Before the big 100th episode extravaganza, the judges are going to present their top 10 dances in the show's history, so here we go! We've only been covering this show for one and a half seasons before this one, so I'll link to the original weecap for the routines we have covered previously.
Oh, apparently they can only choose from routines that got perfect 30s, so that narrows it down a bit and might (MIGHT!) stop some of the controversy over which routines got chosen for this...honor? I guess?
Carrie Ann introduces No. 10, which is from the only female champion the show has produced thus far, Kelly Monaco. They chose her freestyle routine with her partner Alec. It's interesting to see the changes in the show over the years -- it's in HD now, for one. But also, Kelly is...not that great. She doesn't do a lot of the facial acting that the pros and celebrities do these days, and Alec kind of drops her at the end. That got a perfect score? Man, talk about the bar being lowered. I guess in the first season, when there were fewer contestants to start with, things weren't that tough. All I remember from the first season is being disappointed when Joey McIntyre got eliminated. I loved him. In addition to the routine, we also get to see what the judges said about it. Overall, eh.
Bruno introduces the routine, and reminds us of the shocking early elimination of Sabrina, and the No. 9 routine is Sabrina and Mark's paso doble. Man, I thought they put Marissa in unflattering dresses -- Sabrina's long purple gown was really terrible. The dancing is great though. I think Sabrina might have been better than Kristi; she's definitely better in the emoting department. In retrospect, it was a better routine that I thought on first viewing, and No. 9 seems about right.
Len gets to talk about No. 8, as he admits that Emmitt Smith wasn't always perfect, but he always had a lot of charisma, and now we're going to see his cha cha cha with Cheryl to "Dance to the Music." I always felt Emmitt, like Jason Taylor, benefits from good song choices. How can you listen to this song and not be happy. Emmitt's posture is worse than I remembered, and you can sometimes see him counting in his head, but he just looks like he's having so much fun out there, and it's infectious. It's kind of a treat for me to see these routines again, because I didn't have an HDTV until this season. There really is a huge difference. In the confessional, Emmitt says that he loves bringing joy to people, and they hope to make everyone in the audience feel like they want to get out on the dance floor and join in. Mission accomplished.
Man, it's tough to be snarky when you're only watching the best routines. Anyway, Bruno introduces the No. 7 routine, which is Apolo and Julianne's quickstep. I love the quickstep; it's my favorite of all the routines, and I'm noticing that now that Julianne's gone, I really miss her choreography this season. I know some people think it's too tricksy and not traditional enough, but at least it's always interesting to watch. Anyway, this routine reminds me of how much better men tend to look on the dance floor when they are tiny and wee, like Apolo, Drew, Helio, and Emmitt. I mean, Emmitt's not skinny or anything, but he is relatively short compared to the likes of Penn Jillette, Adam Carolla, and Jason Taylor. Even Cristian is over six feet.
Bruno introduces No. 6, a jive by Joey and Kym in which he claims that Joey took control of the room. Maybe you had to be in the studio to feel the electricity, but I didn't really feel it. To me, it felt like Joey mugging all over the place like he always does. His kicks were nice and sharp, but I just don't enjoy the corniness of all of his routines, and this is no exception. This is the first routine that I felt like might be a little high.
Len says that no list would be complete without Helio, wearing his banana yellow outfit and dancing the quickstep with Julianne. So there's your No. 5. This is an awesome routine, but it's hilarious that both of Julianne's appearances were with the quickstep. Who knew Julianne was a quickstep expert? It's kind of interesting to contrast this effort with Apolo's, which I think was better, despite being ranked lower. This is a much bouncier quickstep, whereas Apolo's was more fluid and with the rhythm of the music. This is the routine that famously ended with Helio dipping Julianne and then kissing her, which I don't think was part of the choreography, since they didn't do it when they did the encore the night. My theory is that Helio had a crush on Julianne, and she didn't return his feelings, so when he snuck that kiss, she had to have a talk with him. But that's just me making things up as usual.
Carrie Ann introduces what she calls "the iconic dance of the show," so I knew immediately that it would be Drew and Cheryl's freestyle from season 2 at No. 4. I liked Drew during his season, but I think this routine is overrated. Drew's a great dancer, and he didn't get to do much dancing in this routine, because it just went from trick to trick. Cheryl looks weird with the dark black hair too. Some of the tricks look kind of awkward in the transitions too. I guess I just never got what the big deal was about this routine. I guess in Season 2, it was exciting, but nowadays, it doesn't really compare to some of the routines we've already seen in this special. Plus, I think about the rumors about Drew and Cheryl and it kind of grosses me out. But at the time, the audience and the judges both loved, loved, loved it.
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Bruno gets to talk about No. 3, a kind of surprise entry with Stacy Keibler doing her samba with Tony. I barely remember Stacy, to be honest. I'll say this though; she's one of the few celebrities who can share outfits with Edyta, because she's got the bod. She's very graceful but she suffers from Lisa Rinna disease where her legs move about as if independent of her body. Also, Tony looks like a completely different person, and I can't figure out what it is. His hair was short and spiky, which was a good look for him, but even something about his face looks different. Did he have some work done? Or has he just aged that much? The only other notable thing about this routine was that Bruno got to unleash his "weapon of mass seduction" line, which I think he's used again since then.
Carrie Ann gets the honor of introducing No. 2, which is Mel and Maks doing the paso doble. This is my second time watching it tonight for weecapping purposes, and I just stopped what I was doing and watched the whole thing again. It was that good. I really miss them. I liked their Viennese waltz better overall, but this routine really captured how electrifying they were together. I still can't believe they didn't win. That was some bullshit, right there.
Hmm. All of the past winners have been represented, right? Kelly, Drew, Emmitt, Apolo, and Helio. Let's pretend that thing with John O'Hurley never happened. So will one dancer get two routines or will they go with a non-winner? I do find it interesting that No. 3 and No. 2 both came from non-winners. So let's find out.
Len gets to announce that the No. 1 dance is...Mario and Karina's tango. Really? REALLY? I could buy it in the top ten, but in the top slot? This is going to really cause some debate. Maybe I just feel that way because I kind of hated Mario Lopez, and still kind of do. It is interesting to watch from a gossip perspective, since these two ended up coming out as a couple after their season ended, sort of. They sometimes deny it and sometimes confirm it, depending on their moods, I guess. I was out of the room when they came back from break, and when I first walked in and looked at the screen, I thought the female dancer was the celebrity and Mario was the pro, so I guess that's something. The footwork is quite good, but I guess I will take more excitement and stunts over technical skill, because I am a dumb American. The top three were all non-winners too. So anyway, that's the judges' top 10, whether you agree or disagree. Now on to the big 100th episode. See you on the flip side.
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