita's just a done deal now. Well, it seems that way, but anything could happen. And when is the intensity going to really ratchet up on our leading man? I mean, he's got an ongoing investigation looking into his multiple murders, and I feel like he's spending a little too much time dealing with his mommy issues and not nearly enough time dealing with his death sentence ones. Get up on that, Dex!