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After his attempted seppuku, the noble Uncle Pete was rushed to the hospital by the FBI, who continue their questionable behavior by immediately calling Ellen to tell her the news. Pete’s hospitalization and suicide note has Patty stumped. She knows he was up to something, but what? The fact that he brought fake clients home isn’t helping clear things up, either. But Patty isn’t feeling particularly suspicious, she’s just sad that her Uncle Pete is dying.
When Patty’s husband gives her the news that UNR is expecting an influx of capital, crafty lady that she is she puts together the douchey energy trader, the falling stock price and the merger and realizes that Walter Kendrick is somehow manipulating the energy markets. Luckily, Tom is all over the hooker beat and manages to scare the pants off Susie (no money required!) in an attempt to convince her to rat on Finn, the aforementioned douchey energy trader.
Meanwhile, Cheeseburger continues his assault on Frobisher, trying to get him to withdraw from the UNR lawsuit and get out of the damn media spotlight already. When Frobisher still insists on making amends and walking the path of the righteous, Cheeseburger pays a visit to his bunny-petting guru (not a euphemism). After the guru switches teams, Frobisher makes amends to a hooker in the back of a limo, and withdraws from the lawsuit. Does this mean Frobisher is off the show again? Somehow I doubt it.
Patty’s day isn’t getting any better. In fact she is having a giant ice cream sundae of Suck. First it turns out that her husband is taking insider trading tips from Lester, a.k.a. Dave, then he bought stock in UNR. WTF Phil? Then, as Uncle Pete wakes up, he reveals that the FBI has him over a barrel: either give them Patty or go to jail and away from his dying wife. Patty tells him to go ahead and give her up. The whipped cream of misery on that sundae of suck is that Frobisher had a Cheeseburger conversion and is pulling out of the lawsuit. Patty claims she doesn’t care because there are new potential plaintiffs, but you know she does. She really does. The cherry of doom on top of that sucky ice cream sundae? Pete’s hired gun, Patrick, gets wind of Pete’s imminent demise and rushes to his bedside only to find out that Pete is actually on the mend. Patrick can’t risk Pete having a deathbed conversion and telling the FBI about their attempted murder of Ellen, so he takes matters into his own hands and poisons Pete. So long, Uncle Pete! Maybe for real this time. Unless it turns out Aricite actually reanimates the dead, like in Resident Evil. Raccoon City might be in West Virginia, right?
Ellen is being haunted by David, giving further (and completely unmerited) credence to my thoughts on Aricite. Her interactions with his ghost send her running back to grief counseling and closer to Wes.
Three months later, Pete’s wife finds a box of files with Ellen Parsons' name on it, so she decides to meet Ellen and give her the files. Hey, they have her name on it, right? Cut to her waving her gun in the air talking to a blurry person. The blurry person becomes un-blurry and it’s: Patty! Whoa. Patty is begging Ellen not to shoot her. Ellen admits that the gun is not even loaded. Then Ellen pulls out the file Pete’s wife gave her, and Patty breaks the Botox barrier and looks shocked, then... two gunshots. Good thing we all know Ellen is a shite shot. But, man, Patty’s day sucks.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Last week, Uncle Pete swallowed a handful of pills in order to get out of the awkward situation of either going to jail or turning in Patty. Also, Tom got to hang out with hookers and a cocaine-like substance was snorted in primetime (primetime, people!), giving credence to those adult content warnings.
Ellen wakes up in the middle of the night and sleepily fumbles around for a bottle of pills. She gets up for a glass of water and as she turns back to bed she runs smack into David. That's what you get for trying to survive on nothing but Dexatrim, vodka and Scope, honey! Ellen actually doesn't seem all that surprised to see him. Like yeah, it's a small town and she was bound to run into her dead fiancé sooner or later. David is wearing his scrubs and tells her she's not dreaming, but is having a hypnoponic hallucination. O.R. you a doctor, then David? Ellen totally gets it. She apologizes for moving out of the apartment and he laughs because he always hated that place. He holds up the bottle of pills and she defensively claims she only takes them when she can't sleep. Or instead of food. They taste like marshmallows and love! David the doctor shakes his head. Ellen's phone rings and she turns to look. David asks if it is Patty and she says no, it's the FBI. He giggles that she's a Fed now and she smiles and corrects him that she's an informant. He asks her if she is going to answer and she says she'll just be one minute. Leaving David to scratch his head in amazement that he broke several laws of faith, spirituality, and physics to come check up on his fiancée and she answers her freakin' Blackberry. WTF, Ellen? Did you learn nothing from all the fights you and David had last season about your priorities? No? Ellen picks up the phone and Agent Glenn tells her that Pete tried to kill himself last night and they aren't sure if he is going to make it. Ellen looks for David, but he's gone. Wouldn't you be?
