Last week was, according to Tom, the biggest shock of the season. Because Billy Ray left? That was hardly shocking. Oh, he means that Joey was in the bottom two. I think no one was more shocked than Joey. I wasn't all that shocked. I think Joey should be pleased -- now he's suddenly the underdog, instead of the smug frontrunner. It gives him a storyline.
As Apolo walks down the stairs, I'm thinking that if I had an Olympic gold medal, I would just wear it everywhere. To the store. To the drycleaner's. To the mall. To work. Who's going to say anything? Dude, you won a gold medal at the Olympics! There are few people who can make the same claim. Be proud!
The audience is so loud during the introductions that you can't really hear the hosts, but really, do they have anything important to add? Len says that the judges believe that the best four couples made it through, and they were allowed to pick their favorite dances this week, so expectations are high.
Apolo and Julianne are up first. Remember last week when Len gave them an 8 for their tango and Bruno! Was! Outraged! He yelped at Len, and I giggled. Apolo announces that they are going to do a quickstep and a cha-cha, which they did early on, to show how much Apolo has improved. They really want a 10 from Len on a ballroom dance, since they haven't had one yet. Apolo and Julianne went to "the Wango Tango event," which, what? There's an event called that? Do people just tango? And why am I thinking of chicken wings? Apolo says that he only gets more competitive as the contest gets more intense, and he's hoping for six tens in one night.
Their quickstep is up first. Julianne starts out by the judges' table, and Apolo scoots over to her fairly quickly, probably thinking of Len yelling at Maksim for taking too long to start dancing last week. Their footwork is quite impressive; this is probably the best quickstep we've seen this season. I know I've said it before, but the quickstep is one of my favorites. Terrible camera angle for the move where they kick between each other's legs; you couldn't even tell what they were doing due to Julianne's long dress. They conclude to a standing ovation, but I feel like there will be a lot of those tonight. Len thought it was fantastic. The other judges are equally complimentary. Backstage, Apolo repeats his desire to show his improvement from the early days of the competition. The judges reveal their scores to be 10, 10, and 10 for a perfect 30 out of 30. Samantha tries to get Apolo to make a prediction about his goal of getting all perfect scores, but Apolo is either humble or has had some media training, because he refuses to step into her trap.
Ian and Cheryl didn't impress the judges much last week, but their fans voted and they managed to escape the bottom two. So Ian brought in...a life coach? And it's not Rhonda from Starting Over? Riiiip-oooooofff! Rhonda would make Ian cut out little paper dolls to represent the judges and then hang paddles all over his body with numbers on them to represent his low scores, and then he would have to do an interpretive dance while shedding the paddles and destroying the paper dolls to symbolize freeing himself from worrying what the judges think. And if you think I'm kidding, you clearly never watched that show. Good times. Anyway, Ian blowhards, "Being an actor, my emotions are...very close to the surface." Anyone who starts a sentence with "Being a fill-in-the-blank" is a blowhard. Cheryl was impressed with the life coach. Ian realizes that he needs to be real and let his enjoyment show. Ian promises "a whole new Ian Ziering." I kind of dug the old Ian. I don't know about the new blowhard-y Ian.
Anyway, they're dancing the tango. Ian does seem more confident, which I think especially helps in this particular dance. His legs seem weirdly bent, though. Plus the choreography is kind of boring, and I don't know if that's due to Cheryl's lack of skill or Ian's. But I'm bored, and a tango shouldn't be boring. Bruno thought it was better, but Ian needs to watch his footwork. Carrie Ann thought he lost focus in the middle of the routine. Hey, is that Nat? From the Peach Pit! And...Jennie Garth? Doesn't she have anything better to do? She and the Fac have like three kids, don't they? I guess he's home babysitting -- it's not like he's busy either. Len says that the other judges are crazy and it was their best dance ever, and he watched it very closely. As Ian and Cheryl head backstage, Tom stumbles over the name Enrique Iglesias, and so Sam says it when the cameras show her, like she hasn't messed up about ten things each week. Shut up, Sam. Scores! They get a 9, 10, and 9 for a total of 28 out of 30. Ian and Cheryl are fired up about a 10, since it's their first of the season, and from Len no less! They should be proud.
