Props to Liz, Kim, owen, Pamie, and Sars.
Previously on Dawson's Creek, Joey didn't want to kiss Pacey for Dawson's crappy movie; Jen wanted to try life on her own; the Flash told his Bride that they'd never tried "swinging or spouse-swapping [YET]," and asked whether those wouldn't be more in line with her "recreational tastes," causing her to ask when he was going to stop punishing her, and him to put on his Clark Kent glasses and reply, "When it stops hurting"; Dawson told Pacey there was a difference between friendship and love, and that Joey was one thing and Jen another.
Fade up on the Bran Boudoir, where Dawson "Dead Wood" Leery is telling Joey "Spine and Dandy" Potter that in the two weeks since he and Jen broke up, Jen has made no effort to get together with him, and asking if Joey thinks that's odd, because it seems odd to him. Joey reminds him that Jen is the one who broke up with him. Dawson is aware, but says that there's "a certain way to handle these things," and he thought Jen would hold herself to "that standard." I'm wondering on what Dawson is basing this theory, given that Jen is the first girlfriend he has ever had. Joey chuckles and points out that Dawson sounds not like someone who's disappointed in Jen's "break-up etiquette," but someone who's having a hard time accepting the fact that it's over. Dawson crumples theatrically with a muffled near-sob and falls on the bed beside Joey. She leans over him and tells him that he has to adjust to the reality of life after Jen. Dawson mutters, "Something tells me Joey has a theory." Uh, considering she's about the only person in town who'll still tolerate your whiny ass, you might think twice about patronizing Joey, there, Product 19. Joey does; she says there are three main areas to focus on. The first is public perception: "From now until the end of the semester, you'll be known as the guy Jen dropped. Most girls will view you as tainted goods, and of course there'll be the few who feel incredibly sorry for you and offer this certain kind of sympathy. My advice: avoid them." My guess is that those girls are in the special ed class. The second front Dawson needs to work on is other guys: "You have to be prepared for the possibility that Jen will begin dating again. Seeing her around school with her new boyfriend, watching her from this very window as she pauses coyly by her garden gate and accepts a goodnight kiss from a guy you feel physically and intellectually superior to in every way and you can't possibly --" Dawson cuts off this description (clearly much informed by Joey's own experience of watching Dawson and Jen) to ask what the third thing is. Joey says, "You and Jen....The inevitable conversation which, frankly, I'm surprised you haven't had yet. You know, she'll ask you if you think the two of you can be friends again -- because she'd really like that, if you could -- and you say...?" He says nothing, so she prompts him again, but he says he doesn't know: "I want to be her friend, but then again, I don't! I mean, how can you simply be friends with someone when every time you look at them [sic], all you think about is how much more you really want?" Joey smirks ruefully and says she's no expert, but she thinks it can be done. He says nothing. She gazes at him soulfully. Bah.
Open up your morning light, and say a little prayer for me.
David Arquette needs to dial down his dosage before he starts dialing any phones. You know it and I know it.
At the No-Fault Hacienda, the Flash answers the phone, at the other end of which is a caller for the Bride of Flash. She speaks very curtly, and then tells the caller they should probably discuss this at the office. The Flash looks up suspiciously as soon as she utters the word "office," but has looked back down at his newspaper by the time she hangs up. Casually, the Flash asks if that was Calvin, and before she can answer says he wishes he'd known, because he hasn't talked to Calvin in a long time. Evasively, the Bride of Flash says it wasn't Calvin. The Flash breezily comments that the voice sounded familiar, and finally just asks who it was. The Bride of Flash makes a face like her nylons are a size too small and then does this weird bouncing walk like the Flash is a two-year-old and she's trying to sneak up on him for a game of peekaboo, and with a too-bright expression that clearly communicates that she's bracing for a fight, she says, "It was work-related. It isn't what you think it was." The Flash snaps his paper and says, "He has the nerve to call here?" The Bride of Flash says he had a simple question, but the Flash is having none of it, and blusters, "You tell Bob that the time he calls here -- the time he interrupts my breakfast to call my wife -- the only 'simple question' he'll need an answer for is, 'Do you have health insurance?'" Ooh, butch! The Bride of Flash, in her nine-inch skirt, tells the Flash he has no reason to be angry with Bob, which only sets him off on a rant about there being no better way to start the day than by listening to his wife's protestations of innocence on behalf of her former lover. He winds up by saying that he is angry, "It just doesn't happen to be at Bob," and stomps out in a fit of very butch pique.
