By Jeff Long
The episode starts with a wounded Dexter wandering around a deserted warehouse area. He looks like he’s in trouble. But, then, we see him call 911 and ask for assistance. He tells them that he has been stabbed. But, really, he was just looking for a clever way to get to some EMT workers who had been letting people die for profit. There are lots of moving parts in that scenario, but Dexter seemed to make it work just fine. He kills them with defibrillators.
Angel’s sister Jamie is Harrison’s new nanny. She’s gorgeous. Dex and Deb interview at a Catholic school where they would like Harrison to matriculate. It’s revealed that Dexter isn’t Catholic and he says that he doesn’t believe in anything. Meanwhile, Laguerta is promoted to Captain. She seemed oddly chummy with Deputy Chief Matthews on the dais and it seems she blackmailed him into her position by finding out that he was featured in a book of clients for a big time madam. Score. It also appears that Laguerta and Angel got a divorce in our time away. She has recommended Angel to take over her job.
Dexter goes to his 20 year high school reunion, mostly to get this guy who was super popular and who he suspects killed his wife -- a girl from high school who was also super popular and also nice. He goes to the reunion and finds out that he was a lot more well-known than he thought he was. He even gets a BJ from a pretty girl. He finds the guy and kills him, though not without having to play touch football (really poorly) first. Dexter playing touch football is one hundred percent the highlight of this episode.
Meanwhile, Colin Hanks and Edward James Olmos are in a boat in a swamp looking for a pregnant snake. Then, they sneak up on some guy selling fruit by the side of the road. When the man is found, baby snakes had been sewn into his body. Gross. Colin Hanks is crazy and our guest for the season.
Deb is at a restaurant with Quinn and he’s clearly about to propose when an armed dude comes in and starts shooting. Deb saves the day while Quinn is in the restroom. Dexter goes back to the school and tells the admissions lady that he wants Harrison to have exposure to God and stuff. The lady says that they will do their best to find a place for him.