By DeAnn Welker
Money continues to rule on Wisteria Lane, as everywhere -- although, I have to digress for a moment to talk about how very stupid I think the "official" title of this episode is. It says nothing and means nothing. Unless it's some sort of popular saying that means something I am missing. That's very likely, but still: I don't like it.
Anyway, money issues, starting with: Lynette. Scavo's is in trouble, so Lynette suggests closing it. When Tom calls a family meeting that he is late for, Lynette walks in and tells the kids this must mean he's closing it. But he comes in and announces he let all his employees go, so all of the kids can go to work as wait staff. Lynette can't believe this, but since she told him she'd support him, she does. The kids are not good at work, though, so it basically just means Tom and Lynette are doing more. And then, when a group of high school kids come in, Porter and Preston are out of there. Their reputations are at stake, after all. Kids tease them for sandals they wore once, so they will not be seen in a Scavo's apron. Apparently being arrested is okay, though. Hmmm. Strange place, that Fairview.
Gaby and Carlos find out that the bonus he told her he'd be getting just last week is not happening. Something about the economy or something. Gaby's sad because she can't buy the frivolous things she wanted. Mainly jewelry. So she goes to the jewelry shop to tell her jeweler she can't get the bracelet, when she runs into Carlos's boss, Brad, the very guy who told them there would be no bonus. She sees him kissing a blond (his wife, Maria, is brunette), and he sees her watching. thing we know, Carlos gets a $30,000 bonus. And then Maria's coming over to ask for advice on getting a gift for Brad, and soon enough, Brad and Maria are expecting, and want Carlos and Gaby to be the godparents. Two things: Who ever said Brad and Maria were part of this show? And how in the world did all of that happen in one episode?
Bree's money problems are quite different than most people's, as usual. Her husband is obsessed with finding out what her son makes, since everyone works for her. She won't tell Orson anything, but he eventually finds out her password and gets the bank to tell him Andrew's salary. It's twice what Orson makes, which explains all of the expensive stuff he's been buying for his new house, and the fancy new pen he bought himself. Bree tells Orson that Andrew's been doing the job for a long time, and it was just a cost-of-living raise she gave him. And she says that even though Orson used to be a dentist, he's a caterer now, and his salary is based on his expertise as a caterer. Orson pays Andrew a compliment about what a good employee he is by the end of the episode, which seems sincere -- mainly because Andrew is a good employee -- but then he steals Andrew's fancy pen. Are we supposed to believe that with his and Bree's income, Orson can't buy his own stupid pen? Sheesh. Give me a break, show.
MJ's sick when Susan starts her job back up, so she leaves MJ with Mike. Mike says he's too busy with work, but she insist he take MJ, because it's her first day. Mike agrees to, but when Susan gets home, she finds a note from Katherine, saying MJ's with her. Susan's not pleased about this, and makes that perfectly clear. MJ, however, is happy about it, and will barely let go of Katherine when it's time to leave. Susan tells Mike that, from now on, he needs to watch MJ himself, but thing she knows, he's at Katherine's again, having a panini and making not-from-a-box brownies. When he asks Susan for provolone cheese the day, she tells him no, that's pretentious (provolone? Really? It's about as pretentious as cheddar), so he goes to Katherine's while Susan's in the shower. He tells her his mommy said it was okay, but when Susan gets out of the shower and runs around the neighborhood in her bathrobe looking for him, it's clear she didn't. She shows up at Katherine's, and accuses her of using MJ to try to sink her claws deeper into Mike. Katherine says she's being nice to the child of the guy she's dating; that doesn't make her evil. Susan says not evil, but devious. Then she adds that MJ will be allowed at Mike's or Susan's, but not at Katherine's. Katherine says that will be tricky, since Mike's giving up his place and moving in at the first of the month.
Unless, of course, Creepy Dave's camping plans get in the way. He invites Mike and Katherine on a camping trip with him and Edie. Mike says Katherine might go if another woman is going, and Creepy Dave says Edie is. When he finally tells Edie, though, she says no way. He knew that's what she'd say, but he wants her to please not tell Katherine, or she won't go, and it's very important to Mike that she does. Edie agrees, in exchange for weekend spent at a five-star hotel. Creepy Dave obliges, then he packs his gun for the "camping" trip. This ought to be fun.
