Previously: Jack is gay, in case you forgot. Ambiguously Gay Eric was ambiguous. Pacey and Audrey broke up. Pacey got fired. Jack and Jen made plans to go to Costa Rica. Dawson and Joey started dancing around the idea of a romantic relationship, because it's the end of the season and we're contractually obligated to revisit that idiotic plot line every single damn year. I considered jabbing a bread knife through my septum in hopes of keeping myself awake.
We open with Dawson riding the elevator at the airport. His cell phone rings, and he whips it out of his leather jacket while simultaneously examining the Arrival and Departure boards. It must be Pander on the other line, because Dawson says that "they're not sure if they're going to let me direct it yet." No shit, kid -- you're, like, twelve years old and utterly unproven. Why would a movie studio let you direct something? "I know, I'm excited, too," Dawson says. He turns and sees Joey standing on the other end of the bank of computers. She turns -- in slow motion -- and smiles at him, surprised. He hangs up on Pander and looks at her. Soap opera music swells dramatically in the background.
They have drinks in the airport bar. "How long as it been?" Dawson asks. Joey thinks. "Three, four years?" she asks. "Five years," Dawson corrects her. So, we've fast-forwarded to the future, and Dawson and Joey haven't even seen each other in five years? This is already the best episode ever! Dawson sips his beer and tells Joey that he tried calling her, but that "some guy" answered the phone. And then he got started working on his movie, "and before [Dawson] knew it, a year had passed." "I thought I might see you at the premiere," he tells her. Joey shrugs that she "couldn't get out" because she was "working on [her] thesis." I guess Joey's graduate school is like prison, in that they won't even let you out for one night. "But I saw it!" Joey tells him. "Twice. It was good, Dawson." She wonders what brings him to Boston. Dawson tells her that Gale got remarried. Well, thank God. I can sleep at night! And Lily's starting first grade. "Time flies," Joey says, drinking her Cosmo and looking somewhat bored. "Joey, can I tell you something?" Dawson asks, then launches into his standard Soulmates Are Forever speech. Joey smiles painfully. Her cell phone rings, and she has a cheery conversation while Dawson awkwardly drinks his beverage. "Give me five minutes?" she asks. "Bye!" She turns and explains to Dawson that it was her "fiancé" on the phone. Oh, burn! Dawson's face falls, but he sputters a congratulations. Joey chirps that the lucky man is an "environmental rights attorney." Dawson looks at his beer. "Of course he is," he mutters. Joey wonders if Dawson is seeing anyone, and he explains that he was dating an actress for a while, but now he's all alone in the world. All alone! Joey shrugs, and they sit in awkward silence for a moment before she announces that she needs to run. They hug, and Joey spouts the usual "call me the time you get into town!" lies. The Sad Piano Of Someone's Moving On And It's Not Dawson tinkles in the background. He looks sad as Joey walks away. She stops, though, and turns back to stare at him. "Dawson? I need to say something," Joey says. "You and me? We had our shot. And you blew it. So I moved on." The piano strikes an ominous chord. "And you might want to get on with your life, too. I mean, this is getting sad and ridiculous. I just thought that you should know that. Take care." And that's the end of the show! Best season finale ever! Except for the part where Dawson, at this point, wakes with a start. In his bed in Capeside. Goddammit.
I think season needs a new theme song. I vote for "Dude Looks Like A Lady." Just for fun.
Joey and Audrey troll the docks of Capeside, looking for sailors for Audrey to bang and Joey to redeem with the power of It. Audrey's trying to talk Joey into coming to Los Angeles with her. Joey shrugs that she doesn't know what she'd do in LA. "There's always Fred Segal," Audrey offers. "Who's that?" Joey asks. Audrey grimaces. "Not 'who,'" she corrects, "'what,' and the answer is 'heaven on earth.'" Which is, by the way, true. Fred Segal is the best store ever. Although it's extraordinarily pricey. Joey laughs and tells Audrey that she's "committed to Capeside for the summer. The operative word being 'committed.'" Audrey nods, but tells Joey that when they meet again -- and they will! -- she hopes Joey won't be "the same dull, bookish prude that [Audrey] met at the beginning of the year. Because she took [Audrey] months to crack, and [Audrey] just doesn't know if [she] has the energy to do it again." Joey laughs and promises not to sink back into dull bookishness ever again, not knowing that dull bookishness is a sad but unavoidable side effect of It.
