Last week on Dawson's Creek: Pacey blah, Joey blah, Audrey blah blah blah.
Liberty Hell's Kitchen. Joey sets a basket of popcorn in front of Pacey and joins him, Jen, and Jack at a table. Oh, my God, you guys! Jen's hair is…I'm sorry. It's just…there are no words. It's a short, blunt, chin-length bob, complete with bangs. It's sort of like Anna Wintour's hairdo, but blonde. And apparently, composed completely of straw. Poor Michelle Williams. This style is really too harsh for her face. Why can't they just leave that poor girl alone? Jack, Joey, and Pacey kindly avoid looking at her, and instead toss popcorn into their mouths and chat. The table falls silent when Audrey walks into the bar and approaches them. She looks monumentally uncomfortable. "So," she begins, haltingly. "Anyway, here's the thing. Um. I messed up. And I'm really sorry." The Sad, Twangy Theme Of Non-Rehabilitated Alcoholics Who Swear They've Turned Over A New Leaf But Totally Have Not sings loudly in the background. Audrey continues, elaborating that she feels real bad about that whole driving-the-car-into-the-side-of-the-house-on-Christmas-Day thing. "For my insane behavior the past couple of months, for any pain or worry I might have caused you guys," she says. "For pushing you away when you were just trying to be my friends. So. The thing is, is that after the whole Christmas debacle, you know, I went home to Los Angeles and this one night, this one horrible, horrible night, I found myself at this party in Malibu, on this beach full of strangers and the sun was coming up and I was just drunk off my ass and I remember looking around and thinking, you know what? I'm thinking maybe the problem isn't Joey or Pacey or Jen or [Blandy] or Jack or Dawson or anyone else. Just maybe…maybe it's me." Newsflash: It is you, Audrey. "I don't expect you to forgive me right away, because I do know how badly I messed up and you know, I just…if you guys want to call me sometimes just to say hi, that would be cool. Because I really love you guys and I miss you and I'm just really sorry." Audrey sniffles, her voice breaking, then turns and starts to walk away. The rest of the gang exchange looks, and Joey slides off her stool and runs after Audrey, grabbing her by the elbow and embracing her. Everyone follows suit. Audrey smiles and sniffles as she hugs Jen and Jack and Pacey. Aw. That was sort of touching. Damn it! I hate it when they get to me!
After the credits, we get back to Liberty Hell's Kitchen. Emma and Joey lean against a pool table and check out the new bartender's ass, bantering about their own personal sexual fantasies (Emma wants to do him in the alley, against the wall. Joey wants him on the pool table). It's incredibly delicate and heartwarming. Emma is surprised that Little Joey Potter even thinks about sex. Joey rolls her eyes. "Don't let the prim exterior fool you," she says. "Underneath, I'm…less prim." Emma takes this opportunity to ask Joey what the deal was with Oliver. Joey brushes off the Oliver issue, calling their relationship "a barely significant thing," and tells Emma that it's "way over." Emma shrugs into her jacket and wonders if, in that case, Joey would mind clearing out Oliver's locker. Emma would do it herself, she says, but she's late for band practice. Joey agrees, albeit hesitantly. Emma is relieved, and tells Joey to throw all of Oliver's crap in the trash. "If he had anything of worth, he would have come back for it," Emma says. Joey makes a face, because, you know, that line has Poignant Double Meaning for her. "This is pretty dull," my Mulder action figure tells me. "Doesn't anyone ever get abducted by aliens on this show? No? How about switching bodies? Does anyone ever switch bodies? Hello? Anyone?"
Over at Boiler Room, Inc., Bobby Briggs is talking to his trainees about pushing this one particular stock to all their clients. Apparently, this particular drug company has a new product that's about to be approved by the FDA, and when the drug gets the thumbs-up, the company's stock ought to go through the roof. Bobby Briggs reminds everyone that this drug company -- let's call it NotEnron -- is one of their clients, and it's in everyone's best interest to keep them happy. That doesn't really seem ethical to me, but what do I know about that sort of thing? Anyhoo, Bobby Briggs blathers on a bit more, then dismisses everyone but Pacey. He tells Pacey that the CEO of NotEnron is having a big bash, and has asked Bobby Briggs to bring his best and brightest new trainee with him. And Bobby Briggs is torn, because Pacey is definitely the best seller at Boiler Room, Inc., but he's also a total nutjob, what with all the fisticuffs and the blowing off of work and the bratty behavior and whatnot. "Can you be a team player?" he asks. In response, Pacey yammers on and on and on about how much he wants to be a success at Boiler Room, Inc., and yadda yadda yadda, blah blah ever-loving blah. Has he always been this wordy? Because I don't remember wanting to stab myself repeatedly during Pacey's scenes in the past. Anyway, after twenty minutes of yapping, Pacey finally gets to the point and promises Bobby Briggs that he's totally committed to Boiler Room, Inc., and willing to be a complete team player. Oh, Pacey. You are so naïve. Bobby Briggs is going to destroy you. Why do you think he hasn't fired you yet?
