Props to Miss Alli, and to Sars, who is just plain made of sterner stuff than I.
Previously on Dawson's Creek: Dawson came into the possession of a copy of the PSAT; it subsequently vanished; Andie was revealed (only to the audience) to have taken it and used it to cheat on her test; Dawson asked Pacey to take care of Joey; Pacey, speaking for us all, told Joey and Dawson that their on-again, off-again love affair was giving him a rash; Deputy Doug asked Pacey whether he was stressing over a girl, and Pacey admitted that he was.
Joey "Notticelli" Potter paints a picture on a wall in the school hallway while an ovary warbles on her Walkman™. Pacey "Teen Angel" Witter strolls toward her and leans against a wall; Joey turns to moisten her brush and starts when she sees Pacey. He leans some more and waits for her to take the headphones off her ears, whereupon she snarks that she doesn't recall requesting the pleasure of his company. He grins, motions at the pile of artist's supplies between them, and asks, "Rag?" "Brush," she replies distractedly. He tells her that after Van Gogh cut off his ear, it sparked a rash of copycat mutilations among his students. Joey even more distractedly asks what Pacey is getting at, and he explains that the world reveres an artist, and so does he, and therefore he's here to watch her paint in the hopes that some of her "genius" will rub off on him. The word has really lost its currency if it's being flung around at the likes of Joey. Without turning around, Joey deduces, "You got kicked out of your house again." Pacey says it's not so much that he got kicked out: "It's more like they're filming a Lifetime Original Movie in my living room right now." Joey asks which one of the Witter sisters is in distress this time, and he tells her it's "numero uno," who apparently left her husband and returned to her parents' house, with Pacey's "screaming nieces" in tow. Pushing a scaffold out of the way, Joey further deduces that with the return of his sister, Pacey's been exiled from his bed. Pacey confirms her assessment. Joey stands beside Pacey, regards the wall, and asks what he thinks. The camera cuts to the mural: On a saffron background, it's several Chinese characters of various sizes done in dark brown and slightly-darker-than-the-background yellow. It looks okay to me, if not an especially challenging design; on the other hand, what do I know? Pacey asks, "Oh, is it done?" Somewhere, Miss Alli mutters, "Word." Affronted, Joey growls, "Yes, it's done." Pacey says he "thought Principal Green had commissioned you guys to paint murals exemplifying school spirit and unity." Joey says, "He did." Pacey says, "Well, no offense, but this looks like something you'd find tattoed on Kwai Chang Caine's forehead." As I recall, Kwai Chang Caine didn't have any tattoos on his forehead, but maybe they edited the show for Canadian television. Joey scoffs, "You don't like it." Pacey protests that he didn't say that: "I'm pretty sure the rest of the murals will be a little more traditional." Joey denigrates her colleagues' as-yet-unseen murals by predicting that they'll depict "football players and lighthouses," neither of which says anything about "the high school experience." Pacey tells her that the U.S. is "a very prosaic nation" that likes its public art "about as subtle as Godzilla." From beyond the grave, Robert Mapplethorpe remarks, "Word." Joey replies with the usual art-has-power-to-bring-people-together jazz, and Pacey confirms that she's right, in that a museum is "the thinking man's pick-up joint." Joey turns away to hide a smile, and tells him that the reason she likes him is that he goes "so deep." Pacey smirks, "Thanks." Paula Cole cashes a cheque.
