Tom reminds us that two couples were eliminated week, and he actually makes a joke about the remaining couples having "the mirror balls" to perform a dance they learned in only five days. Tom! This is a family show! And you have to watch your mouth because it's LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
Ooh, Samantha is wearing a really pretty dress in sort of a rusty orange color. It's different from the jewel tones she usually favors that look like something I could have worn to my prom in 1990. As they introduce the couples, I'm shocked by the fact that Julianne is wearing a short Louise Brooks style bob wig. I was like, "Who is Adam with? Did he kill Julianne? Did she finally flip over to the dark side and cut off all her hair and dye it?"
First up this week are Marlee and Fabian. Marlee got great scores and great feedback from the judges last week. She says that she and Fabian have the same sense of humor, and Fabian adds that when it comes down to it, they both stop joking around and learn the moves. Thankfully, their clip package this week didn't focus on Marlee being deaf. It's time for their jive, set to "You May Be Right" by Billy Joel. There's a lot about it that's impressive, especially the parts where Marlee is out in front of Fabian doing small kicks, and manages to stay on beat the whole time. Overall, the dance feels a little flat to me though, and if they are truly judging her the same as everyone else, I have to say that there was something missing. I'm sure the judges will pinpoint what it was. I didn't feel the energy and joy that Marlee normally brings to the dance, and I don't know if it was because she felt less sure of her routine, having only a few days to learn it, or what. Also, her outfit does her figure no favors -- she actually looks kind of thick in the middle, when past weeks' outfits have made her look anything but.
I think I just saw Jeff Probst in the audience. I know he's a pal of Adam's and a poker buddy of Shannon Elizabeth's, so maybe that's why he's there, although he's sitting in Marlee's fan section. I would love to see him on this show. Wearing his choker. Anyway, judges? Len thinks Marlee was amazing and sharp. Bruno also liked it, although he thought she lost the timing here and there. Carrie Ann likes Marlee and Fabian's chemistry and Marlee's ability to connect with the audience, but thinks she needs to start looking at the details, like her hand positions. Backstage, Samantha remembers not to stick the mike in Marlee's face this week. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 7, and Bruno 7 for a total of 21.
up: The Gute and Anna. Last week, Bruno told him to work more on his content and less on his facial expressions. During rehearsal, Anna was too sick to rehearse, so Steve practiced with her husband, Jonathan. Watching the footage of the two men dancing kind of makes me wish they would have a same-sex dancing couple on this show. I don't know how Disney would feel about that. Steve and Anna begin their tango. Anna looks very beautiful in her red dress. Their dance looks pretty good to me -- Steve's footwork and posture seem decent and he keeps a serious facial expression the whole time. It's not great or anything, but it's better.
As Steve prepares to face the judges, he puts on goggles and a helmet because he thinks the judges will shell him. Oh, Steve. Leave the comedy to the comedians. Carrie Ann thinks it was his best routine so far, but he needs a bit more content. Len liked his footwork and thought it was much improved. Bruno liked that it was "manly." Not exactly gushing with praise. Backstage, Samantha asks Steve about dancing with Jonathan and Steve says, "He was hairy and I enjoyed dancing with him." Huh? I...guess? I'm not sure what being hairy has to do with the dancing. Time for the scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 7, and Bruno 7 for a total of 21. Steve promises the audience that all of the dances tonight are great, since he's seen them all rehearse. I appreciate that he toned down the "saving the world through the majesty of dance" stuff from last week.
Christian and Cheryl are up with their jive. Last week, Christian was one of the last ones revealed to be safe. In rehearsal, Christian keeps doubting Cheryl and getting mad at himself. So she...takes him to SeaWorld? To dance with a sea lion? Of course she does! I mean, wouldn't you? Anyway, something about the experience teaches Christian that he needs to have fun if he wants to win. I don't know. Why are Cheryl's rehearsal tactics always the dumbest? I realize the dancer probably doesn't come up with them, but hers are always corny as hell. I think Christian needs to be both hunky and self-deprecating to win over the voters, and I don't know that this was it. Anyway, to the jive! Christian's face looks a little maniacal with the smile and everything and he's kind of freaking me out with the intensity. Christian gets a little off beat in the middle, but they end with some really cool moves involving sliding on the floor in between each other's legs, and even though Christian ends up too far off the floor and bumps one of the lights, the audience is impressed.
But what about the judges? Bruno thinks that everyone had a good time during that dance, and Christian also delivered. Len thinks Christian's legs could have been sharper, but it was also the best he's done so far. Carrie Ann thinks Christian has a good shot at winning because he shows so much improvement from week to week. She tries to offer criticism about his free arm but Bruno shouts over her so we can't hear what she says. What about the scores? Carrie Ann 8, Len 8, and Bruno 9 for a total of 25. Cheryl and Christian are THRILLED! Christian even kisses the camera. Samantha reminds them that it's Christian's best score as well as the best score of the night thus far.