Previously: Dr. Heller found out Creepy Dave was in a band with Mike, so Creepy Dave killed him. Lynette was broke, because people do without pizza in a bad economy so Scavo's was not doing well. Carlos told Gaby he got his bonus, and she was thrilled. Susan got a job working at MJ's school.
Mary Alice tells us it's not hard to spot a mother who works outside of her home, because there are signs: Lynette dresses in a hurry, a couple other no-names eat breakfast in a hurry and apply makeup in the car. Susan has a sick child. I had no idea that having a sick child was a sign that you worked outside of the home. Mary Alice teaches me so much. Susan shows up at Mike's with MJ and a stuffed monkey. Mike greets them warmly, but then Susan says MJ's sick and she's late, so he has to watch MJ today. He has to work too, but she says she wins because it's her first day. Mike has to deal with Miss Nelson's septic tank at 9, but Susan points out he's a plumber so no one expects him to be on time. Susan lectures Mike about how she went back to work, so now it's time he does his part (because working all day and all night is not doing his part, apparently; now he must also do that and have time to babysit). Mike says he'll reschedule Miss Nelson, so Susan leaves. MJ's sad that she'd leave him while he's sick, but she promises to be back at 6. Mary Alice finishes that it's not hard to spot a woman who works outside the home: Just look for a woman who leaves her house (or, in this case, her husband's house across the street) looking guilty.
Mary Alice is still talking -- now about how exhausted people start coming home from work just after sundown. Some are met by pets. Some are welcomed with martinis. Others are greeted with dinner on the table. (We don't get faces with any of these.) Then there are those who return from a long day to discover unpleasant surprises. With this, we see Susan walk up to her (or Mike's? I can't tell) door, where there's a note that says, "MJ is at my house. Katherine." How extremely unpleasant that Susan now has to walk all the way to Katherine's to pick up MJ. When she gets there, Katherine invites her in warmly, but Susan is cold, cold, cold. MJ says hi to her, but then says he's feeling better because Katherine made him soup, read him a story, and showed him to play blackjack. He tells her he'll always double down on a pair of aces. Susan asks where Mike is, and Katherine explains that Miss Nelson had a plumbing emergency. Susan's all, "Uh-huh," and then tries to drag MJ out, but he runs back to give Katherine a big hug and tell her thank you. Susan tells him to stop, because he's making Katherine feel uncomfortable. Oh, speak for yourself, Susan!
Alex is giving Bree and Andrew the tour of his and Andrew's home. Orson's amazed at how fancy it is, considering it's their first place. Alex says it's all Andrew, who's the one with the taste. Alex wonders why Andrew's running late, and Orson explains he's cleaning up a mess for Bree. Orson notices that the bowl on the table is cut crystal, and Alex says that's Andrew again, who has exquisite taste and the money to match ever since Bree gave him a raise. She looks awkward, and Orson's all, "A raise?" Bree tries to brush it off as a tiny salary bump, but Alex says that tiny is not the word for her "extraordinary generosity." Bree just wants to talk about the party mix in the cut crystal bowl, but then Alex brings a fancy wine over, and Orson is amazed again at how much money Andrew's spending. He gives Bree a look.
Carlos and Gaby are out to eat with Carlos's slimy boss, Brad, and his wife, Maria. Brad and Maria want to thank them for saving their marriage. They've been much closer ever since Brad's had Carlos to help him out. Brad apologizes for how much Carlos has been away from home, and she says she'll be more okay with it once they get his bonus. Carlos jokes that the only person more excited about that bonus than Gaby is her jeweler. Brad fesses up that there are no bonuses this year because of the economy. Gaby asks if Brad knows how hard Carlos has been working, and then she says, "For God's sake, don't do this to my jeweler." Then she asks if this dinner was his bonus, because she'd like a little more than a salad and stuffed chicken breast. She calls the waiter over and asks for ten lobsters to go for dessert. Hee. Resourceful!
