I need to give you the background of how I came to be able to write my first DC recap. I call it "What Price Cable? The Sequel."
Those of you in southern Ontario know that Dawson's Creek is broadcast on Global on Friday nights, whereas in the US, it's shown on Wednesday nights. I, of course, was aware of this when I undertook my commitment to the site, and I figured that a delay of two days every week wouldn't make a terribly big difference in how quickly I'd be able to post the wrap-up.
Then, thank God, my friend Shanda told me that the season premiere wouldn't be shown on Global until October 16, a week and two days after it was shown in the US. The show, as broadcast on Global, would be out of synch for the rest of the season! WHY GOD WHY?
It was either spring for the deluxe cable package -- two iterations of the WB, plus UPN, as well as TMN, the movie channels -- or give up doing the site. Since the cable bill would be tax-deductible as soon as the site went live, I decided to get the extra cable, and called up Rogers Monday, October 5, to make an appointment for an installer to bring a transmitter box. The appointment was set for 3 PM, Thursday, October 8.
I happened to be home that day with a cold, so I was there to take the call from the installation centre. The installer who was supposed to come with our box had had two appointments that afternoon, of which ours was the second. At the first house, the box he had brought exploded due to electrical problems, so the installer gave them what was to be our box, and hence didn't have a box to give us, and wouldn't have time to go get one and make it back to our place before the end of his shift. Had I known what was going to happen, I would have told the dispatcher who spoke to me that the installer could just forget about the end of his shift and get me a box pronto. As it was, we arranged for an installer to come Friday, October 9, at 3 PM. Before I hung up, I asked the dispatcher:
"Am I right in thinking that, because the appointment was missed through lack of preparation on your part, I won't be paying for this installation?"
"I don't know about that," the dispatcher replied.
"I think you do know about that," I answered, "and I think I will be getting installation for free."
"Well, I'll have to speak to my supervisor about that," he said.
"Please do," I said.
The day I was back at work. I was getting ready to leave around 6:15 when it occurred to me that, in all the times Glark had called me that day, not once had he mentioned whether the cable had been successfully installed. Curious, I called and asked whether anyone had shown up at 3 PM. He said no one had, and gave me the number to call and start raising hell.
The customer service rep I spoke to told me that there was no record on my account of an appointment that day, and before I could stop her she put me on hold while she tried to figure out what had gone wrong. Fifteen minutes later she came back, having been stymied in her search for answers, to tell me she was still working on it.
"What's the difference?" I spat. "Can't we just make another appointment for tomorrow, now that you've ruined two afternoons in a row?"
"Okay. We can get someone out late Tuesday afternoon," she said.
"What?!" I probably shrieked. I was already afraid that they'd screw up again on Tuesday, and then it would be too late to fix anything before the Dawson's, which would be my first wrap-up. I don't know anyone who has the WB who could tape it for me, and I knew that if I made Sars write two in a row, she'd come up to Toronto and kick my ass for me. "Look, I am a television critic. I have a professional interest in getting these channels in a timely fashion, which is why I made the appointment for yesterday. Tuesday is too late. I need to have it tomorrow."
"Okay, just a minute," she said. Shortly a supervisor-sounding dude was on the line assuring me that I now had a priority appointment for Saturday between 12 and 5 PM. I wasn't thrilled at having to give up an afternoon, particularly at the start of a long weekend, but there was no other option, so I agreed.
The day, no one showed up before 5. No one called, either. At 5:01, I was on the phone kicking ass again. Well, I tried to kick ass, and then I was put on hold. When the guy came back on the line, he assured me that my appointment was still on the list and that someone would be there in 35 to 45 minutes. I asked this guy whether I'd have to pay for installation, and he assured me that I would not, and that furthermore I could speak to someone later about crediting the account for my inconvenience.
At 6:30, more than 45 minutes after, I had been assured, someone would be there with a cable box, no one had been to the apartment yet. There I was, back on the phone and way pissed. This time, when I told the whole sordid story a third time, I was put on hold and shortly thereafter was disconnected. I called back again and got another guy who said I shouldn't expect to see anyone that day since the installation department was now closed, but that the service rep had left a message for the supervisor, who would call me Sunday morning to try to give me some satisfaction.
Then at 7:30, a cable installer showed up with a box and proceeded to install it. I didn't get my hopes up too high, rightly so as it turned out because the box, for some reason, didn't work. He said that someone could be out on Tuesday. Well, where had I heard that before? I said, again, that Tuesday was too late, tried, again, to play the "television critic" card, and finally got him to tell me that someone would be calling me on Sunday morning to tell me exactly when I could expect someone to come out and hook me up.
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Sunday morning, no one called. Not the supervisor from the service department, not the supervisor from the installation department. At 12:01 PM, I was on the phone again, and on hold on and off for an hour. In the course of the conversation, I was told that probably no one would be out to hook me up that day, but maybe someone would, and I would just have to wait and see if anyone from any department would call me that afternoon and tell me one way or another, although it was possible that no one would call me at all.
I was also told that there weren't any supervisors there that I could speak to, and no direct line I could call to reach anyone in the installation department. Just before the call concluded, so that I could sit in my apartment for a fourth day in a row (well, only a second day, really, although they didn't know that, and anyway it was the second day of a long weekend) waiting for a call that might never come, I asked the service rep what kind of compensation I could expect for their constant, and almost comical, incompetence with my fairly simple request.
"Compensation?" he asked.
"Well, yes," I said. "I've had to sit here in my apartment for several days, while every time a problem has happened it's been on your end. I've had to turn down and break engagements with friends three times yesterday and now again today because you've been so committed to ruining my long weekend. Because I'm a television critic, I've lost income I would have made by reviewing the shows I should have been able to watch since last Thursday. I think I should get some kind of compensation for that, don't you?"
"Have you actually had any interruption in your cable service, though?" he asked.
"No, but I've just told you that I've had a considerable interruption in my life," I screeched.
"Well, we can't compensate you for that, ma'am."
My voice went up another octave. "I should be telling YOU that!" I replied, and slammed down the phone.
At about 2:30 PM Sunday, I did get a call from the service department. Surprise surprise, they wouldn't be able to send anyone out that day after all. Hearing this news, I went almost apoplectic with rage, but I managed to hold it together enough to tell her the sordid tale of Rogers' stupidity one last time (and that was about the eighth time I'd had to tell it, at that point; couldn't someone have written some part of it down on my account file by then?), and she seemed to be appropriately horrified and assured me that someone would be out to hook up the box on -- all together now -- Tuesday.
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Luckily for them Glark will be there on Tuesday, because he works at home now, but what if he didn't? This would be a third missed afternoon for one of us if that weren't the case, and I would be about fifty times angrier. How do they manage to run a business, I have to wonder? And now this cable modem internet service they've been advertising so heavily -- with a multi-fold insert in the Star on Saturday -- isn't available where we live until Winter 2000. Like...um...what?! Just because you have a monopoly on this service that people happen to want doesn't mean you don't have to try to conduct business in a way that doesn't tell your customers you hold them in complete contempt.
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