Since old Len isn't here tonight, they have the judges dance their way onto the floor after the opening pro number, starting with Bruno and Carrie Ann and then Julianne Hough. I'm actually looking forward to having Julianne as guest judge, if she's honest. I think she could offer a lot of insight. Or she could be totally vague and useless, but I'm hoping for the former.
First up to face the new judging panel are Jack and Cheryl. They have the quickstep this week, which Jack finds taxing because you spring for the entire dance. In their rehearsals, we see that Cheryl is really short with Jack and… kind of mean! Jack doesn't seem like a slacker. I guess she's pushing him. He tries to crack jokes and she just shoots him down. But something must be working because this dance has approximately one million steps and he doesn't miss one. His frame and posture need work, as do his facial expressions, but this was a tough routine in terms of the sheer number of steps, and he nailed it. Also, Jack totally commits to the dance, which I like.
Judges? Julianne can't believe how much Jack improved since last week, and she advises that he should have fun with it now. Bruno was impressed with the footwork and the pace, but he lost his frame a little bit. Carrie Ann thought his frame was fine and he was more animated this week than last week. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Julianne 8, and Bruno 8. Julianne seems tickled that she gets to raise up a paddle. I think that score is exactly right.
Elizabeth and Val have the Argentine tango, and in rehearsals, Elizabeth makes Val stare into her eyes. Elizabeth thinks it was a great exercise to foster connection; Val thinks she's looney tunes. She does have the crazy eyes, for sure. Anyway, their dance is very pretty but it's all so actor-y to me. I don't feel a lot of genuine connection or passion between them. It just feels like a performance. I don't know. She bugs me so her dances bug me too.
Judges? Bruno tells her that she's done it totally right. Carrie Ann loves that Elizabeth tells a story with her dance. Julianne agrees with Carrie Ann, and she compliments Val's choreography also. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Julianne 9, and Bruno 9. I guess.
Injury update time! Brant did great last week, despite having an injured foot. This week, he and Peta have the salsa and Peta wants to do a bunch of lifts. The problem is that Brant has an old shoulder injury that prevents him from having the strength and stability to hold her up there. So just take them out? This show's about dancing, not lifts. Brant does a pretty good job with the routine, and Peta's no dummy and has him rip his shirt off as early as possible, but there's something wonky with his posture, and his feet are pigeon-toed. He can really move, and he's totally committed, but I can't pinpoint the problem. Just that it looks weird, and not as good as his first two dances.
Judges? Carrie Ann says that the lifts were fantastic, but with his shirt off, it was more obvious that some of his moves were wonky. Julianne jokes that she's single if Brant's looking, but it was a little loosey goosey with sloppy feet. That is exactly the phrase that came into my head: "loosey goosey." Bruno loved Brant's turn into a brazen party animal, but the girls are right that it lacked some control. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Julianne 7, and Bruno 7.
Tristan and Valerie have the waltz this week. Talking about last week, Valerie thinks her low scores were fair, because she screwed up, but now they're on a new week and ready to move ahead. She seriously has the best attitude about everything in the world. I admire her so much. Valerie says that the pace is getting faster and the dances are more intricate, but she's not ready to give up. She's here for the party, and as long as she can participate fairly, despite her age and bad knees and cancer, she's going to dance. God, I could just cry. Oh, and her routine is hard to watch because she wants so badly to do well, but she keeps stumbling and Tristan pilots her through it and she's crying at the end but God, everyone just wants her to do well! We are all rooting for you, Valerie! I don't envy the judges this week.
Judges? Julianne tells Valerie that she's courageous and she advises Tristan to do more in hold and less alone. Bruno thinks Valerie painted some pretty pictures, but she should just act over it when she messes up and let Tristan worry about the routine. Carrie Ann saw many beautiful moments, but they made the mistakes stand out even more. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Julianne 6, and Bruno 6.
Leah wants to get even better scores, and she advises Tony to strip down and slide down a pole. And then she asks him to give her fewer moves while he dances around, but Tony's not having it. Their cha cha is really good, but I think Leah could stand to go even bigger and sharper and more dramatic with her moves. Like her hands and feet are in the right spots, but it needs more pow! And bam! Oh my God, I'm turning into Bruno.
Judges? Bruno loves Leah's attitude, and he advises her how to get sharper in her movements. Carrie Ann loves it too, but wanted stronger movements. Julianne thought she had strong and quick footwork, but her attitude and her movements aren't quite matching. She's like 95% there; she just needs that extra 5%. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Julianne 8, and Bruno 8.
Corbin and Karina have the paso doble, and Corbin struggles for the first time in rehearsals because it's such a different type of dancing than he's used to doing. I'm sure he will be like a professional. And he totally is. What surprises me is how much passion and, dare I say, sexuality he brings to the routine. I knew he could dance, but he's also an amazing performer. That was one of the best pasos I have ever seen on this show.
Judges? Carrie Ann is drowned out by the crowd at first but says that she loved it. She did see a little hip hop in some of his movements. Julianne loved that they didn't have any gimmicks in the routine, because he didn't need them, although sometimes his hips weren't quite in the right place. Bruno thought he didn't quite get the Spanish line, but it was an incredibly powerful performance. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Julianne 9, and Bruno 9. I'm glad he didn't get perfect scores if there were a few technical issues. He should be judged on a slightly different scale, I think.