Elsewhere in Boston. Audrey walks through Emma's building and up to her apartment door. There's a long line of punky-looking girls waiting outside, but Audrey just up and knocks. Emma opens the door, and Audrey waltzes inside. "Dude, what is up with all the Courtney Love wannabes?" she asks. "It's like an Audrey convention out there." Emma looks uncomfortable and explains that, see, her band used to have this great lead singer, but that she was totally unreliable, and that they've gotten themselves a "fairly monumental" gig that could turn out to be huge for them. And so they need a new lead singer. "One with the talent, minus the drama," she says. Audrey finally gets the fact that she's been fired, as Emma continues to look uncomfortable and the rest of the band looks silently peeved. Audrey nods and says that she understands, that she deserved to get fired, and she's so sorry -- so, so, so sorry. She then proceeds to beg for her job back. The Silently Peeved Backup Musicians just look disgusted and skeptical as Audrey promises that she'll be "better than good," she'll be "the best." If only they can give her another chance. Please please please please please? Swayed, apparently, by the sheer power of Audrey's oration, Emma and her mute bandmates agree to give her another shot. We all know that's going to come back and bite them in the ass, right?
Liberty Hell's Kitchen. Joey cleans out Oliver's locker, tossing stuff into the trashcan left and right. She comes across a large manila envelope from Fictional Publishing House, Inc. Inside is a pretty standard Your Manuscript Shows Promise But We Don't Want to Publish It Anyway letter, clipped to something titled Greetings from Worchester. Oliver's been writing short stories, it seems. Joey pages through the book and looks thoughtful.
And then we go to commercial. Yes, because that particular scene is sure to keep people from switching over to The Bachelorette or American Idol. I'm sure that Not Lines all over the land are lighting up as viewers struggle to process the fact that Oliver's short stories got rejected! Oh my God! Whatever will happen ?
After the break, we cut to the Hell's Belles, at what I presume is the sound check for their Big Important Gig. Audrey sounds pretty good when she's not all strung out on the sauce. A bunch of dudes listen to the girls rehearse and leer at Audrey's rack. I guess they're roadies? Or guys from the various bands that Hell's Belles is opening for? Oh, wait: I don't really care. Boys watch, Audrey sings. I give her, oh, about two minutes until she's climbing back into the driver's seat of this whole Downward Spiral thing. Finally, Audrey wraps up the set and stumbles over to guzzle some bottled water. One of the leery dudes (not, technically, however, a Leery dude) ambles over and gives her a Joey Tribbiani-style "How you doin'" look. "Hey," he drools. "Hello," Audrey coos. The guy -- let's call him Marcel, just for fun -- asks her if she likes to "have fun." I suspect that's a euphemism for "take drugs and blow me in the back of the van." Audrey shrugs that, sure, she loves to "have fun." Marcel puts the moves on her by telling her that he's in one of the other bands, "Satan's Tampon." Audrey's heard of them. What with Audrey's behavior of late, I suspect that she's been using Satan's tampons. Marcel wonders if Audrey'd like to come back to the bus with him and "party." She agrees. Yeah, good plan. Let's see…Vulnerable Co-Ed On The Wagon decides to "go back to the tour bus" with a bunch of debauched pseudo-rockers. That's a recipe for sobriety if I've ever heard one.
Worthington School For Drunken Poseurs And Their Saintly Roommates. Joey's teaching Harley algebra. The very mention of the Pythagorean theorem fills me with cold, dark dread. They take a break from The Horrors Of Math to share a cold, refreshing Diet Coke. And this is where I would generally make some snarky comment about the obvious product placement here, but I love me some cold, refreshing Diet Coke, so I won't. Go have a Diet Coke right now, kids. ["Way ahead of you, my friend." -- Sars] Mmmm, Diet Coke. Harley sips her soda and sensitively wonders how Joey is "holding up," what with the whole Oliver thing and whatnot. Joey doesn't really want to talk about it, but Harley somehow manages to convince her -- Joey -- that she -- Harley -- might provide a good shoulder for Joey to cry on. Joey yammers that there's simply nothing to cry about. Harley, no fool she, rolls her eyes. "He broke your heart! You're dying inside, wondering what happened to him!" she explains. Joey grins. "Thanks for the recap," she says. Awwww. No sweat, kid. Anyway, Harley announces that she understands the situation better than Joey thinks she does. And besides, isn't she Joey's friend? Joey sort of eyeballs her, and then grins and admits that, yes, Harley is sort of her friend.