At Scavo's, Lynette suggests closing up early since they haven't had a customer in about an hour. Tom looks around at his bored staff and asks them to take off their aprons and sit in the window so it looks busy, which will lure people in. Lynette wonders what they'll do with all the pretend money they're going to make from their pretend customers. Tom swears this is going to work, and then he starts giving his staff "roles" to play. Then he tells them to keep it up and he heads back to the kitchen. Lynette stops him and tells him that this isn't just a slump, and that they're about a week away from going bankrupt. Tom's improv actors in the window fake laugh. Tom gets that she's worried, but thinks creativity will save them. She says they need to sell the place now, while they can still maybe make some money. Tom says no: He's not going out like this, he's not going to be a failure. And his actors/waiters laugh. He says, "Please tell me they just saw a customer." They actually did.
Edie and Creepy Dave are coming in from a bike ride, and Edie thinks they should go eat dinner at a fancy restaurant. He says she does like to live well, and she's all, "Why not?" She says that life is short (ooh, could this be foreshadowing her departure from the show?) and it mostly sucks, so you should live it up while you can. He says they can go anyplace she wants, so she suggests going away for the weekend to a five-star hotel with a great spa. He says he isn't sure, since he has a lot to do. But then she hears a distinct buzzing and starts to snoop around. He tells her that, on second thought, he'd love to go away this weekend. She should go book a hotel. When she leaves, he pulls out his briefcase full of prescriptions from Dr. Heller, and a cell phone that has a new voicemail. It's from Dr. Heller's receptionist calling to tell Dr. Heller she got his text, but people are starting to wonder what's going on. If he doesn't come back soon, she's going to have to tell people she doesn't know where he is. Uh-oh, Creepy Dave: You might be running out of time before someone finds you out.
His thoughts exactly, apparently, because he shows up in Mike's lawn and invites him and Katherine to go camping this weekend with him and Edie. Not exactly what Edie had in mind by five-star hotel with a spa, I'm thinking. Mike loves camping, but he isn't sure that Katherine wants to go. Creepy Dave says that Edie won't go if Katherine doesn't go, so Mike says he'll convince her since there's another woman going. Mike will dig his gear out tonight and thinks this will be fun. Creepy Dave says yeah, and then walks off looking sinister, saying, "This is gonna be fun." Here's the thing: That's just not who Creepy Dave is. He's a sad, mentally unstable guy wanting revenge, not some serial killer who thinks murder will be fun. At least that's what I think, but I guess I could still be very wrong about him.
In Bree's catering kitchen, Orson's admiring Andrew's pen (and, no, that's not a euphemism, THANK GOD). Andrew got a Mont Blanc pen, which Orson is jealous of (again, NOT a euphemism, although ... with the way this storyline goes, it sort of might as well be). Andrew says he's always wanted a Mont Blanc pen, and Orson guesses he can afford it now with his new raise. Andrew's surprised: "Oh, you heard about that?" Orson says he did, but then Bree storms in and interrupts with actual work. She tells them the Chamber of Commerce called to add forty people to the guest list. Orson's pissed, because he only planned for 100. But Andrew says it's no sweat. Because the Chamber's famous for doing this, he already booked the extras, and since it's last minute, they can get away with charging an additional 30 percent for the changes. Uh, yeah, I'm thinking he's worth that raise. But I think Orson's thinking he's just a bit of a show-off. Andrew leaves, and Bree asks what they'd do without Andrew. Orson agrees, and says he's worth every penny they pay him, then he asks how many pennies that is. She's not telling him, because it's not his business. She'll only say that Andrew moved into a new home, so she gave him a cost-of-living increase. Orson wonders whose cost of living, since he can afford rare wines and fancy pens. Orson's all, "Oh my god, is he making more than me?" She tells him to stop this and says she's not telling, and storms out.