Pacey walks up to them wearing a security guard outfit. His hair is all parted on one side and combed over, like a Ken doll. It's a little weird. I prefer the sticky-uppy look myself. Please take that under advisement for the season, costume people. Also, please burn those lower riders of Joey's. And lock Dawson in the wig closet. Thanks. Joey asks why he looks like "one of the Village People." Pacey mutters that it's "a long story." He looks at Audrey, who is very carefully not looking back at him. "Audrey," he finally says. "Dickhead," she retorts. Huh. Well, I guess if Mark Greene can say "shit," Audrey can call Pacey a dickhead. ["Pacey actually called an ex of his sister's a dick last year, so it looks like it's open season on -- okay, not finishing that sentence." -- Sars] Audrey stomps off in a huff. "Ever the actress, that one," Pacey says wearily. Joey suggests that maybe it's time for one of his "grand romantic gestures." Pacey sighs and informs her that he's "fresh out," ever since he lost his job, his girlfriend, and his self-esteem. Joey wonders if this explains his fancy outfit. "Didn't you know? I'm Capeside Yacht Club's new security guard. Here to protect you, ma'am. No need to salute." Joey just looks at him. Pacey tells her that he'll see her around, seeing as they're both stuck in Capeside for the summer. Joey looks less than thrilled.
Over at Casa Leery, Dawson is attempting to teach the uninterested Lily to say his name. Enter Gale; cue a long, boring, tiresome, repetitive conversation about how Dawson has been Gale's "miracle" and blah blah blah blah Joey blah blah blah blah blah love blah soulmates blah blah I simply can't believe that we're going down this road again. Long story short: Dawson's going to dinner with Joey but it's not a date and he has nothing left to say to her and if only that were true, you know?
Jack bursts into the Boston Bay College radio station with an enthusiastic "what is up, slut?" Jen twirls around on her stool. "Not much, big homo!" she squeals back. Heh. I think I'm going to start answering my office phone with "what is up, slut?" Jack yelps that he has big, big news: "Four Cs and a D! Woo!" Jen leaps up and embraces him. "I am so happy to be completely and totally mediocre," Jack says. You are totally on the right show then, dude. They squeal a bit about their big Costa Rica adventure, and Jack hands Jen a paperback copy of Moby Dick for the plane. "I like to chat," Jen says, looking at it. "I know. And I like to sleep. Hence, the oversized volume in your hands," Jack explains. He runs off. I love non-angsty Jack. Jen smiles, and turns to the mike. She signs off for the summer, telling her listening audience that it's been a blast. "I've really enjoyed sharing music that I like and having the opportunity to vent. So, I guess what I'm saying is, thank you all for listening. And catch you on the flip side." And that, by the way, goes for me too (the music playing part aside, clearly). Helming Dawson's Creek this year has been extremely entertaining. (You know, the actual episodes of the show aside.) So thanks, all of you who've been reading this year, participating on the forums, and emailing me. I appreciate it, yo. And big enormous thanks to Sars, for being a wonderful editor and a lovely person in every sense of the word. ["Girl, please -- thank you. If I'd had to come up with one more forehead-related nickname for Dawson, I'd have downed a pitcher of Drano-tinis and jumped out the damn window." -- Sars]
Audrey, Joey, and Dawson emerge from Leery's House of Fishcakes, Audrey chirping that she expected "a way more disgusting culinary experience." Dawson is thrilled that his mother's restaurant didn't make Audrey vomit. She turns to the two of them and announces that she's hitting the record store to stock up on CDs for the flight. "And if they fail to take my mind off flying, you may have to punch me in the face tomorrow, Dawson," she says. Dawson vows that he is her "humble servant" in that regard. Audrey smiles at them. "If I know you two, there are things to be said, bittersweetness to be had, things requiring alone time and nature and whatnot," she explains, taking off and leaving them alone. Joey and Dawson look at each other and shrug awkwardly.
Docks. Dawson and Joey walk together in companionable silence, which Dawson ruins by asking her to swear to him that she'll never marry a lawyer. Joey raises a quizzical brow. "Just promise," Dawson says. Joey offers that she might fall in love with a lawyer who uses his power for good, to help children or protect the environment. Dawson groans. "What?" Joey asks. Dawson shakes his head and suggests that they change the subject entirely. Joey walks alongside him for a moment and then reflects that, last year, "saying goodbye at this time was so epic and dramatic. It was like [they] were never going to see each other again." Dawson mildly comments that she couldn't possibly have known he'd arrive at her door merely a few short months later. Joey smiles at him. "Do you ever regret it?" she asks. "Not for a single second," Dawson responds. Except for that whole period of time where he was of the mind that his returning for Joey led directly to his father, you know, dying and all. "Do you?" he asks her. Joey shakes her head and says that seeing him at her dormitory door is something she'll never forget. Apparently, however, she has forgotten that the night before he showed up, she drunk-dialed him and left a soggy "farewell forever, Foolio" message on his machine.
