By DeAnn Welker
We flash back in time this week, courtesy of Mary Alice's voiceover, to find out all about Eddie. Turns out he's had close relationships with each of the women on Fairview, and all of the interactions have helped shape him into the Fairview Strangler he is today. First there was Mary Alice, who tried to befriend his mother Barbara back when her husband left her and Eddie was four. But Barbara was too busy trying to get drunk and find a new man. When Mary Alice finally forced her to stay home with Eddie, she told him she ruined her life. Nice work, Mary Alice. Then there was Gaby, who met him when he was nine, and she'd just moved to the lane. She was lonely, and so was he, so when he snuck into her house, she didn't mind -- especially since he unpacked boxes and cooked for her. When Carlos told her it was weird and she needed to make friends her own age, Eddie didn't take it well. He rushed home, grabbed his BB gun, and shot a bird. So, Gaby's the first one who actually drove him to kill something.
up was Bree, when Eddie was in high school and painting her house for cash. He told her girls didn't like him, so she encouraged him to pursue the girl he wanted, and gave him wooing tips. When he used them on Danielle, Bree went to his house to tell him she didn't like him that way. Unfortunately, his mom answered instead and Bree told her, who relayed the message as, "Stop stalking her daughter." He went back to work for Bree, who told him he'd find a girl who would say yes someday. Which led him to a prostitute, who laughed at him when he gave her flowers. After all the years of his mother laughing at him, it was too much and he killed the pro, horrified at himself. Then was Susan, who noticed his ability at art and became his tutor. This was during the time Mike was dating Katherine, so he watched her sad and miserable because of Mike. When Eddie outgrew Susan's teaching ability, she got him classes at the Art Institute, but when he returned to tell her how it went, she was two hours from marrying Mike. Eddie didn't understand how she could marry someone who hurt her, and said she could marry him instead. She laughed at him, and said he knew just what to do to make her feel better, by joking. Then she invited him to the wedding. He was there, in the back row, and afterward, he hung around until she took out the trash. But it was Julie, and we all know how that went.
Then, in the present, Eddie's hanging out at the Scavos' playing charades when his mom, drunk, comes over and tells him he has to come home. Lynette stands up to her, but Barbara talks back and Lynette lets them leave. The day, Eddie comes back, upset, to fix Lynette's car. While he's there working on it, Lynette tells Tom she's disappointed in them for not doing more for someone who clearly is too damaged to help himself get away from his mother. While they're talking, Eddie returns home to his mother, who has found his scrapbook of all of his killings, and asks him if he hurt those girls. He cries and says he did, and she says she didn't raise him that way. When he says she actually did, she goes to call the cops, but he hits her over the head with her bottle of Scotch and then strangles her. As he's leaving the house, teary-eyed, Lynette shows up to invite him to come and live with them, because this situation isn't healthy. Then she sees his mom's hand, and assumes she's passed out. He goes along, and says he will live with them. In the end, MAVO tells us that monsters are made by other monsters as Eddie packs his mom's body into his trunk.
Watch a video recap of the episode here, discuss it in our forums, then see why we'd never live in Fairview.
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Previously, someone strangled Julie, and then the coffeeshop girl, scaring the neighborhood. Lynette got rid of gold digger Irina, then Eddie killed her, revealing himself as the Wisteria Strangler. Now, Mary Alice's voiceover tells us there is a house in Fairview, with a monster living in it who kills young women. "You may ask how such a monster came to be. And that's a very good question, indeed." Eddie peers out the window as his mother, a haggard-looking Diane Farr, tells him she needs more Scotch. He says he'll get her some, and rubs her shoulder reassuringly, but she thinks there's some in his room. So, when he leaves to help Lynette with her car and pick up the Scotch, she tears apart his room looking for booze, but she finds his scrapbook of killings, ending with an article about Julie's attack. Title card.
MAVO picks back up as Mary Alice is running. In the flesh. She explains how she met Eddie when he was four. She stops her run to talk to Eddie in his front yard, then ends up watching his mom and dad fight, as the dad says he never wanted a kid and is leaving. Mary Alice interrupts and tells them they don't want to talk like this in front of their kid. Diane Farr (not yet haggard), whose name is Barbara, begs him not to leave her "alone," then calls Eddie to her after he leaves. Mary Alice shows up a few days later to check in, with a pot of homemade mac and cheese. Barbara reluctantly lets Mary Alice in, and they talk about her sad life: She's all alone with a four-year-old to raise, hates her mother, has no friends and probably won't find a new boyfriend, either. Mary Alice tells her she'll find love; she just has to look for it. Eddie sweetly tells Mary Alice goodbye. Barbara looks at her son with disdain.