"So, how's the search?" Harley asks, bouncing on the bed. Joey explains that there is no search. What is she supposed to do, anyway? Harley yelps that Oliver might have gotten "bonked on the head by international jewel thieves." Joey doubts that, but she does admit that she found a manuscript of his with his home phone and address on it. Is she just supposed to call his parents and ask them where Oliver is, she wonders. "Duh, yes!" Harley says. Joey worries that this might seem "pathetic." Harley rolls her eyes. "It's romantic and heartfelt," she says. Ah, youth. What's romantic and heartfelt at fifteen and even at nineteen is, generally, yes, somewhat pathetic when you are, say, twenty-seven. But Joey thinks about it and finally opines that it couldn't hurt to call. At least she'd know he was alive. Harley nods and hands Joey the phone. She dials. "What's going on?" Harley asks. "Oh, it's all very exciting! The phone? It's actually ringing," Joey retorts sarcastically. I cannot believe I'm saying this, but Joey and Harley are sort of cute together. Dude, I am so easy. Which reminds me, don't forget to check out the new TWoP Personals.
Cut to Worchester. Oliver, in full McFly Attire, answers the phone. He's outside, working on a very old car. Because, in case you didn't get it, he's all blue-collar and stuff. Joey, clearly influenced by the presence of a fifteen-year-old in the room, hangs up as soon as she hears his voice. Oliver simply looks perplexed, puts the phone down, and goes back to working on the car. Oliver and I have the exact same telephone! How excited am I? On the other end of the phone, Joey looks sad.
Over at the NotEnron party, Bobby Briggs and Pacey work the room. After a bit of glad-handing, Bobby Briggs abandons Pacey to go do some high-level schmoozing. Pacey shovels in some canapés and minds his own business. Eventually, an attractive dark-haired women in a skimpy dress races up to him and begs him to pretend to be deep in conversation with her. See, she's trying to escape this ninety-year-old man who won't stop grabbing her ass. "Okay. Hi," Pacey says. "That's it? she asks. "Okay, hi. I'm Pacey Witter," our hero tries again. This woman -- who won't get a name in this episode, so let's just call her Fede RalAgent -- has heard of him. "Let's just say that your reputation precedes you," she coos. She makes it her business to know these things, Fede RalAgent tells him, before making it very, very clear that she does not work for NotEnron. Why doesn't she just wear a shirt that reads, "I'm Undercover"? She looks at him closely and wonders why he's working for Boiler Room, Inc., instead of being in college. How does Fede RalAgent know Pacey hasn't already graduated from college? I mean, if she's not working undercover for the FBI and all? Way to break cover, missy. Pacey yammers something about money and the thrill of the sell and whatever. Wake me up when he buys another boat.
Joey sits at the bar at Liberty Hell's Kitchen, reading Oliver's stories. Flip-Flops comes racing in, hair on end, demanding to know where Harley is. Joey calmly informs him that his daughter is not at the bar, but Flip-Flops spends the five minutes calling for Harley. He stops caterwauling long enough to tell Joey that Harley's school has just called him: Harley's cut class for the fourth time in a month. Harley is okay, I guess, but why do we care if she cuts class or not? Let's move this puppy along. If this is the final season of Dawson's Creek -- and trust me, I'm doing everything I can to make sure it is, up to and including animal sacrifices -- shouldn't they be trying to wrap things up? Shouldn't we be moving to some kind of resolution? Of course, in this instance, I sympathize with the writers: if the network hasn't given them the official word, it must be tough to write their episodes, because they have to hedge their bets as far as the end of the series goes. In other words: make it official, WB, and let us all get on with our lives! Anyway, Joey swears that Harley is not at the bar, and Flip-Flops takes a seat and frantically asks Joey if she thinks Harley is okay. He's very concerned. "I've started to realize that my little muffin might just be a juvenile delinquent," he tells her earnestly. Joey chuckles that Harley is no delinquent. "It's all just a front," she tells him. Flip-Flops points out that this doesn't change the fact that Harley is AWOL. "Our little girl is missing!" he yelps. At this point, of course, Harley shows up. Flip-Flops embraces her fiercely, then demands to know where she's been. "I just had an errand to run. In Worchester," she says. And, on cue, Oliver walks into the frame. "Hey," he drawls. Yeah, he's still pretty. At least we'll always have that.
