It's been ten weeks. And it's the finals. It's our last chance to vote for the champion who will win the ridiculous mirrorball trophy. I would actually like this show to be a little MORE over the top. Like I get that Tom doesn't take himself that seriously, and I'm sure the editors are snickering when they open the show with a dramatic score, but there are people who probably take it totally at face value.
Is it... I think... Brooke isn't wearing a bandage dress! What? WHAT? Are we in a flash-sideways universe that turns out to actually be... wait, I wouldn't spoil that for you. I mean, it's not a spoiler, but if you haven't watched the Lost finale yet, the last place you would think you would have to worry would be this weecap, so forget it. Anyway, Brooke definitely is wearing a Bumpit or some kind of crazy hairpiece. They introduce the final three couples. I think Nicole is actually just wearing lingerie. Tom and Brooke introduce the order of the evening - first, each couple will do a "redemption dance," a routine chosen by the judges, because they think the couple should have done better at it the first time around. And then there are the freestyles, which are always somehow disappointing, aren't they?
Erin and Maks are up first, and in their rehearsals this week, they were visited by Bruno. He is there to help them with their samba, and he tells Erin that she can win, but she needs to believe it. Bruno gives her some very specific physical tricks to try, and when she does, he yells out, "Look at the ass! Look at the ass!" Bruno! This is a family show. I am actually kind of surprised that got through in the 8:00 hour. Maybe I misheard him? Anyway, Erin realizes that this is the finals and she needs to suck it up and stop feeling sorry for herself.
How does this translate to their samba? Well, they start out with some business where Maks pretends he's going to take his vest off (he's barely wearing a shirt in the first place) and Erin stops him. Save it for the freestyle, sister. You're supposed to be showing how you've improved in this one. The actual dance is good, and Erin looks like she's actually having fun but I would like to see them dancing together more, instead of just a bunch of set pieces. They finish with Erin dancing by Bruno while Maks dances by Carrie Ann and then they both kiss Len. Less crap, more dancing. What a waste. This was their last dance before the freestyle! Time to show that Erin has learned technique. She could totally persuade people to vote for her by using the "I've improved the most and that's what this show is about" gambit. Boo. I mean, it was good, but it should have been way better. They get a standing ovation anyway.
As she waits for the judges, Erin is really emotional. Len says that they are being more critical because it's the finals. He saw a lot of improvement over her samba. Bruno mumbles something I don't understand but he liked it. Carrie Ann thought she moved up three notches in her dancing performance and technique, and she got the fun part of the dance this time. Scores: Carrie Ann 10, Len 10, and Bruno 9. Whoa. I really am shocked by those scores, but good for them. They need that if Erin wants to compete with Evan and Nicole.
Evan is up , and he's redoing his Viennese waltz to try to improve their chemistry. Len comes to their rehearsal and demonstrates to Evan how to connect with his partner instead of just going from move to move. Wow, that was a short clip package. Evan looks nervous as their waltz begins to "Piano Man" by Billy Joel. You know, that old romantic tune. It was my first dance song at my wedding. About old alcoholics and wasted youth. Because I'm classy like that. Jay slash kay, it was actually "Let's Get It On." I'm surprised that Evan redid this one, but I guess it's not about what he didn't do well, but instead what the judges felt he could do better. As usual, his lines are great and his feet look better than usual. There is definitely more of a connection than previously, but some of that might be just that they know each other better now. The audience gives them another standing ovation.
Bruno liked the fluidity and lyricism, and thought they were good in hold. Most importantly, they had a connection. Carrie Ann thinks he fixed all the problems that he had last time around and then some. Len has a small criticism that I don't understand, and like one audience member boos and they act like the whole audience turned on him. Scores: Carrie Ann 10, Len 9, and Bruno 9. Hmm, I thought Bruno would give them a 10. Evan is happy with the start for the night, but he's sad that the competition is almost over.
Tom shares that Nicole has scored the most cumulative points of any star at this point in the competition. Way to help people set aside that ringer talk, Tom. Anyway, the judges have given her the rumba to redo and Carrie Ann visits their rehearsal to discuss and offer critique. She reminds us that Nicole was so nervous when they did the rumba before that she didn't connect to the routine. Derek interviews that Carrie Ann gave Nicole permission to let herself go and not worry so much about technique. And I think that's part of why the viewing audience hasn't totally connected with Nicole; she seems like she's doing steps instead of dancing. The routine starts and it's very beautiful, intimate, and sexy. I sort of feel like I'm watching something I shouldn't at times! And some of the moves that Nicole does -- I don't even understand how a body goes that way.
Carrie Ann tells Nicole that she's so great that the only way she could improve was to be vulnerable, and it worked. Carrie Ann saw a lift at the end, which I thought was a spontaneous expression of joy that the dance was good, not part of the routine. Derek argue that it didn't happen until the song was over, but Carrie Ann promises that she watched very specifically and saw that it started before the song ended, and was thus part of the routine. Again, if they would define exactly what a lift is and what is and isn't allowed, these stupid arguments could be resolved. And also explain why Carrie Ann is the lift police. Gah. Anyway, Len loved the choreography but thought he still saw a slight lack of confidence in Nicole. Bruno thought it had "extreme beauty" and was "superlative." I'm sure it won't matter in the end -- they might not have a perfect score, but it will be high enough. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9, and Bruno 10. Derek apologizes again to Carrie Ann for the lift.