With every strand of hair marcelled in place, Dawson strides purposefully down the hall at Capeside High and runs into an oddly neckless Jen "and Applesauce" Lindley, who manages to stammer, "How're you doing?" Trying his best to look busy and vital, he says he's doing great, quickly asks how she is, and tries to hurry on his way without any further intercourse. She stops him and says that sometimes, after a break-up, there's that awkward period where the conversation dwindles into small talk. Throughout all this, Dawson looks like he's just done about a pound of crystal meth, because his eyes are flicking back and forth as if independent of the rest of his face. Dawson asks what she's saying. Predictably enough, she wants to know if there's any way they can still be friends. Dawson and his lantern jaw sputter inarticulately.
In some kind of science classroom, Dawson seeks the counsel of Pacey "Marc Anthony...No, Not That One" Witter, telling him that he told Jen he had to think about it. Pacey tells Dawson that they both know Dawson doesn't want to be friends with Jen, but that she can't know that, so Dawson has to pretend that he's no longer romantically interested in her, if he wants to get Jen back. Dawson asks, "How do I do that?" Some random brunette hears her cue and materializes in front of Pacey's and Dawson's desk, saying hi to Dawson (who greets her as "Mary Beth") and remarking that they get their midterms back today. Dawson dismissively mutters, "Can't wait," and she takes off. Pacey beams at her, doing the slow "awww yeah" nod. Dawson chews his lips while Pacey continues his dissertation on Dawson's need to feign a lack of interest in Jen, and says that this is only the first of a "two-pronged attack" to getting Jen to be Dawson's girlfriend again. Dawson asks what the second prong is, but just in time class starts. The teacher hands back the tests and says that most of the students did "quite well," with the exception of Pacey, whom he names. What the hell is with the teachers in this school? If they're not screwing poor Pacey, they're screwing him over. Pacey looks dismayed. Dawson smirks, because he's a jerk.
After class, Pacey regards the 32% he got on his midterm while the teacher tells him that he knows Pacey is bright. He even checked out Pacey's most recent "standardized test" score (wouldn't a real teacher identify what that test was?), which revealed that Pacey has an aptitude for science, so that if he isn't doing well in class, it's his own fault. Blah blah blah instead of the midterm exam blah blah complete an extra credit project blah blah since the class is marine biology, it's appropriate to conclude on this note: fishcakes. Pacey is delighted to be offered this alternative. Dr. Rand (for that is the teacher's name) tells Pacey to wait for a student from another one of his classes. Pacey says, "Another rocket scientist like me, I presume?" But no, it's Joey. D'oh! Pacey and Joey express mutual disappointment.
Dawson finds Jen at her locker and tells her he'd love to be her friend; he offers to prove it to her by having a friendly conversation. Apparently in Dawson's world "friendly" means "banal," because they proceed to exchange bland pleasantries until Dawson asks Jen whether she has plans for the weekend. She pulls up short, and starts yammering on that Dawson's friendship means a lot to her, but this may not work. He cheerfully tells her he can take it. She tells him she has a date with Cliff to go to the carnival this weekend. Oh, mercy. After a beat, Dawson feigns cheer and blusters, "Is that what you didn't want to tell me?" and tells her he's relieved because he also has a date this weekend, and that he and his date are also going to the carnival. Jen offers to go somewhere different with Cliff. Dawson suggests that they regard such "coincidences" as "opportunities" -- say, for a double date. Jen looks like she just ate some bad shrimp cocktail, says that the notion of double dating with Dawson is unexpected, but agrees. Dawson walks off grinning moronically, and then his face falls as he realizes he only has a few days to find some other insecure, benighted young woman to squire about town.
Hey, that new show Felicity looks like it might be pretty good.