Mary Alice rings the door again a few days later, bearing a teddy bear. No one answers, but Eddie's in the window. He says he's not supposed to open the door, because his mom's gone and he doesn't have a sitter. Mary Alice asks where his mother is, and thing we know, she shows up at a bar where Sheryl Crow's playing and Barbara's tramping it up with some trashy drunk. Mary Alice lectures Barbara, and reveals to the trashy drunk that Barbara's a mother. Mary Alice hauls Barbara's ass home, where Barbara makes excuses for leaving him alone. She knows how wrong it is, and she promises Mary Alice she'll never do anything like this again. But she does really need a man. I'm not sure why that's so awkward for Mary Alice, but she leaves right at that moment. First, though, she tells Barbara to always put her child's need first; that's what being a mother is. Barbara agrees, and when Mary Alice leaves, she hugs Eddie and says, "Oh, Eddie. It's not your fault you ruined my life." Not exactly what Mary Alice meant by putting his needs first.
MAVO tells us Gaby first met Eddie when she moved to Wisteria. She's alone in her big, old house, waiting for the movers, when she screams at Carlos on the phone for working, then hears a noise and finds Eddie in the tub. He's been sneaking in and playing since the house was empty. At first she tells him to leave, until he tells her she's beautiful and then offers to help her unpack. And we all know Gaby... Cut to little Eddie giving Gaby a pedicure when her doorbell rings. She makes him hide on the floor with her so none of the other "Stepford wives" in the neighborhood will bug her. She basically insults all of her current friends, based on her first impressions. Gaby tells Eddie that if he can sew she's locking him in her basement and keeping him. He thinks it's cool, but she tells him she's kidding and then asks about his mom. He says she has a new boyfriend and wants him gone, then he offers to cook Gaby dinner.
Gaby's doing dishes later, yelling at her housekeeper for not showing up to do them for her. Carlos comes in to surprise her with a lunchtime bath. When he has to go back to work, she's a little disappointed it was a nooner, but asks him for five more minutes. Which is, of course, when Eddie walks in. And instead of doing what a normal kid would do and running right out, he stands there and even responds to Carlos's "Who are you?" with "Who's this guy?" Gaby yells at him to get out. Soon enough, Carlos is lecturing her for having a weird friendship with a 9-year-old. Gaby's worried about him because his mom doesn't care about him, so she's thinking of going and talking to her. Carlos says no, it's not her business, and tells her to cut him loose and go make a life for herself. She finds Eddie in her front yard, upset, and breaks it to him that they can't really hang out so much anymore, because they both need friends their own age. He tells her she's not pretty and runs off. He sneaks in while his mom's drunkenly making out with some guy on the couch, goes to his room for his BB gun, takes it outside and shoots a bird, a la Betty Draper.
MAVO fills us in on Bree hiring Eddie to help her paint. It's finally the same actor who plays our current Eddie, but with shorter hair so we don't think he's the same age. Bree overpays him for painting, and he won't accept the cash. She tells him to spend it on his girlfriend, but he gives it back and says girls never notice him. She pep-talks him on how to woo whatever girl he likes, because she's probably noticing him back and wondering why he doesn't introduce himself. She tells him that starting a conversation with a genuine compliment is great, and then he can woo her with little gifts. He wonders how he'll afford that, and she gives him back the money he wouldn't take before. He smiles sweetly at Bree.
Haggardizing Diane Farr is watering her haggardizing yard when Bree shows up looking for Eddie. He's not there, so Bree fills her in on how she gave Eddie advice on how to talk to girls, and how now he's been sending gifts to Bree's daughter, Danielle. Barbara makes fun of it, but Bree says it was a lovely gesture. Barbara: "Say no more. She's out of his league." Bree tries to pretend she wasn't saying that, but she totally was. Barbara promises to say something to him, and Bree asks her to let him down easy. He walks in then, and Barbara says, "This woman says you've been stalking her daughter." Bree says she didn't say that, and Eddie says he was trying to woo Danielle. Barbara laughs at him, and Bree tries to stop her to no avail. Eddie asks his mom not to laugh at him, but she's the worst possible caricature of a mother, so she doesn't.
