Some of the light has gone out of the show for me since Adam left. Like, I totally forgot the show was on tonight until my husband asked me about it. Maybe they'll bring Kenny Mayne back just to boost my downtrodden spirits. But it's the halfway point of the competition, which is illustrated by the special effect editors making it look like Adam was blown off the stage on his unicycle, which was actually kind of cool to see. This week is Latin week, so the couple will be doing either the samba or the rumba, and they'll be doing it LIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
Wow, the stars are really pulling out all the stops. Cheryl is barely wearing any clothes, and both Karina and Shannon seem to have doubled down on the Mystic Tan. Shannon is about the same color as Jason Taylor, if that helps give you a visual. Possibly darker. Also, they just panned across the audience and I think I saw an Elvis impersonator. I wonder what Priscilla's official stance on Elvis impersonators is? Maybe we'll find out tonight! Priscilla is going for a smoky eye look tonight, but she looks sort of...bruised. Not like a shiner, but like a piece of fruit that you dropped on the floor.
First up tonight are Mario and Karina. Mario took a beating from the judges last week, so he needed an ego boost. So he worked even harder on his dance, right? Oh, no. He went to visit Stevie Wonder. You know, whenever I'm facing a troubling dilemma in my life, I ask myself, "What would Stevie Wonder do?" Like should I write and record a pop song with a bossa nova beat that names off all the holidays on the calendar? Stevie would! Should I braid my hair and start wearing dashikis everywhere? Stevie would! What color should I paint my living room? Oh, I guess Stevie can't really help me with that one. Fortunately, he can help Mario get his confidence back through the power of the pep talk.
So now it's time for Mario and Karina to samba to one of my favorite jazz songs, the Ella Fitzgerald version of "A Tisket, A Tasket." It is an awesome song and the house band is just massacring it. Bitches. Karina also looks like Big Bird is attached to her ass. The routine is good, but there's no intensity or elation or whatever to it, and I think Mario screws up the steps at one point. His hip action is good and his lines are smooth. But what do the judges think? Len thinks he needs to work on his footwork, but it was his best dance so far. Bruno thought it was a classic samba, and he loved it. Carrie Ann thought Mario did a clean routine, and it was smooth. Backstage, Samantha asks more nonsense questions with predictable answers. I'll report if anything interesting happens there, but go ahead and assume, not so much. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9, and Bruno 9 for a total of 27 out of 30.
Last week, Priscilla got penalized for her lift. She thought their bottom two finish was a wake-up call to up her game. In rehearsals, Louis tutored her on the rumba, including leg and arm placement. Can I just say that Priscilla looks incredible, for any age? I would kill for her figure. Anyway, she gets frustrated with Louis's teaching style, but they manage to pull it together.
They begin their rumba, which I didn't realize was quite this slow. The beginning has a strange lack of intent -- it feels sort of aimless and more like they are walking around not quite in time to the music. And then Priscilla totally does a split, like what's up with that? The rest of the routine is nice until they get to their final pose, which I can't really explain. It somehow involves Louis spreading his feet apart and Priscilla bracing against him while one of her legs is up in the air, so she's like a capital F, and he's like a capital A. Sort of. Anyway, Priscilla looks totally tentative on this move, which makes me wonder if one of them is injured or if they screwed it up in rehearsal or if something went wrong. Anyway, I didn't think it was their best routine.
Bruno thinks that Priscilla always does a good job playing her role, but the slow speed of the rumba exposed a lot of her faults. Carrie Ann thinks she was in her head too much instead of flowing. Len says he was disappointed, and he thought it was too careful and lacked spontaneity. People can't believe how harsh Len was, and the other judges start arguing with him for being too much of a stickler on the heel leads and whatnot. So how does that translate into scores? Carrie Ann 7, Len 7, and Bruno 7 for a total of 21 out of 30. Priscilla thought the scores would be lower, so she's pleased.
Last week, Marissa finally got good scores from the judges. She reports that it made her want to work harder this week, while learning the samba. Marissa says that she's learned that this dance is all about shaking her butt, and she's moving her body in ways she never has before. While Tony is trying to teach her the moves, she looks confused. And then she puts on the samba headdress, which is about five feet of feathers. Somehow, she claims, it helps.