Dawson "All-Brat" Leery smugs down the hall at school and straight at the wall we just saw Joey painting. A tarp is hanging against the wall -- which I would think would pose a hazard to the paint beneath, but whatever -- and is taped down at the sides, so naturally Nosy Parker heads straight for the tape and starts gingerly peeling it back. Joey appears and smacks her hand down to secure the tape, squealing, "No peeking!" Dawson has evidently been expecting "a preview," and when Joey denies him one, Dawson points out that Pacey's already seen it. Joey tells Dawson that "the unveiling is a crucial part to any new work," and that she wants him to have "the complete experience." Oh, ick. Joey asks whether Pacey told Dawson what the mural was like, and Dawson assures her that he didn't, except to say that it was "great." Joey affectionately snorts that Pacey's assessment doesn't mean much, and Dawson tells her that Pacey "knows what he likes." As Joey reminds Dawson that Pacey's "most prized possession is a black velvet painting of the baby Elvis," Dawson once again goes for the tape, forcing Joey once again to smack his hand away. Dawson asks her how her speech is coming. By way of an answer, she complains that she shouldn't have to say anything, and that her art should speak for itself. Dawson priggishly says that when the PTA lets a student paint a wall in a public school, it entitles said PTA to a "poignant ceremony in return." Joey tentatively asks whether Dawson will be there, and he enthusiastically replies that he will, and adds, "If you want me to." Joey shyly confirms that she does, and insists that, when he sees it, he be honest with her about what he thinks of it, "even if [he] hate[s] it." Dawson sort of defensively asks what would make her think he'd hate it, and she quickly replies, "Nothing. It's just...." "The stepping out from behind the curtain?" Dawson asks. She nods. He pompously tells her he knows how terrifying that can be, blah blah blah premierecakes. Joey tells him that it's more than that -- it's like she's "declaring [her]self for the first time" -- and that it will be like all her classmates are "looking right into [her] soul." Please -- what can she possibly think about high school that every single other kid in history already hasn't? Dawson has no response to that. Because he's an idiot.
In the library, Andie "Little Punisher" McPhee presides over a disciplinary hearing; the defendant is last week's party-thrower Matt Caufield, and I'd just like to say that if they wanted to resurrect the character of Chris "Teen" Wolfe, they should have just waited for Jason Behr to have a day off from Roswell and bring him back, because it's not like the viewer doesn't notice that the two characters are identical. ["Well, except for the fact that Caufield is old enough to be Teen Wolfe's father." -- Sars] Anyway, Matt protests that he used his cell phone to call his mom and ask her the answer to a question on a quiz he was taking as "a joke" at which even his teacher laughed. Andie primly informs him that there's nothing funny about cheating and sentences him to a failing grade on the quiz and a three-hour detention, which actually sounds pretty fair to me. Matt sarcastically suggests that she "bust [his] kneecaps while [she's] at it," and Principatundé tells him to shut up, and opines that while Matt's behaviour violated the letter of the honour code, it doesn't violate the spirit of same, and that Matt is free to go, but that this better be the last time Matt shows up before the disciplinary committee. A bunch of guys, presumably Matt's henchmen, get up and leave with him. They're allowed to spectate a disciplinary hearing? Whatever. Andie looks distressed that her ruling was overturned.
Sometime later, Andie is getting her books together when Principatundé, talking to another guy, calls to her to wait. When he comes over, she starts apologizing about her behaviour in sentencing Matt, and he stops her and says that's not why he wanted to talk to her. Rather, he wanted to tell her that this morning the Educational Testing Service called to tell him that Andie's "phenomenal" PSAT scores place her among the top 50,000 scorers in the country. Am I the only one who doesn't think that's so impressive? Among the top 100 in the country -- that would be something. Anyway, he goes on to tell her that she's taken one step closer to a National Merit Scholarship, and isn't that fantastic? She haltingly repeats, "Fantastic," and he asks her what's wrong. She mumbles something, and finally admits she's stunned. He warmly congratulates her, and then leaves her to stew in her own guilty juices.
A buzzer sounds as Pacey, carrying a duffel bag and a tinfoil-covered casserole dish, walks into the quite lovely red-painted foyer of a tony apartment building and up to the French doors of the abode of...Deputy Doug, who opens the door and immediately tries to close it again (though Pacey sticks his foot in too quickly), yelling, "No! No! No! Look, Pacey, last time you were here, you left water rings on my Deco coffee table." Pacey winningly tells Deputy Doug that their parents just wanted Pacey to bring Deputy Doug something; he proffers the casserole, and then, pushing his way past Deputy Doug, says, "Me!" It seems that Pacey's parents -- who, as we already know, suck -- have sent Pacey to live with Deputy Doug as long as Pacey's sister is at the house. Deputy Doug grouses, "This is not Party of Five," which is both true and a shame because if Dawson's Creek were Party of Five, it would be ENDING SOON. Anyway, Deputy Doug argues some more, but eventually relents on the condition that they not eat anything their mother sends over, that Pacey always use coasters, and that Pacey keep the CD collection in alphabetical order. Pacey remarks that he doesn't foresee partaking of Deputy Doug's "diva collection," and Deputy Doug notes that the stylings of an "impassioned female voice" could do wonders for Pacey's wounded heart. Pacey tells Deputy Doug that if he's referring to their recent jailhouse conversation, Deputy Doug should chalk up anything Pacey said to "drunken ramblings." This reminds Deputy Doug to add that there will be neither drinking nor teenaged moping while Pacey is rooming with him, and to ask, "Are you any good at découpage?" Pacey stares at the table and mutters, "Oh, God help me." I, for one, am looking forward to seeing more of these two together. They make a very effective comic team.