After some random establishing shots outside Capeside High, we cut to the cafeteria, where Pacey tells Dawson that the double date plan isn't so bad, since the second prong of the getting-Jen-back process involves Dawson's dating other girls. I fail to see why the female population of Capeside need make that sacrifice for Dawson's doomed campaign. Dawson reminds Pacey that he doesn't have a date yet. Pacey says, "I admit it's kind of short notice, but there's [sic] a lot of young ladies who would give up their very uneventful plans for a date with Dawson Leery." In unison, Dawson and I roll our eyes and say, "Huh?" Pacey points out their classmate from Marine Biology, Mary Beth Random.
The scene has Dawson asking Mary Beth -- who is reading Erica Jong's Fear of Flying -- to the carnival on Saturday. Mary Beth, before you accept, I feel it's my duty to inform you that Dawson is incapable of anything residing in the same zip code as a "zipless fuck." She looks astonished (which is an interesting choice considering her other options could have been "horrified" or "derisive" or "nauseated"), but she recovers her composure and says that she knows Dawson just broke up with Jen, and that it's "a common mistake made by many people" to start dating again, after a break-up, before they're ready. Dawson assures her that he's completely ready. She hesitates a moment before smiling. Since the scene cuts there, I'll assume that constitutes her acceptance -- and, simultaneously, her funeral.
Joey regards snails in an aquarium in Dr. Rand's office. Pacey complains that he's bored. Joey says it's designed not to be fascinating, but to be educational. Pacey: Lame joke. Joey: If you don't do well on this project, you'll end up in summer school. Pacey: Only morons go to summer school. Joey: Your grade is F- at the moment, so pipe down and start helping.
The Flash, dressed quite nicely (though inexplicably) in a dark business suit, steps into the Sanctum Dawsonorum, where Dawson seems to be painting a model. Ahem, cough, GEEK, snif. The Flash asks if anyone called that the Flash should know about. Without looking up, Dawson says no. Trying unsuccessfully to sound casual, the Flash asks if anyone had called yesterday. Dawson says that he always leaves the Flash's messages on a pad beside the answering machine. The Flash says, "Forgive me, Dawson. Maybe I'm not being clear. I didn't ask if anyone had called for me personally. I asked if anyone had called that I should know about." Way to implicate your child in your domestic dispute, Father Of The Year. Dawson finally twigs and says, "No. He didn't call." The Flash thanks him and books. I don't know how I managed to forget how boring this plotline was.
The day, the Leakeys of Capeside have buggered their experiment and all the snail shells are empty. Joey blames Pacey because he was supposed to check on them, and says she's going to go to Dr. Rand and tell him that they can no longer work together. Long story much shorter, Pacey put a snail from another tank into the snails they were studying. Joey tells him that the new snail is carnivorous and must have eaten the old ones. Pacey agrees to do whatever it takes to salvage the experiment. "Whatever" -- that's my line!
Down at the creek, Joey tells Dawson that he's using Mary Beth to make Jen jealous. Dawson says that he knows, and that he's not happy to mistreat "an innocent young girl with some inexplicable crush on me." Replace "innocent" with "grossly misinformed" and "inexplicable" with "appalling," and you'd just about have an accurate assessment of the situation. Joey says that if he knows what he's doing is wrong, he shouldn't do it, and suggests, "Just call her up and say you have to stay in to wash your hair." Yeah -- preferably with Nair. Dawson somehow manages to make his face even longer, and says he knows he should do that, but that he can't, and he doesn't feel like himself lately. He adds that Pacey told him to look at this as an opportunity. Joey expresses disbelief at his taking romantic advice from Pacey, and says that his behaviour is not surprising under the circumstances, but that he shouldn't make a habit of it. Dawson lays it on a little thick telling her he won't. She tells him that, current evidence to the contrary, Dawson is "one of the good ones," and that the other side is populated enough. Hey, with a bean that big, Dawson's at least two or three of the good ones. Dawson decides to really stick it, and tells her he wishes he were taking Joey to the carnival. Joey shrugs and says that, all things considered, she wishes he were, too. Before the scene can get any more awkward, Pacey pulls up in a truck (whose? And didn't Pacey not have his driver's license in the season 2 premiere?) and yells at Joey to hurry up. She collects some gear -- including a net and a pair of rubber boots -- and explains to Dawson that Pacey is taking her to a tidal pool so that she can find a pair of replacement snails. Dawson, for some reason, makes an elaborately mournful face at this, but says nothing. Oh, Dawson. Someday you'll find your pair of replacement snails too.
