Tonight's WB presentation is intended for the members of our audience who think it's still the early nineties.
Previously on Dawson's Creek: Gretchen confessed to Dawson that she got pregnant the semester, thus winning Sars five chocolate bars; Joey told Pacey that they could do other things besides have sex, and then he tickled her; The Flash and Gale told Dawson that they'd decided not to keep the baby, and Dawson couldn't believe it; Drue gave Jen Ecstasy for her non-birthday, which annoyed her, and he thought she protested too much; Sars had a gastrointestinal aneurysm and spewed bile all over the Internet.
Capeside High exterior. Fade to the library, where Andie "Mother's Little Helper" McPhee is advising Jen "Big Apple Circus" Lindley on how to approach the college application process. The two girls approach a shelf of Barron's-type books, and Andie suggests that Jen start by looking at New York schools, since it's "her old 'hood." Jen has spent three years trying to get away from that, she says, but Andie thought Jen had recently decided that she missed her old friends "at the haunt," whatever that means. Jen thinks "Long Over" Drue Valentine has "been whispering in [Andie's] ear," and Andie admits that she and Drue had a little "confab" at the club the other day, and Drue told her about how he and Jen and their friends used to go to the haunt -- or, I guess, "the Haunt" -- and stay out dancing and drinking till all hours and blah bling blah. Jen grumblingly calls Drue "the prince of revisionist history," like, Jen? If Drue bugs you that much, just ignore him. Jesus. Just then, Jack "Unconfirmed Bachelor" McPhee dashes up to them all out of breath. Andie asks what's up, and after much melodramatic "oh it's nothing" build-up, Jack whips out an envelope from Harvard addressed to Andie. It's a regular old number-ten envelope, which Andie takes from Jack while she starts to hyperventilate, and she starts stressing that "if it's a yes, it would be bigger, right?" while Jen and Jack look on wearing expectant smiles, and I can't speak for Harvard, but I got in early action myself, and the acceptance came in a big old one-inch-thick manila job, but maybe Harvard does things differently. Non-witty "size matters" repartee between Andie and Jen. Neurotic fondling of the envelope by Andie. Rambling about the future. Just as I notice liver spots forming on the backs of my hands, Jack moves things along: "Will you open it?" God, word. Andie tears open the envelope and reads the letter aloud. To nobody's surprise, Harvard has accepted her. Jack and Jen excitedly shout, "You're in! You're in!" and Jack hugs a gaping Andie and calls out, "Hey everybody, my sister just got into Harvard" (aw), and everyone in the library claps politely instead of shushing them, and as a cat faces off against a table saw on the soundtrack, Andie clutches at the neckline of her blouse and makes gaspy fish faces.
Everything about the Grinch remake gives me the heebs…except his doormat that says "BUZZ OFF" on it. I want that doormat. Christmas is coming. Just, you know, putting that out there.
Marina scenes, accompanied by a mall-ternative ovary. Cut to The Only Record Store In Capeside. Gretchen "Old Sassy Tree" Witter walks in, sporting a soccer-mom-ish ironed hair-don't, and spots Dawson "Miffy Lube" Leery browsing the aisles, which inspires her to grab a disc from a display and hand it to him: "If you're looking for something new and different, may I suggest Morcheeba?" Not a bad choice, actually, but then she has to ruin it by pontificating: "They're a little Herbie Hancock, a little Biz Markie [which she pronounces 'marquis,' with the emphasis on the second syllable -- the hell?], and just a touch of Poe tossed in for good measure." Well, no, not really. Maybe Portishead meets Bowery Electric by way of Saint Etienne, but…Herbie Hancock? Regardless -- shut up, Gretchen. Gretchen gives him guff for never even having heard of Morcheeba, and I'd really really like her to knock it off with the pop-culture Virgil act. A guy in a button-down hands Gretchen a flyer, looks Dawson over, and keeps moving (heh), and Dawson asks, "Party invite?" "Not just a party, a rave," Gretchen says, and we get a shot of the flyer, which has a bunch of bands listed in the requisite Tron-esque font and lots of electrical imagery. Dawson makes a crack about "suburban, rhythm-impaired youths," and Gretchen philosophizes that "it does a body good" blah blah blah "let loose for a while" blah diddly-ah "raves aren't just an outlet for dancing" blah dee blah "sort of a…declaration of independence" blah blah blah outdated-cultural-commentary-cakes, like, did she read that in an old issue of Wired? Shut UP, Gretchen. "Yeah, right up there with the Boston Tea Party," Dawson snorts. Yeah, really. But Gretchen just blabbers on about "rebel subculture" and how raves serve as their generation's attempt to define "who and what [they] are" and "how [they're] gonna live [their] lives," and let me just clarify one thing right now. I've never gone to a proper rave myself, so I'd hardly call myself the arbiter of accuracy on the subject, but my best friend got way into the rave scene in college so I know a bit about it, and first of all, said scene is more over than Hanson. Second of all, rave culture is hardly our generation's Woodstock. Rave culture is about getting really fucked up and staying out all night. That's it. Underground Culture Sensei needs to ease up on the exaggeration throttle. Dawson agrees with me, saying he doesn't think they can "keep tedium at bay by wearing glitter and jumping around to techno-pop," which I confess made me laugh, but Gretchen says patronizingly, "It's called fun," and Dawson should come with her and check it out. Dawson takes a pass, saying that it's not his "scene," and when Gretchen argues that he's never gone to a rave, so how would he know, Dawson says he's never gone two-stepping either, but he's not about to buy a pair of cowboy boots.