Several establishing shots later, we end up at the PB&B, where Joey is asking, in a horrified voice, "You're not planning on taking pictures?" Bodie (yay!) tells her that it's Bessie's job to make a big, embarrassing scene since Joey's done something so special. Joey thanks Bessie for coming, since she knows that high school wasn't Bessie's favourite time, and Bessie replies that she's old, and things are different now. "Not that different," Bodie notes. "What are there, like, ten black kids in that school?" HA! "Eleven," Joey replies, and needles Bessie some more about her miserable high school years, and Bessie says that that's exactly why she's so glad that things are different for Joey: "You're talented. Everybody at that school knows it, they've known it for years, and today, they're going to see proof-positive that Joey Potter is a force to be reckoned with." Joey smiles shyly. Go, Bessie!
After a shot of the school exterior, we're treated to a mural of...a lighthouse. Heh. Some blonde chick is in the process of saying that she painted the picture she did to remind all Capeside High students of the "beacon of knowledge" their teachers shine on them every day. Cut to the assembled crowd of students, looking disgusted. Heh! A smattering of applause follows as Bessie rolls her eyes. Principatundé calls on Joey to say a few words about her mural. As the camera pans across the crowd, we get shots of both Dawson and Pacey looking proud. Joey explains that Principatundé had instructed her to focus on what unites everyone at Capeside, "as a school," and that when she thought about it, she realized that there wasn't anything that unites them. Even their mascot, the Minuteman, alienates half the school's population. The crowd chuckles appreciatively at her wee joke. She goes on to say that when she thought about it, she realized that the only thing that does unite them all is they all start out in kindergarten thinking that they can be anything they want, but that over time, they become disillusioned and lose that feeling. Only she takes a much longer time than I just did to say so. She winds up by saying that the symbol on her painting means "Possibility," and that she painted it to remind them all that if they believe in themselves against all odds, anything is possible. Then, because she's Joey, she shrugs and half-smiles, and breathes, "So I hope you like it." Dawson nods sagely. Wing Chun retches. Principatundé pulls a rope, and a blue velvet curtain falls to reveal that, in the time since we saw it last, someone has defaced Joey's mural by painting broad, angry black slashes all over it. The crowd gasps. Joey's face falls. The camera cuts to the crowd, where everyone is shocked. Joey takes off, and Pacey, Dawson, and Bodie and Bessie watch her go, looking worried. Dude, that sucks. On the other hand, she just copied the symbol out of a book, so how hard can it be to copy it again?
Please don't invite me to join in any Reindeer Games.
Joey storms across the totally snow-free lawn of Capeside High, wearing no coat and with her shirt wide open at the neck. On Cape Cod. In February. Dawson trails behind her, telling her to wait up, but she ignores his pleas and instead angrily says, "That's what I get for answering the call of public service -- public humiliation." Dawson tells her that no one was humiliated except the person who defaced her mural for her. Joey tells him that "it felt humiliating" to her. Dawson snaps, with some completely inappropriate exasperation, "It was just a silly prank!" Joey spits, "You don't know that!" By now Pacey has caught up with them, in time to hear Dawson condescendingly say, "You put your heart and soul into that [mural], and I don't blame you at all for being angry [well, isn't that big of him!], but don't turn this into some sort of personal attack on you." Joey, I'm reminded of a line from Walking and Talking: "[snort] That's your best friend?" Pacey says, "Not to stick my nose in here, but just to stick my nose in, of course it was a personal attack." Dawson squeals, "What?" and Joey looks horrified to have her hazy and heretofore remote suspicions confirmed. Pacey points out that there were three murals in that hallway, and that Joey's was the only one touched, so either someone doesn't like what Joey was trying to say, or someone doesn't like Joey. Dawson says that Pacey's logic is flawed, and Pacey goes into an overlong disquisition on the high school caste system, leading to the conclusion that Joey may have crossed a subtle line without knowing it. Dawson snorts, "Paranoid, much?"