"Why'd you come all the way to Florida?" she asks suddenly. Dawson immediately looks uncomfortable, like she dropped a glass of iced tea down his pants. He doesn't think she wants to hear it, he explains. Joey shakes her head at him. "As long as I live, Dawson, I'll never not want to hear something you want to say," she says. Man, I guess Professor Creepy didn't cover correct grammar in his class. "I went down to Florida to tell you that I love you," he blurts out. Joey just stares at him. "See? It's not what you wanted to hear," he says. Joey asks why he didn't say anything at the time. Dawson shrugs that it was "obvious" that she'd moved on, and he didn't think it would be fair of him to ask her to "drop everything" just because he'd "finally seen the light." Joey doesn't point out that she'd still have to choose to kick him to the curb either way, but simply asks when things "changed" for him. Dawson explains that it all came into focus for him when he opened the book of sketches Joey made for Lily's first birthday. "I just realized that I hate it when you're not around," he sighs. I don't know if that equals love. I mean, I hate it when there aren't any Doritos in the house, but I'm not in love with them. Joey heaves an enormous sigh and asks how he knows that she's not just "a security blanket for [him], something [he comes] back to when the world gets scary." Dawson flares his nostrils and stares out at the water. Push him in! Push him in! Push him -- sorry, got a little distracted there. It's nice to feel the hate again. I adore the hate. I want to roll around in the hate. "It's not the world I'm scared of, Jo," Dawson says seriously. They stare at each other, and Dawson moves in to kiss her. Joey moves her head at the last minute. Sweet denial! "I'm sorry, Dawson, I can't do this," Joey says, and races away. That was simply adorable, don't you think? Dawson tries to make a sad and dismayed face, but instead lands on "Joey Potter, I want to kill you in your sleep."
Casa Potter. Dawson climbs crankily out of a cab to the tune of sad, sad music. Audrey and Joey struggle out of the house, weighed down by bag upon bag. Audrey tells Joey that while she is "trying on shoes at Fred Segal," Joey will miss her terribly. And she'll feel horrible about not spilling any dirt about what happened between her and Dawson. Outside the house, Dawson looks at an envelope sadly and drops it into the mailbox. Audrey stumbles onto the porch, saying that, without her, Joey has no one to unburden herself to, and not unburdening oneself is bad for the complexion. "Your complexion and your soul, if you even have one," Audrey says. Joey drops Audrey's bags and tells her, very kindly, to cram it. "I don't want to talk about it," she says. Audrey heads for the cab, commenting that Joey is so "Cher from Moonstruck right now." Except that Joey didn't smack Dawson and tell him to snap out of it, more's the pity. Everyone starts loading the cab, and Dawson and Joey act all awkward and weird around each other, and don't you think they'd be tired of all the drama by this point? Life's too short, dude. Call it a day and move the hell on, people! Anyway, Audrey and Joey embrace; Audrey says something about this being the best year of her life, and Joey smiles at her warmly, and Audrey gets in the car, leaving Dawson to stare at Joey like a stalker. "Tell her something in my heart," the guy on the soundtrack croons. "Need her more than even clowns." What the hell kind of f'ed up love song is this? Clowns are scary as hell. Any man who tells me that he needs me more than even clowns is going to get a one-way ticket to Get Out Of My Bedville. "Have a nice summer," Dawson snips. "You, too," Joey offers weakly. Dawson flares and glares and gets in the car. Joey looks very sad and wanders into the house.