A few days later, Eddie's back at Bree's, and she's happy to see him again after not showing up for a few days. He needed the money, or he wouldn't be back. Bree tells him she doesn't blame him for being angry, and then he makes fun of himself for being a nerdy freak wanting to date a popular cheerleader, but Bree says all she sees is a nice young boy who's been mistreated. She also tells him Danielle would be happy to talk to him, as a friend. He turns and cries that he doesn't want a friend; he wants someone to love him. Bree, "Of course you do." She tells him there's someone out there for him if he's patient. She finishes with: "There are girls out there who will say 'yes' to you. You just have to find them." Cut to a prostitute telling him "yes" as he gives her money. She tries to lead him into an alley, but he runs back to the car to get flowers for her. She laughs loudly at him, and since he obviously hates to be laughed at because of his crazy/mean mother, he kills her in the alley. I don't think they tell us how old he's supposed to be here, but it's definitely high school. So, he got started on this whole strangling thing at a young age. Creepy.
MAVO tells us about Susan first noticing Eddie, the boy who sold her coffee (remember, he was on the shift at the coffee shop the morning after the girl's murder). Then Susan notices him drawing. She compliments him, and then offers to teach him. He thinks that would be great and then gives her whatever she wants for free. Her drink order leads to talk of Mike, whom Susan tells Eddie is her ex-husband now, and is dating the woman across the street. Eddie tells her a lot of people would want to date her. Cut ahead to a few weeks later, when she's at her kitchen table with him, complimenting his progress with drawing. She thinks he's gotten so good that she signed him up for two weeks at the Art Institute, and she's already paid for it. He gets teary and says it's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for him. He thinks his mom won't let him go, but Susan looks out the window at Mike and then tells him that the kind of love he has for art is the kind of thing he needs to keep fighting for, and he can't care what his mom says. She hugs him, and it's obvious he has the hots.
Awhile later, Eddie shows up at Susan's with an art portfolio and coffee drinks and treats. He's finished the classes and wants to show her his work, but she comes down the stairs in a wedding dress. He's actually confused: "Why are you wearing that?" She tells him she's marrying Mike, and Eddie's incredulous: "But he divorced you. He made you so unhappy." Susan: "He did. But then this madman kidnapped MJ, and so I went after him and then Mike came after us and saved us both. And we fell back in love." (Oh, and she sort of told it wrong; she didn't go after MJ: She went with him on the fishing/kidnapping trip.) Eddie doesn't think that makes any sense, and I totally agree. But that was Season 5 for you. She really wants the chocolate éclair Eddie brought her, but doesn't want to ruin her dress. She's having second thoughts, so Eddie tells her not to go through with it, and to marry him instead. She laughs, and he starts to get his don't-laugh-at-me rage face on, until she tells him how sweet he was to see her freaking out and know she needed a laugh. She doesn't know what she'd do without him, so she invites him to the church for the wedding. He looks at a picture he drew of her. Not that it's surprising, but he's really creeping it up here with Susan. Why her? Why does this show want us to think she's so amazing that everyone would love her most?
Wedding scene from the finale, and the premiere. Eddie's in the back. Then he's in a hooded sweatshirt in the dark, lurking outside her house. He watches a woman he thinks is her take out the recycling, but we know it's Julie. He chokes her from behind until she collapses. He gets worried, and says, "Julie!?" Then takes off. At the hospital, he's sitting by her bedside when Susan tells him it's so sweet of him to visit. She can't believe it happened and keeps asking herself how there's this kind of evil in the world. "What kind of monster would do this to her?" Eddie says it wasn't a monster, because they're big and strong, and "This was done by some weak insignificant piece of garbage who doesn't belong on this earth." He thinks that person should do the world a favor and kill himself, but Susan thinks he's too cowardly for that. Why would she know that the killer is too cowardly to kill himself? That makes no sense to me, though it leads to this completely pointless response from Eddie: "You're right."