Orson calls someone (bank? accountant?) to find out how much Andrew makes. The guy would be happy to give him the information -- since Orson says he's Bree's business partner -- if he can provide the password. He cannot. The guy even helps him out, saying it's the name of Bree's childhood pet. Orson guesses every stereotypical dog name in the book, from Fluffy to Marmaduke, but he clearly doesn't know it. Orson would like the guy to ask him a different question: her date of birth, Social Security number, or her real hair color. ("Trust me. It's not what you think it is.") But the guy hangs up.
Lynette comes home, and all the kids are sitting around the kitchen table. She says if they're waiting for dinner, it will be a while. One of the twins tells her they're there because Tom called a family meeting. Lynette tells them she knows what it's about: Tom must have decided to close the restaurant, so she needs them all to be very supportive of him, okay? He walks in right then and Penny blurts out that she loves him. Lynette says, "Not yet." He tells them he'd like to talk about the pizzeria, and Lynette tells him they all support him 100 percent. He says that's good to know, because he just had to let all of their employees go, so now the kids have to be his new wait staff. Everyone looks shocked, and they all look at Lynette like, "The hell?" Parker says no way, and Tom tells them if they do this, Scavo's could start making a profit again. Penny says she's nine, so she's not sure this is even legal. Tom tells her "Happy Birthday," because she's fifteen now. Lynette gets up and they huddle with their backs to the kids. She says she thought he was ready to close the place after their talk, but he says he's not ready. I love the way this scene is shot, because it's a tight close-up on Tom and Lynette, focused on them. But in between their faces are Parker, Porter and Preston, out of focus, but all totally staring at Tom and Lynette. They want to know what their futures hold; is it pizza? Anyway, she tries to talk him out of it, but he reminds her she said she'd support him 100 percent. She says, "That doesn't sound like me." Heh. No, it doesn't, but you did say it. She agrees to go along with it, and goes back to the table and tells the kids that they're all going to support Tom. The kids grumble, and one of the twins tells Lynette that they'll be putting Tom and Lynette in a cheap nursing home 30 years from now when they're old and feeble.
Gaby shows up at her jeweler, who has her bracelet ready. She tells him she can't afford it now, unless he can give her a good price. By "good," she suggests that he give it to her and call his insurance and say it was stolen. He looks like he can't decide if she's serious, and I can't either, but then she says she didn't think so, so I think she actually was. He apologizes and suggests something less expensive, but she sees Brad walk by outside and excuses herself. She goes outside and watches Brad get into a car with a blonde (Maria is very brunette) and start making out with her. She stands there in shock, and he looks up and sees her there. He drives away with panic written all over his face.
Gaby arrives home eager to tell Carlos what happened. So eager she comes in the front door and yells, "Carlos, get in here! I got a real shockeroo for you! You are not going to believe this!" Carlos does come in, but with Brad. Gaby's surprised to see him there, and she asks him what's going on. Carlos tells her Brad stopped by with great news: He's getting the bonus after all. He went to the CFO and said his right-hand guy had to have a bonus. Carlos asks what kind of guy does that, and Gaby says she thinks she knows what kind. She wants to know how much, and when he starts at $20,000, she points out how Carlos's hard work is what's brought Brad and Maria back together. He goes up to $25,000, but she points out that you can't put a price on saving a marriage. She then mentions the jewelry story to the Lexington Hotel, and Brad jumps it up to $30,000. But he asks them not to say anything, since no one else is getting a bonus. Gaby leaves the men, saying all of this negotiating stuff goes right over her head. Hardly.
Bree's cooking as Orson's on his computer laughing. He says, "Thunder McFadden! What a hoot!" If she is cooking for work, I think I can see why he doesn't make that much money, since he's on his computer reading forwards while she's slaving over a hot stove. She wants to know what he's doing, though, so he explains it's his porn name. You take the name of your childhood pet and the street you grew up on, and that's the name you use. His buddy, who sent him the e-mail, is Snoop Windermere. (I'm Sushi Melrose, by the way.) He asks who she would be, but she says she's preparing a buffet for 200, so doesn't have time to explore her career in the adult film industry. Exactly! No cost-of-living raise for lazy Orson. He tells her that's why people find her so rigid -- because she can never just let go and have fun. She says, "Coco Sagitawk," and asks if he's happy. He is, and starts to take off, when she realizes it could also be Munchy Cedarhurst or Taffy Swallow. He asks which one she'd save in a burning building if she could only save one, and she says it would be Munchy. She then explains that she was rambunctious and her father sent her to a farm where she could run free. Orson says this was fun, and leaves.