Gretchen corrects him, "Yeah, well, two-stepping isn't all the rage with the nation's youth." Gretchen, check the dial on your time machine -- it isn't 1992. The nation's youth listens to Limp Bizkit now. Look it up. Gretchen keeps trying to convince Dawson, using the word "intro" as a verb; Dawson wisely keeps declining. Gretchen calls it one of the "terms and conditions" of their "new-friendship clause" that each of them exposes the other to new things they haven't tried before, like, did Dawson sign up for Outward Bound? No, he didn't, so SHUT. UP. Gretchen! Dawson asks for a rain check but promises to take her up on it time, threatening to show her "how insufferably uncool [he] can be." If she hasn't figured that out by now...I mean, come on. Gretchen says that he doesn't give himself enough credit -- huh? It's not just 1992, it's also Opposite Day? -- and adds, "I mean, at worst, you're just mildly uncool." Dawson thanks her. She urges him to at least give the Morcheeba disc a spin, and they head for a listening booth.
Out on the sidewalk, Pacey "Blue Hawaii" Witter complains, "This town is sorely lacking in post-meridian activities." Joey "On A Cleeeeeear Day, You Can See My Baaaaaackbone" Potter suggests doing "a Bonnie and Clyde," which would solve their two biggest problems, "money and boredom." Pacey seizes on the idea and rambles on about wearing a fedora and taking pictures with a box camera and yadda yadda, and as he talks, Joey pauses in front of The Only Record Store and looks through the window at Dawson and Gretchen dorking out in a listening booth. Pacey asks if she wants to go in; unconvincingly, she says, "Naaaah, not right now," and leads him away.
Over at The McPhee Institute For Cryogenic Reanimation Research, formerly known as "McPhee Manor," Mr. "Dead And Angry About It" McPhee takes out his Harvard letter sweater, saying that his father gave it to him when he got into Harvard, and Angry saved the sweater, hoping for this very moment. "You look perfect in it," he tells Andie delightedly. "Daddy, I'm not perfect, not by a long shot," she reminds him. Behind her, Jack rolls his eyes and imitates their father in a lockjaw accent: "You know, Andie, wearing the Crimson signifies excellence. In fact, I remember when the boys and I first got to the Yard…" All three of them break up laughing, and Angry starts enthusing about the course book, and seeing what "warhorses are lecturing this fall," and the summer session, and Jack has to bring him back down to earth. Angry admits that he's "getting ahead of" himself, but says that it's the greatest moment of Andie's life: "I've never been more proud of you than I am right now." He hugs her and gives her a kiss on the head. Aw. I remember when I got into Princeton.
I grabbed the envelope from my mother and ran upstairs and turned on Beethoven really loud so my parents couldn't hear anything in case I didn't get in and had to start crying and feeling sorry for myself, and I crawled under my bed and ripped open the envelope, and the letter said, "Yes!" (literally. That's the first word of the Princeton acceptance letter. Nice of them to cut to the chase, I thought) and I started shrieking for joy because I never thought I'd get in, but nobody could hear me what with the Fifth Symphony thundering away, and I'd gotten stuck under the bed as well, but I finally wriggled out and ran downstairs all covered with dust bunnies, and there's my dad pacing the floor in the front hall, and I jumped off the steps and into his arms and yelled, "I got in! I got in! Suckers let me in! Whee!" and my dad told me that he loved me and that I'd made him very proud, and because my dad doesn't say that stuff easily at all, preferring instead to express his feelings in impressionistic little ways like taking my car to the car wash before I come home for the weekend, I've always treasured that moment.
Aaaaanyway. Little detour down Memory Lane there. So, Jack says that he expects to get the same speech from Angry when he gets into clown college (shout-out?), and Angry gives Jack a quick hug around the shoulders and then goes to phone his fellow alumni and tell them the news. Andie and Jack sigh tolerantly at their rabidly pro-Harvard father, and Jack comments that it's "a big sweater to fill." When Andie, silently checking her crimson-clad self in the mirror, doesn't respond, Jack tells her not to let Angry "get to" her, and not to "freak [herself] out, either." "I'm not freaked out -- I'm not anything," Andie shrugs, saying that she wishes she would freak out; it's supposedly the greatest moment of her life, and she "should feel amazing or happy or something." Jack skeptically asks if she really doesn't feel anything, and Andie sighs, "One big fat empty." If I recall correctly, after the initial surge of joy, the whole getting-into-college thing felt pretty anticlimactic, and Andie shouldn't worry about it, but Andie expositions that her medication is responsible; it helps even out her lows, but in doing so, it tends to dampen her highs. She tells Jack not to worry, she'll "be bouncing off the walls in a few days," which prompts Jack to remember that he got a flyer for the rave, and he thinks she should go -- she just got into Harvard, and she deserves a night of "wild, reckless abandon." She gives him a "sounds good to me" look.