Patty sits at Pete's bedside. She asks Magda (a.k.a. Stephania, Pete's long-suffering wife) why Pete would have done this. Magda says she doesn't know. She tells Patty that Pete came home yesterday with two clients and then disappeared into the bathroom. Patty interrupts her to ask whose clients they were and Magda says they were Patty's. Patty doesn't say anything and Magda continues with her summary of events: When Pete and "the clients" left, she went into the bathroom and found the empty pill bottles and a note. She hands Patty the note, which she saved and brought with her just in case anyone asked. So if Pete was with the FBI when he collapsed and they apparently brought him to the hospital, who called his wife? Did Mario Van Peebles call her up and say he tried to kill himself and he's in the hospital please don't ask any questions? Patty looks really sad as she flashes back to what I assume are her (lousy) childhood memories. There is some yelling and a "get the hell out of my way Pete!" and Patty running to hide. Little girl Patty is really cute, and it's kind of sad to think she is going to grow up and look like Glenn Close. No offense.
Ellen gets into the back of the FBI agents' car and demands an explanation for what happened to Pete. Who is working for whom here? Are all informants this annoyingly bossy and demanding? And why is the FBI talking to her anyway? Wouldn't they want to keep their distance after almost killing Patty's uncle? Wouldn't, say, a phone call be more prudent? They tell Ellen that Pete overdosed on his wife's pills. They got him to the hospital, but he's in a coma. Ellen gasps, "Why?" And Mario Van Peebles shakes his head in disbelief at this supposedly precocious young lawyer and Agent Glenn rolls his eyes in dismay. MVP fills Ellen in that Pete tried to kill himself so he wouldn't have to turn Patty in. He made sure not to use any big words and spoke really loudly so maybe Ellen would get it. Ellen wants to know what will happen when or if Pete wakes up. MVP takes a deep breath, holds down his bitch slap with his right arm, and reminds her that they still have evidence on Pete and he will have to choose whether to go to jail or give them Patty. He draws a chart for Ellen and then sings a little rhyming song to help her remember. She nods, but you can tell she doesn't get it. MVP sighs and considers changing jobs. Maybe they'll let him on Burn Notice. They seem smart over there.
Patty's husband Phil lunches with Lester a.k.a. Dave. Phil gets right to the point: Dave called him and said there was an opportunity. What is it? Lester leans forward and tells him that he should invest in UNR. Phil looks skeptical and Lester reminds him that they have worked together for a long time and he has never led him astray. The stock price is low right now, but the word on the street (the 24 k gold-lined Wall Street, that is, not, you know, your street) is that Walter Kendrick has lined up a bunch of private investors who are going to dump money into UNR. Phil looks intrigued, but reminds Lester that there is a slight conflict of interest, what with his wife suing UNR and all. Lester points out that Patty's suit was based on the falling stock price and once the price goes back up, her case will be moot. Phil reminds Lester that Patty doesn't lose. Okay hold up. Phil is a douche. We all know this. But he is smart, right? Does he realize that if he buys UNR stock after Patty caused the price to fall with her whole "Walter Kendrick is a murderer" spiel, that could look suspicious? Okay I know he is having an affair, that he and Patty have a marriage of paired ambition and social status convenience and probably haven't had sex since 1984. Like the Clintons. But I don't think that he hates her and/or wants to rain down destruction. But maybe he does? Lester tells him to invest in UNR and some day he will thank him.
