This episode begins the morning after Julie was attacked (I would say "strangled," but that implies death, which didn't happen here). She's still lying in the grass, in the same position her attacker left her in when Mrs. McCluskey and her boyfriend, Roy, discover her. Surprisingly enough, though, she's alive. We relive what was going on with each housewife in the ten minutes before Mrs. McC screamed at discovering the body (and/or not having her "I love you" to her boyfriend reciprocated). Basically, Gaby's teaching Ana how to get the guy (said guy being new kid Danny); Lynette's hiding her pregnancy from her kids; Bree's having sex with Karl; Susan and Mike are happily waking up in bed together, as husband and wife; Katherine's at Orson's looking for Bree; Bob's reading the paper. Then the scream changes everything.
Everyone gathers on their lawns to see if they can do anything. Everyone, that is, except the new family. They're inside trying to deal with the realization that everyone's going to blame Danny. It doesn't help matters that he was out drinking last night and doesn't even remember where he was or what he was doing. When he becomes the prime suspect, his mom convinces him to get Ana to lie and say she snuck out and was with him. Gaby figures out Ana's lying about this, though, and makes her come clean to the cops, so the episode ends with Danny's arrest as the whole neighborhood watches.
Julie spends the whole episode in a coma in the hospital, waking up just long enough to catch Bree and Karl kissing. They're doing a lot of that now, and it seems it's more than an affair. When Bree uses Karl as a hypothetical example of whom Katherine could have been with instead of Mike, Susan says that would have been even worse because of how badly Karl treated her. But Karl needs Bree, and it looks like she's going to keep things going with him. Susan gives a tearful speech to Lynette, who reveals she's pregnant and considering her options. This convinces Lynette she wants these babies, and she ends the episode this close to telling her kids she's preggers. Katherine is trying to win Mike back, and spreading rumors that he hit on her while Susan was at the hospital with Julie. (I am more and more convinced Katherine did it; that would be the less obvious and cooler outcome than it being Danny or Nick). And Gaby's dealing with Ana's brattiness and lying and boy-craziness. Mrs. McCluskey is still the one who seems to know the most about everything, and she even manages to get an "I love you" out of her boyfriend by the end of the episode. Oh, and Julie's alive.
Previously: Susan married Mike, and it pissed Katherine off. Lynette doesn't love the twins she's pregnant with. Gaby became Ana's guardian. Bree started an affair with Karl. A new family moved in on Wisteria Lane, and then Julie was strangled. But don't mourn her yet, folks. Mary Alice's voiceover starts out all about Mrs. McC and how she met Roy (it's Bob!), the guy she told Gaby about last week. To make a long and tedious story short, she liked him, he liked her, they flirted, they had sex, she thought she might love him, then decided to tell him. So, they go for a walk and she works up the nerve to tell him. She tells him how much she likes having him around, since he puts the seat down and can drive at night. This is how old people sweet-talk, I guess. She talks about her dead husband and meatloaf, and ends with "I love you, Roy." She asks if he has anything to say and he says she knows how he feels. She'd like to hear the words, but he screams, "What the hell?!" and runs over to Julie, lying in the grass, the day after she was attacked. THE DAY. He's calling 911, as Mrs. McC looks on. Mary Alice isn't sure if it's because of Roy finding Julie's body or because she thinks he's not going to tell her he loves her back, but she screams. And we get a close-up of her mouth as she does so, which was totally unnecessary. Main titles.
"Ten Minutes Earlier." Mary Alice tells us how nicely the morning had begun: Bob reads the Sports section. Celia's playing with her doll (and, because she's a Solis daughter, banging it against the porch railing). And Mrs. McC and Roy are starting their walk. At Susan's, she's awake and putting on makeup while Mike sleeps. Then she wakes him and kisses him. He thinks this is all perfect, with her breath mint and everything. She thinks it could be better, and gives him a breath mint, too. They can't believe they got married last night. I mean, it totally felt like it had happened before. Mike interrupts them before they get to have morning-after-wedding sex. Susan's so happy with her life, with all of them back together and Julie back home. Then Mrs. McC screams outside.
