The show opens with a performance from the troupe plus a couple of spare pros. I spotted Anna in there anyway.
We're getting right into eliminations, with the typical review of last night's performances first. Bristol needed Mark to talk her all the way through the dance and the judges didn't think she made any mistakes. That's not a very high bar to set. Kelly might have been on drugs. I can't explain her demeanor otherwise. Either that or she and Val just did it, because she was acting like Angeline Jolie that time she walked the red carpet after doing Billy Bob in the limo. Sabrina and Louis showed the crowd some of their moves to get some crowd participation going, and it worked. Bruno thought Shawn was a sexy vixen and Mark gave Shawn a big hug after her routine. Hope Bristol didn't get jealous!
Time to tell those four stars where they stand (Sabrina, Kelly, Bristol, and Shawn). Tom tells Shawn and Derek that they're safe. Of course. Then after a commercial, Tom and Brooke do that weird thing they started last week where they announce results while standing to the couples. Sabrina and Kelly are safe, and Bristol is in jeopardy. THANK GOD! If Sabrina or Shawn went home before Kelly, I would have to kill someone. Or just grumble angrily on my couch.
Carson Kressley is on hand to give us a backstage tour. We get to see Kelly icing her broken toe, Gilles getting his bronzer applied, and Max showing off his knickers. And then we get to see Carson's reactions during the live show. It was fine for filler, I guess.
A lovely young lady is on hand to sing "Titanium" and I only know this song because I saw Pitch Perfect this weekend (which you should go see because it is amazing). The Legion of Extraordinary Dancers performs with umbrellas. Props are tough, especially when you're trying to do something in sync. The routine ends with the single female dancer standing under a streetlamp where it's snowing. I expected Mr. Tumnus to wander out and offer her some tea. Yeah, I just made a Narnia reference. Deal with it.
Brooke is backstage with Emmitt, Apolo, and Gilles. She asks Emmitt what song he'll dance to for guilty pleasure week, and he says it will be "Copacabana." I hope we get to see that. Apolo makes a joke about Karina's "improv breakdance moves." Gilles says that his guilty pleasure is "I Will Always Love You," because his martial arts buddies would laugh at him. Maks is doing something behind the scenes that causes everyone to crack up. I feel like this cast really enjoys one another.
More results! Emmitt and Cheryl were happy with their performance, to say the least. Gilles should wear eyeliner every week if you ask me. The dancers in the skybox were cheering for him; I think everyone likes Gilles. They show Karina's wipeout from every possible angle, and man that could have been even worse than it was. She really could've gotten hurt. Apolo has a really good attitude about it, though.
So who is safe? Gilles is obviously safe. All those 10s? He's not going anywhere. Emmitt is also safe, which means that Apolo and Karina are in jeopardy. The audience boos.
Cheryl is leading a troupe in a mambo group routine to a song played by Tito Puente Jr. At least I think it's a mambo. Oh, now I think it's a mix of various Latin dances. It's nice to watch, regardless.
And even more results! Things are trucking right along this week. Melissa and Tony had a slight screwup on one of their lifts, and they were upset about it because they nailed it in rehearsals. Bruno told Kirstie that she's crazy. Maks and Kirstie joke that they finally got a thirty, even if it took an extra judge to get there. Maks hasn't been bugging me as much this season. I think Kirstie realizes that she's outclassed, talent-wise, and is just happy to be along for the ride.
So who's safe? Melissa and Tony. But Kirstie and Maks are in jeopardy. Kirstie has a giggle fit when she hears the results.
Donny Osmond has somehow hooked up with Susan Boyle, and they are on hand to sing together. That actually seems about right. Tristan and Kym are on hand to dance during this song. I don't want to denigrate Susan Boyle but she doesn't look well. And she seems incredibly nervous. And her voice doesn't sound that great. But you know what? She's up there, and I'm not, so who am I to judge?
week, there will be a team freestyle dance. And they'll be picking the teams live. The leaders are worried about making decisions quickly, and people like Kirstie and Bristol are worried about being picked last while also acknowledging that it could happen. Kirstie is also worried about having to learn two dances in one week. She's got a lot of worries.
So Gilles and Peta are leading one team, and they pick "Gangnam Style" for their song. Shawn and Derek are leading the other, and they pick "Call Me Maybe." Aw, why pick such contemporary songs that are already kind of old?
Anyway, Gilles picks (in this order) Kelly and Val, Kirstie and Maks, and Emmitt and Cheryl. Shawn picks Sabrina and Louis, Melissa and Tony, and Apolo and Karina. Since Bristol and Mark didn't get picked, they will be filling in for whichever team loses a couple to elimination unless they go home themselves. That's fair. I was kind of wondering why they were picking teams before elimination.
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So Bristol, Kirstie, and Apolo line up to find out who's going home. Tom immediately says that Apolo and Karina are safe, so it's down to the two that should, by all right, both be going home if you ask me. But only one can be eliminated, and that couple is...Bristol and Mark. Well, it's about time. I feel like the judges knew she was on the precipice and decided to be kind to her in her last week. Or they were nice to her so that people wouldn't vote for her in a backlash. Anyway, Bristol says that she's really happy to make it as far as she did. Then there's a clip package. My dislike is Bristol is well documented, but I will allow that she was waaaaaay better in this incarnation than the first time around, and she didn't bother me nearly as much. But she's just...not a great dancer. So I'm glad she's going home.
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