“ The potentially tense moment is defused when that blonde girl from Popular mocks the scarf-wearing guy, and she and Pacey share a laugh at Scarfs expense. Ohohoho. Foolish upperclass twit, demanding his silly oatmeal! ”
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The Universal logo appears and spins around, so we can get a sense of what it is exactly that The Skulls control: everything. Then, over a creepy Skull logo, we see the following text: Every year at certain Ivy League colleges, an elite group of students is chosen to join Secret Societies. Unlike fraternities, these Societies conceal their actions as they mold the leaders of the future. At least 3 U.S. Presidents are known to have been members. My favorite sentence is the second one, which implies that fraternities mold the leaders of the future, too, but openly. Whereas the truth is, they mold the alcoholics of the future. Many of whom are also U.S. presidents, I guess.
Then, we switch to a shot of an undulating river, and hear the Tinkly Piano of Calm Waters Soon To Be Disturbed. More text tells us: The most powerful of these has always beenTHE SKULLS.
Later in the recap, I will tell you how members of Secret Societies are actually chosen. Its funny.
In a boathouse, sweaty and chubby-looking, Pacey works out on a rowing machine well into the evening. Then, a disorienting series of establishing shots take us to the sunlight of the day, to a college campus that appears to be in the American Collegiate Gothic Style, like a certain unnamed Ivy League school, and finally into a high-ceilinged dining hall. Pacey is working behind the counter, serving food with impish charm and a smiling glint, or whatever. Some scarf-wearing asshole pushes to the front of the line and demands more oatmeal (the reference to Oliver Twist, Im guessing, is unintentional). The potentially tense moment is defused when that blonde girl from Popular mocks the scarf-wearing guy, and she and Pacey share a laugh at Scarfs expense. Ohohoho. Foolish upperclass twit, demanding his silly oatmeal! Oh, but wait: Scarf calls the girl a bitch, so Pacey is forced to reach across the counter and grab him by the scarf: I realize it's 8 A.M. and you havent had your triple soy decaf latt yet, but a kid with your breeding should have some manners. So I suggest you apologize to the lady. Anyway, Pacey flirts with Popular, who is apparently a friend of his, and invites her to watch his race at 4 P.M. Banter, banter, blah-di-blah.
The Skulls
“ The seminar room, by the way, just like the dining hall, and everything else in this movie, is shot in Vaseline-lensed, butter-edged, sun-dappled tones. I would like to make fun of them, but they make me nostalgic for college, because I think my memories are butter-edged, too. ”
I have to say, kids like Scarf, while they do appear from time to time at certain unnamed schools, were universally ridiculed and mocked. The basic assumption was that they were morons who were on campus only because their parents had donated sufficient funds to build a library named after them.
Pacey is in a seminar, where the topic of discussion seems to be, coincidentally, Is America really a class society, or is it a meritocracy? In fact, the professor asks this very question at the precise moment Pacey sneaks a peak at a Law School viewbook, which lists the yearly tuition as $45,000. The seminar room, by the way, just like the dining hall, and everything else in this movie, is shot in Vaseline-lensed, butter-edged, sun-dappled tones. I would like to make fun of them, but they make me nostalgic for college, because I think my memories are butter-edged, too. Anyway, Pacey says, in response to the question: Well, I believe that its both, sir? The professor asks how it could be both, as though the suggestion that a society could combine elements of classism with elements of advancement based on merit totally implausible. Pacey, though, says, Merit is rewarded with wealth, and with wealth comes class. The professor tells him nice recovery.
A dangerous-looking car with fish or something spray-painted onto the back chases down Pacey as he bikes to his race. He knows the occupants, who apparently stole the car: If you give a shit, Luke. Yeah, if you give a shit, man. You see, these are his old Townie friends, who he left behind when he enrolled in the nearbyelitewait a minute, this IS the Dawsons Creek spin-off, Young Americans! DAMN YOU! YOU BLEW IT UP! Anyway, Townie Pacey tries to banter with his old high school buddies (I want you to keep stealing cars, cause when Im a lawyer Ill make a fortune defending you.) The girl in the car tells him she liked his hair better long, which I frankly cannot imagine on Josh Jackson, and he tells her the same thing. Like, haha, not. The driver says, You got your books. Your boats. And your ivy pride. See you around. What. Ever.