Arthur Frobisher and his guru/spiritual advisor/random guy in a scarf with a pocketful of Deepak Chopra visit the site of Frobisher's shooting. As Frobisher uses his cane to point out all the highlights of his near death experience, Scarfy flips through his "Guide to Acting like a Spiritual Douche" and tells Frobisher to breathe through it all and put it behind him. Frobisher tells Scarfy that he owns all the land and wants to build a healing center right here on this very piece of earth where he almost lost his life. Frobisher starts turning in circles and pointing with his cane saying right here could be the deep-breathing fire ring and over there could be the drumming circle and right here could be the thing with the horses. Scarfy nods in agreement just shaking his head along with all of Frobisher's wild gesticulations. Heck, if he can get one crazy rich white guy to buy into his scarf-wearing heavy breathing drum circles why can't he get all of them? Frobisher pulls something out of his pocket. It's the bullet the doctors gave him as a souvenir of his past life as a murderous dick. He buries the bullet in the ground and declares it to be the foundation of his healing center. Scarfy is starting to look a little dubious of going into business with a man who carries around a bullet that was yanked out of his kidney. As Scarfy twirls his finger around his head and points at Frobisher, Frobisher suddenly realizes that even his paid spiritual guide is suspicious of his motives. Frobisher is so manic about the healing center that Scarfy has no choice but to start spouting holistic hooey about the sun and darkness and difficult journeys and upping Frobisher's Thorazine level. Frobisher swears that he wants this to be a new beginning for him. And wouldn't "new beginning" be a great name for the center? Scarfy gives him his blessing, because, you know, he's paid to. Besides: hey, free healing center!
Magda (I know it's Stephania, but you watch fourteen seasons of Sex and the City and you get attached. By the way, could FX have swiped any more HBO alumni on this show? It's like they are angling for their Emmy by just cutting and pasting HBO's greatest hits.) Anyway, where was I? Oh right, Magda is leaving her house with her barely portable oxygen tank in tow when Patrick stops to say hello. Who is Patrick, you ask? Why he's the gent who Pete hired to kill Ellen and then paid off again to get the heck out of town. Patrick tells Magda that he returned when he heard Pete was in the hospital. He wants to know what happened. Magda explains that there is trouble and somebody ratted on Pete and the FBI want information on Pete's boss. Patrick looks nervous, and sure if you take it all out of context like that it might sound like Pete was going to blab. Except for the part about him attempting suicide. That might sound like he wasn't planning on blabbing. I mean, if you're paying attention to the details. Patrick gives Magda a ride to the store to get Pete some licorice. Perfect for coma victims. Just liquefy and put in his IV. Tasty. Oh, are you not supposed to say coma victims? Is some coma rights group going to start emailing me now telling me how I'm insensitive to the plight of people living with coma? Email away folks.
Patty is staring into space when Ellen and her shapeless shift of a dress barge into the room. Oh, are all the "ladies" wearing sackcloth these days? Is it a designer garbage bag you're wearing? Whatever. Ellen apologizes for the intrusion and then proceeds to sit down to Patty and ask after Uncle Pete. Patty says he is still unconscious and then asks Ellen if she ever told her about her father. Ellen shakes her head no and Patty tells her about the angry, unsatisfied, cold man who walked out on her family. That's when Uncle Pete stepped in. He had always been the screw up, in and out of jail, but he took care of them. She looks really sad, so I'll excuse her talking to Ellen as an equal. For now. Patty sighs again and turns to Ellen and reminds her that she warned her that the FBI was after her. It's obvious now that when Ellen told the FBI she wouldn't play their game, they turned their sights on Pete. Ellen looks almost sad when she asks Patty what they will do when Pete wakes up. He could still turn on her. Patty says there is only one thing they can do: Wait. Was Ellen really hoping that Patty would just spit out that she was going to off her Uncle for maybe possibly thinking about flipping on her? I bet she was.