Cut to the Capeside High computer lab, where Jen is doing research on CollegeSeeker.net. As her mouse strays over the entry for Pace University (one of my cousins went there -- shout-out?), the AOL guy product-placingly tells her, "You've got mail!" It's a scan of the rave flyer, sent by Drue. Jen clears her throat before muttering at Drue that, if he sends it to her once more, she'll slam his fingers "in the doorjamb [sic]." Whuh? At a desk behind her, Drue tells her, "Come on, think back to your halcyon heyday. You were the über-raver." "Halcyon"? Shut up, Drue. And if Jen went to so many raves, how come we've never heard about it before now? I mean, we know she allegedly used to go out clubbing, and we know she got caught with that Billy guy in her parents' bed, but never have the writers said a word about raves, or drugs, until this season. Oh, why do I bother. Moving on -- Drue calls Jen "a pod person" and says that the Jen he knew "thrived on" her rep as a party girl and "personified fun." He makes fun of her for browsing CollegeSeeker.net, and she mutters between clenched teeth that she remembers why her skin crawls every time he's around; he tells her that her skin crawls because he reminds her "of what [she's] missing." Jen needs "stimuli," Drue says; too long without it, and the "little voices inside" start asking for it, and Drue bets that by now Jen's little voices "are screaming." Yeah, no doubt -- to the tune of "get us off of this fucking show!" and "we know what really happened to that continuity editor who 'went on an extended sabbatical'!" and "shut up, Drue -- FUCKING SHUT UP!" God knows my little voices started in with that months ago. Anyway, Drue tortures Jen further by telling her that, when he came back downstairs after her non-birthday non-party, he found Jen, and the Ecstasy he'd given her, gone. She calls him "such a bastard." Drue lays on the peer non-pressure with a trowel. Jen tells him she's "no longer fourteen and naïve," and he'll have to do better than that, but she's clearly flustered. Drue slings more Dr. Feelgood bullshit in her direction and leaves; she glares at his retreating back. Seriously, I don't know why Jen doesn't just laugh him off -- the whole "come back to the dark side" routine is a joke. ["I don't know why the other students in the lab don't tell them both to keep it down, already." -- Wing Chun]
Reconciliation Ranch. Dawson walks in on a candlelit table, smooth jazz, and Mitch "The Flash" Leery and Gale "Mama Don't Preach" Leery slow-dancing. Noticing balloons as the table's centerpiece, Dawson reads aloud from one of them: "'Congratulations'?" His parents turn to face him; Gale stammers that she thought he had to work at the IHOF that night, and Dawson expositions that "it was slow," so they sent him home. The Flash says he's glad Dawson's home, because they have something to tell him, and Gale pipes up that they've "spent a lot of time thinking about this," and, despite all the logical reasons not to, they've knuckled under to his emotional blackmail and elected to have the baby. God and sonny Jesus…see last week's recap for my feelings on this turn of events. Dawson, elated that his manipulation has once again allowed him to prevail, showers his parents with hugs and congratulations. The Flash asks if "this is really how [Dawson feels]," because Dawson is their sun and moon and the arbiter of their every decision. Dawson says, "Yes, absolutely, completely." Gale offers to fix Dawson a plate, but Dawson says he already ate, so he's going to change and head out for the evening. The Flash muses, "You know what I love about that kid?" Gale, mistily: "Everything." ["Ah, then it really is Opposite Day." -- Wing Chun] Oy. Shut up, Gale. The Flash says yes, that and the fact that Dawson "can totally take a hint." I wonder how many takes it required for John Wesley Shipp to deliver that line with a straight face.
Witterschloss. Gretchen, still sporting the ironed hair and now clad also in a retina-searing hot pink sleeveless v-neck top with a matching necktie doodad and about a pound of Wet 'n' Wild purple eye-shadow, brags that she's attended "at least a dozen raves, and they've all been great." Joey primps in the mirror and snarks about sweaty people packed together and "potentially ear-damaging decibels," and Gretchen sticks a fake crown on Joey's head and chides her to give it a chance. In the kitchen area, Pacey product-places a Nantucket Nectar and shakes his head at the crown, although a headpiece like that would probably fit right in at the average rave. Joey says she's "actually kind of excited to check out this new revolution." Oh, for God's sake. It's neither new nor a revolution. Please, spare us the master's-thesis blatherskite on the higher meaning of raves. Pacey and Gretchen do the sibling-banter thing on the subject of Gretchen's former-Homecoming-Queen love of high-school dances, and Gretchen tells Pacey that, if he doesn't want to go, she and Joey "are totally fine leaving [him] here." Pacey says he's into going. Gretchen answers the door and finds Dawson; he's "cashing in [his] rain check." Gretchen invites him in. Awkwardness ensues. The foursome heads to the car.
Ryan Home. Andie says they have to go, it's time to pick up Jack; Jen can't find directions to the "map point"; exposition of the map point as "a buffer zone for undesirables" where rave-goers get directions to the actual location; yeah, yeah, we all saw the "I want to buy…an egg" scene on , back when a rave plotline might have had something resembling relevance. More bitter grumbling from Jen about "grooving to the point of exhaustion" and "disenfranchised youth." Andie feels guilty for making Jen come with her. Jen reassures her that she wants to celebrate with Andie. Andie says she thinks they need to have some fun, and goes to pee. Jen digs into her underwear drawer and gets out the E-Tarts and strokes them. The Piano Of Peer-Pressure Conflict plays. Andie comes back in to get her lip gloss and spots the party favors. "We're not talking aspirin, are we?" she asks Jen, concerned. Jen bites her lip and looks guilty.
The Levi's corduroy-badger-mating-dance commercial cracks me up.
Foreheadmobile. Gretchen reminisces about the last time they all spent in a car together, six years ago. Dawson smiles tolerantly; in the back seat, Pacey glowers, and Joey watches the interplay between Dawson and Gretchen with a bemused eyebrow-arch. Dawson tucks a lank lock behind his ear and looks smug.