The yacht club. Pacey wanders up the docks, asking a couple on a sailboat to turn down their loud, irritating music. The dude? Is Chef Danny. "God! It is so good to see you!" Chef Danny yelps. The girl shakes her ass below decks to shower and leaves the men to their vaguely homoerotic reunion. "Homoerotic Reunion," by the way, is the name of my fourth album. Pacey comments that Chef Danny's chippie doesn't look anything like Mrs. Chef Danny. Chef Danny shrugs that the wife "dumped [his] ass." Pacey raises his brows. "Okay, I can only ignore this outfit for so long. What gives?" Chef Danny finally asks, leaping off the boat and getting right into Pacey's face. "Is there something you want to say to me? You're giving me the disillusioned protégé look. I hate it!" I think he's might be on drugs. Seriously. Like, cocaine or something. He's talking really, really fast and fidgeting a whole hell of a lot, and basically acting just like my old boss (who was, in fact, a coke fiend) used to act. "Hey, if the shoe fits," Pacey shrugs. And this is when Chef Danny tells Pacey that they're "cut from the same cloth" and they're both total chronic screw-ups and that's why the restaurant business is perfect for them, because they never have to actually grow up. In other words: Pacey, the father figure in your life thinks you are a failure! Again! It's just like this entire year didn't even happen. "See, I look at you and I see myself fifteen years ago. You've got a great future ahead of you," Chef Danny says, and I think he's being sort of bitter and sarcastic, but it's hard to look past the fact that he mostly just looks like he wants to grab Pacey's ass. Pacey looks perturbed. Chef Danny's chippie calls to him from below deck. "Duty calls," Chef Danny smirks, and heads back on board, but not before wrapping Pacey in a long, overly cozy hug. "Looks like I'll be seeing you around," he says. Pacey seems less than thrilled as he puts his hat back on and trudges back down the dock.
Cut to Logan Airport and a long, old montage composed of stock footage of airplanes. Jen and Jack race to catch their flight…which turns out, of course, to be delayed. They turn, irritated, from the departure listings and see Audrey and Dawson staring at them from the gift shop. "Told you we weren't going to get bored," Audrey says.
So the four of them sit and wait and wait and sit and sit and wait. I hate the airport. Mostly because I feel compelled to keep an eye open for terrorists in case I need to take them down with a weapon made from the most recent copy of Lucky magazine and a can of hairspray. Jack glances up at the latest stream of people disembarking. "No way, this is not happening," he says. Ambiguously Gay Eric walks into the terminal, all clean and pressed in a yellow shirt. Jen glances up and sees him too. "Okay, who's hungry?" she asks. "Not you," she tells Jack, and hustles Dawson and Audrey away, leaving Jack to have a really awkward conversation with Ambiguously Gay Eric. Who, it turns out, isn't so Ambiguous anymore but rather, simply, Gay. Apparently, he was going to try to come out to the parents, but couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead, he's back to take some classes and hang out and maybe get a job and hopefully become Jack's apprentice in The Way Of The Gay. Jack reminds Eric that he's going to Costa Rica for the summer. They stare at each other. Jack looks uncomfortable, but, I must admit, really very cute in his snug grey t-shirt. Eric offers to hang out and keep Jack company until his flight leaves, but Jack shakes his head, saying that it's not necessary. Eric sort of nods and chuffs him on the shoulder, and tells him to have a great trip. He takes off. Jack looks conflicted.
Capeside. Joey's heading for work, literally taking the truck keys out of Bessie's hands, yelping that she's running late. Bessie sputters that she thought Joey was starting work the following week. Joey tosses her uniform in the truck bed and wonders gloomily why she'd want to delay the inevitable. Bessie looks at her kindly and tells her she doesn't have to work at the yacht club if she doesn't want to. "Nah," Joey says. "This way it's official. Joey Potter: back where she started from." Bessie rolls her eyes, dubbing her younger sister "a drama queen," and tells her to get going. "Did you bring in the mail?" she calls. Joey grouses that she didn't. "Can you?" Bessie asks. "No, I'm late!" Joey yells, and drives far, far away from Lonely Dawson's lonely letter in the lonely mailbox. And hey, I just remembered -- what the hell happened when she went to see her father at the five-and-dime last week? Am I the only person that remembers that? Shouldn't we get some resolution to -- oh, who am I kidding?