Mario and Karina are the to dance. Mario says that he and Karina had to travel together so he could promote his album while learning the new routine. We see footage of them rehearsing all over the country, including a lot of footage of them rehearsing in airports, which I totally don't get. Anyway. I'm not sure what's up with Mario's outfit or his facial hair this week - he's got sort of an Abe Lincoln thing. Which I later realize is fake, so why? And you know who he looks like with that chin-strap beard? David from Real World: New Orleans. They should have danced to "Come On Be My Baby Tonight." You know you remember that song. But instead, they're dancing to the version of "Roxanne" from Moulin Rouge. The turns are very sharp but his posture is not great. And for two people that the gossip columnists claim are making out all over town, they don't have much chemistry.
Len starts out by saying that he thought this was a disappointment. Carrie Ann thinks Mario's style is what sets him apart and it was lacking this week. Bruno didn't think it was all that bad, but he thought it was dramatic and strong. He also thinks Mario can do better. So how does that translate into scores? Carrie Ann 7, Len 6, and Bruno 8 for a total of 21. Mario, like Christian, gives props to Bruno for the higher score. Mario vows to focus on rehearsal more if people can vote to keep him in this week.
Last week, Shannon was pleased with her improvement. In rehearsal, Shannon worries that her long legs don't allow for any mistakes in footwork, because it's so noticeable. Derek takes Shannon into the kickboxing ring to show her how to flick her feet in the kicks. Their jive begins to Adam Ant's "Goodie Two Shoes" and it just feels really slow and long, even though Shannon's footwork is good. I think a good rule of thumb when picking a song is to take a slow song and speed it up instead of taking a fast song and slowing it down.
As the dance ends, Shannon has to sit down to get her breath, and Tom and Derek sit down with her. Bruno likes how she went for it, and suggests that she work on her precision. Len knows that there's no bluffing on the dance floor, and he thought Shannon turned in a good jive. Carrie Ann likes that Shannon surprised them and she's fun to watch. Tom cracks that there's so much heavy breathing going on, he feels like he's sitting to a 900 number. That's why Tom gets the big bucks -- he can crack a joke like that off the cuff. Can you imagine Samantha cracking that joke without the help of a teleprompter? What about the scores? Carrie Ann 8, Len 8, and Bruno 8 for a total of 24. Backstage, Shannon says that, despite last week's breakthrough, she did not feel more confident this week and she's glad it's over.
Last week, the judges enjoyed the comedy of Adam's mambo but admitted it wasn't quite a mambo. This week, Adam has five days to learn the tango. Throughout rehearsals, Adam laments that he's going to let Julianne down because he's not that good, and Julianne says that she's glad Adam is serious about the dance but she wants to keep Adam's comedy flavor in the routine. So somehow that translated to Julianne donning an auburn wig? The tango begins, and Adam's posture is not great, but his footwork looks pretty good to me and the audience likes it.
Before hearing the judges, Adam thinks that Julianne's wig and covered-up outfit are the work of some gay men in wardrobe and requests some skimpier numbers week. Judges? Carrie Ann can't believe she's saying this but she thinks that Adam was quite sexy, though the technique wasn't quite there. Bruno thinks Adam has the attitude and he's improving. Len points out what we've all been saying for seasons - that Julianne's choreography covers a multitude of sins. I think Adam has gone from being a joke to being a dancer. Not a good one, but he actually danced in that routine, and Julianne is doing better at choreographing to show off his height. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 7, and Bruno 7 for a total of 21. It's Adam's best score yet, but he thinks Julianne might be disappointed. She assures him that she's proud of his improvement. Adam makes a whole series of jokes about how his grandfather always told him the best person to teach you about an Argentinean dance about prostitutes is a Mormon. Samantha laughs and tries to change the subject and then Adam pretends that he thought Julianne was Jewish. Samantha and Julianne are both too dumb to come up with a funny remark so they fall back on asking people to vote.
Marissa and Tony are doing the jive, and you know this because they dressed '50s style. Tony looks super nerdy in an argyle vest and Marissa's hair is more poodle-y than ever. In rehearsal, Tony tries to tell jokes, but they are so horrible that Marissa just laughs at his reputation as the bad boy of the ballroom. She points out that you don't have to be that bad, relatively speaking. I ask my husband how old he thinks Marissa acts, and he says, "Like a twelve-year-old on Pixie Stix." And then he guesses that she's twenty-five. When I tell him that she's thirty-five, he just sits there in stunned silence for a while. I think I broke him. Anyway, on to the jive! They dance to Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" and it seems like Marissa misses a few steps in there. She's so pigeon-toed that it screws her up sometimes. And I think she has a banana clip in her hair. Anyway, it seems kind of low energy and like she's too much in her head or something.
