Tonight's semifinals will feature a tribute to the 25th anniversary of Michael Jackson's "Bad" album, which seems like a fairly random thing to celebrate. I mean, yes, great dancer and great album, but there have been multiple tributes to him on this show over the seasons. I smell Mark Ballas in this decision. Anyway, we're opening with a routine to a medley of Jackson's songs: "Smooth Criminal" and "The Way You Make Me Feel". Is it a medley if it's only two songs? And did the troupe get bigger? Oh, Tom says that there were guest dancers in there as well.
The semifinalists are introduced and then Melissa and Tony are up first, dancing a caveman hustle. I don't have any clue what this will entail. Melissa is the only person left who didn't win her original season. Tony and Melissa work on their dance, and worry that it's just going to be stupid, like every routine on this show makes a ton of sense. I mean, remember when Mark and Bristol dressed up like gorillas. And then when they were doing camera blocking on Saturday, something happened with Tony's back and he collapsed in kind of a scary way. Yikes. Anyway, here's their caveman hustle. First a terrible CGI dinosaur comes out. I mean, I could make one on my iPad that would look more realistic. And then, I don't even know what to say about this dance. Given the assignment of caveman hustle (danced to "Walk the Dinosaur" by Was (Not Was)), I guess it was as good as it could be? But it was fucking ridiculous. They did look like cavemen? And there was some hustle moves in there? And they didn't make any mistakes? And yet, I was still looking at my TV in shock and awe and disbelief, like what is happening right now?
Maybe the judges can make sense of that mess. Len thought they captured the flavor of the caveman (Tom jokes, "Does that come up much in dance?") and he enjoyed watching it. Bruno thought some of the turns were unsteady, but it was a sexy performance. Carrie Ann thought it was the perfect way to bring two random dances, although she liked the caveman sections better. I wonder if going barefoot screwed up Melissa's turns, like her feet stuck to the floor or something. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9.5, and Bruno 9. I think Melissa and Tony are fine with those scores, given the weirdo nature of their assigned routine.
Shawn and Derek have Knight Rider Bhangara. They don't know much about either part of their assigned dance. The Bhangara is an Indian celebration dance, so Derek brings in an outside choreographer to help them out. Shawn has a lot of trouble just getting the basic moves down, because it's totally different from her gymnastics training or anything they've done in ballroom so far. Holy crap, this dance looks insanely hard. It's all bouncing down on your knees. My knees would give out in like five seconds. And the stamina! I have no idea if this was a good version of a bhangara or not, but they certainly put their all into it. Derek even looked a little awkward at times, like he didn't quite have the moves. I don't even know how to judge something like this, but it was certainly interesting to watch.
Judges? Bruno makes Shawn give him a hug and yells that it was "another mega hit." Carrie Ann knows it was a challenging routine and points out that Shawn is out of breath for once, but they did a fantastic job. Len can't even talk, but says that it was dynamite and fantastic. I think we've got some perfect scores coming up. Scores: Carrie Ann 10, Len 10, and Bruno 10. Shawn and Derek can't believe it. I don't even know. It was good, I guess? It's hard to judge a dance you've never seen before.
Apolo and Karina have a big top jazz number. You know, that jazz that they dance under the big top? What, that's a thing. Isn't it? Anyway, Apolo is also struggling in rehearsals this week. He's exhausted and he hits bottom (literally) when he tries to do some sort of jump and nuts himself on Karina's stomach. Ouch. Anyway, this dance is some kind of mess. I don't even know what's happening. They're dressed up like clown mimes? When they are dancing side by side in sync, it's good. But any time they go into hold, it's just ugly. And I don't think it's Apolo's fault; I think the choreography is just bad. And they're not really selling it. It's a flop, for me.
Judges? Carrie Ann loved the concept and what they were going for, but she felt it was disjointed, and they were out of sync a lot. She just felt like it didn't all come together. Len thought there were a few awkward moments, but Apolo is a fighter and he gave it everything he had. Bruno thought it was edgy and surreal and he thinks what Carrie Ann thought was disjointed was actually proper jazz movement. Scores: Carrie Ann 8.5, Len 9, and Bruno 9.5. Look, maybe I'm like Carrie Ann and I just didn't get it, and Bruno's right. But it felt wrong.
Emmitt and Cheryl have the espionage Lindy Hop, and Cheryl claims that she's never seen dance styles mixed like this. Cheryl tries to get Emmitt to act like a cartoon, and he struggles with that. Their story is that Cheryl is trying to steal the Mirror Ball trophy and they're dancing to "Secret Agent Man." I have to say, Cheryl did a genius job choreographing this one. The storyline is clear from the start, and every move plays into the story that Emmitt's the good guy and Cheryl is the bad guy. They do get badly out of sync on their first turn, but the rest seems pretty good. I think Emmitt could have sold it a bit more, but the stunts were appropriate and fit both the dance and the theme. Solid.
Judges? Len liked the concept, energy, lifts, and fun, but he would have liked a little more Lindy in there. Bruno is crying from laughing and calls it a Looney Tunes version of James Bond. I think that's exactly what Cheryl was going for. Carrie Ann thought it was the most animated that Emmitt's ever been, pun intended. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9, and Bruno 9.
Val and Kelly have the surfer flamenco, and it causes some friction in rehearsals as Kelly struggles to get the moves. That seems like a recurring theme this week. So the first two thirds of their dance is straight flamenco and it is great, but I'm wondering where the surfer part comes in. And then for the last third, they stand on some water and do their moves with the water splashing around. It looks amazing, but I can't help but feel that they kind of cheated - all of their moves were just flamenco, and the other teams took the challenge of adding more to their routines. It was a really intense flamenco, though. And Val ending up in a Speedo didn't hurt.