Pacey asks rhetorically, "You don't think there's a possibility that there's somebody out there who hates Joey just for being Joey -- who hates the way she talks, the way she dresses, the way she chews on her lower lip --" I, for one, know that Pacey's right, because those people all live on the forums. Joey protests, "I don't chew on my lower lip!" because that's the most important issue under discussion, and Pacey remembers himself and asks her if anyone comes to mind who might fit the bill. Joey yells, "Why, so we can all gang up on him and call him dirty names? Do me a favour -- just stay out of this." Dawson backs her up by yelling (oh, so now he's agitated? James -- pick a mood and stick with it) at Pacey that it was an act of vandalism, nothing more. Pacey says that explanation doesn't make any sense, and Joey yells at them both, essentially, that they're crappy friends who aren't helping in the least to make her feel better, and storms off some more. Pacey asks whether he and Dawson shouldn't follow her, and Dawson wearily tells Pacey to let her go. I HATE YOU, DAWSON!
At McPhee Manor, Andie is making dinner and asking Jack "Squat" McPhee whether he's heard any word of Joey since The Stormening. He says that she's "pretty broken up," and I'm wondering how he'd know that since he and Joey haven't been friends in nearly a year. Andie says, "Who wouldn't be?" and Jack says that when they catch the perpetrator, Andie will have "the last laugh." She doesn't know what he means, at first, and when he reminds her about the disciplinary committee, she tells him she's thinking about resigning her position. He reminds her that her serving on the committee will look very attractive on her college applications, and she tells him that she knows, but that it's taking up too much of her time, and her schoolwork is "starting to slip," and finally that the more she thinks about it, the less comfortable she feels "sitting in judgment of others." It's about damn time, woman. Jack doesn't say anything for a minute, and she exasperatedly asks, "What?" He tells her that he's shocked, since it's not like her to "bail on a commitment." She enigmatically says that "a lot of things aren't like" her, but that she's done them anyway. She asks him to set the table, and then turns her back on him in order to look guilty without his seeing.
At the PB&B, a male hand rings the bell in the foyer, and the camera pans up to reveal that the hand belongs to Dawson. Before anyone comes out to invite him in, he barges right into the kitchen, where Joey is clearing away dinner dishes and looking rather cute in track pants and a football shirt. Dawson makes a "room at the inn" joke which falls completely flat and Joey warns him not to lecture her. He promises he won't lecture her (which promise I would, were I Joey, get in writing and notarize before I allowed Dawson to continue), and kindly tells her that he's sorry that "what happened today happened." She tells him that "the whole thing was tragically lame to begin with -- I mean, as if painting on a wall is going to make any change or the slightest bit of difference in school." Dawson says, "Maybe. Maybe not." She looks at him suspiciously and tells him that she doesn't like the sound of those "maybe"s. Confidently, he announces his solution: "Repaint the mural." She sneers, "What?" and he tells her to "do it tonight. Surprise that bastard when he shows up tomorrow morning." Joey rather unequivocally tells Dawson that she'd "rather shove red-hot needles under [her] toenails," but Dawson is undeterred and tries shaming her into going along with his plan: "So you're going to let some stupid high school prank keep you from finishing something that you obviously care about?" Joey points out that she did finish it, and that it's not her fault that nobody else got a chance to see it. Dawson squeaks that he can't believe that she's being like this: "Defeated. Dejected. Demoralized." Joey tells him that she can't always be his "plucky little Joey Potter" (read: This little camper has no intention of bucking up), and that she's entitled to be depressed from time to time.