Casa de Solis. Ana's on the phone with Danny, trying to get him to hang out. He blows her off, which Gaby points out as soon as Ana's off the phone. Ana claims she could get him herself, but is happy to hear some of Gaby's pointers. Gaby tells her the secret to landing a guy is ignoring him. Be too busy. End the conversations. Etc. That's how she got Carlos. He tries to pretend she didn't, but she gives us the stats: He sat through six runway shows before she'd date him. She backed out of their first date by saying she was sick. He's mad to find out she wasn't really sick, since he rented a yacht, but Gaby tells him to "Eat your waffles! I'm teaching!"
Bolen House of Weird. Danny's getting off the other end of that phone conversation with Ana, then his parents are grilling him on where he went last night. He says he went out because he couldn't sleep, and he went a lot of places. His dad drove around looking for him, but Danny's a smartass about it. Angie tells Nick to go shower and spends some time bonding with Danny, which is mostly just exposition to get viewers to know that these two have a special relationship, which means that she fights his battles for him. He tells her he went out drinking, that's all. She tells him she knows this move has been hard, but couldn't he try to be happy? She thanks him for being honest, but smacks him for drinking. Mrs. McC screams.
Scavo house. Parker asks if Lynette threw up in the bathroom. When she confirms it, Porter says that if she weren't so old, he'd think she was pregnant. Tom almost tells them the truth, but Lynette pretends she ate bad seafood last night, even though they all ate together at Mike and Susan's wedding. She pretends she went out somewhere and ate clams, though she can't remember where. She just remembers seeing a sign for "clams." Tom's looking on in awe that she can tell such a ridiculous story, but Parker's like, "Well, my point was: time, please flush." Porter loses his appetite, and the boys leave. Lynette reminds Tom they weren't going to tell the kids until after the first trimester and after they're sure everything's okay. He wonders if that's the only reason she's not telling. Mrs. McC screams.
Katherine knocks at Bree's, and Orson answers. He's hungover, and she's looking for Bree. He doesn't know where she is; he woke up and she was already gone. Katherine just wanted to let her know she's taking the morning off. Orson's sure Bree will understand, given all Katherine's been through with the Susan and Mike thing. Katherine's breezy about it, all "That won't last. Mike just feels sorry for Susan. He'll be back." Mrs. McC screams. Orson: "My thoughts exactly." Why would Bree choose Karl over him, again?
Seedy hotel. Bree and Karl finish having sex, and she tells him she's never done anything like this, because sex has always had to be about love or spirituality, but now she sees it's marvelous even without any of that. It gets a little weird when she scolds him for trying to do something dirty, and he says "Well, some people like it." They start to go again, but his phone rings. It's Mike, who tells him something's happened to Julie. Susan's with Julie, who's still lying in the grass. The whole neighborhood is out watching, wondering who would want to hurt such a nice girl. Carlos looks over and sees Danny walk out and look on. Mrs. McC notices him too. If they're setting this up so that Mrs. McC has some insider information, it's going to feel an awful lot like last season, isn't it? Commercials.
Gaby and Lynette head to the hospital, leaving a lot of men in their pajamas to discuss what just happened. No one can believe this happened, and Lee especially can't believe it was on their property: "It could have been me!" Everyone looks at him like the idiot he is, and he's like, "What? I've never had much upper body strength." Lee leaves, and Bob meekly apologizes for him and then follows him. That leaves Tom, Orson, and Carlos to start pointing the finger at the Bolens. Carlos first floats the theory, since none of them are out here to see how Julie is, when everyone else in the neighborhood is. And Carlos did see Danny coming out of a movie with Julie recently. Orson pontificates about how when women are attacked, it's usually a boyfriend or husband. Tom thinks maybe they should get to know the Bolens.
