Chuck continues looking for Orion, and his search eventually leads Orion to find him. Fulcrum agent Vincent (aka The Mummy) also finds Chuck, and Chuck's slightly less excited about this. Turns out Fulcrum and Agent Redhead are both looking for Orion; the government is tricking Chuck into leading him to Orion. He does, but Fulcrum gets there first, and nabs Orion. Orion sends a big plane/weapon to kill himself so that he won't have to be in Fulcrum's hands. Bad news for Chuck, except that Orion left him a secret package, including a disc and some blueprints for Fulcrum's new Intersect. On the disc, computerized Orion told Chuck not to tell anyone, but to search for Fulcrum's new Intersect, which is the only way he'll be able to get that pesky one stuck in his head out. Sarah shows up, and Chuck tells her he trusts her, but he doesn't mention anything about his new knowledge. Oh, and we get to see Agent Redhead in person (she's tiny!), since she comes to visit, telling Chuck he needs to actually step up and admit he's a spy, since he's gotten them closer to Fulcrum than anyone else ever has.
The Buy More plotline involves a war between the Burbank and Beverly Hills stores. There's some slight crossover when Jeff and Lester steal Chuck's computer from Orion, and almost get themselves and then the Beverly Hills store blown up. Chuck stops them just in time, but then Big Mike takes the computer, thinking it's a fancy new laptop the Buy More will sell. When it's stolen (by Fulcrum), the Buy More crew blames the Beverly Hills store, and they retaliate by breaking in and vandalizing the opposing store. It's silly and adds nothing, especially when the stakes are so high in the primary storyline.
Chuck, Sarah, and Casey are all dressed in jumpsuits as they walk into the courtyard at Chuck's apartment. Chuck would like to vote that they never do actual plumbing on any future missions, and Sarah seconds that motion. Casey accuses Sarah of going soft, but then says, "Whatever," since they got the intel Agent Redhead wanted. He holds up a plastic bag with something in it. Sarah asks Chuck if he needs to change at Casey's, but he tells her Ellie and Awesome are out of town so he can shower at their place. So, apparently, he is living with Sarah? Or pretending to? He asks Sarah if she's heard anything from Agent Redhead about Orion, but Sarah tells him that these things take time. He asks if Agent Redhead asks how important it is, since finding Orion could mean Chuck could get the secrets out of his head and go back to his old life. Chuck asks if that's what Sarah wants, too, and she says of course she does. She tells Chuck to leave the search for Orion up to everyone else; that he should get some sleep.
Cut to Chuck's room, where he's doing some sort of automated search, because he himself is apparently a brilliant analyst. He has the back of his Tron poster at the ready. He's on a laptop, but the webcam comes on on the computer behind him, so he turns around and wonders why it's on. Someone's looking at him through the computer. We head to the place where said person is sitting and typing something into a panel on his arm. No, really. We don't see his face, but he hears a commotion. By the time a group of guys in dark suits storms in, the room's empty. The head dark suit, who is also The Mummy, says to alert Fulcrum that Orion's gone. The computer asks if he wants a drink since it's been a hard day for Fulcrum and it's going to get worse. The place starts shaking and we see a bright light as The Mummy backs out of the room.
The white turns into a heavily toilet-papered Buy More. Lester thinks the bright side is that he doesn't have to buy toilet paper for awhile. Jeff's all, "Why start now?" They wonder who did this until a jerk walks in and comments on someone finally cleaning up the store. It's "Assistant Manager Barclay," from the Beverly Hills Buy More. He and his Buy More cronies are more preppie because their green shirts are V-neck sweaters, and they all have white collared shirts underneath. Nice touch. Chuck calls Barclay "Bar-Clay," and asks if they did this. They admit nothing, though they think that being in Burbank is sort of a crime. Big Mike and Buster Bluth come in, and explain that Barclay's upset that this store is getting some new laptop first. Like this is really the type of thing Buy More employees care about it. It's really not. Barclay and his cronies leave, and Big Mike tells his guys there will be no retaliations. Then he yells at them to clean this place up.