Judges? Len thinks it was well-done but too careful. Marissa looks devastated. Carrie Ann thinks that Marissa is better than that, and that the routine was boring. Tony defends his partner, probably because his choreography was under attack a little bit. Bruno thinks that Marissa has more talent to show, and says he wouldn't pick on her if he didn't believe that. Backstage, Marissa lags behind because I think she's upset. Samantha asks what Marissa needs to do to break through, and Marissa admits that she doesn't know. Tony thinks that Marissa might make it look too easy. What are the scores? Carrie Ann 6, Len 7, Bruno 6 for a total of 19. The audience boos and Marissa begs everyone to call and vote so that she can come back week.
Priscilla notes that her scores went down in the second week, so she needs to step it up. As they rehearse the tango, Louis explains that the tango embodies a love/hate relationship. Priscilla hopes that her perfectionism will lead to a great routine, and hopes to call upon her experience acting. Priscilla's dress is beautiful, but her turns seem a little too hoppy and not quite smooth enough. And I'm not trying to be mean, but Priscilla's facial expression doesn't change for the whole routine. Maybe it can't? Her footwork is great, though, as is her posture.
But who cares what I think? Bruno thinks it was well-executed and beautifully acted. Len loved the "passion, drama, fire and ice." Carrie Ann says that she was mesmerized and cautions her to watch her neckline. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 9, and Bruno 9 for a total of 26. Wow! Maybe the drama came across better in the ballroom than in my living room. Priscilla doesn't think her confidence is growing, but she hopes it does soon.
Jason Taylor is the final man to dance, and his light gray shirt was a poor choice because he's already pitted out. Adam mentioned on his radio show that the room where they wait to hear scores is like a thousand degrees, plus you're nervous, which leads to sweaty pits. Jason gets frustrated with the jive, and thinks he's going to look like a "fat, uncoordinated slob." He hopes that his hard training will lead to success. Edyta helps the cause by wearing hardly any clothes as usual. And hey, I'd do the same if I had her body. They dance to Ray Charles and...he's really good! I mean, his footwork is good, his posture is good, his facial expressions are good. They do some "wow" moves involving him sliding Edyta between his legs. You can really tell the difference between this dance, where Jason is actually dancing, and some of the other men (Adam and Steve, for example), where the woman is doing all of the dancing and the men are just kind of standing there. I'm really impressed, as is the audience.
Carrie Ann is amazed that Jason moves as well as he does for a big guy. Bruno thought it was restrained and powerful, and he's amazed by some of Jason's lines and grace. Len agrees that the lines and tricks were good, but he thought it didn't have enough jive in it. I thought it had a ton of jive content - lots of kicks and fast footwork. Eh, what do I know? Backstage, Edyta is also amazed by her partner. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 7, and Bruno 8 for a total of 23. I thought it was better than that, but I bet the lower scores will get them some audience votes. Hey, it was Jeff Probst! In the bumper, Tom pretends to have a frog in his throat and Probst comes over and reads the prompter for him.
The final couple to perform are Kristi and Mark, doing the tango. In rehearsal, Mark tries to get Kristi to be not pretty and open with her emotions. He takes her to an acting coach, but she can't stop giggling. As they dance, Mark coaches her to be more intense, but she's just cute and it's tough for her. It's a good thing Marissa didn't have to do the tango. As they begin (to "Rio" by Duran Duran?!?), the footwork and posture looks good, but I think Mark overdoes it with the facial expressions. He's bugging me, actually. Their turns are smooth and it's easy to forget that they're not both professionals when you see their routine.
Len liked that Mark just got into the dance and didn't mess about with business. Len and I are soulmates. Carrie Ann thinks Kristi's technique was amazing, but she needs more emotion. Bruno thought it was sharp and precise, but she needs to be a "dirty girl" to get the emotion across. Kristi shows Bruno a little leg, and if she had showed half that personality during her dance, it would have been a lot better. Backstage, Kristi says that she likes to leave things to the imagination instead of putting the sex appeal out there. She adds that, in skating, you can break character when you land a difficult move, but you're not allowed to do that in dancing. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9, and Bruno 9 for a total of 27.
So the rankings tonight are:
Kristi and Mark: 27
Priscilla and Louis: 26
Christian and Cheryl: 25
Shannon and Derek: 24
Jason and Edyta: 23
Marlee and Fabian: 21
Steve and Anna: 21
Mario and Karina: 21
Adam and Julianne: 21
Marissa and Tony: 19
See you tomorrow night for the results!