Demian gave this episode a grade of
D
56 users have given this episode an average grade of
C
First off, major props to Kim for enduring this hell on a weekly basis. She has the strength of ten recappers, I tell you. I'd also like to thank Shack for the rosaries he's offering up during this, my hour of need. Finally: James Cameron? Bite me. As if The Abyss and Titanic weren't bad enough.
I suppose I should explain my presence. Kim recently got engaged, and after putting up with this year's roster of delusional losers, drunks, and drag queens on The Real World, she quite reasonably decided a short vacation with the fianc was far preferable to seeing what Jessica Alba's lips were up to on Halloween. Therefore, I'll be your guide this week as Max indulges in a bit of production-company-dictated nonsense. I've never seen Dark Angel before this evening, and trust me, after this episode, I will never be seeing it again. Let's get to the recap, then, shall we?
The hour opens in Logan's apartment. He and Asha stare intently at a computer screen as Asha asks, "So what's the deal with this hit man?" Logan notes that the hit man in question is "an independent contractor" who "got into town last night." He's the same independent contractor hired by somebody to kill someone named Rivera last year. Asha fumbles some manuals to the floor. When she bends to collect them, Max is revealed to be standing in the adjacent room. Logan greets her. Max just swung by "to cadge some coffee," but she volunteers to assist them in tracking down the contract killer. There's no coffee to be found in Casa Logan, which the gentleman of the house finds "ironic given that Seattle was the coffee capital of North America back in the day." Logan and Asha have everything covered already with the aid of the gang at S1W, but they appreciate the offer. Hearing this, Max shrugs her shoulders mildly and announces she has to "jet." "Cadge"? "Jet"? I hate these people already. Before Max leaves, she notifies the two of the party being held at Crash in honor of Halloween. Logan and Asha can't make it, as they're, you know, trying to stop a hired assassin and all, but they thank Max for the invitation nonetheless. Max leaves.
“ Max asks Jo-Jo if he's okay. Jo-Jo does a shaky little head nod that aims for dismissive but clearly indicates that he now needs to change his underwear. ”
The scene cuts to Max and Cindy perched on their bikes at a red light while "Clint Eastwood" splatters itself all over the soundtrack. Max tells Cindy she told Rafer she'd "maybe" show up at Crash that evening. "'Maybe'?" snorts Cindy. Sassily. "That is a sign of mental health." What in the who? The hell? A smelly beggar man named Murray approaches and asks the two if he's told them "the one about the priest, the minister, and the rabbi." Cindy waves him and his stench away. As the light switches to green, Max asks Cindy to disclose her costume choice for the night. "Either Snow Ho and the Seven Little Pimps," goes the reply, "or Rick James. I'm thinkin' Supafreak bo deep-o sitch amma gulla gull deeks." I swear that's what the woman said. The two push off down the street, with Max asking if Cindy would mind accompanying her to Joshua's to drop off some groceries. Cindy has no problem with that. I think. Her response is, "Lefsa hay daggy dawg," so you decide. I'm so white. Max and Lesbian Ebonics Barbie wheel out of the frame.
Cut to Jo-Jo The Dog-Faced Boy staring out his window through the burglar-proof mesh. I should call it addict-proof mesh, because the house looks like a crack den. He watches a passel of costumed brats trick-or-treating as they wander to and fro on the street below. Jo-Jo sniffs at the air. For a moment I thought he was of a mind to eat the costumed brats, but alas, I was wrong. He just playfully arfs at them a couple of times. There's a knock at Jo-Jo's door, and he snuffles his way over to it. Jo-Jo crouches down to the doorknob, twisting it cautiously. He edges through the threshold and turns to face a little blonde Nazi child dressed as a debutante zombie with a fake butcher's knife through her head. She screams, loudly and at a pitch so high it approaches the ultrasonic. Rather than retrieving a real butcher's knife and gutting the little monster, Jo-Jo rears back in silent, gape-snouted terror. The camera cuts back to the monstrous moppet, dives into her mouth, and emerges into the opening credits.
The shot following the credits parallels in reverse the one immediately prior. We pull back from the commercial through Jo-Jo's own screaming mouth as he flutters in terror against the door frame. It's disgusting; you can see the underside of his tongue. The mutual screaming goes on for some time. Max and Ebonics Barbie bound up the front steps to the porch to defuse the situation. The Nazi child shuts her mouth, then smirks, "Trick or treat! Did I scare you?" Not so much "scare" as "deafen," but thanks for asking. Little sow. Ebonics Barbie takes Jo-Jo's hand and says, "Wily comma Halloween, Boo." The Nazi child demands candy, for she and her "crew" have thus far received nothing more than a carton of eggs. This dialogue is going to kill me before the ten-minute mark. Max forces a fiver into the Nazi child's hands, telling her to scram. The Nazi child tells Jo-Jo he has a "cool costume" and exits with said "crew." Max asks Jo-Jo if he's okay. Jo-Jo does a shaky little head nod that aims for dismissive but clearly indicates that he now needs to change his underwear. The three enter Jo-Jo's House Of Crack, shutting the door behind them.