Last night, everyone had to do three dances and between the stress and the injury, JR plunged to the bottom half of the leaderboard, barely ahead of Hope. HOPE! Rob did awesome last night, so he is back to reprise his samba, rainbow float and all. You know what I like about Rob? His arm placement is usually really good. He doesn't just fling his arms about (Hope). He puts his arms in a spot with purpose and it makes his whole dance look much sharper. The samba rolls are still awful, but he does the whole routine with such joy and confidence that it's fun to watch.
Backstage watch with Rob and Cheryl. After their samba, Rob was shocked to get a 10 since he heard that the samba was one of the hardest dances to do. Immediately after their tango, Rob was already critiquing his own performance. And then he got first in the cha cha relay, and as the show closed, JR made a point of complimenting Rob because JR is a good person. So are Rob and Cheryl safe and headed for the finals week? Of course they are. Come on.
Cobra Starship is on hand to perform their new song which I've either heard before (unlikely) or it sounds like a bunch of other songs (likely). Tristan and Kym are dancing along with... two other people that I don't recognize. Tristan is pretty good at contemporary dancing. Mark and Derek had better watch out. Actually, Mark had better watch out. I haven't missed him AT ALL since he got eliminated. In fact, I forgot he existed until just now when I thought he might be one of the male dancers for a second.
Ugh, I really don't want to see more about Hope and Maks. God, Hope is just such a bad dancer. I think she's getting worse. In her confessional after the paso doble, she tells the judges to kiss her booty. She is the worst. I love how the reel of their tango highlights shows how terrible they were at getting in and out of holds, which is exactly what Carrie Ann pointed out. Look, the judges aren't always right. I don't think there's a grand conspiracy, but I have felt that they consistently underscored certain dancers in the past. But Hope is NOT GOOD! And the things the judges are saying are TRUE. I don't know how she developed this adversarial relationship with the judges, but if she would have listened to them in past weeks, she might be better now. Hope continues to mouth off in her confessionals, and Len and Carrie Ann discuss how Maks was making comments behind Hope's head (which he was) and how they were pretty nice to Hope, all things considered. It's true! Even if you think Carrie Ann was wrong about the lifts, she said it in a nice and constructive way. If they do make it through to the round, they will most likely be doing lifts, and they need to work on the awkward mounts and dismounts, or not do them at all. They have got to go this week because I can't take another week of the blatant disrespect for the judges and the show. Look, it's not a great show. It's fluff. But if you're going to be on it, you kind of have to buy into the concept and go with it. You can't be on the show and also be too cool for the show. Mark hasn't figured that out yet either. Anyway, they're in jeopardy, to no one's surprise. And Hope acts like she's psyched about it. Man, I wish the person holding a gun to her head and making her stay on the show would leave her alone.
Brooke interviews Ricki and JR with their partners backstage. Ricki says the whole experience has been a rollercoaster ride and she's happy to be there. JR says that his ankle is doing better and if he gets to stay on the show, he's ready for four dance week.
Filler package of Carson in the wardrobe department. It's vaguely amusing. I feel like it could have been either funnier or more informative.
Derek and Anna are doing the Design-A-Dance: a paso doble to "Bad Romance". So great to see Anna getting some love from the public. And so glad that Derek was the choice instead of Maks or Mark. Anyway, the routine is seriously amazing. It's a paso Gaga, keeping the traditional moves but incorporating some Little Monster stuff. And Anna does such a fantastic job with the character of the dance. She looks like a little monster coming after Derek, who is trying to both elude and kill her at the same time. Great.
Time to be inspired! Kenny Wormald, Julianne's co-star in Footloose went to The Gold School, a dance school in Massachusetts. We get to hear the stories of some of the other boys who went to the school, and were often teased and bullied for being male dancers. Those boys are on hand tonight to dance with some of the female pros. And you know, the routine is fine but it's more about the fact that those stupid bullies are home watching this and feeling like dicks.
Tom and Gonzo (you know, purple guy, big nose) are on hand to introduce a song from The Muppets. Kermit, Miss Piggy, Swedish Chef, Beaker, Scooter, Animal, Sam the Eagle, Fozzie, and Professor Honeydew are all on hand. Oh, and Rowlf. And some new Muppet that I don't know. And then a bunch of humans are also dancing. I doesn't make me want to see the movie but I bet people who are watching with their kids are happy it's not another raunchy pro dance.
Backstage with Ricki. During their samba, Derek was still really talking Ricki through the dance. I don't know if she needs it at this point, or if that's just his habit. But if she does still need it, they are in trouble week. As Derek was waiting to start the tango, Bruno and Len told him not to mess it up. Oh don't worry about his concentration of anything. Derek was talking her through that one too.
And what about JR now? He was elevating and icing his ankle right before his paso doble. And then he twisted it again before his paso, so he got it rewrapped and iced more before the tango. I'm still mystified as to what went wrong with his posture. It couldn't have all been his ankle. He botched the last lift and that's why he was so disappointed in himself, I guess? It's so rare to see JR down. It makes me sad.
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So who's through and who's in jeopardy? Ricki and Derek are going to the finals and JR and Karina are still in jeopardy.
So now it's down to JR and Karina or Hope and Maks. If Hope and Maks make it to the finals, I am going to riot. Seriously, call 911 because I am going to Occupy My Living Room. It will be tent city up in here. Ain't no court orders going to evict me. Get to it, Bergeron. My blood pressure is rising. And thank GODFULLY, Hope and Maks are going home. I don't even want to hear their stupid speeches. Hope doesn't thank Maks at first. Maks does thank her and the fans. Neither of them thank the judges. Good. Don't let the door hit you and Maks, you don't need to come back season. You used to be my favorite. Look at your choices. Look at your life.
See you week. The finals!
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