Dawson delivers the astounding insight that "it's not about demeanour; it's about not being a victim," which is evidently really easy for him to say. Joey leans over the counter and hisses, "It took me a month to do that, Dawson. [A month? Ooookay.] I had to conceive it, and I had to execute it, and you can't just expect me to start over." Not surprisingly, this description of the painstaking artistic process through which Joey went to create the mural has no effect on Dawson, with whose quickie movies we are all, unfortunately, too familiar, and he glibly answers, "Why not?" Joey says, "For the same reason that you haven't shot a roll of film since January." Check, and mate. Dawson claims that his case is completely different, in that he chose to quit filmmaking. Joey needles, "It had nothing to do with the fact that the film was poorly received at the festival?" Dawson claims that it didn't, and Joey drawls, "Well then, how convenient for you." Immediately she's knocked back against the far wall by the flaring of Dawson's nostrils as he asks what she means. Joey says that Dawson has the luxury of making choices without much consideration, and that he takes that luxury for granted, whereas she can't afford the time to -- wait for it -- find herself and chase her pipe dreams. Dawson's nostrils flare some more, and he tells her he thinks "this" is about her being relieved that someone painted over her mural, because it saved her from going through "the hard part" of showing her work to the world and exposing it to public judgment. She wanly shakes her head, but doesn't answer, and he tells her that the reason he came over was to give her the keys to the school (which he got, he says, from Principatundé and not, say, HIS DAD). He leaves them on the kitchen counter, and portentously says, "Do what you want," before turning on his pompous heel and taking off. Joey stares at the keys for a moment, then turns back to the sink, making her stroke-victim face.
At school the day, lunch is being served in the cafeteria. Pacey strolls up behind a couple of jock-looking guys, makes a predictable joke about the quality of the food (which they receive warmly, which is odd because I thought Pacey was a pariah at Capeside and that the gang were his only friends...but anyway). He smoothly segues to a post-mortem on the unveiling of Joey's ruined mural. The jock on the left opines that the look on Joey's face was "classic," and Pacey swallows his pride, lets that one slide, and tells them that he's running a pool as to who the culprit is. Both jocks pay up and tell Pacey that it "had to be Caufield," and that "there's no other possibility." See what the guy did there? He said "possibility," because that's what Joey's mural was called. The jocks laugh it up, as jocks are wont to do. Just then Pacey sees Matt striding in, and he goes over to his table and tries to Columbo him into admitting that he painted over Joey's mural. Matt evidently shares the jock's feeling that the whole event was "pretty classic," but claims not to be able to "take credit for it," although he thinks that since everyone thinks he did it, anyway, the polite thing may be for him to go along with the majority opinion, and "say 'thank you.'" Pacey tells Matt that "not everybody thinks what [he] did was funny," and Matt tries as hard as he can to be threatening as he tells Pacey that some people don't have a sense of humour, and maybe that's Pacey's problem. Pacey agrees that he's "humourless." Matt's henchmen lean forward in some sad burlesque of menace. Matt asks Pacey what he wants, and Pacey tells him that he wants Matt to apologize, and to turn himself in, and that he had better to do both before the day is out. Matt asks why he should, and Pacey replies, "This time, you just happened to mess with somebody I care about." Matt and the Henchmen squint as Pacey leaves. Okay, I always thought Chris "Teen" Wolfe was pretty wussy as high-school villains go, but he's like John freaking Gotti compared to Matt Caufield. I'm sorry, but I just can't be that intimidated by a kid who looks like Andy Kaufman's yearbook picture.
Students walk up the stairs past the unmolested lighthouse mural, and Dawson strides purposefully toward Joey's taped-over mural, peels away the tarp, and sighs with disappointment at the sight that she evidently did not reproduce a month's work overnight. As Andie hurries past, Dawson asks her whether she's seen Joey, and Andie tells him Joey wasn't in homeroom. He sighs again, and walks away.
Matt pulls into a parking lot in his evil black Durango. Pacey stalks toward him, talks some mild shit about Matt's truck, and then when Matt -- who, like all bullies, is not so tough without his Henchmen -- tries to walk away, shoves him up against the truck and muscles him into an admission of guilt and a promise to apologize. Pacey lets him go; Matt adjusts his coat and takes two steps, then turns back and punches Pacey. They fight, and Pacey pretty quickly has the advantage, ending up by straddling Matt and pounding the shit out of his face. Principatundé happens to roll into the parking lot just then and breaks it up.
Principatundé stomps out of his office. Over his shoulder, we can see Pacey and Matt sitting in front of his desk, looking sullen. Principatundé orders a random office peon to get him Dawson and someone named David Curran. He turns and starts to head back into his office, but Andie cuts him off at the pass and asks to speak with him. He puts her off, saying he's in the middle of something, but she insists that it's very important, and tells him she wants to quit the disciplinary committee. When he reacts with some confusion, she starts to tell him that she thinks he has an incorrect notion of her "unwavering integrity." He asks if they can talk about this at further length later, and she says there's nothing more for them to discuss, and books. Principatundé goes back into his office and closes the door.
