This is the week where shit gets real because the couples only have a week to prepare their routine, as they will for the rest of the season. Previously, they had a few weeks to learn two routines, but now the pressure is on and we'll see who can actually dance and who just benefited from the extra rehearsal time. So that's exciting. What I don't love is the "personal story" week, because it's always a story about someone who died or some sort of triumph or whatever and it just feels manipulative. Can't they just dance?
Tom and Brooke welcome us and the couples walk down the stairs. Every season, I wait for someone to take a huge spill on those stairs, and it never happens. There have been brief stumbles, but I want someone to go ass over teakettle. Not to get hurt, but just for the LOLs.
Jack Wagner and Anna are up first. In rehearsals, Jack says that his most memorable year was last year, 2011, because some random woman showed up backstage at one of his concerts and revealed that she was his daughter. What? Are we going to find out why he didn't know he had a daughter? Or did he know but not know where she was? Who is the mother? There is so much information missing from this story. Instead, it's just like "random young woman shows up, tells me she's my daughter, so now she's part of my family." Is she a grifter? Is Angelica Houston involved? Anyway, as a result, Jack wants to dance to one of his own songs (ugh) from last year (ugh twice).
They are doing the samba, and Jack starts out standing on the judges' desk with a guitar. Yuck. Anyway, he has good hip action but he is still overdancing in sections, and he seems too much up in his head. And he's also not connecting the moves together, and he's got bad posture. This is a mediocre routine. It's not terrible but it's not great, and I fear it might be the best that he can do.
Judges? Len liked the rhythm in his hips although his posture wasn't great. All in all, he thinks it was Jack's best dance so far. Bruno thought Jack's timing was much better, although he has to be careful with the placement. Carrie Ann thinks his moves are clean and neat, and she wants to see more. Clean and neat? I thought it was kind of sloppy, but what do I know? Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8 and Bruno 8. Overscored by about three points total.
Maria and Derek are up . Maria says that her most memorable year was 1988, when she was 10. Her parents were immigrants who worked as janitors in nightclubs, and she admires how hard her parents worked. When she went to work with her parents (because they couldn't afford a sitter), she would always play "Material Girl" on the jukebox, so that's what they're dancing to. Except it's a rumba (really?) and she's having trouble getting into the sexy role.
Oh, it's a slowed-down version of the song. Now the rumba makes more sense. Holy shit, that was really hot. And the dancing wasn't bad either. Her legs weren't always great -- not enough bending at the knee for proper hip action. But there was some serious sexual tension and that makes up for a lot of minor flaws. The dancing by Maria was ten times better than last week -- very graceful and fluid. I don't know if this routine suited her better or if her injuries were bothering her more than she claimed last week.
Tom admits that he almost forgot to come down and finish the routine because he was so enthralled by the dance. Bruno says that she was a goddess of love and fertility, and he's impressed that she danced the whole routine without a beat in the song, because there were no drums. Hey, I didn't notice that! It was just piano and voice. Carrie Ann compliments Maria's maturity and fluidity, and says it was breathtaking. Len thought it was a mix of the ballroom and the bedroom, but it had "smoldering intensity" although Maria seemed a tad hesitant on occasion. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9 and Bruno 9. I think if it were a more difficult routine, it would have gotten 10s.
Tristan and Gladys got lower scores last week, but Gladys says that she doesn't mind because she's been taking critiques her whole life. She tells Tristan that the most memorable year of her life was 1957, because that was her first tour with the Pips. She was only 13! And she learned from all of the legends like Sam Cooke, James Brown and many others.
They are doing the foxtrot to "Cupid" by Sam Cooke. I love this song because my dad used to sing it while he was shaving. I think Gladys needs to get back to the Latin dances, because while she is very graceful in the ballroom dances, they don't let her show off her sass and spirit, and that's her strength. Like, this is pretty and well done but it seems like Tristan is piloting her around the floor like a ship, or someone's grandma. I mean, it's nice, and there are no obvious mistakes in technique, but it's all a bit slow and careful.
Judges? Carrie Ann thinks her frame was much improved and that she dances like she sings. Len says that he's the same age as Gladys, but he knows how much work it takes for her to learn the routines and come out. She improved her frame and had good flow this week. Bruno thinks Gladys is graceful and has beautifully fluid arms. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8 and Bruno 8. Hmm, as with Jack, I think that was a little too high for week three.