Playground, somewhere in Capeside. "Ecstasy, wow," Andie says, and asks if Jen's done a lot of it. "Yeah, in New York," Jen says wearily. "I never went to a rave without it, and I went to a lot of raves." Right. A lot of raves. That we never heard about. Until now. Because, according to the writers, we all have amnesia. Whatever -- I won't start, because I'd never stop. Andie speculates that Jen must have liked what E did for her, or she wouldn't have kept taking it, and Jen expounds that "the first few times, it's amazing. It's hard not to love 'the X effect.'" "Which is…what, exactly?" Andie wants to know. Jen wonders what's with all the questions. Andie shrugs too-nonchalantly that she's "just curious," and it's a way to pass the time until Jack gets out of his meeting. Jen buys this, and they sit down on a swing-set so that Jen can hold forth on the subject of designer drugging: "The first time you do X, it's really good. You get this feeling of loving everybody and everything, and everybody loves you, and that can be really powerful. X just made me really happy…it provided a pleasant vacation from my usual spot under the bell jar." Oh, please. Andie says that, if it makes you happy, "it doesn't sound so bad," and Jen says that "it's not, at first," but after six hours, it wears off and leaves you more depressed than before. Jen goes on to PSA that X, like "any drug," makes you lose your inhibitions, and that's why she stopped: "I just didn't know who I was anymore." Andie asks to see the X, saying again that she's just curious and wants to know what they look like. Well, Andie, X looks nothing like what Jen's got, but whatever. Jen hands over the box and says, "Andie, you're way too interested." Andie says sheepishly that she's "just interested in feeling happy." Jen asks if Andie didn't just get into Harvard, and Andie holds the X up to her nose and sniffs at it (?), confessing that she's not having the "moment of sheer joy" she'd anticipated. Jen asks if she wants to talk about it, but Andie doesn't; she just wants to have fun and deal with her problems later. Jen smiles all world-wearily at Andie's enthusiasm. Andie thinks it's just a delayed reaction, and she'll feel happy about it soon. Jen nods in agreement and holds out her hand to take the box back, but Jack appears just then, so Andie hides the box in her armpit, and they make small talk with Jack, saying "girl talk" all shiftily when he asks if he interrupted something. Jen shoots Andie a bunch of really obvious nervous glances, and when they get up to go to the car, Jen hisses at Andie to give her the box back, but Andie says "not here," Jack will suspect something. Kind of a dumb scene, but both actresses did a good job given the thankless lines they got saddled with.
The Foreheadmobile at the map point. Gretchen and Dawson go to get the directions. Pacey watches Dawson hold out a hand to help Gretchen over a chain-link fence, and wonders when the two of them became "going-out-together buddies." "I believe this is the inaugural event," Joey shrugs. Pacey asks if it bothers Joey that, out of all the guys in Capeside "who want to befriend" Gretchen, she picked Dawson. Yeah, no kidding, although it's not like we've seen a single one of the aforementioned guys, but whatever. Joey shrugs again that Dawson's the only person working at the restaurant who's close to Gretchen's age, so it's "natural" that they'd become friends. Pacey reminds her that he didn't ask her that; he asked her if it bothered her. No, it doesn't. Yes, it does. No, it doesn't: "It [Joey smooches him] bothers you. You just want it to bother me, too." What's bothering Joey, then? "You," Joey mock-snorts, then grins brightly and pushes Pacey's lips up in a smile with her fingers. He laughs. Heh.
Dawson. Gretchen. Dorky map-point guy. Gretchen asks if Dawson's okay with "the Joey-Pacey component of the evening." Dawson says that it's awkward, but he'll live, and tells Gretchen that his parents decided to keep the baby. She reacts enthusiastically; he says he'd have told her sooner, but "in light of…" She waves this away and tells him he can "absolutely talk to" her about it, and he says he really wanted to share and he's excited and the planets have once again aligned in orbit around him, blah dee blah. Gretchen busts out a non-witty bromide about the benefits of younger siblings. Dawson thanks her again for her counsel. Gretchen's split ends gleam under the floodlight. Gretchen says that, if there's one thing she's good for, it's the occasional "attitude adjustment." Well, that and using your Social Security check to buy beer. She and Dawson share a friendly laugh. Bleah.
Wal-Rave parking lot. The McPhees and Jen pull into a parking space, and Jack pops out of the car, shouting, "Aw, man, this is awesome -- rave time has arrived!" Jack? I'll let it go this time, but -- shut up. Jen quickly asks Andie if they've finished their conversation, and if Andie's okay; Andie says they have, and she feels "really great." Jen asks for the X back. Andie says reluctantly that she hopes Jen won't get mad, but she "sort of took one." Jen freaks and asks when she took it blah blah blah Andie "carpe diem" blah blah blah Jen "this is so not good for you" blah blah blah Andie "you said it was amazing the first few times" blah blah blah she's earned an amazing night and she'll pay Jen back blah blah blah Jen doesn't care about the money, she cares about Andie blah blah blah trip-cakes. Andie says again that she feels fine, and asks if they can not tell Jack about this, because he wouldn't approve. Jen grudgingly agrees.