Within, Dawson and this David person (a Henchman, I believe) have appeared to bear witness about the disagreement between Matt and Pacey, since neither Matt nor Pacey has elected to speak in his own defense. Principatundé turns to Dawson first, but Pacey warns him not to say anything. Principatundé says, "Mr. Curran?" and Matt tells him the same. Principatundé tells them all that someone had better say something soon, and, turning to Matt, threatens to call the dean at Dartmouth and thus jeopardize Matt's early-admission status. To Pacey, he notes that if Pacey gets one more suspension on his record, he'll have to forget any hopes he might have of higher education. Dawson's nostrils flare in concern. No one says anything, so Principatundé says, "I have no other alternative --" at which Dawson announces, "It's because of the mural." Pacey yells that this isn't Dawson's fight, and Dawson quietly replies, "It's not yours either." Principatundé correctly interprets Dawson's brief remarks, and reconstructs the events leading to Matt's bleeding nose. Matt says, "I went nowhere near [Joey's mural]. As if I could give a rat's ass about some stupid Chinese drawing." Oh, please. This is Capeside's criminal mastermind? Matlock could have broken this idiot half an hour ago, but since he's in Georgia, Dawson asks, "If you didn't go anywhere near it, how did you know what it was?" Matt's face screams, "And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids," and Principatundé notes that Dawson's is a very good question. Matt says that Joey'd been working on the mural for weeks, and anyone could have seen it. Dawson says that Joey had been working on it at night and before school, "but other than that it's been sealed up tight as a drum." Because that's good for wet paint. Dawson then alleges that he's one of Joey's closest friends, and that even given his favoured-nation status, he didn't know what the mural looked like.
Matt says that the inquisition is ridiculous, and Dawson goes full-on Miss Marple and asks why, if Matt really didn't give a rat's ass, he would go to the trouble of finding out what the mural depicted. Matt has no response to that. Pacey says, "Check the floor, Caufield. I think you just painted yourself into a corner." Matt finally realizes that it's over, sarcastically confesses and admits that he's "busted," but defends his actions by saying that Joey's mural was an eyesore. He adds, "Why do I have to look at some trivial girl's little message to the masses every morning? Frankly, it offends me." Principatundé asks, "Possibility is offensive to you?" The camera cuts to Dawson, who scoffs (and the closed caption even reads "[SCOFF]"). Matt says, "I'm white. I'm rich. That's all the possibility I need." Oh, COME ON. Even Pat Buchanan wouldn't say something that stupid. Principatundé sadly shakes his head.
At McPhee Manor, Jack and Andie are eating dinner (again). Jack says, "Say again?" and Andie replies, "You heard me," so of course we know she's just confessed to him about the theft of the PSAT, but just in case we didn't get that, she goes on to say it on-screen so we can actually hear her. Apparently she scored within the ninety-eighth percentile. Okay, that's pretty good. Anyway, Jack can't believe she was the one who stole it, and she confirms again that it's true. Jack asks why she would do it, since she already knew the test material "backwards and forwards" and hence had no need to cheat. She says that it was like forbidden fruit -- irresistible -- and that the prospect of there being no possibility of getting caught made it even more enticing; it seemed like the solution to all her problems, at the time. Jack asks what she means, and she says that she felt as though, if she aced the test, everyone would think she was okay again. Now that she really is "okay" again, she's "having a hard time living with" herself. Jack correctly divines that that's the reason she resigned from the disciplinary committee. Yes. WE GET IT. She says that for the past six months she's been feeling like a hypocrite, and that she's been hard on Capeside offenders as a way of punishing herself. HOW is that a punishment for herself? Whatever, she says that she's finally going to make amends by confessing to Principatundé. Jack tries to talk her out of it by saying that she shouldn't get herself "kicked out of school over something that has the word 'practice' in front of it." She says that she wants to be free of it, once and for all. Jack says there has to be a better way, and Andie says that she's thought about it, and that there's no better way, for her. Jack fails to add the obvious coda to this scene, which would be, "Thanks a lot for showing me the test, jerk-ass."