Judges? Bruno tells Kelly that she was upstaged by the Speedo, and then adds seriously that she had a lot of fire and intensity, but the placement of the arms wasn't there. Carrie Ann agrees that it was all paso and there wasn't much flamenco, and I agree. Len says that they went all in on this dance, and it had verve and attack, and their energy was fantastic. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 9, and Bruno 8.5. That seems fair since it was a good dance but it wasn't the dance they were assigned.
Melissa and Tony have the Argentine tango, and Melissa is glad to have a chance to take out her frustrations. They are dancing to "Dirty Diana," as we've now entered the Michael Jackson portion of the evening. Okay, I do NOT know how Tony did that routine with a bad back. He was carrying Melissa or lifting her for like three quarters of the routine, and the lifts were flawless. Not a missed step. Amazing. That said, I thought Melissa's posture was a little weird and I can't put my finger on it. It's like she didn't have any hip action or her butt was tucked under? It just didn't look right. But the lifts were incredible. After the dance, they are overcome with emotion.
Judges? Len says he would be disappointed if they don't make it to the finals week. Bruno thought the sequence of lifts was extraordinary, and they exceeded all expectations. Carrie Ann thought it was beyond anything she could have imagined, and the lifts were out of this world. Scores: Carrie Ann 10, Len 10, and Bruno 10. Another perfect score.
Shawn and Derek have the Argentine tango as well, and Derek is feeling the pressure to put together a great dance to get Shawn through to the finals. Shawn's roll-in package talks about how, the first time she competed, she was coming off an Olympic gold. But this time, she's coming off a failed comeback attempt, and has learned that she can't be the best at the thing she was always the best at. That's a harsh lesson to learn before you're twenty years old. Anyway, their Argentine tango has a ton of really difficult choreography. It doesn't have the spectacular lifts that Melissa and Tony did, but it is smooth and sharp. And the lifts they do fit in well with the routine and don't feel tacked on for the wow factor. I think I actually liked this routine as a whole better. The only piece that was slightly lacking for me was the emotion; I didn't get that push/pull hate fuck vibe.
Judges? Bruno thought it was brilliant, and loved the shapes and the styles, and it was equally brilliant to Melissa and Tony's in a different way. Carrie Ann thought every line was perfect, and she felt Shawn lacked the passion and intimacy. I agree with Carrie Ann. Bruno argues the point and Len gets stuck in the middle. Len thought that Shawn learned the routine and she also sold it. I still agree with Carrie Ann. Shawn felt too much in her head. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 10, and Bruno 10.
Apolo and Karina have the rumba this week. Apolo explains that being on this show is an incredible physical and emotional challenge, and he knows that if he wants to get into the finals, this rumba has to be performed at a level he has not yet achieved. I'm astonished that Apolo is dancing this well and might not make the finals. I never think of him as a favorite, and yet he is a great technical dancer. His shapes and lines were beautiful and he finished every movement. But I wouldn't be sad or surprised if he doesn't make the finals. This is a crazy season.
Judges? Carrie Ann says that you don't need to overdance in this competition if you bring the proper emotion to your routine. Len thought there was wave after wave of effortless motion and there was a calmness that captivated. Bruno thought Apolo nailed it, because it was perfectly pitched between sensuality and romance. I'm really happy for Apolo. And yet...he's not my pick to win. Scores: Carrie Ann 10, Len 10, and Bruno 10.
Emmitt and Cheryl have the tango this week. During rehearsals, Emmitt gets frustrated because Emmitt thinks Cheryl doesn't know what she wants him to do, and she tries to explain that she's trying to figure out how to make it work. She knows that she needs to push him if they're going to make the finals, and Emmitt gets that too, but they're both frustrated. Well, I will say that Emmitt did a great job of translating that frustration into the barely restrained fury of the tango. I think it's a shame that Emmitt's last semifinal dance couldn't have been something more fun or something that would have allowed his charisma to show. He did well but he's technically not as good as Apolo, who I think is his real competition at this point.
Judges? Len thinks that they had the biggest challenge of all the couples because they weren't allowed to do lifts and the dances didn't play to Emmitt's strengths, but he did a great job. Bruno loves the predatory power, but thought the footwork could have been more intact. Carrie Ann thought Emmitt pushed himself many notches higher, but the technique wasn't quite there. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9, and Bruno 9.
You guys, Kelly and Val have the rumba and I'm a little worried that they're going to have sex right there on the dance floor. Then there's a whole roll-in package about how Kelly has intimacy issues. Hmm. That routine wasn't nearly as sexy as I expected. I don't know if Val was trying to tone it down a bit or if Kelly was afraid to let go, but it was beautifully danced. But I didn't feel the sexual tension. I felt it more in their flamenco than in this one. About halfway through the routine, there was a moment, but the whole first half felt sort of flat for me.
Judges? Bruno thought it was smoldering (really?) and Kelly performed like she never has before. Carrie Ann thought it was beautiful and stylish. Len loved the control and the emotion, and he thought it had great dynamics in terms of tempo. Scores: Carrie Ann 9.5, Len 9.5, and Bruno 9.5. Val starts laughing, probably because if they were ever going to get a 10, that was the time. And based on the comments, I don't understand why they didn't get any.
It's a double elimination tomorrow night, and anyone could go. The scores are pretty close. I would love to see Shawn, Melissa, and maybe Apolo in the finals, but I think it's really between Shawn and Melissa. If one of them gets eliminated tomorrow night, I'll be disappointed. Your leaderboard:
Shawn and Derek: 30 + 29 = 59
Melissa and Tony: 27.5 + 30 = 57.5
Apolo and Karina: 27 + 30 = 57
Emmitt and Cheryl: 27 + 27 = 54
Kelly and Val: 25.5 + 28.5 = 54