Tour Bus Of Doom. Marcel The Enabler offers Audrey a drink. She stays on the wagon…for about five minutes. Then she takes some mysterious drugs from Marcel and starts boozing it up again. Yawn. Like anyone really cares about Audrey's descent into drugs and madness anymore, anyway. She's not even an original character! Give Jen a plot, y'all! I mean, Busy Philipps is fine, but she's really best in small, sassy doses. Too much Busy is just, well, too much.
Liberty Hell's Kitchen. Joey stomps about, ignoring Oliver entirely. He begs her to stop freezing him out. And so she says nothing, but allows Flip-Flops to pop into the frame to yelp about the delightful Buffalo wings served by the fine waitstaff at Liberty Hell's Kitchen. Mmm, Buffalo wings. They're on the menu for my Superbowl Sunday spread. Love me some wings. Right. Where were we? Ah, yes -- Joey wonders why Flip-Flops isn't at home, punishing his daughter. Flip-Flops grins that he is punishing her, simply by forcing her to eat a meal with her father. And they need more root beer. Joey stalks off to get them some refreshing, cold soda. While she's gone, Flip-Flops thanks Oliver for driving Harley home. Oliver shrugs. "But do me a favor," Flip-Flops says. "time my daughter visits you in the gutter, shut the door, slither away and leave her the hell alone." With this, he stalks away. My God, is Worchester really that bad?
So, Flip-Flops runs off, and Oliver and Joey get to have their little confrontation. "So, that's it?" Oliver asks. "You're just not going to talk to me." Joey says she doesn't really have anything to say to him. "Joey," Oliver says, all concerned. "I'm here because…I know. I want to help you deal with this. I mean, it's my problem, too." Joey looks perplexed. "I know. It's okay. I know," Oliver says. "About the pregnancy." Joey covers her face with her hands. She explains that she's not pregnant, that Harley concocted that lie to force him to come back to Boston. "So, you're not…you're not pregnant," Oliver parrots. "No!" Joey says. "Even if I was, I certainly wouldn't tell Harley." Oliver is suitably relieved, at least until he notices his short stories on the table and gets all worked up about Joey invading his privacy or something. Joey snidely tells him that she can't see why he's so upset: they're just another piece of his life that he left behind for someone else to clean up. And then he gets all defensive, and she gets all snippy and…you know, whatever. Oliver finally tells her that he's upset about the way "things ended" between them. Joey right points out that nothing officially ended; he just up and left. But now that she knows he isn't dead in a ditch, she says, he can go. Oliver sputters that he left for her own good. "Are you dying, [Oliver]?" Joey snaps. "Were you protecting government secrets? Were you kidnapped by international jewel thieves, was that it?" Please, let one of those theories be the truth! That, at last, would be something interesting. But, no…it is not to be. Instead, Oliver just announces that leaving Joey was "the hardest thing [he's] ever done." And now he's just going to leave. "Fine!" "Fine!" "Fine!" And he stomps out. Joey stomps after him.
Out in the street, we have the best exchange of dialogue ever put to paper. Joey: "Why, Oliver, why?" Oliver: "Because." Joey: "Because?" Has anyone ever said, "Why, [insert name here], why?" In real life, I mean. Like, ever? The answer to that is: no. Anyhoo, Oliver tells Joey that he's ashamed. He's not good enough for Saint Joey! He's unemployed! He got evicted! He's not her equal! She's so wonderful and he's so very not! Joey says she doesn't care if he's unemployed, or, really, about any of that. "I'm poor too, remember? I'm just like you," she yelps. But Oliver keeps praising Joey and putting himself down, whining that she has a future and he doesn't. Didn't she already do this dance with Pacey? ["Yes, and it's not any more believable the second time around." -- Sars] "Can't you see, Joey? I'm nothing," Oliver says. And nothing is hotter than a man who believes he's worthless. So I take a little nap and then make a sandwich, and when I come back, Oliver is still yapping about how he has no job, no education, no prospects. "And I've got the rejection letter to prove it," he finally finishes. Poor Oliver Hudson. I really do think he does his best with what they're giving him here, and he's certainly cute. I think he's got a good face for television. I have to admit that I hope he finds a decent gig after this is over. Joey points out that Oliver's rejection letter said he had promise. Oliver responds that they say that to everyone. "And the truth is, Jo, you deserve to be with the best guy in the room." Yawn. Joey pouts sadly. "You're going to have whatever you want in this life, Joey," Oliver finishes. "I wanted you," she says. Oliver tells her that she wanted the boy she thought he was that day in class when he was all smart and cocky and not totally pathetic. "And I'm not him," he tells her. And then he leaves. Joey stands there and looks dumbstruck. Oh, the angst. Oh, the pathos. Oh, the…snore.