Snooki and Sasha are doing a cheerleader-themed jive. Snooki shares that she was a cheerleader in high school but she developed an eating disorder, and she hopes that she can now create more positive feelings around cheerleading. Plus she got sick this week and could barely stand during rehearsals. Well, you can't really tell when you see her routine. She doesn't miss a beat. There are a few spots where she could have sharper placement of her feet on the kicks, and near the end, she seems like she's just getting through it instead of performing it. But there is a LOT of dancing in this routine. I'm tired just watching them.
Judges? Julianne calls her a little nugget, and thought this routine fit her personality, but her kicks needed to be sharper, and she needed more connection with Sasha. Bruno stands up and sings to her, even though he agrees with Julianne. He thinks her performance level is amazing. Carrie Ann thought she was like a little cartoon, but she needs to watch her knees and arms. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Julianne 8, and Bruno 8. After the week they had, I think they'll take it.
Christina and Mark have the foxtrot this week, and it's her first ballroom dance. She has a hard time in rehearsals because there are so many technical things to worry about, and this is the first time she's really had to struggle in learning a dance. How did it all turn out? She has the opposite problem of Valerie; she's way better solo than in hold. And she's putting a lot of hip hop into these moves. I don't think ballroom is her thing, even though technically, I didn't see a lot of problems.
Judges? Bruno thought it was a foxy foxtrot, even if it was untraditional, and she needs to work on her sections in hold. Carrie Ann thought she did a great job transitioning between the two styles, and she needs to watch her shoulders. Julianne wants to see a different side of Christina, because she's given them only one note. And then she says the best thing! She says that she wants Christina to shine, and she's danced with Mark before, and she knows you have to stand in front of him sometimes to be seen! HA! Confirmation that he is an overdancer and glory hog. Mark looks PISSED though he tries to pretend he's laughing it off. I love Julianne forever for finally saying that on camera. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Julianne 8, and Bruno 8.
Derek assures all of us that his sister won't be giving him any special favors as a judge, and in fact, it's probably the opposite. And then Amber hurts her knees during rehearsal and has to sit out a day or two and just watch. So with her limited rehearsal and injuries, she's just hoping not to embarrass herself out there. They have the tango. I can't tell if Amber's facial expressions are because she's being fierce or because she's in pain. There are a few that could go either way. She doesn't miss a step but it's not as flashy as most of her past routines have been.
Judges? Carrie Ann thought she was in fine form, and her hold was amazing, as was her footwork. Julianne was impressed that Amber was able to project personality despite it being a tight and contained dance. Bruno thought it was a classic and amazing tango. I have to say that I am not seeing the Amber bedazzlement. I think she's good and fun to watch; I don't think she's a better ballroom dancer than, say, Elizabeth or Corbin. And she gets a tongue-bathing every time. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Julianne 9, and Bruno 9. Amber looks as surprised as I am.
Bill and Emma have the samba, and Bill is worried that he's going to look like a creepy old man with his attempted gyrations. Well, I wouldn't say he looks creepy, but his hip action is non-existent. This is about what I expected when I heard he was a contestant. He does great with the footwork, but his arms are a disaster and he keeps bobbing his head like a chicken pecking for food. It's not good. But he's having fun! And the crowd loves him.
Judges? Julianne thinks that Bill got to go last because the audience loves him, and she loves him too. Bruno thought it had everything you can wish for in a samba except timing and rhythm, but it was really fun. Carrie Ann thinks it was entertaining even if it didn't look much like a samba. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Julianne 7, and Bruno 7. That was probably higher than he deserved, technically.
And Tom doesn't waste any time and tells Bill right away that he's safe and will be returning week. They are stunned, to say the least. I love that Bill really cares about staying on the show. That makes me want him to stay, even if he's not the best dancer.
So here are the scores this week, which are pretty boring and predictable:
Elizabeth and Val: 27
Corbin and Karina: 27
Amber and Derek: 27
Jack and Cheryl: 24
Leah and Tony: 24
Snooki and Sasha: 24
Christina and Mark 24
Brant and Peta: 21
Bill and Emma: 21
Valerie and Tristan: 18
And now it's time to find out which other couples are safe, and who is going home. Here are some safe couples: Elizabeth and Val, Leah and Tony, Corbin and Karina, Amber and Derek, Jack and Cheryl, and Christina and Mark.
Man, they burned right through those. So the three couples left are Brant and Peta, Valerie and Tristan, and Snooki and Sasha. One of them is definitely coming back, and that couple is Snooki and Sasha.
Brooke tells us that Brant and Peta and Valerie and Tristan are not necessarily the bottom two, but one of these couples is going home. So who's going home? Valerie and Tristan. Aw. That is really sad. I mean, dance-wise, she is probably the to go. But she is an amazing human being. Would that all of us could have her grace in the face of such terrible news, and her wonderful positive attitude as well. Tristan says that his life's a little bit better since he met her. Valerie has kind words for the judges and the audience and hosts. Whew. I mean, she probably couldn't have gone on much longer. I can't see her handling the weeks when they have to do two dances. But it's still sad, because she was such a bright spot in each episode.