Dawson, Gretchen, Joey, and Pacey head for the Wal-Rave entrance, running into Drue on their way. Non-witty non-repartee. The McPhees and Jen walk up, and Dawson congratulates Andie on her Harvard acceptance; she's starting to bliss out, and she hugs Dawson, Joey, and Pacey juuuust a little bit longer than she should. Drue points this out to Joey while Andie embraces Pacey, then takes off. Gretchen asks dismissively, "Who is that guy?" "Did you ever meet Abby Morgan?" Dawson asks. Ba dum bum. Dawson Leery, ladies and gentlemen. Try the fishcake, it's delicious. Andie gushes to Jen that "this place is so beautiful," and Jen grimly herds her inside.
Inside the Wal-Rave, it's time for a montage of dancing bodies, flashing lights, and smoky air. The gang comes in and surveys the dance floor; Gretchen makes Smurfy "woo woo" noises and does the churn-the-butter dance with her hands over her head, Dawson smiles goofily, and Andie strokes Joey's arm. Jen yanks her away: "Andie -- petting Joey? Not a good way to maintain a low profile." Hee. Jen tells Andie that she needs to "maintain," especially around people she'll see again after the weekend; Andie again tells her that she's "fiiiiiine," and that Jen doesn't have to worry about her. Jen tells Andie that she wants to keep an eye on Andie, so Andie should "stick by" her. Andie wrinkles her nose and beams, "You're the best, Jen," and starts smoothing Jen's hair and saying how soft it feels, and Jen smothers a laugh, grabs Andie's hand, and tells her she has to try harder. Jack comes up and, well, raves about the rave, followed by Drue, who asks, "Which of you McPhees is gonna dance?" Andie squeals, "Me!" Drue leads her away; Jen tells Jack to keep an eye on Andie and Drue while she goes to get some water, because "he's not the kind of guy you leave your sister with." Jack nods and disappears into the crowd behind Andie and Drue. Jen looks around and starts to sigh heavily, but the editor chops off the reel and dumps us into the WB Wednesday Night promo. Who edits the show these days, Stevie Wonder?
Back from commercial to the Wal-Rave. "Trippy" montage featuring lots of swooping hand-held Blair Witch camerawork, close-ups on lights, and dolly shots past banks of neon tubes. Oh, now I feel like I'm there. Or I would if the rave didn't look like a club in Jersey, which it does. Anyway, over by the smart-drinks bar in a wash of distracting pink light, Gretchen apologizes to Joey for "the Dawson snafu," explaining that when she initially invited him, he said no. Joey says it's okay, and that she's kind of glad they all ended up going together; she adds that things between her and Dawson have slowly begun improving. Gretchen's glad to hear that: "The three of you have so much history. And Dawson's such a great guy." We get it, Neil Not-Young -- shut up already. Joey considers for a moment, then decides to forge ahead: "Speaking of Dawson, um, and I know this is none of my business, but -- is there possibly, even in the vaguest way, um, well, something happening with you and Dawson?" Gretchen pales, runs to a nearby trash can, and hurls into it before -- oh, sorry, she just laughs and asks where that came from. Joey reminds Gretchen of Dawson's "incredibly infamous crush" on her. Gretchen shoots back, "Yeah, the one that ended when he was, like, twelve." She bops away from Joey, but Joey persists: "Well, um, see, Gretchen, um…Dawson has this, uh, way of hanging onto things since he was, like, twelve." Gretchen, bobbing up and down in place, starts to look thoughtful as Joey goes on, "Yeah, I mean, sure, he outgrows them, puts them in their proper perspective, but that doesn't always mean that they're gone." Gretchen chews her lip; Joey theorizes that if Dawson thinks there's a chance with Gretchen…Gretchen interrupts to say that, if Dawson's waiting for "some childhood crush" to come back to him, he's not waiting on Gretchen, and she gives Joey a pointed look before strutting off. Joey half-rolls her eyes and sighs.
In the crowd, Andie dances happily; Drue watches, amused, and then shouts, "Andie McPhee, you are so high!" "Me? No I'm not!" Andie says quickly, a confused smile on her face, but Drue strokes her face and she blisses out again. Okay, okay, she's rolling. We get it. Drue laughs, "Feels good, don't it?" and Andie snaps out of it all busted and tells him conspiratorially that she's "supposed to be maintaining," and that Jen's looking after her. Drue tells her that he's "a far, far better guide through the looking glass [sic] than Jen Lindley will ever be." Cram it, Timothy Dreary -- no one cares. Andie ignores him and plays with his hair. "Come on, Ivy League, let's have fun," Drue says, taking her hand again, and they dance past a girl in a blue wig and yellow goggles who actually looks like she might belong at a real-life rave, and the crowd swallows them up.
In the quiet room, Joey finds Pacey moping on a couch. She tells him mock-sternly that he's violating the buddy system. He makes a sardonic comment about "the most tuneless music known to man." ["Watch your mouth, pal -- that was the Chemical Brothers!" -- Wing Chun] She in turn makes a crack about having failed to dress in "what can only be described as an homage to Japanese animation." Oh, all right: heh. More convo about how it's not their thing, and then a smooch, and then Joey shoots him a sidelong glance and asks if he remembers how they used to play "barnacle for your thoughts." Instead of a barnacle, she crowns him with a neon glow necklace and compliments him on the Caesar look (shout-out to our boards? I think so), and Pacey admits that he misses the "True Love." "I miss her too, Pacey," Joey says sadly. Pacey puts his arm around her.