Back to the Battle of the Bands, or whatever it is. Audrey is, naturally, sloshed, and climbs on stage late. Emma looks utterly peeved, but begins drumming. Audrey lurches toward the microphone and starts caterwauling. She sounds hideous. The girls in the band exchange deeply irritated glances.
And…over to Pacey's plot. He's working the room some more when Bobby Briggs grabs him. Pacey asks Bobby Briggs if he knows Fede RalAgent, but her back is to them, and Bobby Briggs can't see her face. I only mention that because I presume it will come into play later in this riveting, compelling, not at all predictable story arc. Bobby takes Pacey with him to meet with the president of NotEnron. Fede RalAgent watches them go and thinks about how her concealed weapon is really starting to chafe.
Cut to the dark, smoky study of the president of NotEnron, who's smoking a cigar and is lit only by the light from the fireplace. We get it: he's evil. As if all the smoke billowing around his face wasn't enough of a clue, the president of NotEnron is Leland Palmer. And Leland Palmer, as everyone who watched Twin Peaks knows, is actually possessed by the devil. Seriously, kids -- if BOB makes an appearance, I am out. Pacey, this man will kill you. RUN! Instead of bailing, however, Pacey kisses Leland Palmer's ass and Leland Palmer kisses Pacey's ass, and it turns out that Leland Palmer and Bobby Briggs want Pacey to take a "more prominent role" in the NotEnron account. His title will stay the same, but he'll get a big raise and his name will be on every transaction that Boiler Room, Inc., handles for NotEnron. Or, in layman's terms, Pacey will get a raise for a few months while he's being set up as Leland Palmer's and Bobby Briggs's patsy, and then he'll go to jail for cheating the Feds while Leland and Bobby spend all the money they've funneled into Swiss bank accounts and Cayman Island tax shelters on hookers and blow. Pacey, however, is apparently a total idiot and doesn't see that two plus two is equaling five here, and thinks this entire thing is a great idea! Pacey, Pacey, Pacey. Never make a deal with Leland Palmer.
Liberty Hell's Kitchen. Harley asks Joey if she's mad. Joey isn't, but she'd prefer it if Harley would quit telling people that she's knocked up. Harley apologizes. "You were so sad. I just thought I could help," she says. Joey knows that, she says, and takes a seat. "He's gone. He just left. And he's given up," she says. And the sad thing is, she says, his stories are aces. But there's nothing she can do about that. Harley…God. This is so dull. I really just want to stop recapping this plot line and start recapping, say, this copy of InStyle on my coffee table. "Oh, stop complaining," my Mulder action figure tells me. "Yeah. You left us in the freezer for weeks while this show was on reruns. I have no feeling left in my right foot," the Scully says. "At least you have the use of all your extremities!" Fine! So, Harley suggests that Flip-Flops read Oliver's stories. Joey whines that Flip-Flops would never help, and Oliver would never let him. Harley rightly points out that if Flip-Flops hates the stories, Oliver never has to know. And if he doesn't hate them, maybe he'll help. So, ten excruciatingly dull minutes later, Joey asks Flip-Flops for his help. And -- after some yelping about how Oliver punched him and could have disfigured him -- Flip-Flops leaves. There's this whole rigmarole about Harley leaving her book bag at the bar, and blah blah blah…basically, Flip-Flops ends up reading the stupid stories. That's all you really need to know. If you even care anymore. Especially about the shenanigans of a bunch of characters we'd never even heard of before this season.
At the club, Audrey is still singing horribly. She does a little crowd-surfing and then passes out cold, right there onstage. The rest of the band looks wicked pissed.
