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John Ross learns that Christopher put himself on the line with the Venezuelans to save his bacon. Touched, he figures out a way to get to the oil under Southfork without going against Miss Ellie's wishes and thereby freeing Christopher from his dumb, dangerous obligations. Christopher, of course, misunderstands everything and throws a whiny tantrum. Bobby has a seizure that seems to be induced as much by his cancer treatment as by witnessing all the bickering. A trip to the hospital reveals that Bobby's got a brain aneurysm that's poised to explode at any moment. The possibility of Bobby's death shocks everyone into acting like decent human beings.
John Ross seems especially affected. Desperate to put things right, he gets J.R. back into town and pleads with him to return Southfork to Bobby. J.R. dismisses that idea right away and even takes back his old suite at the ranch. Then he has a chat with his sickly baby brother who makes him realize that although he's kind of a rotten bastard by nature, he occasionally does the right thing. He signs the deed back over to Bobby. Of course, not half a minute later does Bobby's lawyer call and tell him they've finally found some info that might tie J.R. to the shady Del Sol deal. Bobby tells him to keep digging and almost instantly suffers another seizure.
In other subplots, Harris Ryland finds out about Sue Ellen's foray into blackmail and aims to blackmail her right back. Christopher and John Ross decide to go into business together as Ewing Energies, with Elena as a partner. It has "doomed" written all over it. Christopher and Rebecca are starting to get closer but Tommy threatens to blow everything. He pressures her to help him steal Christopher's methane doohickey. His mystery buyer turns out to be Frank Ashkani, who finally loses patience and ends their deal. Enraged, Tommy attacks Rebecca. She reaches for a gun. They struggle. A shot is fired... but who gets shot? Stay tuned for the full weecap.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!John Ross is recuperating in Elena's bed after his ass-whuppin'. She's crawling around on the floor, looking for one of her boots. John Ross makes a hilarious "OMG!" face and produces it from under the covers. Elena looks over his bruised face and curses J.R. for getting him into so much trouble. John Ross looks a wee bit guilty and says things are more complicated than that. "Don't defend him," Elena says. "He got you into this mess and didn't do anything to get you out. Christopher had to." John Ross isn't moved. "I never asked him to use his gas rights to pay the Venezuelans," he says. That's when Elena reveals that Bobby had planned to drill on Southfork before Christopher stepped in. John Ross is surprised and more than a little moved to hear that his uncle was willing to do that to save his life. Elena gets a call about some trouble at the ol' Henderson well. As she leaves, John Ross lies back and makes some epiphany faces.
Christopher and Rebecca go shopping for their upcoming twins. Christopher still doesn't trust Rebecca but he's working on it and then they buy two toy monkeys. These monkeys will be important later.
Rebecca returns home, alone, and is surprised to find Tommy waiting for her. "How did you get in here? I changed the locks!" He smoldered them off. He reminds Rebecca that he wants her to steal the plans for Christopher's methane doohickey. He'd steal them himself, but he needs Christopher's key card to get into his office. Tommy's buyer is getting antsy. He gets gropey with Rebecca and creepily rubs her belly when she screams. "Sh, you're gonna wake the babies!" She claws his face. That gets him to back off. "The plans to Christopher's rig," he says, "or I put a bullet in your little fairytale."
Harris Ryland surprises Sue Ellen at her office. At first, she actually seems slightly happy to see him... or at least not filled with revulsion. Then he gifts her with a bottle of wine, knowing full well she's a recovering alcoholic. They drop all pretense of being friendly and get down to business. Ryland reminds her of the money he donated to her campaign, then reveals that he knows she bribed his "good friend" the medical examiner. Ryland suggests Sue Ellen try using "more carrot, less stick," which is the opposite of my advice. Neither option would have especially helped Sue Ellen in this case though, as Ryland would still have an in with her. He wants her to launder a big chunk of his money through one of her campaign PACs. Or else. Sue Ellen tries to return Ryland's donation, but he's like, "No givesies-backsies!" She's screwed.
Tommy meets with his mystery buyer at a fancy bar. It turns out to be Cliff's driver/adopted son/foreshadowed downfall, Frank Ashkani. Tommy starts making excuses for why he doesn't have the methane doohickey yet. Frank goes "ssshhh" in the quietest, yet most terrifying way. He makes no mention of working on anyone's behalf, so maybe he's buying the plans for himself. Tommy unwisely demands more money, but all he gets from Frank is one day's extension.