Inside the Bolens', Angie says everyone's looking over here and she doesn't think they're admiring the flowers. Nick points out that Danny was hanging out with Julie, then Mrs. McC saw him fighting with her, and now she turns up almost dead. Danny says he had nothing to do with that; he likes Julie. But he won't tell his dad what he and Julie were fighting about. Angie changes the subject, and asks Danny again where he was last night. He can't remember, because he drank so much it's a little fuzzy. Um, Danny, if you can't remember anything, that's more than "a little fuzzy." Nick wants to say Danny was home, but Angie says they can't do that since someone might have seen him out. She suggests they all go out and start hugging people so they don't look like they're hiding suspiciously.
Mrs. McC frets to Roy about the cops questioning everyone. She doesn't know what to do, because she doesn't want to point the finger at Danny -- kids fight, after all -- since she doesn't want another family hating her. Roy asks who hates her, and she says, "The gay guys. I've said stuff." An
d, also, the viewers. Roy tells her she has to do the right thing, but he'll be right there with her the whole time. Then he tells her he'd really miss her if she got hit by a bus. She's all, "That's it?" Then she says he's showering alone tonight, which is enough to elicit an "I love you." She asks if he means it or if that's just his beta-blockers talking. Roy: "We'll find out in an hour."At the hospital, a detective is grilling Susan, who can't think of anyone who would want to hurt Julie. She tells him Julie's not dating anyone, and then gets smart with him when he tells her he knows how difficult this must be. Lynette and Gaby come out of the elevator and ask how Julie is, but Susan hasn't heard from the doctor yet. The doctor comes out right then and says they'd like to do blood work and X-rays. Lynette stammers that she doesn't think they should give her an X-ray, and when they don't listen, she blurts that Julie's pregnant. Everyone's shocked, but the doctor says it's not a problem; he can give her an MRI. Susan follows the doctor and Mike, but not before glaring at Lynette. As if Julie's a little kid and it's Lynette's responsibility to tell Susan if she knows something about her. If she confided in her, it's not. Although, in Susan's world, everything is about her so I realize my logic is flawed by not using that as my basic tenet.
The Bolens, minus Danny, come out with some food for Mike and Susan. They're accosted by Orson, Tom, and Carlos -- who have apparently been hovering outside the whole time Angie made food? -- who eye them suspiciously and ask Nick if he's interested in joining the Neighborhood Watch they're thinking of starting up. It's about time, right? I mean, how many people had to die on this street before they decided to do something, but better late than never. Tom asks if Danny's shaken up since he was pretty close with Julie. They ask if Danny and Julie were dating, and Nick says they were just friends. Tom's like, "Really? Some people saw them at the movies." And friends never go to movies together, of course. Nick asks about the Neighborhood Watch and they play dumb. Nick tells them it seems like the only one they're watching is Danny. Angie interrupts with a fake phone call from Nick's mom. They walk off and whisper that it's time to get an alibi for Danny.
Katherine shows up at Mike and Susan's. Mike answers. She saw him drive in. I'd accuse her of stalking, but she lives across the street, so it could also be innocent. She gives them some food, which he says he knows Susan will appreciate. Katherine asks blankly about Julie, and then hugs Mike, telling him to stay strong. She doesn't let go, and he's like, "Uh. Katherine." Then she tries to kiss him. When he asks what she's doing, she says she's just letting him know she's here for him. Anytime. I love how completely Dana Delaney has embraced this particular brand of icy emotionlessness. So much better than the whiney Katherine we had to endure last season.
Casa de Solis. Detectives are questioning Ana on where she might have been last night. She says she was out with Danny Bolen. Gaby's surprised, since they have a strict 10 p.m. curfew, but Ana says she snuck out. Ana also says they bought some beer at a liquor store. She says Danny's the only one who can verify her whereabouts.
Hospital. Karl's pissed and ready to beat up the person who did this. Susan tells him she doesn't want anger in this room. He wonders who would have done this, and Susan doesn't know. Bree comes in to see Susan, and then greets Karl awkwardly. When Susan leaves to talk to Lynette, Bree says Susan can't ever know about this. Karl says he might need a little time to sort this out. He wants to see her again, but not now. They kiss, and then Julie's awake, looking at them like, "The hell?! Put me back in my coma!" She says, "Dad?" Commercials.