Dawson flips though a copy of Juggs in the airport bookstore. He looks up from his reading and sees that the guy standing to him? Is The Pretentious British Movie Director from the first episode of the season. This is the portion of the show when tertiary characters praise Dawson's talent and moxie, by the way, so if you want to just scroll down, I won't hold it against you. "I know you! How do I know you?" PBMD asks. Dawson reminds him about the whole firing-him thing. "I remember you! The moralistic film student! You were annoying," PBMD says. Heh. Also: Nice braided leather choker. "Still in film school?" he asks. Dawson says he isn't…although, isn't he? What was with all the classes and the assignments, then? Anyway, yada yada, PBMD lost some sleep over Dawson's ridiculous moralist preaching and he thinks Dawson's "got balls." And that's the second reference to Dawson's balls in the last four episodes. I demand a moratorium on any and all mentions of Dawson's testicles in the upcoming season. Anyhoo, PBMD instructs Dawson to give him a call when he gets to Los Angeles. "I might want to watch one of those little movies you made. That is, if you don't chicken out and run scared this time," he says. Dawson looks totally thrilled, despite that fact that PBMD is a jackass and a hack. Actually, now that I think about it, the two of them will probably get along great!
Back in Capeside, Joey sits on the dock and reads her letter from Dawson. She's interrupted by Pacey, who takes a seat to her. "You probably don't want to get too close," she tells him. "Head lice?" Pacey asks. Joey grins. "No, I seem to have fallen victim to the Capeside Disease," she says. Is that the advanced stages of It? No, apparently, it's "feeling trapped, feeling sorry for yourself, the general inability to see the future." Pacey reminds her that this is also known as "being a teenager." They laugh, and Joey tells him that he might be the "most adult person [she] knows." He never looks back, she says. Pacey shrugs. "Why would you look back? The future's out there," he says. Joey says some stuff about how he needs to believe in himself that I totally tune out because it's so boring. "You miss her, don't you?" she asks. "Audrey? I don't really think that's an appropriate conversation for last year's class couple, do you?" Pacey asks. Joey shrugs and says that she misses Audrey already. "She changed my life, you know." Pacey smiles that he knows. "Of course, there's always the other option. That you changed," he suggests. Joey smiles at him. "Fine, I guess I did," she says. "I guess you did," Pacey tells her. And he has the feeling that, "in true Joey Potter fashion," she wishes she could unchange it. Joey thinks about this. "No, I don't," she says. "Let's go." Pacey looks askance. "Where?" he asks. Joey rolls her eyes at him, like he's an idiot. "You want her back, don't you?" she asks. Pacey thinks it's too late. Joey shakes her head. "No, we're going to go to airport, we're going to find them and we're going to say everything that we really want to say," she explains. "Why?" Pacey asks. "Because we can. Come on!" Joey says, taking him by the hand and pulling him off his ass and out of the shot.
So Pacey and Joey run into the airport and only realize when they're standing in front of the Arrivals and Departures information booth that they can't get to the gate without tickets. Joey says that she's going to buy one, run down there, talk to Dawson, and convince Audrey not to get on the plane. "Does this Dawson character really mean this much to you?" Pacey asks. "I'm just kidding," he adds. He then tells Joey that he really thinks he ought to be present for his own "romantic overtures," and he'll take care of the Audrey angle himself. Wishing each other good luck, they go their separate ways. FOREVER! Sorry, Joey/Pacey fans. I think they had wonderful chemistry, too, and I think the back forty of their relationship was handled really, really poorly. But The Powers That Be at Dawson's Creek seem hell-bent on putting Joey and Dawson together, no matter how grating and unpleasant and co-dependent and irritating and generally unhealthy that relationship is. They're shooting themselves in the foot, but I have the sad feeling that we're going to be dealing with this Dawson And Joey Are Fucking Soulmates thing for the rest of the run of the show. The less said about how much that makes me want to take a sledgehammer to my cerebral cortex, the better. For all of us.
Apparently, Logan Airport only has one ticket agent. Let's call him Harvey. So, Harvey and Jen have this long ridiculous argument, which culminates in Jen being forced to fly first class to New York. My heart bleeds for her, you guys! Flying first class -- a ticket sure to be reimbursed by her Mean Parents -- on the way to spend the summer in the Hamptons. Fate is indeed cruel. Anyway, Jen finally takes the first class ticket and starts heading to the gate. She sees Joey waiting in the same line for tickets. They have the most abbreviated conversation about What Went Down This Year ever, which boils down to the fact that they love each other and everything else is bygones. I have to say, that was refreshingly easy.
Audrey and Dawson stand and wait to board their flight to Los Angeles. Audrey stares out the window and tells him that she thinks she's going to need him to punch her in the face after all. "When we're seated, I promise," Dawson tells her. Audrey's thinking about dying in a fiery crash when she's paged to the white courtesy phone. She throws Dawson a quizzical look, but goes and picks it up. It's Pacey, of course, making the most half-assed romantic gesture ever. His big speech includes, at least, an apology, but also "meet me downstairs and we'll talk." That's pretty much his entire pitch. Audrey is similarly disgusted. "God, you are a lazy romantic, Pacey," she snaps, and slams down the phone.