Pacey reclines on Deputy Doug's couch with a steak over his right eye. Deputy Doug promptly materializes to confiscate the steak, and to open the door at the sound of the buzzer; Joey is on the other side. Pacey, whose back is to the door, complains, "Doug, I'm a soldier here, returning from the killing fields. Where's my Purple Heart, my ticker-tape parade?" Joey snaps, "Watch it on your black-and-white. You know, the one with the coat hanger as an antenna, at the Chevron station where you'll probably be pumping gas for the rest of your natural-born life, Pacey. Of all the boneheaded moves...." Pacey protests her assessment, noting that he was right -- that Matt Caufield did ruin her mural. Joey asks how that lets Pacey off the hook. Pacey says that Matt deserves whatever he gets -- "preferably, his silver spoon shoved up his ass." Joey sarcastically tells him that's funny, and Pacey complains that even when he tries to do the right thing, he still can't win. Joey tells Pacey that he overreacted, adding, "If you're going to throw away your future, just do it on your own account, okay?"
She turns to leave, and Pacey says, "Don't get me wrong; don't think I ever cared, here. I was only doing Dawson a favour." Joey doesn't know what he means, and Pacey says that looking out for Joey was the favour he was doing: "Think back with me. Way back. You know, like the beginning of the school year? Dawson Leery returns from the big city a changed man, determined to sever ties with girl across the creek, so he asks Trusted Friend to look after said girl during the delicate transitional period. Trusted Friend? Of course he obliges, and now Trusted Friend gets his head handed to him on a platter." Joey looks appalled, and clarifies, "So you guys just traded me off like some sort of baseball card? Is that what this is about?" Pacey asks, "What?" Joey says, "Us. You and me. I thought that --" Pacey asks, "You thought what?" Joey shrugs, and says, "I guess I thought something else, Pacey." The Acoustic Guitar of Emotional Deception twangs in the background as Joey leaves, and Pacey looks dismayed at his own monumental stupidity.
Matt is, once again, sitting before the disciplinary committee. Principatundé is telling saying that Matt has "consistently flaunted [Principatundé's] authority," when I think what he means to say is "flouted." Matt's also interfered with the teachers' ability to teach, and now has challenged Principatundé's commitment to reshape the school into a community. Matt says, "It was only a mural," and Principatundé passionately asserts that "it was so much more than 'just a mural.'" Hey, I'm as sad as the guy that Joey's work was ruined, but it really wasn't that much more than a mural. Principatundé tells Matt that he knows exactly who he is: Because Matt has been privileged, he believes himself entitled to break the rules and generally to be a bad, bad little Andy Kaufman. Matt looks unimpressed until Principatundé sentences him to a screening of Man on the Moon, and expulsion. Except for the Man on the Moon part. Matt repeats, "Expelled?" and Principatundé confirms that's what he said. Matt asks, "For the rest of the year?" and Principatundé confirms that too. Matt asks whether Principatundé has any idea what Matt's father's going to say about this. Fearlessly, Principatundé says he has a very good idea what Matt's father will say. Oooooh!
Dawson lurks outside the library, cagily watching the proceedings inside. Joey comes down the hall and asks Dawson what's happening. Dawson says it's hard to tell. Joey peers inside and observes that there's no sign of "birch cane or knuckle rapping." Dawson says that Pacey will be lucky if he gets off without another suspension. Joey says, "The way things are going, you should have just asked me to look out for him." Dawson's nostrils flare a double take, and he asks, "Excuse me?" Joey tells him that she knows "all about the little wife-swapping arrangement." Dawson goes all Bunim-Murray and asks, "Wife-swapping?" and says that's not how it was, and she knows it. She asks how it was different. Dawson says that it was months ago, and that things were very different between himself and Joey then. She agrees: "Back then I felt like you still understood me," whereas now she doesn't, and she never asked for his pity. Dawson claims that it wasn't about pity; but that he wanted someone to be there for her if he couldn't be there himself, and where's the harm in that? Joey says it would have been nice if the "someone" Dawson nominated could have mustered a shred of genuine concern for her. Dawson points out that that same "someone" is in the library right now possibly facing expulsion himself because he has a lot more than a shred of concern. Joey scoffs, and Dawson rolls his head back in frustration, flaps his arms, and asks why she's "doing this." She asks what he thinks she's doing, and he says that she's casting aspersions on people who care about her. She scoffs at that too, and Dawson demands, "You really think that I don't want the best for you?" He adds that whatever else Pacey may be -- stubborn, impulsive, the usual diamond-in-the-rough laundry list -- she can't possibly doubt that he cares about her. This gives Joey pause, and she looks away, thinking hard, I guess.