Roshon and Chelsie are dancing to a Jackson Five song, which can't possibly be from Roshon's most memorable year, because they broke up long before he was born. Anyway, his most memorable year was 1996, because he saw Michael in concert. I feel like they are cheating. Anyway, Chelsie gets Michael's choreographer to come in and show them how to incorporate Michael's moves through the years, which is really amazing. I think this might be Roshon's samba to shine, even if they are kind of cheating the year.
They are dancing to "I Want You Back" which is definitely not from 1996. Roshons' legs are all over the place, just kind of flying. He doesn't have the strength in his legs to do these moves. He does really well for a few beats and then he just goes crazy and his arms and legs and feet are flying all over the place. He's got the rhythm and the dance skills to do these routines but Chelsie needs to rein him in to like 60 percent power and focus on controlled movements.
Judges? Len liked the exuberance and flair, but he wanted more traditional samba. Bruno thought Michael Jackson would love it, and he thinks Roshon looks just like Michael. No, he doesn't, Bruno. Just stop it. Carrie Ann thought it was a great tribute to Michael, but some of the MJ moves threw him out of timing. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8 and Bruno 9. Way overscored. Am I just grouchy tonight or are the judges a little too loose with the paddles?
Gavin and Karina came close to leaving last week. Gavin chose Billy Joel's "New York State of Mind," because after he saw Billy Joel in concert, Gavin realized that he wanted to be a musician. And his family always supported that dream. And in rehearsals, Gavin's not wearing his hat and his hair is totally normal! Maybe a slightly receding hairline but I was imagining something so much worse. They start their rumba with Gavin playing the piano and Karina sitting on top. I have to say Gavin is a lot more graceful than he's been in past weeks, and he's showing a lot of power and strength in his holds. That's what Roshon needs to work on. I'm actually impressed! He even has hip action. It wasn't as good as Maria's rumba, but it was way better than anything else he's done thus far.
Judges? Bruno is shocked that Gavin has hips and he can move them. He was also impressed with his arm extension, and he just needs to work on his turns. Carrie Ann agrees about the turns, but her heart is fluttering because Gavin was sensual and tender. Len thought he had great attention to detail, and he's progressing every week. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8 and Bruno 8. Now those scores were deserved.
Katherine and Mark got high scores last week for their jive. Her most memorable year was 1996, because that's the year she found out her father had lung cancer. She was only 15 and her father quickly slipped into a coma but she did get a chance to say goodbye before he died. They're dancing to a Josh Groban song that reminds her of her father. Is she going to just sob when she's supposed to be dancing? That's what I would do. She's probably better at pushing down her emotions in order to perform than I would be, though.
I mean, her waltz is beautiful. It's flawless. They look like two professionals out there. My only problem is that it's kind of boring. It's the same way I felt about Kristi Yamaguchi when she was on; she's so good that there's no edge or element of danger, because you know she's going to be perfect.
Carrie Ann is sobbing and Katherine is sobbing and they're talking about her dad and what are you going to do with that? Len thought it was beautiful and he yells at Mark for not doing enough of the routine in hold, which is totally Mark's fault. Bruno thought it was sensational. Scores: Carrie Ann 10, Len 9 and Bruno 10. Exactly.
Sherri's most memorable moment was when her son was delivered at 25 weeks. Wow, that's early. WOW. When I was pregnant with twins, I did a lot of Googling to find out what would happen if I delivered early and that's really early. Anyway, Sherri's son does not have cerebral palsy and isn't paralyzed, so she knows it could have been much worse. Sherri struggles in rehearsals and her son comes in to cheer her up. Will it help?
So Sherri's rumba is weird because I can't stop looking at her bizarre facial expression. She's looking up to Heaven with a pained look on her face for the first half. I think she thinks it's sexy but it's really not. And then Val must whisper something to her because suddenly she's smiling and changing up her face, but then it's back to "I have a splinter in my big toe." Aside from her face, her arms are very graceful, but I think she's a little too stiff through the midsection. It was just average for me.