Scavo's is all of a sudden busy, and Lynette and Tom are working hard. Lynette asks Penny for two salads, but Penny's upset since Parker told her the only reason Lynette has her making salads is because it's a job for babies. Penny says she also can't find her Band-aid. So Lynette's going to make the salads and asks Penny to fill water glasses. Parker gives Lynette change for one of her tables. She tells him it's not enough change, but he knows. He's figured out that you can short people 1 percent, up to 3 if they're drinking. She tells him to make salads; she'll handle the register. But then she hears the twins arguing over a table. They both want it because there is a hot lady there. Lynette says she'll wait on that table. She puts them on cash register and busing tables. Tom calls Lynette over and points out how happy everyone is and how smoothly everything is running (riiiiiiiight). He says he won't say, "I told you so." He better not, or Lynette might just kill him.
Mike shows up at Susan's, because he was apparently summoned. She's annoyed Mike's using Katherine to raise their kid. Mike doesn't see what the big deal is since he has to work and Katherine has some free time. He says it's better for everyone, but Susan says it's not better for her, especially since she wasn't told about it. So he tells her that he has to work Friday, so Katherine will pick MJ up from school. Susan says no. Mike reminds her that he has custody on Fridays, but she reminds him that she agreed to custody so that MJ could spend time with his father. Mike asks if Susan has a problem with Katherine. Susan doesn't, of course, but she's not the one who took Susan to court to hammer out this agreement. If Mike would like, Susan will go back to court and the judge can explain the difference between Mike and his girlfriend. MJ comes in and asks if they're fighting. Susan says they're not; they're just trying to figure out what's best for MJ. Mike obviously is thinking what we all think: Susan is only thinking about she wants, not what's best for anyone -- MJ included.
Orson comes in as Bree's arranging flowers and blurts, "Andrew makes twice as much as me?!" Bree asks who told him that, and he says a little bird. Or a little dog named Munchy. She tells him he's shameful for asking the names of her pets that way. He thinks what she's paying Andrew is shameful. She says Andrew's been with her since she launched the company and he knows every aspect of the business and deserves what he's making. Orson says he's her husband, for crying out loud, and she says, "Yes, Orson, we're all perfectly aware of how you got the job." Ouch. Then he says he's more educated than any of them, since he went to grad school and is a dentist. She says he was a dentist, but now he's in the catering business, where he's paid fairly based on his expertise and contribution (such as: reading email while Bree cooks for 200). He says this isn't about money, but about value (um, what?! How can he pretend this isn't about money?), and he's saying he's worthless. She says, "No. I'm just saying you're worth less." Then she apologizes and says she's just being honest. He says that's fine, but since they're being honest, Munchy didn't go to a farm; that's what parents tell their kids when they've just had their pets gassed.
Maria shows up at Gaby's asking for advice on buying a golf club. Gaby assumes it's to beat the crap out of Brad, so she says a baseball bat would be cheaper. Maria's all, "Huh?" And Gaby tells her to go ahead and finish first. Maria's looking for a golf club as a gift for Brad, and she thought Carlos might be able to help her find out what kind of driver Brad wants. Gaby says they'd love to help out, and asks what the occasion is. There is no occasion; she just wants to thank him for being a wonderful husband. Gaby tells her not to spend too much, and suggests a card. Maria says her marriage counselor told them to get gifts for each other now and then to keep things spontaneous. Carlos walks in the house, in the room, but Gaby and Maria don't see him. Gaby asks about the counseling, which it turns out Maria and Brad don't need anymore. Gaby asks if she's sure about that, and Carlos looks horrified in the room. He calls Gaby to the front room, and then takes her to the front porch and asks why he'd repay Brad for the huge bonus by telling Maria they need marriage counseling. Gaby says she thinks they do. Carlos thinks they're a very happy couple, and Gaby asks who is: Brad and Maria or Brad and the blonde she saw him kissing. Carlos doesn't believe it at first, but quickly realizes it must be true. And then just as quickly realizes that he is getting a bonus based on blackmail. Gaby says, "You're welcome." He can't believe Gaby did this, but is glad she came to her senses and wants to go inside and tell Maria. Gaby says they can't do that, or they'd have to give the money back. He thinks it's their moral responsibility, but now she thinks it's none of their business. And we all know Gaby gets her way in everything, so obviously they don't tell Maria.
