By Kim
It's rock and roll night! Well, let's be honest. How rock and roll can this show really be? It's got to be the cheesiest show on television. Maybe The Bachelor is cheesier, but only because of the most dramatic rose ceremony ever. This show is like when Donny Osmond does a cover version of "Magic Carpet Ride." Not all that rocking. They really went all out, though, with a rock version of the theme song and a new logo on the judges' table.
First, they are counting down the top ten dances of all time. I know that a lot of people were upset because it was a closed competition; not every dance ever done on the show was offered as an option on the vote. Anyway, the dance at number ten is Mark and Shawn's freestyle. It doesn't seem as impressive to me this time around; I don't know if the dancing is better in recent seasons, or if I was blinded by the excitement of the finale. I still think it was a really unflattering outfit for Shawn though. That moves right into number nine, Donny and Kym's tango. Really, America? I guess a lot of people really like Donny Osmond. Number eight is Helio and Julianne's quickstep, the one that's like The Mask with the yellow banana suit. I can't believe Helio won that season. But I will say this; that routine had a ton of content. He might not have been the best dancer, but if you compare how much actual dancing he did to, say, Donny's tango, he put it all out there. Number seven is Apolo and Julianne's freestyle. I really didn't love this at the time, but in retrospect, it was pretty awesome. Again, Apolo just had a ton of natural dancing ability and they did a lot of moves.
So are they just going to reveal the entire top ten before any dancing starts? I guess this is the filler for the week. Number six is Derek and Joanna's futuristic paso doble. Oh, this routine makes me laugh. It's FROM THE FUTURE! They are doing little pop-up factoids during the routines, and it makes me think that I would love a dancer's commentary on some of these routines. That could be a whole show -- relive the best dances and have the dancers talking over them, pointing things out or giving background info. I smell a network special!