Laila's voice sounds huskier than usual as she talks about how she needs to put aside the emotion of her father's visit last week and step it up a notch. They decide to do the quickstep, and Maksim keeps yelling at Laila. She could totally knock him out. He'd better watch it. They get into an argument. Are we sure they're not dating? Laila walks out, and the day, Maksim buys her flowers to apologize. They go to Laila's house for a cookout, and Laila tosses him in the pool. I'm sure that made many viewers happy -- to see Maksim dripping wet.
Laila and Maksim start their quickstep. It's...Egyptian? Hey, I love the Bangles. But for a ballroom dance? Kind of weird. And this also doesn't feel like a quickstep. I think it's suffering in comparison to Apolo and Julianne. I do like Laila's shorter hair. Carrie Ann notes that Laila is being compared to the professional women and holding her own. Len and Bruno enjoyed it as well. This is dull! No one is fighting or getting mad or throwing tantrums! Now they head backstage to find out their scores: 10, 10, and 10. Really? I must be missing something. I didn't think it was as good as Apolo and Julianne. Sam asks Laila about her knees, which have been giving her trouble. Laila says that she doesn't like to complain, because everyone has problems. They also deny that they fought more than usual this week.
Last week, Joey was shocked to be in the bottom two, but I still contend that it was the best thing that ever happened to him. Kym thinks that Joey's entertainment will be in overdrive as they do the jive. Joey keeps harping on the fans voting. Look, people don't like to be guilted into voting. Do a good job and then remind them to vote. Joey and Kym go to Disneyland to try to drum up some support.
Joey and Kym bust out their foxtrot first, which is probably wise, since I think their jive will actually be better. Joey really is lighter on his feet than any of the other male non-professionals. I think it would be interesting if, one week, they had to swap partners, or at least choreographers. I'd like to see Joey attempt some of Julianne's moves. The audience (including Lance Bass and Alfonso Ribiero) gives them a standing ovation. Len liked how Joey portrayed a character in the dance, and Bruno thinks this was Mr. Showbiz at his best. He thinks they looked like movie stars. Carrie Ann thinks that a winner is someone who bounces back, and she thinks Joey was the best in the ballroom round. Not sure how that will work when there are already two perfect scores. And to no one's surprise, they get three 10s for a perfect score of 30. I really love how exited Bruno always is to reveal his score, especially when it's a 10. Joey appeals to the fans once again, like, we get it, dude! We need to vote!
After the first round, Apolo, Joey, and Laila all have perfect scores, and Ian is right behind them with a 28.
Len goes to visit each finalist to help them get ready. He helps Ian understand how to do sharp kicks, and cuts a rug himself. Len wants to help Apolo learn to turn his toes out and avoid being pigeon-toed, and also to be more playful on the dance floor. Len analyzes the tape and decides that Laila's arm movements need to be sharper. He counsels her to think about placing her hand and her arms will take care of themselves. Len checks out the final tape and decides that Joey's upper body and head go forward, and that's what causing his butt to stick out. Joey deadpans, "I definitely agree with [Len's] advice. He knows what he's talking about. He's been dancing for, what? Ninety-five years?" Joey doesn't usually do it for me, but that cracked me up.