Marissa starts the samba with a lot of shaking and shimmying and doesn't really let up. Her footwork seems better than usual to me, although I still don't think the costumers know how to dress her body. I also think she might faint from lack of breathing when she finishes. Carrie Ann thinks it was her best routine by far. Len liked the mixture of steps and the choreography, and he thinks she needs to work on moving her hips as much as her shoulders. Bruno compares Marissa to a beach ball, which is sort of unfortunate, but he mostly says nice things so hopefully she didn't hear that part. Scores are Carrie Ann 8, Len 8, and Bruno 8, and Marissa is happy.
Cheryl and Cristian start rehearsing the rumba. At first, Cristian has trouble learning how to make his moves look masculine. Then, he has trouble with acting romantic towards Cheryl, because he normally treats her like a sister. This leads to a fantasy sequence where Cristian imagines being in a telenovela with Cheryl, and while this is dumb, it's better than going to Sea World. The dance itself is okay, but I think I just don't get the rumba. It doesn't seem to have distinctive moves like the other dances, or if it does, I don't know what they are. Len thinks it was a competent rumba and when the audience boos, he adds that it wasn't "gruesome." Well, that's damning with faint praise: "No one was killed by your dance, so that's good." Len admits that it's a difficult dance. Bruno thinks they have great chemistry, but that (as with Priscilla), the walking around the floor can showcase flaws in the movement. Carrie Ann was surprised that it wasn't erotic. Can she say that on a family show? Cristian adds that he couldn't get too sexy on a prime time network show. I mean, really -- did she think he was going to grab Cheryl's boobs or something? Cheryl's barely wearing any clothes as it is. Anyway, it's time for scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 8, and Bruno 8, for a total of 23 out of 30. Backstage, Christian seems pissed off and annoyed. I think that's part of his problem; he just seems too intense. I've heard and seen him interviewed elsewhere and he seems funny and easygoing so I don't know what happens when he's on the dance floor.
Marlee and Fabian managed to make Carrie Ann cry last week, through the majesty of their dancing. This week, Marlee and Fabian went to Mexico to fit children with hearing aids. I'm kind of surprised to see Marlee getting into that, since there are such political ramifications to hearing aids in the Deaf community. As my husband, whose sister is Deaf just said, "Aw, now those kids are not broken anymore. Thank God they're now normal human beings." Anyway, Marlee and Fabian have some trouble in rehearsal, as every couple does every week, until it's time for their samba. Marlee seems to have a little more trouble with this routine, at least in the beginning. She's off and seems to almost trip over her feet a few times. Marlee has this weird facial expression she's making that is different than I've ever seen her do before -- I think she's going for a sexy growl, but it looks more like a grimace. This was not their best.
Bruno starts with a compliment, but then adds that Marlee lost the timing and had a few stumbles along the way. Carrie Ann noticed that Marlee slipped a few times, and she appreciates that Marlee stayed with it when she could have given up. Len thinks that the samba is the most difficult of all the Latin dances, and finds Marlee inspirational. Backstage, Marlee looks like she's almost in tears. She explains that rehearsals were tough for her, and she's proud that she managed the samba, because it was the hardest dance for her. Her scores are Carrie Ann 7, Len 7, and Bruno 8 or a total of 22 out of 30.
Mark and Kristi need to live up to expectations, and as they go into rehearsals, Mark repeats that oft-quoted chestnut about the rumba being "the vertical expression of a horizontal desire." I understand it's family hour and all, but can't he just say it's about sex? I hate that horizontal/vertical saying. Kristi finds the whole thing awkward, because she's a married mom with two young kids, so she's not allowed to be sexy. Her words, not mine. Kristi suggests that they come up with alter egos so she can really let go and be sexy. You know what else would help her be sexual? If her little girls paid a surprise visit, along with her husband. That's a weird decision. Anyway, her girls are adorable, and they hop and twirl around the studio while Kristi dances sexy with her partner in front of her husband and the whole thing is kind of creeping me out. Bad call, production assistant that got this footage.
Kristi and Mark start their rumba. I can't take Mark seriously when he is dressed entirely in lavender. Right down to the shoes. And then I was going to say that they did a corny, clichéd move where Mark took a clip out of Kristi's hair, and she shook out her hair, but you know what? It kind of worked. Somehow, Kristi was able to be sexy. I don't find Mark attractive at all -- he looks like a nerdy little boy to me (no e-mail, haters, just my opinion!) but Kristi really did it for me in this routine. And of course, it was technically perfect, as all her routines are.