John Ross and Elena mull over the Henderson well's problems. There's a salt dome getting in the way of the drilling. As they look over the maps, they realize that they can slant-drill from the Henderson property into Southfork's oil deposits. They bring the plans over to Bobby. Everything I know about slant drilling, I learned from Monty Burns. John Ross sums it up: "This is a way to get the oil without ever having to go against what you promised Miss Ellie." Christopher walks by and hears John Ross explaining that they can quickly pay off the Venezuelans this way. Instead of waiting to find out what's going on, Christopher flies off the danged handle. "I agree to pay off your debt, keep you from getting killed in jail and how do you thank me?" He gets all shouty as he is wont to do, even as everyone tries to explain. Finally, John Ross just gives up. "Fine, save your own ass." Christopher lunges at John Ross. Bobby, furious, jumps between them. "This family is in trouble and we need to work together to get out of it!" He orders them to sit down like a pair of misbehaving puppies. They reluctantly do as they're told, but it's too late. Bobby starts blinking and twitching and stumbles backwards into his chair. Elena calls for an ambulance.
At the hospital, Elena and Christopher talk about Bobby's seizure. "What could it have been?" she asks. "Could it have been the --" He cuts her off: "We don't know. They're running tests." John Ross listens, confused. When Christopher goes back to his father's bedside, John Ross asks Elena about what she was going to say before she was cut off. She tells John Ross about Bobby's cancer, because Elena is apparently the deliverer of everyone's medical news on this show. She basically tells John Ross that the reason everyone kept it from him is that they were afraid he'd use the information against Bobby to get Southfork. John Ross tries to keep from showing that he just got punched in the gut.
He calls Bum and tells him to find J.R. Bum lies that he has no way of contacting J.R., so John Ross shoves him up against the nearest wall. "I've never kicked an old man's ass, but today's as good a day as any." He unhands Bum. "Tell him his brother's dying." I haven't given him a lot of credit before, but Josh Henderson is really bringing it in this episode.
Meanwhile, Bobby gets the news from his doctor. His cancer isn't back, but he has an aneurysm in his brain that may be the result of a congenital weakness and/or the chemotherapy. They'll operate once Bobby's blood pressure is down. Till then, the doc wants him to rest up at the hospital, but Bobby digs his heels in like an old mule. If his brain is going to explode like a piñata, he'd rather it happen in the comfort of his own home.
The morning at Southfork, Bobby is already antsy. His nurse is already exasperated. Rebecca stops by and finds Christopher camped out in the living room. With his permission, she gives him a shoulder massage -- just in time for Elena to walk in and see them. She looks sad. Ann calls Christopher away to help her with Bobby, leaving Rebecca and Elena to give each other looks like they're fighting over the same man. The writers can't possibly think this is making Elena at all likable, can they? As Rebecca leaves, she pauses at Christopher's car. She digs through his things, pulls out his key card, thinks it over, and then puts it back.
Bobby wants to go for a walk, but Christopher guilts him into staying put. To everyone's surprise, J.R. walks through the doors. "GET OUT," Ann all but roars at him. "Now, just calm down, darlin'," J.R. says. He may be smart in a lot of ways, but even the dumbest of men know not to tell an angry woman to calm down. Ever enraged, Ann shoves him right back out the way he came. J.R. tries to point out that he owns Southfork now and that Bobby is his baby brother, but Ann's not having it. "If I catch you anywhere near Bobby's room, I'll shoot you," she says. "And since you have no heart, it'll be somewhere more vital." She glares at his crotch. J.R. looks scared for possibly the first time in his life.
Still up in his room, Bobby hears all of this with a kind of resigned amusement. J.R.'s just being J.R., he says. "Can I get you anything?" Christopher asks. He means, like, a cup of coffee or something, but what Bobby really wants is peace in the family. He admits to screwing up by selling Southfork. Thank you. He sniffles and tries not to cry in front of his boy.
John Ross rushes over to Southfork, having been told by Christopher of J.R.'s return. Goodness gracious. Did John Ross paint his shirt on? He's about to Hulk his way out of that thing. The buttons are positively straining to keep his pecs contained. My word. Anyway, before John Ross can go to his father, Christopher pulls him aside for a chat. "The only way you get to drill is if you get J.R. to sign the Southfork deed back over to my father." John Ross is puzzled, since they can't drill without Bobby's permission anyway. Christopher shout-explains that it's about giving Bobby some peace of mind in case his brain goes Vesuvius. Christopher reminds John Ross that Bobby was more of a father to him than J.R. was.
John Ross brings the discussion to his father. Not surprisingly, J.R. is firmly against giving Southfork back to Bobby. He's already plotting and scheming his moves, which include payback for the guys who beat up John Ross in prison. "What's gotten into you?" J.R. asks. "A little decency," John Ross says. J.R. looks at his boy like he's an alien. John Ross pleads with J.R. to let it all go. "Southfork is more than just a piece of dirt," J.R. says, sounding suddenly rather frail. "It's as much a part of me as my blood, my bones." He packs up John Ross's things and kicks him out.
Sue Ellen arrives and sees an ambulance in the driveway. She gets worried that something has happened to Bobby, but Elena explains the ambulance is just on standby. Damn. Must be nice to be rich. John Ross walks out, his bags in tow, and catches everyone up on the latest. Sue Ellen is infuriated and stomps off to have words with her ex. Elena doesn't really understand the family dynamics, so John Ross decides to break all our hearts with an explanation. "I spent my entire life missing him, wanting to be with him, wanting to be him. He's J.R. Ewing." He tearfully wishes his father could be proud of him. "I love my father, but he's so lost in his anger and bitter... bitterness. There's no room for anybody else." He's all choked up he can hardly talk. Elena hugs him.