At the dock, Townie Pacey is late to the race, and almost gets his boat disqualified. The team from his unnamed school is wearing blue uniforms with tiny Ys on the front. Though, to be fair, its a different shade of blue and a different font of Y than another certain school use. As the boat pushes off, two sinister Aryan students watch Pacey through binoculars from the stands. It reminds me of The Chocolate War. Anybody remember that? Anyway, Aryan Guy One: Where did Mr. Macnamara learn to row? Aryan Guy Two: In the local sewers I imagine. Hes a townie. Oh, who TALKS like that? Mother died in a car crash when he was one. Father unknown. Thanks, Aryan Exposition Fairy.
The Skulls
“ 'Thats Caleb Mandrake. He was a Skull the day he was born.' Yeah, who are you telling that to? To other Aryan guy? He obviously already knows that. Are you telling us? Were out here, on the other side of the screen. You dont know were there. ”
A car pulls up, and Paul Fast and Furious Walker sits up on the back of the drivers seat to watch the race. Aryan One and Aryan Two turn their attention to him. No need to check him out, eh? Thats Caleb Mandrake. He was a Skull the day he was born. Yeah, who are you telling that to? To other Aryan guy? He obviously already knows that. Are you telling us? Were out here, on the other side of the screen. You dont know were there. Shut up, Aryan Guy Two. Then, we learn that Caleb is an asshole, because when a girl in the back seat says she cant see the race, he tells her to imagine it. As though she cant get out of the car, and go sit anywhere on the hillside, or on the hood, or sit up on the back of her own seat, orwhatever. And Caleb, by the way, seems creepily intent on watching this race. Maybe hed like to get a little Fast and Furious with Townie Pacey, if you know what I mean
The announcer lets us know that wearing blue, the Bulldog A, are the defending champions, led by Townie Pacey, but that the Harvard boat in lane 2 is promising. Uh-huh, cause thats what the P.A. announcers does, is handicap the race. Pacey does a complex handshake thingy with the coxswain. The announcer mentions every other Ivy League school by name; I guess there was no risk of a lawsuit there. Finally, the race is on. The coxswain does not seem to have particularly good rhythm, but the Blue Bulldog boat takes an early lead anyway. But, uh-oh, someone breaks an oarlock, and has to bail out of the boat. Suddenly, the poor Bulldogs only have seven rowers to everybody elses eight! Aryan Guy One says, They dont have a chance in hell. Shut up, Aryan Guy One. Because Townie Pacey and his rowers win! Win! Win! Woo-hoo! Man, its almost as if they were in some kind of hero boat that was supposed to win. Aryan Guy Two asks if any of the others are after him. Aryan Guy One: He turned them all down. So, either he doesnt want to join a Secret Society, or hes waiting for us.
Later, at Morys (I mean at an unnamed New Haven bar where they drink alcohol out of large silver cups and sing the unnamed drinking song that contains the lyric, Put a nickel on the drum, save another drunken bum) they all drink and celebrate the victory, while the girl from Popular slaps her own ass for some reason. Later, she plays darts. Im not kidding, folks, thats the sequence of shots, I didnt write the thing. Shes good at darts, and gets a bulls-eye. Hopefully that will be important later, when she has to throw a dart at somebody. Over at a table, Townie Pacey checks his watch, and the coxswain says, Whats the matter? Afraid youre gonna turn into a pumpkin at midnight? Or afraid youre not gonna turn into a Skull? It turns out tonight is the pivotal night when The Skulls will pick their new members. But, being our hero, Pacey doesnt want to join the Society for the power and prestige. He needs them to help him pay for his undergrad loans, and his law school tuition which, he banters with Coxswain, amount to so much money that hell have to work corporate law for the rest of his life, and drive a used car that the ladies wont like, ohohoho, such banter! What a whimsical take on fears about the future! Coxswain, or, The Exposition Sounding Board, changes gears to another topic of exposition and says, Forget the Skulls. Start this year off right, and tell Chloe how you feel about her. Thats the dart-throwing girl, by the by, naturally. Townie Pacey explains that he and Chloe come from two different worlds, and her parents own a jet, and hes never even been in a jet, and he sings: Uptown giiiirlshe been livin in her uptown world Kidding.