Andie empties out her locker. For some reason, it contains a pair of fuzzy red dice and a pencil cup. Who keeps a pencil cup in her locker? Anyway, she closes the door and trundles down the hall with her knapsack in hand, and her box of belongings under her arm.
The library door opens and Dawson leaps to his feet and walks over to Pacey, who says that Principatundé is a great human being, blah blah blah mercycakes. Principatundé didn't suspend Pacey; instead, he's assigned Pacey to the Capeside Mentoring Program. Oh yeah, I like this idea. Dawson chuckles at the incongruity, and at the fate of the poor child to whom Pacey is assigned. Then he asks whether Pacey intends to teach his mentee the importance of keeping a secret, "like, say, from Joey? For example." Pacey drawls, "Oh, thaaaaat," and asks what the odds are that Dawson will be as forgiving a person as Principatundé just was. Dawson says those odds aren't good, and he has a right to be snooty since he's never done anything wrong. Not.
Principatundé reads a letter, then sets it down and announces, "To say that I am profoundly shocked and disturbed by what you did would be an understatement." Cut to Andie, choking back tears and nodding in agreement that she sucks. She says she wishes she had told him sooner. Principatundé stands and tells her that he'll have to inform the ETS, which will then cancel her scores, destroying any chance she had at a National Merit Scholarship. Andie knows that too. Principatundé says that she'd mentioned other students who were aware of the pilfered test, but that she was the only one who used it; he asks if she's certain of that, and she says that she is. He asks what she expects him to do, and she says that she expects him to expel her, as he did Matt Caufield, since her offense was no less grave than Matt's, and that she's already cleared out her locker, since she knows that all actions have consequences. She concludes by saying that she's sorry for letting him down. Principatundé says that Andie and Matt Caufield have nothing in common, and that is most assuredly not true -- they both cheated on tests, for one thing. Anyway, Principatundé's take is that Matt ha no sense of right or wrong, and takes pleasure in hurting others; the only person Andie hurt was herself. The glycerin flows down Meredith Monroe's cheeks as Andie croaks, "But I did cheat!" Principatundé says that when she was on the disciplinary committee, one of the things he tried to teach her was proportionality -- how to make the punishment fit the crime, while looking at the character of the criminal. Matt Caufield, Principatundé explains, wouldn't benefit from leniency, but Andie will. Andie cries some more. Principatundé tells her to put her things back in her locker, and that he'll have to think about her punishment for a couple more days. She nods gratefully and thanks him.
Outside, school has let out, and within, Joey's in her paintin' overalls, with a kerchief on her head and painting tools in both hands. As she walks toward the site of her mural, she stops, and the camera cuts to Pacey, up on the scaffold, busily painting primer over the ex-mural. She smirks, and happily asks what he's doing. AS IF THAT WEREN'T OBVIOUS. Pacey says he thought it would be good if she could start with a blank canvas. She asks who told him she was planning on repainting the mural. He says it was "some guy" he met on the street -- some "do-gooder." She nods.
Pacey asks her whether she'd planned to thank him. She asks for what, and he says, "Defending your honour, bucking the system --" "Tilting at windmills while in the throes of a misguided hero complex?" she finishes. He blinks, and then grins, "Well, yeah, that too." She smiles back, and says that if she were going to thank him for anything, it would be for being himself, and for not caring what anyone else thinks, and for knowing in his heart what's right and wrong, and for being there for her this year, when she needed him most. He looks surprised, and says she's welcome, and, handing her a paint can, asks if she wants any help. She says she does, on one condition: "Be honest. The only reason you've been hanging out with me is simply because Dawson told you to?" Pacey, already working his roller (his PAINT roller!), says, "Yep, that's the only reason." Joey says, "You need to get a life." He chuckles. She smiles at him. They both vigorously continue painting over the former mural. At the other end of the hall, a door opens and Dawson emerges. He glances up the hall and spies the two likebirds, and then NODS smugly as if to say, "Yes, I grant leave for these two young people to be happy in spite of me." Because, you know, that means he won't set up all his usual roadblocks and make people fight with him over his little passive-aggressive digs. Or at least, so we're meant to think. I believe he'll be as obnoxious as always.