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Previously on Desperate Housewives: a season finale by the name of "One Wonderful Day" aired. Maybe you saw it?
Okay so...Mike was about to walk into his house and get his brains blown out by Zana. Or maybe it's Bongo who's going to get it, or Susan will manage to shoot herself somehow. But before we get to that, first...Ida Greenberg. Come on, Ida Greenberg? You remember Ida. Ida, the newspaper thief? Ida, who is also the neighborhood drunk? Ida "Sure Like Another Drink" Greenberg? So Ida is sneaking out of a house with something suspiciously bottle-y wrapped in a paper bag. We get some Ida flashbacking, with MAVO explaining how she'd been spotted hiccupping drunk at sewing bees, hiccupping drunk at the DMV, and burping drunk at First Methodist church. (And who's that sitting in the pew behind Ida? Edie? In church! ["Probably sweating like a...well, anyway." -- Wing Chun]) Back in the now, we see Ida walking up the street, unscrewing the top of some sort of whisky something. MAVO: "Ida had tried to quit drinking many times, but she couldn't. Then one night, in a moment of despair, she challenged God," Ida looks up at the heavens, "to quench her neverending thirst. Luckily for Ida, God was listening." Mike's truck drives up the street behind Ida and pulls into his driveway.
And then bam! Mike's walking in the door and Zana's right there with his gun, his shirt buttoned and tucked beyond all sanity. And Bongo's there. And Susan too. Slowly, with lips pursed like a little girl flute player, Zana levels his gun at Mike. "[Zana], listen to me," Mike pleads, but Zana isn't in a listening mood; rather, he's in a gun-cocking mood. At the sound of the bullet clicking into place, Susan springs out of her seat, shouting "Noooooo" as she throws her body, all seven pounds of it, against Zana. Zana falls to the ground, the gun gets knocked to the side, and a spastic struggle ensues, Zana pulling on Susan's leg and Mike pulling on Zana's arm and Bongo bonging like crazy. Somehow, Susan manages to grab the gun. "Not so tough now, are you?" says she. Hey, Susan's lip's bleeding! Susan's moment of triumph lasts all of two seconds before Bongo attacks her leg. That bad, bad Bongo, such a grudge-keeper! Mike lets go of Zana and runs over to try to get Bongo off Susan. Susan trips backward and falls into a chair, causing the gun to, of course, go off, as surely we all knew it would the very second we saw it in Susan's hands. But don't worry, no one's hurt! Nobody except Ida's bottle of precious brown fluids, which Susan has managed to shoot by way of Mike's window. Zana races out the door and up the street, and we see Ida, standing there looking astonished with nothing but the neck of her exploded bottle in her hands. MAVO: "It was at that moment it occurred to Ida [that] God may work in mysterious ways, but he isn't particularly subtle."
Wah-wahhhh. And roll those credits!