Frobisher and Scarfy are quietly meditating in tandem when Frobisher starts to get distracted and sniffing and thinking: "Cheeseburger." And then one of those hands made out of the smell of a delectable food item tickles his nostrils and pulls him down the path and then slaps him awake to the glaring hirsute face of Mr. Cheeseburger. The dirtiest cop both literally and figuratively. Seriously, Cheeseburger, consider a change of clothes. Wes is standing behind Cheeseburger and Frobisher jerks out of his chair and demands to know who Wes is. Scarfy is apparently transcending a different plane of existence, because he doesn't seem to notice the hubbub. Speaking of hubbubs and Wes, for some reason whenever I was watching Deadwood and some mid-town showdown was taking place under the high noon sun and Timothy Olyphant was all clenching his jaw and looking serious, I kept hoping he would stare down his enemy and it would be the guy from the Hubba Bubba ads. C'mon, it would have been awesome! Anyway, Frobisher demands to know why Cheeseburger brought Wes. Cheeseburger explains that Wes works for him and has information about Ellen. Frobisher doesn't want to hear it. He is past his past. He tries to pull Cheeseburger away from Wes to talk to him in private, but Wes gets his attention when he yells, "Hey asshole!" Frobisher knows he is talking to him somehow and turns to glower at Wes. Wes fills him in on the fact that while he may be past his past, Ellen blames him for David's death and is plotting his demise. Frobisher sort of shrugs 'cause it's really not a surprise that this is the shit you deal with when you arrange for someone's bloody bludgeoning. Wes then tells him that Ellen snuck into his hospital room and stood over his bed, deciding whether or not to kill him. That momentarily stuns Frobisher, who demands to know how Wes knows that. Wes smiles smugly and replies that Ellen tells him stuff. For example, he also knows that Ellen is using Patty's resources to dig into Frobisher's past. Cheeseburger steps up then and glares at Frobisher, warning that if they find anything linking David's murder to Frobisher or Cheeseburger, there will be blood. Frobisher starts cursing loudly and disturbs Scarfy and his disciples (which is an awesome band name, any takers?). He apologizes to his guru and catches his unchecked anger. He straightens up and parrots back to Cheeseburger the same malarkey Scarfy told him earlier about the sun and the darkness. Wes and Cheeseburger stare as the screws loosen in Frobisher's noggin. Frobisher tells them that they are chained to the past, but he is free. He turns back to his meditation circle, leaving Cheeseburger and Wes openmouthed and staring.
Wes escorts Ellen for her glorious return to grief counseling. The Therapist-In-Charge welcomes her back and immediately surrenders the floor to Ellen's tale of woe surrounding David's last gift to her. Ellen is supposed to be choked up, but she can't seem to do it, so the camera cuts away and then cuts back to her after the addition of glycerin and sand caused some (fake) tears to well up. She explains that she can't open the gift because she is moving on. Wes calls bullshit, though, and says that she can't open the gift because it is the last bit of David that she has and if she leaves the gift unopened then she can look forward to one more moment with him. It's the opposite of moving on. Ellen stares at Wes and...remember that scene in the movie Glory where Denzel Washington is in uniform and stares into the camera and one lone tear rolls down his cheek? He won the Oscar for that one tear. It was beautiful and powerful and heartbreaking. So now Ellen stares into the camera and one lonely tear winds down her pretty cheek and ...nothing. Just a big pile of meh.
Patty and Phil sit at their dining room table with a bottle of wine and a lot of sadness between them. Patty tells Phil that the doctors aren't sure Pete is going to make it. They are quiet some more and then Phil tentatively tells Patty that he knows it is bad timing, but he has some information on UNR. Seems they are going to get some money injected into the company to drive up the stock price. Patty can't figure out who would invest in such a bum company. Then she stares into space and starts putting all the pieces together. Besides a crap joke, what do you get with an influx of capital, a hooker, an energy trader, and a bad merger? She realizes they would make a killing off of manipulating the energy markets by cutting supply to increase demand. That's nice and all, but what does this have to do with Daniel Purcell's dead wife and the dying farm animals in West Virginia? Did they just give up on the Daniel Purcell storyline? Where's the hunky reporter? Hmm.