We go to commercial, and when we come back, the band Loudermilk plays for twenty minutes. They're pretty good, especially after all that screaming from Audrey. Speaking of Audrey, she's recovering backstage. Her make-up has run down her face, and she's sniffling pathetically. I sort of want to smack her. Emma brings her a glass of water and announces that Audrey is out of the band. Audrey slurs something about trying harder, but Emma doesn’t want to hear it. "You're out," she repeats.
Liberty Hell's Kitchen. The Return Of Flip-Flops. He's read the stories. They're "overwrought and derivative," but good, he says. And he thinks Oliver can, with a recommendation from him, get admitted to some hoity-toity writers' program in California. He tells Joey to give Oliver the good word. "I think he'd rather hear it from you," Joey says. Flip-Flops cocks a skeptical brow and points out that Oliver clocked him. "I'll give him a recommendation. I kinda think that's enough," he drawls dryly. But sensitive Princess Joey is scared that Oliver won't listen to her. "That's a fascinating saga," Flip-Flops tells her sarcastically, informing her that the ball is in her court. She can tell Oliver or not, he really doesn't care. "Look, I'm off. I've got Harley chained to a radiator," he says. Heh. Flip-Flops is pretty funny in this episode. I think I may be transferring my Todd Love to Flip-Flops. Joey looks horrified. "It's a joke, Joey. Get a sense of humor," Flip-Flops suggests, God bless him.
The Party Where Pacey Made The Most Boring Deal With The Devil Ever. Pacey's leaving, but Fede RalAgent can't let him go without some dramatic warnings about how he needs to ask himself why it's all been so easy at Boiler Room, Inc. "Or if it's just a little too good to be true," she finishes. "Good luck, Pacey," she says, then climbs into her car and speeds back to Quantico. Pacey makes a face like his head is about to collapse under the weight of his hair.
So, Audrey stumbles inside her dorm room, rummages through her underwear drawer, and finds a bottle of Jim Beam. She chugs half of it, then stares at herself in the mirror. We get it! She hates herself! Whatever! No one cares! Audrey sucks! Audrey is boring! Audrey won't stop whinging! Audrey used to be fun, and now she's none! She trips into the bathroom and pours the rest of the booze down the drain. Then she flings the bottle onto the ground, where it breaks everywhere. And then she collapses on the bed. For accuracy, I think that this portrayal of drunkenness calls for more vomiting.
Worchester -- which, according to this episode, is second only to hell as far as undesirable neighborhoods go. Joey walks right up to Oliver's front door and knocks. He answers. "Hey." "Hey." Scintillating. Anyway, Joey hands him his stories, and tells him about the Very Convenient Writer's Program. Oliver walks onto the porch. "What's the point, Joey?" he asks, telling her that he can't afford the program even if he gets in. Joey tells him he could always get a scholarship, or financial aid, or maybe one of his friends will give him a pile of money in exchange for having sex with him the following season. "This is a shot, Oliver, a real shot," Joey tells him. "I suggest you take it." Oliver makes a wishy-washy face, and Joey tells him not to be such a coward, not to give up so easily. She turns to go, and then walks back and gets right in his face and tells him that she thought he wanted to be one of those people who, you know, really lives life, but now she knows that he's just afraid. Oliver looks at the ground and then admits that she's right. Joey's hair, by the way, looks awful. It's parted in the middle and all flat and two-toned. She looks wretched. And I know Katie Holmes has the ability to look very pretty, so I have to think that she's made an enemy of the hair and make-up folks somewhere along the way. "So, now what? What are you going to do about it?" she asks. He kisses her. "No. Wrong answer," Joey tells him. Oliver yelps that he's just taking a chance. "That's not what I meant. It's too late for that," Joey says, then tries to escape. Oliver calls her back. "I love you," he says. They stare at each other. "Please, Joey, don't go. I don't want it to be too late," he says. "I love you, too," Joey confesses. And then she walks away. "Bye," she calls sadly. Oliver stands on the porch and looks all choked up. Is she walking back to Boston? Are they…broken up? Or…what just happened there? Oy.
Worthington. Joey walks into her room and sees Audrey fast asleep in her jammies. I guess she came to, changed, and climbed back into bed. I'd say that was impossible in her drunken state, but this past New Year's Eve, I came home totally sloshed and made spinach dip, so I guess anything is possible. Joey kneels down to pick up Audrey's coat and spies the broken glass on the floor of the bathroom. Looking concerned, she tries to wake Audrey and can't. Scared, she goes to the phone and dials 911.
And that would be a fabulous cliffhanger if the WB hadn't shown Audrey alive and kicking in the previews for the week. Way to go, guys!