Sue Ellen stomps into J.R.'s room and gives him a good, hard slap. She says she's done with him hurting their son. All he cares about is being on top. That's why he fell into such a depression after losing Southfork. "And when it all fell apart, you realized you had nothing," she says. He grins at her. "Well, I'm back, honey, and I'm gonna be than ever." She sighs. "And you still have nothing." He doesn't look so happy anymore.
Sue Ellen chats with Ann, who tries to comfort her with delicious muffins. Alas, Sue Ellen is worried about more than just J.R.'s latest shenanigans. She's also got Harris Ryland breathing down her neck. She explains the whole deal to Ann. At the end of it, she asks, "I would have made a good governor, don't you think?" Ann says, "You would have been a great governor." She makes a mental note to fry Harris Ryland's bacon.
J.R. hobbles into his office and thinks for a long time. Carmen comes in. "Mr. Bobby wants to see you." J.R. stays put, so Carmen adds, "Miss Ann is gone." Hee. J.R. goes up to chat with his baby bro. "I admit, I have lapses where I do wrong every now and then," he says. "No," Bobby says, "your lapses are when you do right." It's just in his nature, Bobby says. J.R. looks a tiny bit hurt and changes the subject to Bobby's medical condition. Well, he tries to, but Bobby interrupts him. "J.R., I love you, no matter what." J.R. tries to act all tough, but he's clearly very touched. Bobby knows it, too.
John Ross, Christopher and Elena hang out in the kitchen, drinking beer and musing over the Ewing family problems. They think Ewing Oil would be bigger than Exxon if not for all the fighting. Suddenly, Christopher realizes he and John Ross could be working together. John Ross thinks he's drunk. They hash things out off-screen, then come to Bobby with their big idea, as well as an IOU for the first share of Ewing Energies. Bobby is confused. "Christopher and I have decided to go into business together," John Ross explains. "With Elena as a business partner." What a terrible, terrible idea. At first Bobby thinks they're joking, because who doesn't like to kid around with a guy who could die at any moment? Christopher says he and John Ross will be equal partners so there won't be any fighting. Except over Elena. "We thought it was time for a little peace for this family," Christopher says. Bobby is skeptical at first, but ends up wishing them all well.
J.R. drinks some whiskey, and then signs the deed before he can change his mind. Bobby's asleep, so J.R. leaves it on his bed. He doesn't get all the way back out the door before Bobby stirs and calls him back. The soundtrack here is just lovely, by the way. Bobby's stunned to see the deed. "You're welcome," J.R. says brightly. "No need to get emotional!" "You're still not off the hook for how you got this in the first place," Bobby says. J.R. smiles. "If you die, I'll get that back." It looks creepy on paper, but J.R. doesn't say it in a threatening way.
Rebecca gets a call from Tommy, who's still pressuring her for the key card. "You owe me," he says. She hangs up on him and goes to get a gun out of her safe deposit box. At the same time, Tommy meets with Frank again at the bar. He tries to explain himself, but Frank cuts him off. "Your services are no longer required." Tommy chases after him and Frank handily shoves him into the counter. "Forget my name," Frank says. There's a guy standing right there, pretending not to notice anything.
Bobby gets a call from his lawyer, who tells him they finally have a lead on Veronica/Marta. They've found a cloud storage service she used. They don't have access yet, but apparently she had gigabytes of documents and videos. It's probably mostly just boring sex tapes. The lawyer says if they find what they're looking for it'll void the deal and get them off the hook with the Venezuelans. "The question is," says the lawyer, "if we find proof J.R. was part of the fraud, are you ready to send your brother to jail for it?" Bobby thinks hard. His aneurysm swells like an overfilled water balloon. Finally, he says, "Tell me what you find." As soon as he hangs up, he starts having another seizure. At the sound of his monitors blaring, everyone rushes into the room and finds him flailing about. The ambulance rushes him off to the hospital.
Rebecca opens her door to find Tommy standing there. She's surprised, even though there's a peephole in the door. He backhands her and forces his way inside. "I was fine with the little cons I was pulling," he says. "Then you show up, wiggle your ass, tell me I'm gonna make millions off this Texas oil kid..." Rebecca doesn't seem smart enough to have masterminded this whole thing, but whatever. Tommy knocks her around, pushes her onto the bed. She gets away from him, grabs the gun out of her purse. She begs him to leave. Instead of backing off, he tries to grab the gun. Rebecca must be a lot stronger than she looks, because he has to put up quite a struggle. The gun goes off. Blood spatters those monkey toys. Who was shot? It's not quite the "Who shot J.R.?" cliffhanger of old, but it'll do for now.
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