Tom introduces the second half of the show, the freestyle round. Erin and Maks are up first. In rehearsals, Maks suggests that they do something different to separate themselves from the competition. Instead of doing hip hop or jazz, they decide to do "lyrical contemporary" and Maks brings in choreographer Mandy Moore (not the singer) (Sadly) (though she was just on Grey's so she's been busy) (and isn't she married to Ryan Adams? Okay, I'm done) to help them.
So they dance to "Alone" by Heart (can anyone hear this song anymore without thinking about Carrie Underwood? Just me?) and there's a mattress on the floor. I'm not a huge fan of this routine. I love the raw emotion, but to me, it kind of just seems like walking around, and then throwing each other on the mattress, and then stunts. The stunts are impressive, for sure. But there's not a whole lot of dance, if you ask me. I think fans of this couple will like this routine, let's stay that. Also, I think they are totally doing it.
Len agrees that freestyle is a risk and reward, and he liked parts of it, but he didn't love it. Bruno thought she put her heart and soul into it, and some of the steps were incredible. Carrie Ann thought it was the perfect choice, and she loved how Maks tried a new kind of dancing to make his partner looked good. Carrie Ann saw one stumble on a bed spin, and Maks says it wasn't the bed they rehearsed in. I know what he meant, but everyone is like, "OOOOOOOOHHHH!" Grow up, people. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 8, and Bruno 9. They look disappointed. Also, Maks may have broken his nose.
Evan and Anna want their freestyle to be their best dance of the season. Anna starts working on the choreography but Evan protests that it's too Broadway, and starts offering up his own suggestions. That he's just making up as he goes along. And frankly, sound like some of the choreography my friends and I used to do when we'd make up routines to the Grease soundtrack in fifth grade after watching the inspirational twofer of Solid Gold and Dance Fever with Deney Terrio and Motion, who like Dawn (of "Tony Orlando and" fame), were two women with one name. Those of you born after 1975 are so confused right now. Anyway. Evan basically tells Anna that her style isn't going to work, and he kind of shoots down her choreography skills. She seems pissed, and Evan doesn't seem to get it. After he leaves to go skate, Anna starts crying and admits that she's scared and freaked out about the pressure. Then they do the lame commercial break in the middle of the package, like when Tony quit on Kate, as if we think Evan and Anna are just going to forfeit the freestyle round. Anyway, the solution was to bring in choreographer Bobby Newberry to help them.
So after all that drama, how is their freestyle to "Footloose"? Evan opens with a HUGE leap off the stage. It's much like the huge leap Jack did on Lost last night. You know the one. It's sort of a jive, and they actually do dance steps instead of Evan throwing her around. I mean, he does that too, but there's dancing in between. I like it. And they have a great connection in this one. I don't love it because Evan looks super dorky and kind of wild, but a hip hop dance by Evan would have been horrible.
Bruno tells Evan that he was jumping around and so excited that he lost a little of the precision. Carrie Ann thought it was odd, because they seemed to be dancing two different dances. Len thought they compromised, and neither of them are doing the dance they wanted to do. What exactly did the judges want? I bet that will play better at home than it did for the judges. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8, and Bruno 8. Evan gives his usual diplomatic response to the scores while Anna looks disappointed.
And Nicole and Derek are last, and you know they are going to get a perfect score. Between Nicole's skill and Derek's choreography, they will be awesome. Derek says that they're doing some lifts that he's never tried before, and he's nervous. Nicole wants everyone to dance along. Fat chance of that, sister. Anyway, they both start out in sequined tuxedos and dance to "A Little Less Conversation" by Elvis. It's sort of a combination of jive and swing and quickstep and a billion other dances, I guess? I'm not digging it. You know what? Every season, I'm surprised that I don't like freestyles, and yet every season, I don't like the freestyles. I'm too lazy to look back through my recaps, but I can't think of one that I really loved. I always thought Drew and Cheryl's "Save a Horse" freestyle was way overrated, and that's the one people usually point to as the gold standard. I watch this show to see ballroom dancing. Back to the routine, just as I'm thinking that it's a waste of Nicole's smoking body to cover it up like this, they rip off their suits to showcase much less clothing, but it takes up way too much time. And then their final lift goes horribly wrong. Derek pulls it off, but it's not good and that's the final impression. I would say that theirs was definitely the most difficult, and they did a good job of the first four/fifths of it. Nicole is clearly really disappointed that they screwed the pooch at the end.
Tom has to drag them over to heard the judges' critiques as Nicole and Derek try to catch their breath. Carrie Ann says it was the freestyle they've been waiting there, despite the slip on the last lift. Len saw a combination of many different dances and he thought it was fantastic. Bruno thought it was dazzling creativity and technically superb, and blames their slip on the level of difficulty. Backstage, Derek and Nicole show their lift as it was supposed to go. Nicole can barely breathe as Brooke asks her why she didn't dance hip hop, since that's what people probably expected, and Nicole says that she loves the show and wanted to show off what she's learned. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9, and Bruno 9. They all had to take a point off for the dodgy lift, obviously.
I don't know what the hell is happening tomorrow night, but they are apparently doing two more dances? We'll see what happens. Here are the scores:
Erin and Maks: 29 + 26 = 55
Nicole and Derek: 28 + 27 = 55
Evan and Anna: 28 + 24 = 52
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