MAVO tells us about the game night when Lynette was clued in to the truth about Eddie's life. We know it's recent, because Lynette's very pregnant. And if we hadn't noticed this, Tom makes it clear in charades, when Lynette gestures at herself, and Tom says: "You. Ooh, ooh, pregnant! Bloated! Swollen! Huge!" Ha. Lynette tells him she's a lady, and he guesses a bunch of crap until Eddie says, "My Fair Lady," which is correct. The doorbell rings, and it's haggard Diane (emphasis on "hag"). Lynette tries to invite her in, but she's having none of it, though she makes a snide comment about her invitation getting lost in the mail. Tom and Lynette try to protect Eddie from Barbara's abuse. Lynette tells her she shouldn't talk to her son that way, and Barbara asks if he's her pet project: "You feed him a little dinner and let him play your stupid games so you feel good about yourself?" Lynette looks startled and Barbara tells her she has her number and leaves with Eddie.
day (or so it seems), Eddie is looking out the window again, and this time we see he's looking at a happy mother and young son. He smiles. We know it's the same time as the first of the episode when Barbara asks him for Scotch and thinks there's some in his room. He leaves again to go fix Lynette's car and get her some. This time we get Eddie's perspective first, as he shows up to fix Lynette's car. She asks how things are at home, and he changes the subject to ask if the tools are in the garage so he can get started. His mom busts his bedroom door down when Tom and Lynette talk in the kitchen about Eddie. She's so livid about the night -- not at Barbara, but at them for letting Barbara talk to Eddie like that. Tom says they can't do anything, but Lynette says everyone says that, but they all know she's a drunken nightmare, and they know bad things are happening in that house, but they do nothing. She says she's tired of doing nothing, and Tom points out Eddie's an adult and can leave when he wants. Lynette thinks he's too damaged to know how to leave. Tom asks where she's going with his.
Eddie arrives home with his mom's Scotch, but she's holding his scrapbook, and asks him why he would collect all of these articles about girls in Fairview who have been strangled or murdered. He looks down, and she begs him to tell her the truth: Did he have anything to do with it? He cries and barely nods yes. She falls backward in disgust and tears, asking how he could do this, since she didn't raise him to be like this. Eddie: "Didn't you?" She asks what that's supposed to mean, because this isn't her fault. He tells her to sit back down since she's upset, and he offers her something to drink. Buts she says he's going to try to blame her, so screw him. She picks up the phone to call the police, and he tells her to put it down. She tells him she's always said the worst mistake she's ever made is having him. So he hits her on the back of the head with the bottle of Scotch. It ruins her call, but only causes enough damage to keep her out for a second. She lunges at him, and he strangles her, with the teddy bear Mary Alice gave him in the foreground and a picture of them together on the mantle behind them.
When she's dead, Eddie's crying and heads out front, but Lynette's standing there. She sweetly asks him if he's okay, since he's trembling. He says he was on his way out, so she'll make it quick. She asks him to move in with them. Eddie laughs, sort of like, "You couldn't have asked me a week ago?" She tells him this isn't a healthy situation and he says, "Yeah, I guess it could be better." Just then Lynette notices Barbara's arm sticking out by the couch where her body's lying on the floor. She says "Oh my god," and Eddie's face turns briefly to rage. But Lynette finishes: "Is she passed out?" He says she is, and Lynette says this is why he needs to come live with them. He agrees. Lynette tells him to pack his bags and head over, then offers to help him pack or come back later to talk to his mom. Eddie: "Believe me, Mrs. Scavo. She wouldn't hear a word." She says okay and leaves pleased with herself.
As Eddie wraps up his mom's body in a shower curtain and puts it in the trunk of the car (but it's a trunk with a back window -- which is not the same car he picked Irina up in, by the way -- and it leaves her face exposed to any passer-by, which seems idiotic), MAVO starts back at the beginning, and then finishes: "There is a house in the town of Fairview. Inside this house lives a monster. The kind who kills women. You may wonder how a monster like that came to be. The answer is simple: Monsters are created by other monsters."
week: Gaby seduces Carlos, but so does -- weirdly -- Susan. Gaby accuses someone of having an affair with him. Bree tells Orson and Andrew she's afraid of Sam. Someone (it looks like Nick) gets hit by a car.
Watch a video recap of the episode here, discuss it in our forums, then see why we'd never live in Fairview.
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DeAnn, a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon, thinks this show is getting a little too good at making its villains sympathetic; how about one that's just plain bad now? You can contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com.