Chuck goes to the Nerd Herd desk and the computer acts funky. It starts talking to him, all, "I know everything. You're the intersect. We have to meet." Chuck asks why they're meeting and it says, "Because I'm Orion." It then says the computer's not secure for long, so he's sending one of his for Chuck. It goes back to the Nerd Herd screensaver, and Chuck tries to get it to go back to Orion. Just then Sarah walks up and asks what's wrong. He says there's something he should tell her.
Before long, we're all at Castle, where Chuck's being yelled at by Agent Redhead for finding Orion. Chuck tries to say Orion found him, using a cool hack, but she interrupts, asking how it's possible. Chuck says it probably has to do with his search, in which he put together everything he knows about Fulcrum and Orion in an automated web search. Casey tells Chuck that's not how this works -- him doing his own searches. Agent Redhead asks what Orion said. Chuck says he knows Chuck's the Intersect, and is going to send him a computer. Agent Redhead asks where it's going, but Chuck didn't nail down the details. She wants it locked down, since they're -gen computers, capable of unlocking military weapons. "God help us if it falls into the wrong hands."
And we all know what that means, right? Just then it arrives at the Buy More, and Lester signs for it, thinking it's the newfangled laptop that the Beverly Hills Buy More-ites are so jealous about. He pretends to be Chuck and tells the delivery guy to leave it with him.
Frantic music as Sarah and Chuck see if the computer's arrived. It hasn't, according to whatever clipboard Chuck reads. Sarah asks Chuck why he didn't tell her. She says that his search was rogue. He adds, "And I didn't tell you." He tells her he wants to get this out of his head and have a chance at a real life, and he's not sure the CIA and NSA will be cool with it. She says he should have trusted her.
Lester leads Morgan into the men's room, where they make small talk about "Jeff's office." Lester talks Morgan into going in there. It's a bathroom stall with an "Out of Order" sign. Morgan goes in with Lester, and we see it's completely decked out with posters and a lava lamp and dart board. And I don't see a toilet anywhere. Morgan is creeped out and wants to leave, but Lester keeps him there. They show him the computer, which is like nothing Lester's ever seen before. He geeks about titanium, liquid cool, and something "housing." They want to check it out, but want Morgan there so Big Mike won't freak, because they figure he can't come down too hard on ... "his boy." They turn it on, and it says, "Identify." They say they can't, so it asks if they're in danger. Morgan says, "You better believe it," so it asks them to pinpoint their target. Jeff thinks it's a simulator game, which they love, so they decide to target the Buy More. A scary looking military plane starts flying toward them.
At Castle, Casey has the pilot's eye view of the plane, which he tells Sarah and Chuck is a Predator Drone. He says that someone's taken control of it. Chuck says to please not say the target is Buy More, but Casey says it is. He thinks the Predator Drone is the computer Orion promised to send. Casey and Sarah go to evacuate the Buy More, and ask Chuck to stay and watch its progress at Castle. In Jeff's office, Jeff says this feels like flying a real Predator Drone, which he finds boring. He gives it three stars. Lester thinks he's a cretin, because of the details, which are incredible. Morgan wonders why they're targeting their own store instead of a certain Beverly Hills location. They change direction, which Chuck sees at Castle. He tells them the new target intersection, which Casey identifies as Beverly Hills Buy More. That rings false to me. I'd think Chuck would know that information before Casey would. Chuck quickly realizes who would be targeting the other store, and tells Casey and Sarah to look for Morgan.
Chuck's leaving Morgan a message as he arrives at the Buy More. Casey wants to know which one of them he can kill first when he finds them. Chuck calls again and Morgan answers, since Chuck never calls twice. Morgan tells Chuck they're in Chuck's office playing with a computer. Chuck tells them to stop, so Morgan gets off the phone and tries to, but Lester fights it. Chuck comes in and gets the computer. He shuts off the Predator Drone (don't ask me how) as Casey and Sarah barge in. Chuck tells Sarah she's in the little boys' room, so she leaves. When all the guys come out of the bathroom with the computer, Big Mike wonders if that's his laptop. Chuck says no, but Morgan says it is. He tells them it's his fault. Big Mike takes it and says that no one touches it until it goes on display tomorrow, since they can't screw this up.