Off to the side of the main dance floor, Dawson catches up with Gretchen and offers her a glow necklace. She reacts less than keenly, so Dawson asks if something's wrong, and she sighs and says there's no easy way to ask what she's going to ask, so she'll just put it out there: "Is it possible, even in the vaguest way, that you're here because you think there's a chance something might be happening between us?" Dawson says in a patronizing tone that there is something happening between them: "It's called friendship." "And that's all you expect?" she asks. Dawson wants to know if he did anything that made her think he expected more, and she says no, she feels ridiculous, it's totally out of the blue, and Dawson cops to having a huge crush on her back in the day, "but I don't think that's where either one of us are at [sic] right now." "At"? Whatever, Me Generation. "So where are we at?" Gretchen asks. Dawson reprises his customary poor-betrayed-me aria, saying that "when that boat sailed last summer," he lost his two best friends, but he's moved on and made a new friend in Gretchen: "You're easy to talk to, you give really good advice…but I don't expect anything." Gretchen smiles warmly as he yammers on about how it's the opposite, it's nice to "be in the present with somebody," yadda, and his hair seriously looks like he's understudying the role of the depressed brother in Crumb: The Musical. Gretchen chooses to believe Dawson's post-hippie in-the-now blithering and changes the subject, asking, "Dance or bounce?" Dawson gives her a condescending smile and repeats, "'Bounce'?"
Cut to Drue and Andie, giggling. Andie flounces along, sucking on a lollipop, and the two of them run into Pacey and Joey. Andie squawks, "It's you guys! I love you guys," and wraps her arms around Pacey. Heh. Drue makes a snide comment; Pacey shoots Drue a droll glance over Andie's shoulder, and Joey looks uncomfortable. Then Andie flails towards Joey, who thinks Andie's "done enough hugging for one night." Andie just wants to show them how much she loves them both; she thinks they're "so good together," and Joey is "so nice -- well, except for the time when you dumped Dawson for Pacey. That was pretty cold." Bwa! Joey and Pacey stare at her in frank horror as she flames on, "But really, who can blame you? I mean, it's Pacey." A quick shot of Drue looking back and forth between Andie and Pacey with barely disguised glee; then Andie opens up a vein of truth and bleeds all over everyone: "I pretend not to care, but I have to admit, Pace, you are the love of my life…" Shot of Pacey smiling awkwardly. "…and I am so not over you." Joey eyebrowing "what -- the -- fuck" in Pacey's direction. Back to Andie: "I hope it's okay that I said that -- I mean, we're all really good friends, so it shouldn't be that big of a secret, right?" "It's news to me, Andie," Joey grumps. Drue grins. Andie tells Joey not to worry -- Pacey is "so over" her, and "such the faithful type," and she admits that if she'd stayed faithful herself, maybe they'd "still be together," like, thank you for finally realizing that, Andie, but that horse is so far out of the barn that it's already glue. "Are you feeling all right, Andie?" Pacey asks. She says she feels great, and she and Drue are "gonna go bounce," and she invites them to come, but Pacey tells them to go ahead. Andie and Drue skip off. Joey and Pacey just stand there, stunned and blinking.
More handheld shots to indicate rave-y confusion. Jen searches the crowd for Andie. She finds Jack, who introduces her to the Desktop Dollies he's dancing with, and she asks what became of Andie; when Jack admits that he lost track of her, Jen chastises him and drags him off to help her find Andie. Jack asks what's with her and why she's monitoring Andie. Jen just wants to make sure Andie's all right. "Why wouldn't she be?" Guilty stare. "Let's just find her."
The moon bounce. The giant inflated gorilla head at the top of the moon bounce -- only millimeters larger than Dawson's in circumference -- bobs gently as we pan down to Dawson and Gretchen, uh, bouncing. Dawson "accidentally" sails over and falls on top of Gretchen. Shot of Gretchen cackling way out of proportion to any fun or humor in the situation. Endless, time-bending, eye-melting shot of Dawson leering down at her with his capped teeth and oily fringe of bangs. Just before the director moves in with a hose, Gretchen tells him that "this is a no-parking zone, buddy, move it," and after an eternity, Dawson rolls off of her (yeeeeeeeeecchh) and helps her up.
Andie and Drue enter the moon bounce, and Andie whoops and screeches and shouts that "this is so much fun, it's like a big gang bounce," and while I really didn't need the visual that the word "gang" provided, I have to say, a rolling Andie is a funny Andie. In fact, now that the writers have wisely done away with Bad Andie (tm Domino's) from last season, I kind of like the character, and I wish they'd keep her around and give her something real to do, because she's the only person on the show that ever cracks me up even slightly. Anyway, then there's a rainbow-lighted blipvert, and Andie loses her footing and staggers off to the side, and the others keep jumping, and Dawson smoothes his moist 'n' chewy bangs down behind his ears for the umpteenth time, and there's a pink blipvert, and Dawson asks Andie if she's okay, and Gretchen and Drue shout unintelligibly, and there's an orangey blipvert, and Andie says she has a headache and furrows her brow, and Dawson suggests that she take a break, and she nods vaguely and takes Dawson's hand and calls out for Drue, and Drue says something to her in a slowed-down devil voice, and the blipverts speed up. Jack and Jen approach the moon bounce, and Andie clutches her head and says she doesn't feel so…boom, down she goes in slo-mo like a ton of bricks, knocking Dawson over. Jack rushes into the moon bounce and asks Dawson what happened, and Dawson doesn't know, "she just collapsed," and Drue shoots Jen a guilty look, and Jen stares at Andie all horrified, and Jack begs Andie to "wake up" and "don't do this," and then he kicks it promo-style, screaming, "SOMEBODY HELP US," and we go to ceiling-cam and a series of cross-fade shots of Andie and Jack and Dawson in the moon bounce as the lights flash around them.