In the waiting room, Susan confronts Lynette about not telling her that Julie might be pregnant (she's not, by the way). Lynette says that she was in her yard, upset, a few days ago and they started talking, and Julie told her she might be pregnant. Susan wonders why Lynette didn't just immediately pick up the phone and call her. Well, other than the fact that Susan was getting married in a few days (which Lynette doesn't mention for some reason), Julie asked her not to. Susan wants to know who the guy is, but Lynette doesn't know that. Just that she'd gotten involved with someone and it's complicated. Susan says complicated means trouble, and Lynette should have told her if she knew her daughter was in trouble. Wow. Way to turn this around on a totally innocent person who was trying to be a comfort to your daughter. Susan could not be more self-involved. She even has the never to call what Lynette did betrayal. She yells and then leaves.
Gaby greets some sort of fix-it guy, who asks how "those two little precious ones" are. Gaby's confused, since most people don't call her kids precious. She says they're the least of her problems now that they've taken in a teenager. That's why she called him here: to take down this trellis that Ana's used to sneak out. The fix-it guy thinks the trellis couldn't hold more than the roses on it, but then: Why would she lie? Gaby looks like she might know a reason or two. She tries to climb it and it breaks.
Back in Julie's room, Karl's telling the doctor that he swears Julie opened her eyes and called him "Dad." The doctor believes him, and he says drifting in and out of consciousness is better than fully comatose. He says she's better off in a coma, though, because it helps the swelling on her brain. Karl goes to tell Susan, and Bree grills the doctor on whether Julie's going to remember what she saw. He thinks she will, so she pesters him until he says he has to go since there was a bus crash.
Casa de Solis. Gaby says Ana's a liar, since Gaby broke the trellis. Ana makes a fat joke. Which was idiotic back with "fat" Gaby, and is even more ridiculous now. She admits she was lying, and says she did it to get Danny to like her more, because Gaby's advice was totally lame. And she knows Danny didn't do it anyway. Gaby calls the cops, and says Ana's telling the truth, since Julie's lying in a hospital bed and it might have been Danny's fault.
Bree comes into Julie's room and gives Susan her love. They make small talk and then Bree gets to the point she's trying to get at, which is how much she enjoyed Susan's wedding, especially the part where Katherine and Susan made peace. Susan's glad someone enjoyed that, since it wasn't enough for Katherine. Susan doesn't know how Katherine can be the victim, since she took Mike from Susan first. Bree's like, "But, you and Mike were divorced." Susan says it doesn't matter, since women should never sleep with their friends' exes. Bree says Susan's feelings for Mike make this different than if Katherine had slept with, say, Karl. Susan says that would never happen, since Katherine's a lady, not a dumb skank who would fall for Karl. Then she adds that it would have been worse if it had been Karl, because he cheated and lied, and she'd never talk to any friend again who would know that and sleep with him anyway. Susan doesn't blame Bree for sticking up for Katherine, but she just doesn't need a friend like her. Especially when she has a friend like Bree. Seriously. One friend sleeping with one of your ex-husbands is quite enough.
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Now Orson's at Katherine's, collecting signatures on a get-well card for Julie. Katherine thinks she should sign it somewhere inconspicuous, what with the Susan situation. She then tells Orson that she knows he thought she was crazy this morning for saying what she did about Mike and Susan. She tells him that, for his information, she stopped by Mike and Susan's with a casserole. She says Mike was there, alone and he was grateful. Very grateful. Orson's like, "Why wouldn't he be?" Katherine's annoyed at Orson's lack of an ear for innuendo, so she says Mike made a pass at her. Orson's skeptical, with Julie in the hospital and his marriage a day old, but Katherine says he's clearly having second thoughts. She asks him not to tell Bree. Which shouldn't be a problem, since they've barely had a scene together yet this season.