Suzie the smokin' hot hooker leaves a hotel and, oh lookie, Tom Shayes just happens to be hanging out right there. I think stalking is what the kids are calling it these days. Or fine, it was a stake out. But he didn't have coffee or a magazine or anything. He was just standing there. He calls after Suzie and she ignores him, but he is a persistent fellow. He annoys her into talking to him by using every double entendre and threatening innuendo he can recall from his Sigma Chi days, including telling her that he wants "honest intercourse" and that he is happy to go "screw himself" due to their lack of chemistry. They let you practice law with that mouth? Tom claims he just wants information on Finn Garrity and to know why Claire Maddox was defending an overpriced hooker in the dirty Jerz on a cocaine rap. When Susie doesn't immediately cough up all the details of her life of crime to some random guy on the street who is claiming to be an attorney, Tom does the unthinkable and pulls out his...business card. Tom is SO boring sometimes. He tells her to call him... or else. I had to add that threat just so I wouldn't fall asleep. C'mon Tom, you're surrounded by hot women and corporate intrigue! Go for the gold! And by gold I mean cocaine-covered hookerfest. You've earned it, buddy.
Phil makes a secret dirty phone call to his broker. He is taking a position in UNR, which means he is buying stock on that little insider tip. He tells his broker to run it through the subsidiary fund. He wants to keep it quiet. Oh, Phil. You suck. And for the record, you sucked on The OC, too.
Patrick is making the rounds of his old outer-borough neighborhood looking for people with a line on who Pete's been talking to. When he finds the guy who sold the cops the stolen DVDs and called Pete a grandfather and then set him up for the Feds, he charges at him. Patrick throws him against the wall and punches him in the tighty whities (really!) and asks him what the hell happened. Someone set Pete up -- was it him? He swears it was some guy named Timmy. He is nervous, too. He thinks Pete might talk. Patrick sticks his finger in the guy's face and tells him sternly that Pete would never do that. He lets the guy go and storms back to his car. Cut to Pete's hospital room, where Magda is watching Pete lie comatose. Pete's eyes open suddenly. And then he lunges at her and eats her face off! No Pete no! You love her! Sigh...Fucking zombies, man.
Agent Glenn comes to say hi to Uncle Pete, who is seriously bumming that he failed at committing suicide and is back in the same pickle. Agent Glenn tells Pete that Magda was crushed over his near-death experience. He doesn't know what she would do without him if he went to jail. Agent Glenn brushes off Pete's nasty name-calling and reminds him of the situation: He either goes to jail or he gives them Patty. Pete glares at him and then says the S word so we know he is still tough.
The douchebag coke fiend broker is making another pants-less transaction in a hotel room while Suzie the hooker with the hair of gold watches. When he finishes bending the energy market to his whims, he tells Suzie to undress his top half. As she fiddles with his double Windsor (not a euphemism) she tells him that some guy, a lawyer really, came up to her on the street and started asking questions about him. Finn grabs her by the shoulders and tells her that if she is lying to him or if she talks to the lawyer, she is dead. She stares at him and he stares at her and then he lets her go. He apologizes for saying that thing about being dead, but the damage is done and Suzie looks freaked. It doesn't help when Finn settles himself on the bed and tells her to undress him again.
Frobisher's guru Scarfy is petting a bunny (not a euphemism) on a gazebo overlooking a pond when Cheeseburger finds him. Cheeseburger has decided on a different tact to get to Frobisher, as just telling him over and over that he will drop out of the lawsuit doesn't seem to be working. Cheeseburger has been reading Scarfy's books and the bunny stroking reminds him of a story about a jackal and a rabbit and a carrot and blind guy and Al Gore and a doughnut and a smallish Mexican guy and Carol Alt and a brand new Fisher Price school bus. Scarfy nods; he remembers the tale. Cheeseburger recounts the story anyway, but muffs the ending. Scarfy asks him why he is there and Cheeseburger asks to hold the bunny. And, oh god, please don't kill the bunny, Cheeseburger! I won't be able to take it! I'm already tearing up just thinking about it! Please don't kill the bunny! Cheeseburger cradles the little white rabbit in his arms and strokes his ears and stares intently at Scarfy and tells him that he used to be Frobisher's teacher and his lessons aren't over. He needs Frobisher to listen to him and if this little bunny has to get boiled to win Frobi back, so be it. Scarfy stares nervously at the bunny, really really regretting handing the defenseless little wabbit to Cheeseburger. As Cheeseburger appears to have stopped talking and is now just staring intently, Scarfy nods in agreement to whatever bullshit he just spewed and anxiously grabs his bunny back. (Why yes, I am aware that is a very weird sentence.)