So then, in a lovely example of the now tightened security at Logan, Pacey bribes an airport employee to allow him to use the PA system. I sure hope no terrorists are watching this episode, because it really speaks to the holes in our domestic defense plans. Besides, you know, in between planning suicide bombing runs and bouts of chemical warfare, I'm pretty sure the terrorists watch nothing but the WB. [Tasteless joke about how watching 7th Heaven regularly would drive anyone to senseless murder in the name of religion removed.]
So, Pacey gets on the PA system, and everyone in the airport listens as he pleads with Audrey not to get on the plane. He opens with a "really, truly sorry," which sounds quite sincere, and Dawson plucks Audrey's headphones off her ears just in time to hear the end of this apology. Elsewhere in the airport, Joey listens with an open-mouthed smile as Pacey goes on to apologize for his "predilection for older women." Audrey blushes and rolls her eyes. "It's just that…this has been a really strange year for me, Audrey," Pacey explains. Strangers pause with donuts halfway to their mouths to listen. "Because while you guys were off doing the college thing, I was just doing my best to stay afloat." Waiting for the plane to New York, Jen listens and smiles. "And believe me," Pacey continues, "no one hands you a road map for the road less traveled. You just got to get on and start driving." He takes a deep breath and looks down at the microphone. "Ultimately, the only thing that I want to take away from this year and the only thing I'm going to remember is you," he says. Audrey looks touched. "Because you are amazing, Audrey, and you came along when I thought all the big loves of my life were behind me. And you just rocked my world." Dawson smiles at Audrey. She blushes madly. "And I know that you and I don't actually know each other that well yet," Pacey says. "I'm sure that I could live without you. I'm just not sure that I want too. So, Audrey, that's it. Ah, that's it. That's my pitch," he says. "So peace out, everybody. Free the West Memphis Three." And with that, Pacey hangs up the PA. The guard he bribed is crying like a little girl. Not really.
Joey finally gets to the front of The Only Line To Buy Tickets Ever, and proceeds to bicker with poor overworked Harvey. She tells him that she needs a ticket "to anywhere," and asks him to pick the locale. Harvey explains that she has to pick; he doesn't pick up the phone and call security, even though I'm pretty sure announcing that you need a ticket to "anywhere" and showing up without any luggage sets off a big red flag in this day and age. Of course, I suppose that most terrorists don't have such a ragingly obvious case of It. "Milwaukee," Joey finally plucks out of the air. Harvey thinks this is "boring." So Joey casts around and eventually, predictably, asks for a ticket to Paris. "Oh, terrific," Harvey coos. "We have a special this week!" Joey barks at him to print that ticket up!
Luggage Claim, which is apparently only one of the many romantic hotspots at the airport. Audrey. Pacey. Schmoopy. Pacey suggests that they drive to Los Angeles, stopping only for food, sex, and the world's largest ball of yarn. Sounds like the best road trip ever. Seriously. "And what if some sexy old broad hits on you along the way?" Audrey asks. Pacey answers correctly, saying that he'd kick her to the curb. Audrey smiles slowly. "You are very lucky, Pacey," she says. "I know," Pacey. "Why?" Audrey links her hands around his neck. "'Cause I kind of love you," she tells him. "Only kind of?" he asks. Audrey gives him a mock dirty look. "We have a long way to California," she says. "We'll work on it." They mack. "Thank you," Pacey tells her. He kisses her again, then grabs her bags (which I guess she convinced the airline to take off the plane for her). They head out. "By the way, you wouldn't happen to have any money for gas, would you?" he asks. Ah, Pacey. Ever the romantic, hitting his woman up for cash.
Joey, ticket in hand, runs all OJ-style through the airport (OJ-in-the-Hertz-commercials-style, not OJ-running-from-the-law-in-a-white-Bronco-style). She catches Dawson just as he's about to get on the plane, and he stares at her like he wants to crush her skull like a walnut. "Why are you saying goodbye to me?" Joey asks him plaintively. "What happened to you? When did you become the fatalist?" When she wouldn't kiss him, Dawson snips. Joey sighs and explains that she didn't kiss him because she was scared of "of going backwards, of never growing up." "That's what I represent to you?" Dawson huffs, his nostrils flaring dramatically. "Not you. Us," Joey offers. Cue more heaving and flaring, as Joey tells Dawson that he's a huge part of her life "past, present and future." Oh, God, please, just let go! Both of you! Get over it and get a life, for the love of Pete. Everyone has someone who got away from them, and none of us is chasing that person to the airport anymore.