Big Mike's office: Mike tells Buster to stand guard tonight so that no one can get close to the computer. Buster's totally on it. Meanwhile, Jeff and Lester ogle the computer through the window of Big Mike's office. Jeff says stealing it's an after-hours job. At a different office window, Casey, Sarah, and Chuck decide they'll rob the Buy More tonight, too.
The Mummy is in a black room in a dark suit, with a spotlight shining on him. A disembodied voice calls him Vincent and says it's glad he survived "the Hong Kong incident." The Mummy says they found Orion, and now they found another computer matching the signal of the one he used in Hong Kong (if it were that easy, how did they not find him sooner? And more often?). He says it originated from a retail store in Burbank. A different voice asks if it's a Buy More, as we see a row of three people in dark suits, covered in shadows. They explain to him that the store is believed to be a CIA substation since they've lost Fulcrum operatives there. A woman in the row says the risk is too great. The Mummy says he will do it on his own if not with their support, since he can't let this go.
Buster's on Buy More watch duty, pretending he's an Old West lawman. He calls Shane, Marshall Dillon, and Eastwood "little girls in comparison to Milbarge." Isn't Shane actually a little boy? Casey, Sarah, and Chuck come into the viewing room through the floor. Casey wants Chuck to come with the plan for once. Chuck's going to hit Big Mike's office, where the combination is in the desk (Casey can't believe this), while Casey and Sarah distract Buster. Sarah and Casey pull out their guns, but Chuck says there are no guns in his plan. Chuck says Buster's annoying, but they cannot shoot, tranq or karate chop him in any way. Sarah looks at Casey and says, "You put him in charge."
Chuck sneaks across the store as Sarah and Casey make little noises here and there. Buster hilariously shouts, "That better not be a rat," as if a rat would be listening, able to understand English, and then know to run into hiding at those words. Buster then talks to himself that he's hearing things "just like Fresno." Can we get his backstory sometime, please? We see Lester and Jeff, also inside, in black suits and ski masks. Lester wants a diversion, so Jeff says he'll throw his voice. He "ca-caws," and Buster sort of squawks in response. They seem to be worried he's coming their direction so they take off. But Buster's freaked himself, telling himself there's only seven hours to go.
Chuck's in the office, so he tells Casey on the radio that he's almost done. Lester comes up behind Casey, thinking it's Jeff. He yells at him about how bad the throwing his voice thing went. Casey growls under his ski mask. Jeff finds Sarah, thinks it's Lester, and tells her how scared he is. He thinks he peed his pants. I think you would know that pretty definitively, actually. Chuck's rummaging through Big Mike's desk. Just then, another ski-masked bandit comes in through the roof. It's The Mummy. Chuck gets into the safe to get the laptop, but turns and comes face to face with The Mummy's weapon. Lester and Jeff keep babbling to Casey and Sarah. Then Jeff finds the real Lester, and Lester wonders who Casey is. They run, and Buster sprays them with Pepper Spray. Buster's all, "Bring it on, bitches," and Casey comes out and elbows him. Sarah scolds him, but he says he had to do it. Chuck says, "Guys," and they turn to see him with The Mummy pointing guns at him. The Mummy tells them to drop their guns, but Chuck explains he forbade them from packing. The Mummy asks why he'd do that, and Chuck says they make things too easy, and he likes his spies tough. The Mummy says it would be unprofessional not to shoot one of them, but Casey pulls out a gun and shoots The Mummy first. Chuck's shocked: "You had a gun?!" But Casey says he always has a gun. He is totally my hero. The Mummy takes a poison pill and foams at the mouth. Chuck says he didn't need to see that.
Morgan's in his bed at his mom's (didn't he move in with Anna?) playing Air Supply and listening to Big Mike and his mom making out. Big Mike's phone rings, and he bangs on the wall and tells Morgan to wake up, since there's trouble at the store. Morgan: "Oh, thank God," then his mom asks Big Mike if there's time for a quickie.