Patty and Pete have a heart to heart talk in the hospital room. She wants to know what the cops have on him and he explains that one of his boys flipped and they got Pete taking a pay off. They got him. Patty gently reminds him that he promised he had stopped. He gets teary eyed when he tells her he just couldn't. She wants to know why he didn't call her and he doesn't really answer but just repeats that the Feds have enough to put him away for life. His subtle maneuvering does not go unnoticed and Patty asks him what they wanted him to do. He tells her that the Feds wanted him to give her up, but he won't do it. He would rather go to jail. Patty stares at him sadly.
Scarfy tells Frobisher about Cheeseburger's visit to the pond and about all the unseemly rabbit molestation he was forced to witness. Scarfy shakes he head and mutters, "He is not your friend" and then reminds Frobisher that whatever Cheeseburger does to his physical embodiment, he cannot touch his soul. Frobisher doesn't seem really comforted by that. Candy ass. Western-minded body worshipping candy ass. Scarfy asks a few probing questions and then tells Frobisher that he has a choice: he can either turn himself in for what he did or spend the rest of his life running from Cheeseburger. Frobisher doesn't really like his choices. Scarfy leaves Frobisher to consider his options and Frobisher comes up with a third choice: Screwing some girl in the back of a car on a busy street with the windows open! Scarfy zero, Frobisher one. I wonder whose self-help books will sell more? As he sweatily tosses some girl to the side, he is still panting when he pick up his phone and tells someone that he'll do it.
In a chair to Pete's bed, Patty closes her eyes for a moment. She remembers hiding and covering her ears to escape from her parents' fighting. Some kindly man finds her and says hello. She opens her eyes and Uncle Pete is awake. As they smile at each other, we cut to the FBI agents listening in on the conversation. Sneaky g-men have bugged the room. Ellen is there with them, which is really annoying. I see absolutely no reason at all for her to be in there looking all woeful and regretty. Why would the FBI have her there? It is too stupid. Patty asks Pete why he stayed and took care of her and her mom. He reaches out from the bed and caresses her face gently and tells her that he doesn't know why he stayed. Patty half smiles and tells him that he should give the FBI everything he has on her. He should save himself. Over at FBI HQ, Ellen snorts that Patty had one thing on her and tried to have her killed. She doesn't buy this self-sacrifice routine. Mario Van Peebles and Agent Glenn exchange looks, probably trying to remember who invited Ellen.
Frobisher limps along (I guess he pulled a muscle) and meets Cheeseburger in the park. He tells him that he is pulling out of the suit. Cheeseburger prods him, "And the funds I need?" Frobisher nods and says it will be the same arrangement as before. Cheeseburger smirks and nods as Frobisher walks away.
In another park, Tom meets Suzie the hooker to talk. The way this show is shot you would almost think New York is nothing but parks and ponds and bunnies and empty streets. Where are the garbage piles? Where's the graffiti? Where are the extremely tall luxury condo buildings? It's far too sunny and pretty in this New York. It makes me confused. I mean I live here and I keep forgetting where they are supposed to be. Anyway. Tom sits down to Suzie and tells her that Purcell's innocent wife was killed because he wouldn't play ball. That could be her! Okay, voice of doom, we get it. Suzie smokes nervously as she tells Tom about Finn. She is scared and won't tell him much until he can guarantee her protection. All she offers is that he has companies within companies and trades all over the world. Tom wants to know if Finn knows Walter Kendrick, but Suzie doesn't know. Tom tells her to find out. Tom takes out his wallet to pay her for the information, but she tells him to keep it. When it's all over, she'll let him know what she wants. Ooh intriguing.
Patty tells Tom that Frobisher dropped out of the UNR lawsuit because the media attention was interfering with his path to getting on The Amazing Race. Tom scoffs at that. But he is too busy working late (with hookers) to know that appearing on The Amazing Race is one small step closer to spiritual enlightenment. Patty doesn't care because they got what they needed from him: Dozens of shareholders joined the suit after selling their UNR shares at rock-bottom prices. Tom and Patty giggle for awhile.