Judges? Len loved Sherri's emotion and he compliments Val's choreography. Bruno thought it was deeply felt and well-expressed. Carrie Ann thinks Sherri is true to herself and she had great lines tonight. None of the judges really said a ton about how great her dancing was, because it wasn't that great. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8 and Bruno 8. Is that their baseline tonight? I guess she was about as good as Jack.
Melissa was just happy to make it through her quickstep last week because she slipped and nearly fell. So her most memorable year was last year when she was recovering from back surgery and using a walker. So they're doing the jive to "Dog Days Are Over." This is a very fast song in the fast parts. Melissa isn't doing great with the kicks and flicks. She's too stiff in her back and ankles. Which I guess makes sense, given her surgery. Her arms and legs are very graceful and she doesn't have enough joint flexibility or something. That said, she puts a lot of gusto into it, and doesn't seem tentative like she has previously.
Judges? Bruno thought their opening sequence was great and the ending was great too. Carrie Ann loved how she just let go. Len thinks Melissa has finally entered the competition. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8 and Bruno 8. I guess that's just the default score this week.
Jaleel and Kym have the rumba this week, and he says that the most memorable year of his life was the year that he played Stefon Urquelle instead of Steve Urkel. There was a rumor going around online today that Jaleel threw a tantrum in rehearsals this week and stomped out, so I'm totally looking for any hints that Kym is pissed at him. I'm not seeing it. Jaleel always surprises me with how smooth his movements are and how light he is on his feet. It seems like he's barely touching the floor.
Judges? Carrie Ann thinks that Jaleel is back in the game, and he glided through the rumba. Len thought it was confident, and while he had great rhythm, he needs to work on being less stiff in his arms. Bruno thought it was cool and smooth, although Len was right about the lack of fluidity in the arms. Backstage, Jaleel starts sobbing because he loves entertaining people and what the fuck is he going on about? What in the hell was that? Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 8 and Bruno 8. Hmm. I thought it should have been a point or two higher.
William and Cheryl talk about how William emigrated from Cuba because his stepfather was a political prisoner, and he couldn't believe the riches that America had to offer. He will be doing the salsa. And he's obviously great. He looks like he's been doing the salsa in people's living rooms since he was a kid. The only problem is that, because he obviously knows this dance, some of the details are a little sloppy. His feet aren't always right and his posture isn't always great, because in someone's living room, that doesn't matter. That said, he looks like a total natural out there and for the first time looks like he's really dancing instead of doing a routine. And it's full of difficult content.
Judges? Len says that he conquered the salsa. Bruno makes William come closer and then acts disappointed when he only gets a handshake. Is that judging? Carrie Ann says that she wants to go to Cuba? Did you hear the part about how they only got to eat a crust of bread each day? That was kind of culturally insensitive. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9 and Bruno 10. Really, Bruno? That was perfect? Ugh. I hate the judges sometimes.
The final couple of the night is Donald and Peta, and they have the rumba. Donald chose 2010 as the most memorable year of his life because his best friend died from cancer. It's a very touching story, but I always think it's a little weird to do such a sexy dance when you're talking about your best friend or your dad or whatever. Whenever there's a ton of fog on the floor (as there is now), I always think the pro is trying to hide bad footwork. Donald needs to stop licking his legs. He's got good hip action and you can see the emotion in his face, but his feet do look a bit iffy.
Judges? Carrie Ann loves the passion that he brought to the floor, and a few small details can be overlooked. Len is impressed that such a big hunk of a man can show such vulnerability. Bruno recognized how difficult the content was and Donald didn't shirk from the challenge. Once he's backstage, Donald can't even talk to Brooke because he's so emotional. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 8 and Bruno 9.
Everyone involved with the show seems really impressed with the competitors this season, and they are good, but there's some dead weight. All of those people tied at 24 points need to go before the finals, and the order doesn't really matter. Here are your scores:
Katherine and Mark: 29
William and Cheryl: 28
Maria and Derek: 27
Donald and Peta: 26
Roshon and Chelsie: 25
Jaleel and Kym: 25
Jack and Anna: 24
Gladys and Tristan: 24
Gavin and Karina: 24
Sherri and Val: 24
Melissa and Maks: 24