Susan storms onto Katherine's porch once again, and goes inside, where Katherine and MJ are in the kitchen in chef's hats. Susan says she got Katherine's message, and was surprised because Mike had promised to pick MJ up from school himself. Katherine tells Susan about Miss Nelson's latest plumbing emergency and her oat bran diet, but Susan doesn't want to hear anything about it. After all, it's not about Susan. Okay, actually, in this case, I'm grateful Susan didn't want to hear more, because I certainly didn't either. MJ tells Susan they had paninis for dinner, and asks if she wants some. She doesn't. MJ doesn't want to leave yet because he and Katherine were going to make brownies for dessert. Susan says they can make brownies at home, but he's all, "The box kind? Because Katherine says those aren't real brownies." Susan glares at Katherine, who tells MJ, "Except when your mommy makes them with love." Susan gives Katherine a sarcastic, "Good save," and I really want to punch her. I have never cared much about Katherine one way or another, but Susan's meanness and jealousy is really putting me totally behind Katherine.
As Susan and MJ leave, Katherine follows and says that she knows Susan was surprised to find MJ there, but she was really trying to do Susan a favor. Susan says she doesn't need favors; she needs everyone to stick to the plan, which means Mike watches MJ, and doesn't pawn him off on his girlfriend. She pulls MJ out, but he comes back to tell Katherine he had a really fun time. Susan drags him away like the wonderful, caring mother she is.
A group of high school kids comes in to Scavo's to eat, and the twins are throwing off their aprons and heading out the back. They say they're taking a break. Tom tries to stop them since they just got a big party, and they're all, "Good luck with that, we're out of here." Susan and Tom follow, and Porter says that those are kids from their school and "the big one" called him Jesus for a year because he wore sandals one day (well, yeah, but you wore sandals in high school, and you're a guy, so you were totally asking for it, right?). If he sees Porter in this apron, he'll never hear the end of it. Okay, first, what's he going to call you? The Iron Chef? How is that or "Jesus" an insult? And, also, doesn't Porter get made fun of for bigger things like sleeping with an old woman, and being accused of murder and arson? Tom tells him to keep his apron on, but Porter says he's not waiting on someone who's going to make fun of him at school; it's humiliating enough to work here. Tom's upset, because he says they're not humiliated when the money from this place buys their clothes. Lynette says it's fine; she'll take the table. Tom tells Porter to go take the table. Porter says, "Or what, you're going to fire me? Go for it!" Tom starts raging, getting all veiny and red-faced, shaking Porter and telling him he's put everything he has into this business. Lynette gets in between them, and then Parker comes in and says he just sat a "12 top" (hey! Parker has the lingo down, at least), and wants to know who's taking it. Tom is.
Later that night, Tom's still at the restaurant, going through papers when Lynette comes in from the kitchen. He says he's getting their accounts in order, since they should know exactly what this place is worth if they're going to sell it. She realizes what a good man Tom is -- that he's going to sell this place because he sees what it's doing to their family, and he knows that it's not remotely worth that -- and she starts kissing him. She thinks this can all wait until morning, so he turns off the open sign (for the last time?).