At Castle, our gang wonders how The Mummy knew about the computer, and who else knows about it. Chuck grabs the laptop and says they can get some answers, but Agent Redhead pops up on the screen and tells him not to touch that computer. She says he wasn't contacted by Orion, but by Fulcrum. Her analysts believe Chuck walked into a Fulcrum trap. She says he put the whole operation in jeopardy. Chuck protests that the laptop might be the only way to contact Orion, so she has Casey grab the laptop. She says they can't take that risk. Her NSA technicians will inspect the computer. Chuck asks Sarah, "Please," but she says she's sorry, "Orders." Agent Redhead says she's coming in person to take over this operation since they've messed up so badly. She's hoping not to shut down Operation Bartowski because of one mistake, but if Fulcrum knows who he is, he should pack his bags and be prepared to leave with her. She says, "Tell your family and friends ... Tell them nothing." Is it just me, or is Agent Redhead one of the best recurring characters on TV right now?
Chuck's in the courtyard rehearsing what he will say to Agent Redhead to get her to help him find Orion using the laptop. Sarah and Casey come out and tell him the laptop is being contained. Chuck says he's certain this is really Orion, and not Fulcrum, and if he could get just "five to forty-five minutes" with her, he could convince the general. That's quite a range, there. Sarah says she doesn't want to see Chuck, and asks him to wait in his room. We hear her arrive with an entourage. Chuck apologizes to Sarah for not telling her about his search, but she says it's okay and says she'll explain it to Agent Redhead.
At the Buy More, Buster's telling Big Mike about the highly professional team (thirty or forty of them) who stormed the store and took the laptop. Lester and Jeff run up and say they came as soon as they heard, but Big Mike says no one called them. Lester's crying. He tells them that after the tab was closed at their bar, they saw the commotion. Big Mike tells Morgan they can't let Barclay get away with this. Big Mike asks to see Buster's face, which he's been hiding under an ice pack. It's all bruised up, so Big Mike says they'll go to Beverly Hills tonight, where he will get in with his managers' code and burn that "mother loving" store to the ground. The five of them march, astronaut-like, in slow motion. Morgan asks what they're doing, and Big Mike says, "Payback," which will be illegal.
Chuck's laying in bed as Orion's trying to wake him up with words on a computer screen. Then he calls. He has a disguised voice, and asks where his computer is. Chuck says his handlers took it, thinking he's Fulcrum. He says he's not so sure himself. Orion tells him he's not, and displays symbols that shows him breakfast, a dinosaur, an old movie, and some other gibberish. Chuck asks how he knew that was in there, and Orion says he put it there a long time ago. Chuck totally believes him.
Agent Redhead makes fun of Casey's Reagan picture and then tells Sarah and Casey she lied to Chuck. Really, he's done what no one else can do: He found Orion. Sarah asks why lie to him, since Orion is so important to this project, and to Chuck. Agent Redhead yells at Sarah not to tell her what's important, since she's been looking for Orion since Sarah was in a training bra. She says that they've been searching for him forever, and so has Fulcrum, but no one has found him until Chuck came along.
Still on the phone, Orion tells Chuck he has to leave. Chuck says he can't, since he's being heavily guarded by agents and his handlers are in a high-level meeting. Orion says not to trust them, and shows him supposed evidence of this on his computer. It's footage of the conversation going on in Casey's apartment. Chuck's first comment is how tiny Agent Redhead is. And she really is. Casey exposits so Chuck knows that they all know that Chuck found the real Orion. Sarah asks Agent Redhead what if Orion can erase the Intersect from Chuck's mind, but Agent Redhead says that's not what she wants, because he's vital to national security. She asks Sarah if she understands. She hesitates, and says "Yes." Agent Redhead can see she's not sure about that answer and asks her, "What?" Chuck, however, is much more of an idiot and can't see what the whole world can: that Sarah doesn't mean it. But she repeats to Agent Redhead that she understands. Chuck's all, "Sarah, no." Oh my word, he is an idiot. Also, how did Orion know this conversation would happen, since this is presumably a live feed? Anyway, Orion tells Chuck to go now, while surveillance is down for forty seconds and he somehow has the agents distracted. Chuck leaves his watch and goes.