Carrie Ann was shocked at the amount of emotion Kristi put out there, and adds that Kristi gave up some of her technical moves for that emotion, but it was the right call. Len has only three words: "Fab-u-lous." Bruno thinks she was "Kristi Yum-A-Licious" tonight, and calls her "a South Pacific pearl." What is he even talking about? Do you think he knows? Backstage, Kristi says that getting her husband's approval really allowed her to let go. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 10, and Bruno 10 for a total of 29 out of 30.
Tom reports that Derek was taken to the hospital earlier today with food poisoning, but he's going to dance tonight anyway. Man, Derek is having a rough season. In rehearsal for the samba, Shannon feels really awkward (and kind of looks like a giraffe). Then there's a whole segment where they insist that they are really close friends, which is weird given the whole showmance thing they were pushing last week. ["Admittedly it's gotta be kinda hard to feel romantic to someone when they are puking and/or in pain." -- Angel]
Derek and Shannon start their routine, and what I Derek pooped his pants on live television. Sorry, he' swearing brown pants and I had to go there. Because it could happen! Shannon is super dark skinned, as mentioned earlier, and she's wearing a skimpy orange dress and I don't like her hair. She is not nearly as good as Marissa at shaking her hips and shoulders either. It's especially noticeable because Derek is really good at it. The whole routine is kind of boring, even though Derek is working his ass off to make it more interesting. Shannon's just not there as far as shimmying.
When the dance ends, Shannon is exhausted. She seriously needs to work on that stamina. It should be better by now. Len tells her that it wasn't good enough, because there wasn't as much hip action. Bruno tells her that she needs to "shake those maracas" and that she missed some moves. Carrie Ann tells her that she admires Shannon's ability to go balls out even if she looks like a baby giraffe. Well, she doesn't use those words, but that's what she means. I know a lot of people don't like Carrie Ann but she's kind of my Simon; even when she's wackadoo, I tend to agree with her assessment. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8, and Bruno 7 for a total of 23. Eh, people will feel bad for pukey Derek and Baby Giraffe and send them through.
Jason and Edyta are the final couple of the night, and Tom wonders if they can match Kristi's score again this week. No pressure! Do you feel like the judges just gave Jason such a high score because they want to make it look like Kristi isn't just running away with this thing? Just me? Anyway, in rehearsals, Jason has trouble with the hip movements required for the rumba. Jason has a lot of laughs in rehearsals at Edyta's crazy moves, like where she has one foot on the floor and the other on Jason's shoulder. Edyta thinks that Jason needs more confidence, and Jason says that it helps that Edyta believes in him.
The rumba begins with Edyta walking around and...ooh, they're dancing to "You're All I Need to Get by," which is a great song choice. Jason's hip movements are better than either Marlee's or Shannon's. I don't know what that means, but it looks good. He's still got great lines too. They weirdly cut to Len in the middle of the routine, and he's like grinning crazily. Edyta throws in a couple of her contortionist's moves and it all adds up to a great routine. And Jason didn't even look at his feet that much.
Bruno wonders how Jason can be so big and so light, and he loved the hip action. Carrie Ann thought the chemistry was off the hook, and that it was fantastic. Len likes the naturalness of Jason's moves, but he's not a fan of Edyta's poses where Jason does nothing. I agree with that -- Jason's a good dancer, so why not let him do it! Ooh, and Tom announces the group dance coming up, which is my favorite, because I always hope people will run into each other. So the scores are: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9, and Bruno 9. Hmm. I thought this was way better than last week. Maybe I just loved the song more.
So that standings are:
Kristi and Mark: 29
Mario and Karina: 27
Jason and Edyta: 27
Marissa and Tony: 24
Christian and Cheryl: 23
Derek and Shannon: 23
Marlee and Fabian: 22
Priscilla and Louis: 21
My prediction for tomorrow night's evictee? Priscilla and Louis. I think people will cut Marlee and Shannon some slack despite their low scores. I'm going on vacation so there'll be a sub for tomorrow night's results show -- see you guys week!