Patrick goes to see Uncle Pete and Pete is not happy to see him. He tells him to go -- now! Patrick asks him what he is going to give the Feds -- nothing about him and that thing they did for his boss, right? Pete glares at him. Out in the FBI van (it really is a van, too, those FBI people are so uncreative) Ellen listens closely to the conversation, but doesn't recognize Patrick's voice. Not asking why she thinks she would be able to identify every voice in Pete's life, the FBI is curious about who this guy is. They send Ellen on a reconnaissance mission to see if she recognizes the guy. Um, yeah, send Ellen. As opposed to say, an actual FBI AGENT. Or maybe, Mario Van Peebles, who has the entire catalogue raisonee of petty criminals in his pretty little head. They can take a picture for Ellen. I hear they are worth a thousand words. As Ellen runs inside, Pete swears he isn't giving them anything on Patrick. He just wants Patrick to make like a drum and beat it. (Thanks for that, Bugs Meaney!)
Patty uncomfortably watches kids running around a playground. She stares through the bars of the fence and there is really no way to watch kids at a playground without appearing slightly creepy. Really, just don't do it. She watches one little girl in particular and it is... well, creepy. Back at the hospital, Ellen's twig-like frame runs as fast as her little legs can carry her towards Pete's room. How does she know where Pete's room is? Suspend your disbelief, fool! Pete tells Patrick that this is really goodbye. He has to get out of town and stay out of town. Patrick smiles and doesn't say anything --because he is too busy injecting some toxic substance into Pete's IV! Patty watches the little girl's daddy zip up her jacket. Ellen runs through the hospital some more. Patrick says goodbye to Pete as a nurse comes in. Patrick leaves the room, catches the attention of the person who was supposed to be guarding the room, and Ellen comes flying around the corner. Patty stares some more as Ellen and the (really crappy) guard rush into the room and watch Pete expire. Where is the nurse? Um, hello! Code blue! Someone? Anyone? No? Do you know that his niece is a litigator? You might want to pretend to try and save him. Patty's phone rings. Cut to Patrick coming out of the hospital and making a call. Oh shit! Did Patty have Uncle Pete killed? Cut back to Patty looking shocked Cut to Ellen coming out of the hospital room, calling Patty and telling her the bad news. And back to Patty asking, "When?" Back to Patrick calling "Mikey" to come pick him up. So Patty didn't kill Pete. And exactly how is Ellen going to explain being at the hospital? Oh right. No disbelief. Patty grabs onto the fence at the playground and stares intently at the little girl who turns around and gives her total tween stinkeye for staring at her for like an hour like. "I'm sorry you're crying old lady, but quit staring at me." Patty takes herself back to hiding in the woods when Uncle Pete finds her and takes her out for some licorice.
Three months later, Magda is still trucking along. She is feeling so fit that she decides to do a little spring cleaning and opts to feng shui a closet. She finds a whole bunch of files and an envelope with Katie Connors name on it. It's a photo of Ellen and Katie. And a picture of poor Saffron with a target on her head. Oh Pete! You killed Katie's puppy? What the hell, dude? Speaking of hell, THAT IS WHERE PUPPY KILLERS GO!! Magda puts the pictures back in the envelope and pulls out the file: It has Ellen's name on it. Um, Pete, you kept files? For god knows what reason, Magda takes the file to Ellen. How do they even know each other? Cut to Ellen laughing and telling her unseen guest that she should be scared, nay, she should be terrified. The camera focuses on a gun and then refocuses on the guest. It's Patty. She is teary eyed and terrified and clutching her stomach. She begs Ellen not to do anything. It's not her. Ellen laughs bitterly that Patty knows her so well. She admits the gun isn't even loaded. Patty doesn't look comforted. Well maybe marginally. She is so fearful she is almost shaking. Ellen tells her it is just the two of them. She takes a file out of her bag and sits down across from Patty. She hands her the file -- it's Pete's file on her. Patty looks aghast (aghaster?) when she sees it. The screen goes black. Two shots are fired.