Still looking mournful, Dawson meets Mary Beth at the carnival. She looks rather cute in a plum jacket, and with her hair all curled. She asks Dawson if it would be very forward of her to tell him he looks nice. No dear -- not "forward," just "inaccurate." He says no, and adds that she does too. She stumbles over herself telling him that he shouldn't feel obligated to say that, and then stops herself and says, "Let's start over," and introduces herself. They shake hands. Aw. If you ask me, they should have made Mary Beth a recurring character instead of Andie; her awkwardness and eagerness to please are both more genuine and more endearing. Anyway, as they're shaking hands, Jen walks up with Cliff "Knoll" Elliot, who remarks that he and Jen are "just in time for introductions." At the sight of Jen, Mary Beth looks stricken. Dawson introduces Mary Beth to Cliff and Jen; Jen says "nice to meet you," and Mary Beth says, "Same here. I think." She asks Dawson for "a word."
As they wander through the midway, Dawson admits that Jen's appearance isn't a coincidence. Mary Beth tells Dawson, essentially, that taking her on a double date with Jen is a pretty shitty thing to do, and that not telling her about it in advance makes it even worse. Dawson -- no surprise -- lacks the good grace to even make a pretense at shame or sheepishness, and laughs at Mary Beth's quite just anger. He says that it's not what she thinks, but she stops him and says that it's obvious to her that Dawson is still "hung up" on Jen. When he starts to protest, she says, "Please know that I am not often wrong about these things." Dawson smirks, "Until now." Mary Beth, clearly equipped with a very sensitive crap detector, says, "Humour me." Dawson finally says he'll tell her "the absolute truth," but in order to conceal this bill of goods from the audience, the show cuts to a commercial.
Dear Gap: Remember "Khakis swing"? I do. That's the reason why people despise "Everybody in Leather." Love, Wing Chun.
Pacey rows Joey down the creek. I certainly hope his form improved before he set foot on the set of Skulls. He complains about having to troll for snails in his free time. She tells him that, given the choice, she wouldn't be doing this either, but that she wasn't the one who screwed up the experiment. To change the subject slightly, Pacey remarks that he'd thought Joey was a good student, so what happened to her on this midterm? She asks what he means, and he explains that for her to be doing this project with him, she had to have failed the test. She evasively says that they're "almost there" and that they should "save the chit-chat for later."
Back at the carnival, poor Mary Beth is summarizing Dawson's explanation: "So you're really doing this for Jen. It's one of her first dates with Cliff. She probably doesn't want to be alone with him. She probably doesn't even know if she really likes him. So in order to take the pressure off, she asks you to make it a double. Dawson, that is really very sweet of you." Dawson says, "Really, don't mention it." Wow, this liar is "one of the good ones"? Dating must be pretty grim these days. Mary Beth won't let it go and keeps telling Dawson how great he is -- as if he needed to hear it from her on top of everyone else in tri-state area. They spot Cliff and Jen and walk over to meet back up with them.
At the creek, Joey starts to say that the water's getting high, so they should probably wrap it up, but when she turns around, she glares at Pacey. He says, "What?" She says, "Please tell me that you tied our boat up, and that the one floating downstream isn't ours." Pacey looks over his shoulder, turns back, and quietly says, "I tied the boat up, and the one floating downstream isn't ours?" Somehow, he managed to make it sound cute. Really. Joey huffs, "Great."