Lynette finds Susan and apologizes. Actually, she says, "I'm sorry you're mad," which is the most annoying kind of apology, because it's being sorry for what someone else is feeling toward you instead of being sorry for anything you might have done to cause it. But whatever. Susan didn't deserve anything more than that anyway. And she says she's not mad, just upset that Julie opened up to Lynette instead of Susan. Lynette confides that the reason she was upset when Julie found her and opened up was because she's pregnant, and she told Julie that. Susan says that's amazing and then wonders why Lynette was crying. Lynette says she's in her 40s, her husband's in school, she's the sole breadwinner, she doesn't know how to do this again, and she can't quiet a voice in her mind telling her that maybe she shouldn't do this. She cries. Susan very sweetly and sincerely tells her to do whatever she thinks she needs to. Lynette: "I know. Lucky me." Susan says everyone talks about a kid being a gift, but it's the only gift that you puke for nine months before you receive it and then scream when it arrives. Lynette laughs, and Susan says, "They are a gift, Lynette. I know that because I've spent the last few hours thinking I was going to lose mine, and I realized that I'd trade everything I own, that I'd give everything I ever will have, for just one more day as Julie's mom." Lynette: "Awww." Susan says she's not telling her what she should do, though. Lynette says she actually is, and Lynette's glad. Does this mean she's going to love the twins now? Seems a little too conveniently wrapped-up for me.
Karl comes back to Julie's room to find Susan and Bree. He says he has work to do, but would rather work here than at the office. Susan calls Bree a saint for keeping her company all day. She gets a call from Lee, with an update about MJ. She leaves the room, leaving Karl and Bree alone with Julie again. Karl says this has been the longest day of his life. He says he was wrong about needing time to himself; he needs Bree. He booked their room at the motel, and passes the key to her in his briefcase. He says that if she could come by for even just an hour, it would mean a lot. This seems like more than the type of affair it was at the start of the episode, doesn't it? He says he doesn't want to be alone tonight. She doesn't either, so she takes the key.
Gaby approaches Angie when she's doing her recycling at night (didn't she learn from Julie's incident that it's not safe to do that on this street alone?!), and Angie starts to apologize for Danny keeping Ana out so late. She says she kicked Danny's butt for it, but Gaby says it never happened. She says Ana never left the house last night, and that Ana was lying about it all. Angie asks why she would lie, and Gaby says Danny told her to. Angie doesn't know what Gaby's implying, but Danny's a good kid, and Ana's the one who's been hounding him day or night. Gaby says she was just trying to give Angie a head's-up since Ana's talking to the police right now. She walks off, and Mrs. McC lurks, watching it all. What a snoop. Are there really nosey old ladies like that in the suburbs? Oh, wait. I live in the suburbs. The answer: No.
Angie heads back inside, and tells Danny she screwed up and never should have told him to ask that girl for an alibi. She says the cops will be here any second, and tells him not to waive his Miranda rights and they'll have a lawyer down there for him as soon as they can. She asks him to remember how a fish gets caught: by opening his mouth. She nods at him and looks at Nick. It's family unity.
Mary Alice talks about the horrible day, and how the people in the neighborhood are trying to recover. Lynette and Tom are about to tell their kids about the pregnancy, when her son sees a flashing light. Gaby is busy grounding her niece when she notices a police car pulling up across the street. Bree's planning a rendezvous with Karl when she sees Danny being taken out of his house. Mary Alice goes on: "Within moments, everyone had heard. The son of one housewife was suspected of strangling the daughter of another." Close-up of the Bolens, and then of Susan, who's watching across the street. Mary Alice: "Yes, it had been a horrible day, and the thought occurred to one old woman (Mrs. McC close-up): The days ahead could be worse." Oh, probably not.
week: Karl and Bree enjoy their affair, but then she sees him on a date with someone. Oh, and John's back. Carlos still wants to punch him and he thinks Gaby still has the hots for him. Because ... who wouldn't?
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