Commercials, thank merciful heavens.
Jack carries Andie into the emergency services tent (I know, I know -- just go with it) and tells them what happened. The paramedics ask what she's on. Jack starts to explain about Andie's antidepressant Nardil, but they don't mean medications and they ask again what she's on. Jen murmurs that she took a tab of Ecstasy. "With Nardil?" one of the paramedics asks in an incredulous tone. Andie's temperature is 103 and her blood pressure is 190 over 110 (that's high); they tell Jack and the gang that they need to get Andie to the hospital "like ten minutes ago," and they use a sheet to hoist her up.
Cut to Andie getting loaded into an ambulance on a gurney. One of the paramedics says that anyone who's riding along should get in. "Yeah, that's me," Jack says hoarsely, and as he climbs into the ambulance, Jen begs him to let her come with him. "I think you've done enough for tonight," Jack tells her coldly. Jen says he doesn't understand: "I didn't know she was on her medication, I, I would have been more --" "What does it matter?" Jack bellows. "You gave my sister drugs, Jen! It should be you in this ambulance." He ducks inside, and the paramedics slam the doors behind him. Jen hugs herself and watches the ambulance pull out. The gang looks on silently; Dawson steps forward and asks if Jen needs a ride to the hospital. After nearly a full minute of silent shell-shocked head-shaking, Jen says no, she should probably just go home. "Okay," Dawson says, unable to look at her. "Let's go, guys." The rest of the gang follows him; nobody makes eye contact with Jen. Oh, that's nice. Way to find out what actually happened before passing judgment, guys -- and that goes double for Joey, who didn't exactly cover herself with laurels in the punch-drinking department a couple of weeks ago. Drue remains behind; he strolls up to Jen, but instead of busting on her, he actually shows some sympathy: "How is she?" "Not good," Jen quavers. "Really not good." Drue puts a hand on Jen's back and says he'll take her home.
At the Ryan Home, Jen climbs the steps to the front porch and beats herself up, saying that "all the warning signs were there" when she and Andie talked at the park, but she didn't see them. "She took the stuff, it's not your fault," Drue says wearily, and I have to agree. I also have to say -- and I probably should have said it earlier -- that I don't think Andie as written would mix recreational drugs with her medication. She seems pretty informed about her illness, so it's kind of out of character for her. Yeah, yeah, they've got to write her off of the show somehow, but they could have found a less implausible device, or done some research on -- good lord, what am I even saying? Forget it. Anyhow, Jen blames herself some more, saying that the medication thing is irrelevant, she's still responsible, but Drue argues that "Andie is responsible for her own choices, even her bad ones" and asks why Jen wants to "play…the martyr here." Jen bitches him out; Andie's her friend, "and she's in the hospital right now because of something that she got from me, and you don't think I should feel bad?" Drue rolls his eyes: "You want something to feel bad about? How about the way your quote-unquote friends iced you?" Again, the man's got a point. Jen, the wind knocked out of her, tells him she hates the way he twists everything and makes to go inside, but Drue stops her to remind her that, no matter what Andie says, on Monday morning the gang will make out like it's Jen's fault. "You came here the banished bad seed, Jen, that's all you'll ever be to them," he says, adding that they want her to "play that role" so that they can feel better about themselves. "And I thought I was damaged," Jen grits out. "You are. So am I. And that's why we need each other," Drue says all intensely. "We're coming from the same place here, Jen." Jen says that they came from the same place, "but now we're miles apart, and I intend to keep it that way." Jen grabs the edge of the door, snaps, "Now I'm gonna call my friend and see how she's doing," and slams the door in Drue's face. Drue starts to say something, then just sighs.
The hospital. Jack comes out to the waiting room to report to the gang that Andie's "stable now." He PSAs that she suffered some kind of "hypertensive crisis," and that the older variety of antidepressant that she's on turns into "a time bomb when it's mixed with the wrong thing," so it's lucky things turned out the way they did, "that she didn't, um…God, she coulda died," and Joey gets up to give the weeping Jack a hug. Pacey looks concerned. Gretchen looks sad. Jack recovers to say that the hospital wants to keep Andie overnight, and he's sure she appreciates their staying, but she's probably not in the mood for visitors, so they should just head home and call Andie tomorrow. Gretchen agrees that Andie needs her rest, and so do they. Jack says he'll see them tomorrow and heads back to Andie's room. Gretchen asks Pacey if he's okay. He's not; he "should have known something was wrong," or known "how bad it was." Dawson says -- pretty nicely, considering that it's Dawson -- that even if Pacey had realized, "there's nothing [he] could have done." Joey comes over to comfort Pacey, and Pacey tells her he thinks he'll stay there tonight, "if that's okay" with her. After a split-second hesitation, Joey says, "Completely," then asks if he wants company. They hug, and Dawson looks away uncomfortably as Pacey says no, he'll just call Joey when he gets home. Joey kisses his shoulder, then hands him her jacket to use as a pillow and gives him a smooch on the forehead. Aw. That's kinda cute. Joey, Gretchen, and Dawson move off down the hall. Pacey sits down heavily and kneads Joey's jean jacket in his hands.