He arrives in Castle, where he opens up the laptop, which tells him to "Identify" and "Hold very still." It IDs him as Chuck and then a computerized version of Orion starts talking to Chuck, as The Mummy starts unzipping himself from a body bag in the background. Chuck tells Orion he wants the Intersect out of his head, and they set up a meeting in an hour. Orion puts the address on the screen, saying they have much to discuss. He closes with "Orion, out." Chuck weakly says, "Chuck, out." And then The Mummy, who's found a gun already, has it pointed at Chuck, who can't believe he's not dead.
The Mummy explains the modified poison extracted from blowfish that he ingested earlier. Fulcrum agents are taught to survive its near death. Chuck says that sounds like a fun class, but The Mummy says, "Not really." Chuck gets up when told to, and spins the computer table around when doing so. It looks intentional to those of us who know Chuck, but The Mummy doesn't.
At Casey's, Sarah's sitting sadly apart from Casey and Agent Redhead, who's saying she doesn't care what Chuck thinks he wants; she wants Orion. Sarah stands up and says that Chuck has risked his life for this country, but he's not a spy and he knows it. Agent Redhead says he's a spy until she says he's not. Sarah says that Chuck knows Orion's out there and he's not going to just sit in his room and do what they tell him. Realization flashes across her face. She asks where Chuck is, so Casey checks his watch GPS, which has him in his room. Sarah says this is Chuck, who would have come up with some excuse to come out and meet Agent Redhead. Casey agrees, adding that Chuck's a social butterfly by nature. They check his room cam, and no one's there. They check Castle, where they see him being led out at gunpoint by The Mummy. They run the tape back and see the computer screen address that Chuck spun to leave them a clue.
Big Mike and his crew arrive at Beverly Hills, where he lets them in and shuts off the security cameras. Buster thinks it's the most beautiful Buy More ever. He loves how clean and fresh it is, like ... Jeff helps: "Douches." Chuck pulls out his fiddle case, which has bats in it. Morgan tries to stop him from doing anything destructive, and suggests talking instead of this. Morgan thinks since Buster was the one hurt, they should give him the bat. Buster takes it and swings it dangerously, so everyone ducks. He wonders what to hit first and decides on a lifesized cardboard Barclay. He misses the first time he swings for it, of course. When he hits it and knocks it over, though, it dominoes basically every shelf of DVDs in the place. He's all, "Oh god," and Big Mike tells them to run now. They do.
Chuck's in a room with The Mummy, who asks him how long he's known Orion. Chuck says he doesn't know him. The Mummy asks if he's CIA, and Chuck says yes, that he's Carmichael. The Mummy's heard of him, because Orion was coming out of the cold for him, which is excellent work. The Mummy's been after him for three years and wants to know Chuck's secret. Someone radios to The Mummy that someone's approaching from the east, so he tells Chuck to stand by the window where Orion can see him. The computer asks "Is it safe?" and The Mummy tells Chuck to tell him it is. He shows him pictures of Sarah, Ellie, and Awesome to get him to obey. Back at the window, he sees a guy in a suit, and we see someone punch an arm pad like Orion's. The Mummy tells his guys to take him, and we get a gibberish message on the computer that seems to be trying to say, "Run Chuck!" The Mummy wants him taken to the roof, since the chopper's on its way.
Casey and Sarah show up then, and see Chuck in the window. The Mummy points a gun at Chuck's head, which Sarah and Casey see, so Chuck backs away from the window, putting The Mummy in full view of the window. The Mummy tells Chuck he's been cooperative, but unfortunately he'll have to shoot him. Chuck says it would be unprofessional not to. The Mummy nods, but Sarah and/or Casey shoot him first. He takes off running. Chuck picks up the laptop and runs out. He heads toward the roof, even though Casey and Sarah try to stop him. He says Orion's his last chance. They get up there as the chopper's leaving. Chuck opens up his computer, which says "Emergency Protocol." Casey gets a message in his ear from Agent Redhead, who tells him the Predator's coming toward them. Chuck thinks he can reprogram the Predator, but they try to tell him he can't fix this one. He wants to save Orion, but the Predator comes in and hits the chopper, blowing it up. Chuck's exasperated.