Edie tells Creepy Dave she booked them into the Brunswick Inn for the weekend. He says, "Great!" But then he tells her this weekend won't work because Mike really wants the camping trip they've been talking about. Edie's like, "Camping? Have you met me?" He says he figured she'd say that, but he can't blow Mike off, because he needs this right now. She tells him to have fun wiping with leaves, but she's out. He asks her not to tell Katherine, because Mike really wants Katherine to go, and if she hears Edie's not going, she won't go. Edie makes him promise that they'll go the Brunswick Inn weekend, and she says she won't tell Katherine. Man, I think she is going to feel guilty if this really does lead to Katherine getting killed. Edie leaves the room and Creepy Dave goes in to Dr. Heller's phone and sends a text that says, "Almost done. Will be back by the 15th." Uh, okay, but how? Is he planning to impersonate him or something? Or he just knows that, by that point, he can go ahead and get caught and not care? Maybe he's planning a murder-suicide?
Brad and Maria come over to tell Gaby and Carlos they're pregnant and want Gaby and Carlos as godparents because they're such good people - kind-hearted and decent. They are feeling completely guilty, obviously, because they haven't told Maria what they know, which makes them feel like they aren't very good people. Gaby says they can't say no to that, and the ladies hug. Maria notices Gaby got her bracelet after all, and Gaby says she did, but she's not enjoying it as much as she thought she would. I think she was totally happier poor, but she'd never admit that.
Susan comes in to give MJ lunch and a movie. She's going to take a shower. He looks at his sandwich like it's no good, and she asks what's wrong. It's peanut butter. He says he wants a panini, and Susan says she doesn't know how to make them. That is the only moment in this whole thing that made me feel a little sympathy for her. She doesn't know how, so this is all possibly about her feeling inadequate, and like Katherine is somehow not just better for Mike, but also better for MJ. That would be a hard feeling. But I think that is just a tiny part of this, and most of it is Susan's selfishness, so I won't feel that bad. MJ tells Susan it's just turkey and cheese, and asks if they have any provolone. She says they don't eat "pretentious" cheese in this house, and tells him to watch his movie while she takes a shower.
He shows up on Katherine's doorstep asking if she'll make him a panini. She says sure, and asks if his mommy knows he's here. He shakes his head yes, but after Susan's behavior about him being over there, she has to know better than that, doesn't she? Apparently not, because Susan comes out of the shower in a robe, toweling her hair, and finds MJ missing but his sandwich still there. She takes off running through the street in her robe, yelling for MJ. She only knows where he is when she sees him in the window, not because she applied any sort of logic, of course. Susan comes in and asks what's going on. Katherine says he wanted a panini, and said Susan knew he was there. She tells him to go wait on the porch so she can talk to Katherine, and he looks at her, then at the sandwich, then at her. She says, "You can take the sandwich." Man, that must be a good sandwich. He takes it and goes outside. Katherine says he showed up on the doorstep and seemed hungry. Susan asks if she thinks she doesn't feed him. Katherine says, okay, then, maybe he just wanted to see her. Susan's all, "Yeah, because you make it like Disneyland over here, with your paninis and your blackjack." I don't know about you, but I always go to Disneyland for the paninis and blackjack. She says Katherine's trying to make MJ think she's the other mommy. Katherine: "What?" Susan accuses Katherine of trying to get her hooks deeper into Mike by showing him how much MJ loves her. Man, she is totally a crazy person. Katherine says, "Susan, I am being nice to the child of the man I'm dating. That doesn't make me evil." Wow. Logic. But Susan's not having any of it. She says Katherine's not evil, but devious. Then she says Katherine's plan isn't going to work, because MJ is not allowed to be here anymore; only at Susan's or Mike's. Katherine says that will be tricky since Mike's moving in here at the first of the month. So MJ is going to be spending a lot of time here, whether Susan likes it or not.
Orson comes in to work and Andrew tells him he counted the goblets and found they're short by about thirty so he has to run to the supplier and pick up some more. He asks if Orson can hold down the fort for him. Orson says no problem, but I really don't think Orson knows how to do anything here, let alone hold down the fort. Andrew thanks him and, as he leaves, Orson tells him how lucky Bree is to have Andrew here, since it never would have occurred to him to do a recount of the goblets. Andrew tells him that means a lot to him, and thanks him. Orson's compliment seems sincere, but as soon as Andrew leaves, Orson pockets his Mont Blanc.