Joey continues, telling Dawson that he makes her life "better, not worse." I'm afraid I can't say the same. "Then come with me, right now," Dawson says. "Come with me, Jo." She tearfully shakes her head. "I can't. I won't," she tells him. "Going to California is your journey, not mine. And if we really mean to each other what we say we mean to each other, then, there's nothing to worry about. Everything will work itself out, I guarantee it. Besides, I think I finally figured out with that kiss meant." Dawson stiffly asks if she'd "care to share?" Instead, she kisses him. Ew. For old time's sake, the editors kick the lip mics up to eleven. "Damn it. Damn it! Damn it, you have this annoying habit of making me not want to get on planes," Dawson curses. Joey tells him gently that he's going to get on the plane and make movies, "because that's [his] dream. And [he's] going to be nice to everyone [he meets] along the way, because that's who [he is]." They smile at each other, each basking in the warm glow of the other's raging It. "And if you ever get lost, you remember," Joey says slowly. "What?" he asks. She smiles. "I love you, too." Oh, that's it. I'm going to kill myself season, aren't I? The flight attendant finally breaks up this cozy reunion, asking Dawson if he'll be flying with them "or what." Heh. Joey puts on her Buck Up, Little Camper face and tells the flight attendant that he will be. Tears. Staring. Dawson runs his abnormally large thumbnail over Joey's lips. "Go on, Rainman," Joey tells him. "Your life awaits." Because there's nothing more romantic than comparing your soulmate to Rainman. I know, when I finally give into the seductive call of internet dating, my personal ad will probably read something like, "Sassy brunette seeks small-statured obsessive-compulsive. Knowledge of statistics a plus, verbal tics a must!" He looks at her. "Yours, too, you know," he says. One last kiss and he leaves, thank God. With an enormous sigh and a long look at his retreating back, Joey smiles to herself, and goes.
Cut to Jen, sitting in her cushy first class seat. And who sits to her? PBMD. He, of course, hits on her. Jen twitters under his attentions, and then tells him that his last movie "kinda sucked." Hee. Then she sits back and wonders how she'll live through an entire summer in a luxurious beach house.
In a coffee shop somewhere, Jack and Eric laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.
Back at Casa Leery, Li'l Lily Leery points at a photograph of the Flash and coos, "Dada!" Gale and her hideously fake and baked-leather-baseball-glove skin smile, thrilled. Her teeth are horrible; I have no idea what's going on in Wilmington, but they need a dentist on staff, stat!
Grams and Clifton head off to Vegas.
Audrey and Pacey laugh giddily in the car. She caresses his neck. Everyone in this show is so damned happy. It's the complete opposite of that other show I recap.
Dawson sits in his window seat and thinks. A nervous-looking but pretty girl flings herself down in the seat to him. I'm going to call her Lauren. "You okay?" Dawson asks. Lauren stammers that she's fine. "No, I'm not," she corrects herself almost immediately. "Not really. I have this problem with flying. I hate it. With a passion. If I grab your arm at some point during the flight and ask you explain some creepy airplane noise, please don't hold it against me," she asks. Run, Lauren, run! Dawson promises that he won't. Hold it against her. If you know what I mean, and I think you do. Go ahead, they put the barf bag in the seat pocket for a reason. He smiles at her. Lauren lets out a long shaky breath. "You know what?" Dawson asks. "It's going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay." She just looks at him.
Joey hits the ticket counter to get a refund on her ticket to La France. Harvey takes it out of her hand and muses that it's a shame she can't use it, because Paris is beautiful this time of year. "That's what I hear," Joey says. She looks thoughtful for a moment, then smiles at him widely. We freeze frame on her giant yellow chompers, and fade to black. And that's it. That's it. For the year. Any plotlines wrapped up? Not really. Any cliffhangers? Not exactly. Just another year capped off with further tiresome Soulmate Action, and still no closer to Dawson's death at the hands of psychotic monkeys or drunken carnies. Ah, well, what are you going to do? Other than, you know, find yourself some psychotic monkeys to train over the summer, or hit the carnival circuit. Consider that an assignment. See you in the fall!