Back at Castle, Agent Redhead is saying that it's better Orion didn't fall into Fulcrum's hands; that he knew what they would do to him, what they would gain. Chuck asks Agent Redhead if she wants the intersect out of his head, and she says she doesn't. Sarah says Chuck's done everything they've asked of him. Agent Redhead tells Sarah she knows she wants to protect Chuck, but play time is over. Agent Redhead tells Chuck that she hesitates to say this. Chuck asks her to please hesitate. Agent Redhead says they're in the middle of a secret war with Fulcrum and they believe the outcome will rest squarely on Chuck's shoulders. Casey: "Oy." Chuck asks her to listen to Casey. She asks Chuck if he knows how many agents she's lost to Fulcrum, how powerful they are. She says only this operation, only Chuck, has found a hole in their armor. She tells him she can't lose him; she needs him; it's time for him to become a spy.
Big Mike and the gang celebrate in the morning at the Buy More, when Barclay comes in and tells them they went too far. He says they won't because it's not the Buy More way. He talks tough as his gang stands behind him. It's very West Side Story. Barclay tells them that he won't call the cops, but speaking for his store and Beverly Hills, they don't approve of his methods. They leave. Big Mike thanks Morgan for stopping him from using the bat last night, since things are bad enough around here. Morgan asks why, and Big Mike says there are rumors about a store in the area closing, since times are tough. Morgan says they can't let that happen. Big Mike tells him not to worry, because they won't.
Chuck's in his bed again. He lays down and something crunches. He finds a packet under his pillow that includes some papers and a disc. He pops it in his computer and Orion comes on the screen. He tells Chuck that if he's watching this, it means something happened to him. (So, he put it there knowing something would happen? Or that wasn't really Orion that got killed and this is some sort of elaborate setup/plan/scheme/mission?) Orion hopes he was able to meet Chuck and tell him his real name (if he really hoped that, wouldn't he tell him now?). He says the cards Chuck's holding are the schematics for the new intersect, which Orion stole from Fulcrum. He tells Chuck to study them, but not to show anyone. He will need to know them if he wants to get the intersect out of his head, which is possible: If he finds Fulcrum's intersect, he'll get his whole life back. He says goodbye and that this disc will self-destruct in five seconds. He adds he's always wanted to say that. And the disc does burn up inside the computer.
Sarah comes in the Morgan Door. Chuck tells her Agent Redhead was wrong: He's not a spy. Sarah says Agent Redhead sees things in black and white, but she was right about them being in the middle of a fight with Fulcrum. Chuck gets that, but he says this isn't his future. It's just what he's doing now. But he will get his life back. Sarah says of course he will. She says they're still a good team, and asks if he trusts them. He says he trusts her, but pushes his schematics behind his back. She says she's on his side. He knows. She says she better go, and he agrees he's a little beat. She goes out the Morgan door, and he looks sadly after her.
At Castle, Agent Redhead asks Casey if Sarah's on board with this mission. He says she is, and he has no reservations about how she feels toward the asset. Agent Redhead wants everything Casey has on Sarah and Chuck: video surveillance and his unedited report. He asks her if she trusts him, and she says she doesn't trust anybody. They watch Chuck, who's laying on his bed reading comic books (couldn't they have seen him watch the video on his computer, which is right there in the frame? Gah! The lack of rule-following this episode is maddening). We zoom in on Chuck, and see he's reading the new intersect schematics, which are placed inside his comic. Oldest trick in the book.
Monday, Sarah's replaced with Tricia Helfer. But Sarah's not going to leave quietly, and might even kick Tricia's Cylon ass.
DeAnn is a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon. You can contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com.
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