Wow, is someone finally going to get kicked off tonight? Feels like forever since we've had an elimination. Anyway, Tom and Brooke welcome us back and go right into the encore dance, which is Apolo and Karina's Viennese waltz. Now that I'm not all distracted by the hurricane, maybe I will appreciate this more than I did last night. Oh, right. This is the "she's dying of cancer" one. Not my jam. Schmaltzy. I mean, "Live Like You Were Dying" came out the year my mom died, and I used to cry every time I heard it, but I'm older and more jaded now. That said, this dance is really magical. The turns are much more awesome.
There's a lot of business for Tom to relay. There will be no results show week since we'll all be watching the national results show: it's election night. The original plan was to have an elimination at the end of Monday night's show, based on the judges' scores from that night and the audience votes from last night, but they scotched that since audience voting was affected negatively by the hurricane. So I guess we'll have another two-week period with no elimination. They'll have to have another double elimination at this rate, or we'll still be watching this season after Christmas!
Anyway, time for some results. Kelly and Val just seem checked out, don't they? Like their dancing is still good, but they either seem too cool for school or just over it. I don't get what's going on with them. Emmitt and Cheryl were disappointed that Emmitt's fun solo didn't help them move up the leaderboard at all, and they begged the audience to save them. Brooke explains that they're going to tell couples their fate in reverse order of something and I don't know what she's talking about. I think she said that they're going to go up the leaderboard, starting from the bottom, and reveal fates. Except then she goes to Emmitt and Cheryl first, and they weren't in last place, so what the fudge. Who knows? Anyway, Emmitt and Cheryl are safe despite getting their lowest score ever. And Kelly and Val are safe too! Tom reiterates that the couples that the judges scored the lowest are definitely coming back. Eesh, I've got a bad feeling about this.
Jason Mraz and his stupid hat are there to perform. Does he have a ponytail? Seriously? Anyway, Mark and Chelsie are there to dance barefoot. This sounds like a ripoff of a Damien Rice song. Anyway, Mark and Chelsie do a lot of reaching out and rolling around on the floor. Just not my favorite style of dancing.
Brooke is backstage with Kelly, Sabrina, and Shawn and their partners. Kelly admits that she thought they might be going home but she's grateful to their fans. Brooke reminds Sabrina that this is the week she went home on her original season, and wonders if she's nervous now. Sabrina is like, "What do you think, bitch?" but nicer. Derek reveals that there's something wrong with the vertebrae in his neck, and he plans to step out week and let Mark take over for him. They both seem really bummed. Brooke can't figure out who's supposed to stay with her and who's supposed to go get results, but they finally get it sorted.
Derek suddenly has a Southern accent after wearing a cowboy hat, and he lets Len know that he's taking their low scores personally. Gilles admits that he felt awkward during his solo; it showed. Bruno couldn't keep from exclaiming over Kirstie's dancing. Kirstie was shocked over her good scores and she cried AGAIN.
Tom is ready to give results for Shawn and Derek, Gilles and Peta, and Kirstie and Maks. Shawn and Derek are safe. Boo! I like them, but I don't want to see Mark dance again week. Tom reminds Gilles that he's the highest-scoring star of the season, but he was third from the bottom this week. But he's safe. And Kirstie and Maks are safe too. Whoa. I really hope it's not Sabrina. Poor thing.
Clip package about how intense and stressful things are this season. Here's a summary: they're stressful. And intense.
Dance number that rips off Madonna's performance of Vogue from the VMAs (I think?) where everyone dressed in powdered wigs and hoop skirts. Remember that? That was awesome. This is...not.
Tom asks Len about week's fusion dances. Len explains that it'll be really tough because they will get one piece of music and have to do two different dances. The pros are all freaked out and confused, based on their interviews from last night. Tom reveals the dance combinations on a big screen and then explains that they'll be assigning them to one another. Here's the rundown:
Melissa and Tony: tango/cha cha from Kirstie and Maks
Gilles and Peta: Argentine tango/samba from Kelly and Val
Sabrina and Louis: tango/foxtrot from Emmitt and Cheryl
Kirstie and Maks: quickstep/samba from Apolo and Karina (Maks's ex-fiance, ooooh!)
Shawn and Derek: tango/paso doble from Melissa and Tony
Emmitt and Cheryl: rumba/samba from Derek and Shawn
Kelly and Val: cha cha/foxtrot from Sabrina and Louis
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Apolo and Karina: cha cha/paso from Gilles and Peta
Taylor Swift is here to sing about one of her ex-boyfriends. She's really off-key most of the time. It only sounds good when her backup singers join her. I think I'm about twenty years too old to get Taylor Swift. I think she's awful and I'm sick of her high-waisted pants. When she stops singing, Tom tries to banter with her but she doesn't get his Sean Connery reference.
Apolo and Karina were thrilled with their scores. Len loved Melissa's solo. Sabrina let her emotions show through her dancing and was rewarded with a perfect score, and the other dancers gave her big hugs afterwards. She and Louis were both in tears after the routine.
Tom points out that the top three scoring couples are standing on stage, and one of them is going home tonight. So will it be Apolo and Karina, Melissa and Tony, or Louis and Sabrina? I'll tell you who it won't be: Melissa and Tony. Tom points out that the remaining two couples are not necessarily the bottom two, but they both got perfect scores last night and one of them is going home anyway. And that couple is...Sabrina and Louis. Oh, that's awful. Poor girl. She was the best dancer in the competition.
Sabrina is incredibly gracious in defeat, as she says how grateful she was to get a second chance, and she loves Louis, and the experience has been a dream. I'm seriously bummed and I normally don't give a rat's ass about who gets eliminated. Boo.
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