It's the finale! In just a few hours, the winner, either Jack, Amber, or Corbin will be announced. Everyone knew from day one that Amber and Corbin were going to be here, but Jack is the wild card. The opening number evokes a red carpet with appearances from all of the former contestants, many of whom I forgot existed, and the judges even do a little bit.
After a lengthy recap of last night's dances, we go to break. When we come back. Snooki and Sasha give us a quick view of their cheerleader jive from earlier this season. That's a nice way to incorporate the former contestants. And it's the only dancing we're going to see right now, because first we have to sit through a performance by Enrique Iglesias. This is exactly why I did not miss the results shows this season.
And now there won't be dancing yet! Hope you didn't tune into this show for dancing! First up, let's talk about Corbin. It's hard to tell that he's not a pro, but his movements can sometimes be disjointed. Amber can dance really well, but she's not a pro, and she relies on Derek too much. Jack is the big surprise, but he needs to perform more and stop thinking about his steps too much.
Amber and Derek are reprising their freestyle. It was really great and a fantastic showcase for Amber's strengths. She looks like she's having a ball out there too. And let's not sit down on Derek's choreography; the backup dancers and their synchronicity is amazing.
Tom talks to Len about the fusion dance challenge. Len can't believe how difficult the challenge is, because they only have twenty-four hours to learn the moves and character for two very different styles of dance, and the pros have that same time period to come up with the choreography.
Why do we even have this first hour when it's just filler? Here's another clip package reviewing the entire season. And then a performance by Ylvis of “What Does the Fox Say?” and another performance of the team dance to that song. Which, fine. That was a very entertaining routine so I don't mind watching it again. Corbin nearly dances right out of his fake tuxedo and I thought he was going to accidentally drop trou in the middle of his solo. That was amusing. I would love to show this routine to my dad and get his reaction. I picture puzzled disgust. And then he would say something like, "What is this crap?"
How about another clip package? Of the stars talking about their experiences on the show. At least this one isn't maudlin; it's more funny, talking about the ups and downs of the experience.
And another dance routine. Sigh. This one is all the female pros.
Then they do this dumb bit about how Bill Nye was rebuilt by science after his injury, and he comes out and does his "Weird Science" routine with Tyne except that they keep cutting away and a stunt double comes in and does flips and jumps and stuff and then Bill runs back in like he was there all along. I wasn't really watching for the first few seconds and I was very confused how he did a huge jump, but then I was like, "And he also grew a few inches and got much more fit!" So it was a stunt double.
Elizabeth and Val are back for another routine. Elizabeth still has the off-putting crazy eyes, in case you were wondering. She's just a little TOO INTENSE and it freaks me out. I'm sure she's a very nice person. That leads into another clip package reviewing the second half of the season, including what may have been my favorite moment of any season, when Julianne said that Mark is an overdancer and a focus-puller (although she said it nicer).
Christina and Mark are back to dance with Brant and Peta. Most seasons, at least one of these couples might have made the finals. They were good enough to do so, but just didn't have the fanbase, I guess.
Clip package with Valerie and Tristan. Valerie says that she's so happy to be back, and she was given a death sentence earlier this year, and she shouldn't even be alive now. And here she is dancing! She and Tristan are dancing to Colbie Caillat singing "What a Wonderful World." Valerie moves beautifully for a woman of any age, and if she forgets a few steps in the middle, who gives a shit?
Clip package reviewing Snooki and Sasha's goofy partnership. And then they dance. Snooki is working it. It's kind of nice to see her dancing with all the pressure removed; she seems like she's having a lot more fun.
Lady Antebellum. Performance of their new single. And then another clip package of the past few weeks. Seriously, we are 1:15 into this two-hour show and we haven't seen any of the finalists do a final dance yet. This is bullshit.
So why not have more people we already voted off the show dance? Leah and Tony do a tango. Leah is like Snooki in that she dances much better now that the pressure is off. I wish she could have done this weeks ago. Bill and Emma are also doing another dance, although they didn't have time to learn a new one having just been eliminated last night. They are reprising their samba.
1 2 3 4
Finally it's time for some finals dancing! Clip package of Corbin and Karina's last rehearsal. Corbin is really strategic, since this last dance will only be scored by the judges and not voted on by fans. I think Corbin also might be in love with Karina. They have a foxtrot-cha cha fusion. They start slow with foxtrot and then move into cha cha. It's everything you expect from Corbin: smooth, good technique, professional.
Judges? Len says that Corbin's foxtrot was fantastic and his cha cha was crisp, but he had one little mistake. Bruno can't believe they put that together so quickly, and the foxtrot was amazing, although he also saw the mistakes in the cha cha. Carrie Ann also saw the mistakes in the cha cha. So he's not getting a perfect score. I'm glad they explained why. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9, and Bruno 9.
Now it's Jack and Cheryl's final dance. Their fusion dance is paso doble and salsa, and they've never done the salsa before. Come on, Jack. I'm rooting for you. They intermingle the two dance styles throughout, but I think Jack is stronger in the paso sections than the salsa sections. His posture goes a little loosey-goosey in the salsa. That said, he didn't seem to miss a step, and he attacked the dance, which I know Len loves.
Judges? Bruno thought it was a wonderful fusion of two very different dances, and Jack's timing was great. Carrie Ann also loved how they went back and forth between the styles, but she thought Jack was a little flat-footed on the salsa. Len enjoys watching Jack the most of any celebrity, because he has shown improvement every week. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9, and Bruno 9. For a dance he'd never done before, and given his background, that's pretty good.
Amber is really tired, and they have the quickstep-samba, so there's a lot of work and footwork to put in last night after dancing for the show. But Amber is competitive and willing to give it her best. Derek has put together a really cute routine that seems to tell the story of a couple that is trying to dance the more formal quickstep but their bodies want to samba. I can't believe they learned this routine in one night. It is JAM packed with content and Amber doesn't miss a beat, and she also performs the hell out of it.
Judges? Carrie Ann thought they merged the two styles so seamlessly that it was like they created a whole new dance style. Len tells Amber that he gets a great deal of joy watching her, and she lights up the ballroom. Bruno says he counted every beat and Amber didn't put a foot wrong, which is incredible. Scores: Carrie Ann 10, Len 10, and Bruno 10. Looks like Derek's headed for another trophy.
1 2 3 4
Then, just because things have been to exciting for a while, let's have a performance from Colbie Caillat to slow things down.
And now comes the maudlin part, where each star talks about how awesome their pros are. And then they reveal who ended up in third place: Jack and Cheryl. That's probably right based on actual dancing ability, but I was rooting for him just based on his story and his attitude, which kind of makes me hate myself? Because I used to get mad when people went far based on personality instead of dancing ability. Who am I? Anyway, they all talk with Tom and Brooke about how inspirational Jack's journey has been.
And then there were two. But only one of them can win. And the winners are…Amber and Derek. Amber FLIPS the fuck out. It's great. She really didn't think she was going to win. I don't know why, but she was really prepared to lose, I think. She gives a shout out to women of all sizes to do whatever they want to do. Brooke has a quick word with Corbin, who is incredibly gracious and sweet. And then Amber gets her hands on the trophy and everyone celebrates. And for once, they all seem to be celebrating Amber and not Derek, which is nice.
So there's the season! It was a good one, I think. I liked only have the show one night a week. I think tonight showed that they were rusty doing Results Shows and I never missed any of that filler on Tuesday nights. See you in the spring!
1 2 3 4