The 300th episode opens with a huge number by all of the pros, including those already eliminated and those still in it, and it's quite impressive. They do a lot of moves in hold, where all of the couples have to be in sync, and they pull it off. I know I've said this a million times, but I'm always amazed at the pros learning multiple routines each week and executing them flawlessly, or even mostly so.
After a quick recap of last night's episode, we're already moving on to results. The first couple through to the finals is Jacoby and Karina! Yay! That must mean Ingo's going home, right? I really can't see any of the other three going home. Maybe, maybe Kellie and Derek just because I don't know if Kellie has the fanbase, but I think Derek's fans would pull her through. As we go to commercial, Dmitri and Peta dance us out. I'm happy to see Dmitri around again. I wonder if that means he'll be dancing season?
There were many dances with perfect scores last night, but the judges chose Derek and Kellie's Argentine tango. That also makes me worried that they're going home. Now I'm seriously concerned.
The guest dancer tonight is a little girl who beat the World Record for most pirouettes in a row at 55. Come on. If you don't think that's hard, go spin around 55 times in a row. Now imagine doing it on one leg. Yeah. Anyway, this girl gets to dance with her hero Chelsie, and some of the other pros. So she comes out and dances and, she's actually really good. Like normally when they let the little kids dance, it's like, "Oh, isn't she cute and she's pretty good for a kid." This girl is actually good. I can't figure out how she does those pirouettes. She gets faster as she goes along, which doesn't seem like it should be possible according to the laws of physics. Wow.
Then there's a clip package where the couples interview one another. It's a little cute, I guess? But we see these people interacting every week, so it's not like there are any shockers.
Brooke interviews Jacoby and Karina and shows film of Jacoby's mom, who brought her own ten paddle. Of course she did. And then they show interview footage of Mark and Aly, where Mark totally narcs on Aly for stealing bracelets from her costumes every week. Aly is so embarrassed, but Brooke admits that she stole some for her daughters and Karina nods when Aly asks if she takes stuff too. Heh. I'm sure they're like dollar store bangles that they glued sequins to, right? That was the most human I've ever seen Mark act, by the way. Tom calls them a bunch of "spray-tanned kleptomaniacs." That's why Tom is the best.
The Wanted are here to perform their song "Fill a Heart." Is this a boy band? They look pretty old to be a boy band. But they don't play any instruments. I'm starting to feel like I should bring in someone much younger to discuss the musical performances on this show because I am way too old to know anything about any of these groups. Maybe my editor's daughter could do it? Although I'm sure she's too busy watching SYTYCD tonight.
Avril Lavigne is here to perform "Here's To Never Growing Up." Ugh. This bitch. I saw her perform this song on The Tonight Show the other night. Look, I don't watch Leno. I wanted to see Amy Poehler on Fallon and I flipped over a few minutes early. Don't judge me! Anyway, the first few notes of the chorus are a total rip-off of Pink's "Don't Let Me Get Me" but maybe her fiancée, the singer from Nickelback, taught her a few things about writing songs that all sound the same. And I also feel like this song bites Miley's "Party in the USA" of all things. Also, Avril? Honey? You're like 28. You're already grown up. She's the worst.
Now we take a look back at Zendaya's performances last night. She didn't get great comments from the judges for her first dance, but she nailed it on her second one. How about Kellie? Len was cheering for her during the first dance, but Derek confirms that she looked confused during the second dance. Thank you. I noticed that too. And now some results: Kellie and Derek are going to the finals. Whew! Does that mean Zendaya is in jeopardy? She's not going home. They would have been pimping the shocking results all night. Anyway, they're in jeopardy but I'm not worried. It just means Ingo is going home.
Another dance with Gleb wearing an unbuttoned silk shirt. Silk shirts don't really do it for me. There's a bed on the stage too. I wonder if Maks is watching this somewhere, furious that they stole his idea.
Time to review Ingo's performances (blech) and Aly and Mark's performances (best they've been). To the surprise of no one, Ingo and Kym are in jeopardy and Aly and Mark are through to the finals.
So who's going home? Zendaya or Ingo? Zendaya looks really sad. Chin up, girl! The only reason you were even in the bottom two was because of your first dance, and the fact that the others got so many perfect scores. And, of course, Ingo's going home. Look, I'm sure he's a good guy. But if he had made the finals ahead of any of the other remaining couples, it would have been a travesty. Ingo is pretty philosophical about his elimination; he expected to go home long ago.
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And now on to the finals! My heart wants Jacoby, but I think Zendaya is the best dancer. But Kellie is a dark horse, especially with Derek as a partner, and Aly has really impressed me the last two weeks. Who will it be?
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