Dawson throws a baseball at some milk bottles while Cliff looks on. Dawson knocks down all of his but one; Cliff has one more ball (heh), and topples the last of his bottles and picks out a stuffed lion for Jen. Mary Beth says that she thinks the Ferris wheel is working again, but Dawson ignores her and challenges Cliff to a re-match. Jen and Mary Beth roll their eyes. Cliff says that there's "no shame in losing" to him, since he did come in third in the pitch, hit and run regionals last summer. Dawson squares his already-square jaw and throws -- like a girl -- knocking over the top-most bottle. Cliff throws. Blah blah, they both end with one fishcake standing. Mary Beth mutters, "Classic pissing contest." When it comes to who has the smaller penis -- Knoll or Dawson -- I really think it's too close to call, and too hard to measure using existing technology. Cliff's last throw misses. Dawson winds up, and Cliff says, "No pressure, man." Oh, go design a font. Because this is a TV show, Dawson knocks down the last bottle. The carny hands him a plush toy and says, "Who's the lucky lady?" So flushed with victory that his cover story has completely flown out of his mind, Dawson starts to proffer the toy to Jen, who looks alarmed. He catches himself and flicks his head back to Mary Beth, who looks disgusted that she let Dawson talk her out of her instincts. He says, "We need to talk." I hope she gives him an atomic wedgie.
Pacey and Joey wade through the water. Pacey tells her that the boat will wash ashore eventually. Joey says that the boat is not her main concern, and adds, "I should have known when you did in our snails that I wouldn't be far behind." Joey: Crack about Pacey's intellect, or lack thereof. Pacey: Crack about Joey's personality as the reason she doesn't have a boyfriend. Joey: Complaint about the cold water. They finally reach the shore, where Pacey's truck (?) is parked, and he tells her that he'll take her to her house to get some dry clothes, but in the meantime she should take off her clothes and wrap herself in the blanket he hands her. She starts to protest, but he says he's going to do the same thing with another blanket in the truck, so that they don't get sick. She reluctantly agrees. They walk around to opposite sides of the truck and start to undress. Pacey says, "No peeking." Joey says that she has no interest in seeing him naked. Pacey says, "Many people would consider you to be a very lucky woman." Joey says, "Many people would consider you to be a very deluded man." Hee! Pacey gets naked first and peers over the edge of the truck, asking, "How're you doing?" Joey threatens him with bodily harm if he gets any closer, so he gets in the cab and starts the engine, not without taking a good long look at her bare back in the rearview mirror. When she gets in the cab, he's still smiling. She asks why, and posits that it's because she looks ridiculous in the blanket, or because her misfortune amuses him, or because he enjoys putting her in awkward positions and watching her squirm. He says that it's none of those: "I was just thinking to myself that when you loosen up, you're not half-bad to be around. Bordering on fun, even." Joey glares at him, and then seems to consider this assessment, and smiles.
Dawson walks out to the carnival parking lot, where Mary Beth is sitting on the trunk of a car desultorily picking at a box of popcorn. Dawson calls her name, and she moans, "Oh, GAWD." My sentiments exactly. She says she's embarrassed: "Good old Mary Beth. Creating scenes wherever she goes." I assume that there was a cut scene here, since I didn't see her making any kind of scene, myself. Dawson tells her she has no reason to be embarrassed (other than being seen in public with him, and I assume that goes without saying), and tells her that she deserves an explanation that's true, for a change. Yeah, that might be refreshing. He admits that she was right the first time, and that he's not over Jen, and that he's on this date to try to get her back. He starts to apologize for hurting her, but she briskly cuts him off: "Dawson, you're a nice guy. I like you. Do I like you like you? No -- you're a little too neurotic for that." Dawson laughs, and asks why she went out with him. She says that she felt sorry for him at first, since he was clearly still in love with Jen, and "seemed harmless enough," and she didn't have anything else to do that day. He asks what upset her so much (see my "cut scene" theory above), if it wasn't his feelings for Jen. She eats a piece of popcorn without answering, so Dawson prompts her, "Mary Beth?" She says, "Do you ever notice the way Cliff's eyes sort of smile when he talks to you?" Dawson makes a face like Mary Beth just cut the cheese, and yells, "Oh my God. You have a crush on Cliff?" Hey, that's funny, because that's exactly how I sounded when I thought she had a crush on you. She says she hadn't really processed it until "that moment," which is either the moment at the milk bottle baseball game, or a moment in the scene that was cut. Anyway, she says that she was upset because just as she realized that she had a crush on Cliff, she could tell that he had one on Jen, and that she's "pretty hung up" on Cliff too. Dawson whines, "She is?" Mary Beth says she is, and then adds, "Of course, that doesn't mean that we still can't help each other out." Oh, Mary Beth, you little Machiavelli in pegged jeans! Come back to Capeside High, Mary Beth, Mary Beth!