Apolo and Julianne return to do the cha-cha. I always feel like that's the dance's nickname, but its real name is the cha. They're dancing to "Push It," which the band is just murdering. And not in a good way. Apolo is showing some massive hip action, though. Not like he has massive hips. His action is massive. Now that just sounds dirty. Their choreography is just so much faster and more exciting than anyone else's. I see what Len was saying about Apolo's footwork, though. After one move, Apolo and Julianne end up lip to lip, which is not going to put to rest those rumors (or wishful thinking) in the forums about these two dating. The audience goes nuts. Bruno tries to talk, but has to wait a minute to tell them that they are "like a shot of adrenalin." Carrie Ann says that it was the sexiest cha-cha she's ever seen and she felt dirty watching it. Len thought the footwork was improved. Len thinks it was too raunchy, though. Oh, Len. I'm an old prude usually, but I thought it was fine. They can pull it off because they're young and cute. One of those former Playmates couldn't pull it off. But it's looking like they won't get their second perfect scores, which is fine. You have to leave something to shoot for in the finals, right? The judges reveal their scores and they're 10, 9, and 10. Bruno is upset at Len's 9, and so are Apolo and Julianne. You can barely hear Samantha due to the noise from the ballroom -- what's going on out there? Apolo and Julianne's total score is 59 out of 60.
Oh, everyone was laughing at Ian dressed up as Elvis, complete with fake pompadour. That is quite awesome. I think Steve Sanders did that once. He definitely dressed up like a lady on more than one occasion. Their jive is fun, but coming after Apolo and Julianne, it feels safe and tame. Ian's kicks are good though, so he did learn something from Len. Ian finishes things off with a roundoff and then does some Elvis moves to the crowd. Carrie Ann thinks the wig caused a breakthrough, and that the real Ian finally came across. Len thinks Ian really came out and sold it. Bruno isn't sure how, but the wig worked for him. Aw, I'm happy for the little blowhard. Let's check the scores: 10, 10, and 10! Yay! A perfect score, their first. Ian is actually choked up and very emotional. He thanks Cheryl and the people at home, and then gives Joey a giant bear hug. Cheryl attributes her success in the past seasons to luck with partners, but Ian thinks it has to do with her too. Their total score is a 58 out of 60.
Laila and Maksim are up for their cha-cha. They are dressed in a lot -- A LOT -- of purple. This is definitely a much more traditional routine than Apolo and Juliane's, which I think Len will like. They revive some of their moves from earlier routines, sort of a "greatest hits" dance. Afterwards, Maksim thanks Len for recognizing "the basic," which I think might be a shot at Julianne's choreography. Like, is he saying that she's not doing the right moves for the dance, as Len claimed? Anyway, the judges have run out of superlatives for these two, so there's not much to say. The judges give them a 10, 10, and 10. So they did get the first 60 out of 60. Samantha is babbling backstage about the first perfect thirty or something. She doesn't even know what she's talking about. Laila says that she taught Len some moves, but they didn't use them on camera. Oh, please show that tomorrow night.
The final dance of the evening is Joey and Kym doing the jive. Joey starts out laying across the judges' table and then does a giant leap -- I thought he might hit the rafters. The jive really is Joey's dance -- it lets him ham it up and do the athletic moves he does so well. At one point, he does a forward roll and then goes down into a split that I couldn't have done as a teenager, much less now. They also get a standing ovation, and it's well deserved. Bruno thinks Joey has "more flash than Vegas and more tricks than Houdini." He adds that it was a great capper to a great night. Carrie Ann loved it. Len puts on Joey's fedora and says, "You've got something that everyone's got, but yours is much bigger." Beat. "Personality." All the judges agree that Joey should be in the final. I think a Joey/Apolo final two would be awesome. Tom points out that Len thought the dancing was too raunchy, and then he's dropping double entendres all over the place. The final scores of the evening are revealed: 10, 10, and 10. There's another perfect 60 out of 60. Joey reminds everyone to call and vote, if they are so moved.
My husband just asked me if I'm going to weecap National Bingo Night. Can you imagine? up: B9. Then? N35.
The final scores are: Joey and Laila tied at 60, and then Apolo at 59 and Ian at 58. Damn, that's close. As much as I love him, I'm predicting Ian to go. He got his perfect score, but he's just a nudge less good than the others. See you tomorrow!