By Kim
Christina Aguilera is back to perform "Beautiful." Y'all, I cried the first time I saw this video. I mean, I'm over it now. But anyone who felt insecure about his or her looks at any point, or was bullied or teased, has got to feel something upon hearing this song. And I think that's just about everyone. Now I feel bad that I said Christina has put on weight. I'm sorry, girl. A passel of sign language interpreters comes out to sign along with the song for a while. That always kind of bugs me, because I feel like it's treating a legitimate language like a novelty. They also dance. Also, all of her dancers are pretty conventionally attractive, which I think kind of goes against the message of the song, although I guess it would be tough to find professional dancers who aren't conventionally attractive. Some of them have funky haircuts, so there's that.
So then I nearly have a heart attack because my ABC station blacks out in the middle of a commercial break, and I imagine that I'm going to miss the ending. But it comes back right as the finalists are being reintroduced. Whew! Clip package of the judges talking about the finalists. They say that Jennifer is old and broken down, but doesn't show it. People like Bristol because she's "the girl door," and then, eventually, she wowed the judges with her growth. Not like a tumor. Her growth as a dancer. Kyle has become a man on the show, and his energy is contagious. So anyone could win!
Kyle and Lacey are first to do their instant cha cha. This is way better than redoing the routine they did previously. So much more energy. Once they finish, Derek and Jennifer take the floor. It's interesting to see how the different couples interpret the song. Lacey and Kyle keyed into the lyrics a lot, while Jennifer and Derek do a much more traditional routine, but extremely well done. Bristol and Mark come out last, and of course, it features Bristol shimmying her shoulders a lot, since that's her signature move. This might be the best Bristol danced all season. She's putting some emotion into it other than anger. It's really repetitive, but she's into it and having fun. Why couldn't she do this before? I don't get her. Expect to see a lot of instant dances season, because the ones they did this season were by far the best routines. All six of them go out and take a final bow.
So then my stupid local affiliate cuts into the show with a local news promo by accident and then comes back with no HD signal, but I missed what the judges said. And then as they go backstage, they cut to a commercial for laser hair removal. WTF is going on, y'all? They cut back just in time for the scores. Kyle and Lacey are first: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9 and Bruno 10. Brooke asks a dumb question and Kyle is clearly in "I just graduated mode" and says that he had fun and he would love for Lacey to win a trophy. Jennifer and Derek: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9 and Bruno 10. Brooke asks Jennifer a dumb question about what she will miss most, and Jennifer says that she'll miss dancing. Derek gives a media-perfect answer about the journey. Bristol and Mark's scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9, and Bruno 9. So they got one less than the rest, but I doubt it matters at this point. Bristol says that she had a blast this season. Could've fooled me.
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