Dawson and Mary Beth have re-joined Jen and Cliff, and are standing at the foot of the ferris wheel. A free car opens up, and Mary Beth commandeers Cliff and tells him to ride with her because they've "hardly chatted all night." Jen looks annoyed. Heh.
At Bessie's Bastard Barn, Joey and Pacey have changed into dry clothes. Pacey reminds her that she never answered his question of how well she did on the midterm. He adds that he knows she's a little embarrassed, so to "remove the stigma," he tells her his grade. She demurs, so he offers to guess: "Fifty-eight? Thirty-eight? Eighteen?" Exasperated, she admits, "Ninety-eight." Pacey doesn't understand, and says, "Nine-eight? Which was it, nine or eight?" She says it was both of them. He asks her to explain why she was doing extra credit if her grade was so high. Joey launches into a pretty long-winded monologue that boils down to her being dissatisfied with the circumstances of her life, and recognizing that the only way for her to improve her situation is through academic achievements, so she needs to get the best grades possible in order to win a scholarship and get the hell out of Capeside. Word. Pacey tells her that she'll make it out of Capeside, and when she does, she can send him postcards in care of wherever he's tending bar. Joey tells him that he'll get out too. The scene was actually very sweet, and captured the intimacy and mutual respect that would underlie a relationship of that many years' standing -- even a relationship that tended to be adversarial.
On the ferris wheel, Dawson is asking Jen if she's having a good time. She says she is. The wheel stops with them at the top (of course).
In their car, Mary Beth is looking anxious and Cliff is looking grouchy. Mary Beth says, "You know what I find fascinating is that the word [sic] 'flammable' and 'inflammable' mean the exact same thing. Isn't that bizarre?" Hee! Cliff says nothing.
Dawson tells Jen that she and Cliff seem "pretty together." Jen says that she wouldn't say that -- she'd just say they're on a date, and getting to know each other, and adds that she doesn't want to talk about it with Dawson anymore. Well, it's about damn time, Blondie. She says she knows she made a big deal about her wish to remain friends with him, but that now she wants to retract that offer. Dawson angrily asks what that's supposed to mean. From where I sit, it sounds like it means "duh." She tells him that he shouldn't be there; she doesn't know why he wanted to be there, or why she said it was okay, but at this point it looks like "a seamless transition into friendship" is not in the cards for them. He pouts, "I'm not sure you'd have time for it anyhow, what with your hectic dating schedule and whatnot." Jen looks betrayed, and says that she'd love it if they could get off this ferris wheel without insulting each other any further. Dawson gets his bitch on and starts ranting, "Oh, am I insulting you, Jen? Is that what I'm doing? Because, you know, that's not my intent. My intent -- since we suddenly seem to have the time for it -- is to ask for one small clarification...When you broke up with me, among the many questions that I asked you was why. Do you remember that? And do you remember your response -- your very convincing, very heartfelt response? It was, you needed to be alone -- that there were too many men in your life, and that you needed time away from those men. And correct me if I'm wrong, but Cliff Elliot is not exactly with the women's auxiliary."
First of all, I don't know what is up with that "women's auxiliary" bit. And second, Dawson, if you knew the meaning of the word "tact," then you would know that Jen might have been trying to exercise it when she told you her reason for dumping you, when the more accurate response would have been that she needed a lot of both time and distance away from your ass. Jen says that she's on a date with Cliff, and that it doesn't mean they have a future. Dawson angrily asks why she didn't just tell him the truth that he's only figured out now: "That you weren't tired of men -- you were just simply tired of me." Uh. What did I say? Jen protests that he's wrong, and Dawson yells at her some more -- because that's the way to win a girl over -- that she should prove him wrong by looking him in the eye and telling him that he completely misread the situation. Jen says she doesn't want to "do this right now." Dawson says that Jen asked him two questions before, and that he'd like to answer them. He says that the reason he's there is "for all the obvious reasons, Jen -- for all the clichés about the ex-boyfriend who's still hung up on his ex, who doesn't want to say goodbye, who can't let go." Who is, in other words, a stalker? He goes on to ask why she allowed him to come. With the classic Dawson Leery smirk of pig-headed self-confidence, he suggests: "Could it be -- could it possibly be -- that your reasons are the same as mine? That you need me just as much as I need you?" Jen exhales, and doesn't answer. Dawson says, "Jen?" She finally turns to him and breathes, "Dawson..." Dawson gets it, finally, and turns away, saying, "Just don't tell me that I was wrong." The ferris wheel starts up again. THANK GOD.