Witterschloss porch. "Not exactly the evening I had in mind when I invited you," Gretchen sighs. "I don't think anybody had this evening in mind," Dawson shrugs, "but, uh, I'm glad I went," and he comes to a stop a little too close to her, like he's got a mind to kiss her. "Me too," Gretchen says brightly, working the "don't kiss me" body language with her hands on her hips. Dawson gets the hint and makes to leave, and Gretchen says she'll see him at work, but then she stops him to say that his friendship means a lot to her. We go to close-up, and her straightened hair looks ten times better in this shot, like, let's hear it for Alberto VO5. Gretchen goes on to say that she's had a hard time "coming back here," but Dawson has "made the transition a lot more enjoyable" than she expected. Blech. Get off the sauce, Gretchen. Dawson smiles, "Good. That's what friends are for. Keep smiling…keep shining, knowing you can always count on meeeee…for suuuuuure…that's what friends are fooooooor." Well, except for the singing part. He goes back to the car; Joey's leaning against the fender and looking up at the stars, brow furrowed. "Weird night, huh?" he says. "Yeah," she whispers, then confides that she's not even tired. "How 'bout hungry?" She does the patented half-smile and turns to look at him, and they share a Denny's brain wave and get into the car.
Hospital room. Andie tearfully apologizes to Angry. "I'm not mad, Andie," Angry says. "I just look mad because my eyeballs have decomposed." Okay, he doesn't say that last part. Jack pipes up flatly, "I am." Andie and Angry turn to look at him. Jack, wearily: "You…the three of us, we, um…we need each other. You can't do stupid things like this, Andie, you just can't, I mean, think about what our family's been through already." Andie says through tears that she knows, and it's the stupidest thing she's ever done, but "I wanted to feel something, you know? Anything." Angry strokes her forehead: "It's okay. We'll get through this, as long as we can communicate, you know, as…a family." Andie has to tell them what she's going through, Angry says: "No more secrets." Damn, Angry got downright sensitive over the summer hiatus. I'd have had to change his nickname if he had, you know, lived. Andie says okay. Enter Pacey with "twenty-five-cent coffee from the machine, so don't get your hopes up." Heh -- no kidding. One time I had to take the Biscuit to the ER after he got into a skiing accident, and I made the mistake of getting a coffee while I waited, and another lady who had brought her husband in for dialysis got a coffee at the same time, and we wound up going outside together to have a smoke, and we both tasted our coffee at the same time, and we did a synchronized spit-take because the coffee tasted like ether. I guess you had to be there, but hospital coffee is seriously the most terrifying substance on earth. Anyway, Clan McPhee chuckles politely, and Andie says in a tone of pleased surprise, "You stayed." Pacey didn't have anything better to do, so he thought he'd stay and "bug" Andie. Jack shoots Pacey a strange worried look; Andie whispers, "You're not bugging me," and starts to apologize for what she said to him earlier, but he tells her not to worry about it: "What matters now is that you're okay." He takes her hand. "Thanks," Andie says sadly.
The sun comes up over a dock. An ovary sings about promises as we see Dawson and Joey in silhouette; Dawson says that it doesn't seem right to see such a beautiful sunrise after the night they've just had. Joey talks about the way Andie looked when they put her in the ambulance. Dawson says it's scary how "things can turn so bad so fast," and Joey segues into "it's scary how real everything's been this past year, you know?" and says that between Jen and Pacey getting caught in the storm and Andie nearly OD-ing, she realizes that any of them "could go at any moment, for the stupidest of reasons." Dawson sighs that he can remember when parties "were bowling and birthday cakes," and now they can "actually kill you." Shut up, Dawson. "Another perk of growing up in the new millennium," he adds pompously. Oh, whatever, Greasel Proust. Awkward pause (tm Key Grip). Joey says gawkily that, in less than a year, "we'll all be outta here," and when Dawson murmurs that he knows, she says it's sad that, after eighteen years, "there's gonna be no one rowing our boats anymore." I really hope that Deprogramming University is on Joey's list of preferred colleges. Dawson wouldn't "put the boats in dry-dock" yet. Joey, pleased that he still cares, grinningly asks if he has plans for their boats, and he says that he thinks she should give her boat to Alexander, and he'll give his to his new brother or sister. Joey is agape: "That's why Gale's been so sick lately?" Dawson nods, chuckling. "Congratulations, oh my God," Joey says, hopping down from the railing to give Dawson a hug, and she says that "Capeside wouldn't be Capeside without a little Leery running around." "Or rowing across the creek to get to your house," Dawson grunts. Joey laughs in assent before observing that hearing the news makes her feel…"Old?" Dawson finishes for her. "How'd you know that?" Because he's -- anyone? Anyone want to take this one? Aw, come on, you guys know this one -- HER SOULMATE. Gaaaaahhh. Dawson felt the same way: "Nothing propels you into adulthood faster than the generation nipping at your heels." "Nipping"? Shut up, Dawson. Joey beams at him; Dawson looks away, unnerved. Joey stammers that she's thought about it, and wherever they go , "it's hard to imagine life without [him]." Dawson thinks this over, then observes a little too mildly, "You did pretty well for three months." Yeah, Dawson, she did, so why don't you just act all pissy when she tries to reach out to you? Oh, you've got that covered -- my mistake. Asshole. Joey chooses not to fight him on it, though, saying in a hopeful tone, "You know what I mean." Dawson gives her a long look before ceding, "Yeah. Yeah, I do." He turns to look out to sea, sighing melodramatically. Joey regards him silently and bites her lip. The ovary mangles "Fields Of Gold." Fade to a long shot of Joey and Dawson, sitting in companionable silence.