Dawson sits alone on a park bench, smiling to himself over God only knows what. He looks up to spot Pacey and Joey walking together and strolls over to say hi. Pacey says he needs to talk to Dawson so they leave Joey alone. Pacey asks how Dawson's night was, and he says it was terrible. Dawson asks Pacey the same and Pacey says it wasn't so bad. Long story short, Pacey says he's become attracted to Joey and wants Dawson's permission to kiss her. Dawson says that Pacey is his friend, and Joey is his friend, and that he doesn't care who Joey kisses but that if it's Pacey, "so much the better." Pacey is pleased that Dawson's okay with it and starts to go. Pacey has only gone a few steps before Dawson changes his mind and calls Pacey back. Pacey asks what they do now. Dawson sort of chuckles at himself, and then says it's fine, again, and tells Pacey to go kiss her. After Pacey leaves, Dawson is left all alone standing beside the merry-go-round. Boo hoo. Not.
Pacey drops Joey off at the Bastard Barn. Pacey asks if he has to fail another midterm, or whether they can "do this again sometime?" Joey reminds him that they still have a report to finish. Pacey says that isn't what he meant. Joey asks what he did mean. Pacey says, "Let me put it to you this way," and kisses her, but only for a couple of seconds before she pulls away and starts giggling nervously, asking him what that was for. Pacey recovers quickly and says that if she has to ask, it obviously didn't have the desired effect. She asks why he would do that, and he says that he kissed her because he had a good day with her, and he was confused, surprised, and attracted. He asks how she felt about the day they'd shared. She looks flattered, and apologetically answers, "Confused and surprised." Pacey looks disappointed, of course, but says it's okay as long as they don't extend the awkward moment any longer. She steps closer, and puts her hand on his arm and says she had a nice day too. Aw. That was nice -- natural, too. She bounces up the stairs but before she can go inside he asks her, "If, by some slim chance, you had actually kissed me back, you'd have probably been thinking of someone else, right?" Joey looks down, and goes inside without answering.
In the Sanctum Dawsonorum, our hero mopes on his bed, then suddenly leaps up and tears down the stairs. As he hits the ground floor, he hears the phone ringing, and glances into the kitchen to see the Flash and the Bride of Flash with their arms around each other. He smiles at the sight, and leaves. In the Flash's arms, the Bride of Flash sort of pulls her head back, and he says, "Let it ring." She chuckles. It won't last.
A Three Stooges tape plays on the TV in the video store as Dawson comes stomping in to tell Pacey that he changed his mind again, and he doesn't want Pacey to kiss Joey. I almost wish Joey and Pacey had had sex just so that it would shut Dawson up. Pacey plays dumb, and then, seeing how agitated Dawson is, he toys with him by saying that Dawson is too late; not only did Pacey kiss her, but she kissed him back, they made out for an hour, she invited him in (but he declined), she's cooking dinner for him tomorrow, and they're going "up the coast" to a "B & B" this weekend. (What is it with Pacey and B & Bs?) It finally dawns on Dawson that Pacey is full of it. Pacey says, "Yes I am. And so are you. You know, it's time you started asking yourself some serious questions, Dawson, 'cause you exhaust [sic] way too much time and energy on a girl you call your friend. So, you know what? Let's just set the record straight, here. Who's it going to be? Is it Jen, or is it Joey? Do you like the blonde, or do you like the brunette?" Dawson starts to do his classic dismissive scoffing, but Pacey stops him: "These questions are not going to go away, Dawson. It's time that you provided some answers." Dawson's eyebrows are confused. I'm annoyed.