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Chuck is back, and it's as good as it ever was. Better, even, thanks to one Dominic Monaghan playing the rock star that perhaps Charlie used to be before ending up on that damn island. The 3D is mildly enjoyable, but it's really Charlie who steals the episode. I still say this episode deserved the post-Super Bowl spot, because The Office doesn't really need the audience boost or the exposure, whereas Chuck does. But I digress. Back to the episode...
Chuck's still acting all weird because he saw Sarah kill that unarmed Fulcrum agent at Christmas. He's having nightmares and everything, in which she tries to kill him with a great big chef's knife. He could really use a day, or several, off. Unfortunately, that's not about to happen anytime soon, because he spots a guy with a grenade at the Buy More while a bunch of people are standing in line to buy tickets to a Tyler Martin concert. Tyler Martin is Charlie, and he's channeling awesome Toby from Rock Star: Supernova, a show I never would have imagined that I would reference in any context in my life ever, but oh well. Besides, Toby's totally worth referencing again, even if the show should be forgettable.
Chuck, Sarah and Casey quickly find out -- through conversations with Agent Redhead and Chuck's flashes -- that Charlie is the target, and they eventually figure out that the reason is that he has multiple tattoos that mean bad things about foreign countries. Charlie thinks they're all meaningful, and are about the charity work he doesn't actually care about. But they're actually about nuclear reactors, thus causing people to want to kill him for some reason. I'm not totally clear on it, and maybe I will be when I rewatch the episode again to weecap, or maybe not. But that's not all that important anyway.
What matters is that Charlie is hilarious. He is a total rock star caricature, poking fun at the egos, good humanitarian deeds, and basically everything else that's stereotypical celebrity/rock star. And he totally grows to love Chuck, because ... well, who doesn't? He takes him out partying, they almost hook up with some evil weapons hotties, but Chuck manages to get Charlie out of there and then escape by hanging on the outside of an elevator. Casey keeps shooting Charlie with tranquilizers, but the rock star is totally immune and just finds them to be a totally amazing high. So then Charlie's concert comes and Charlie and Chuck body-surf their way to safety from the bad guy. And then Sarah and Casey swoop in and basically break every bone in the guy's body
Charlie leaves, but not before saying goodbye to Chuck and being awesome for a little bit longer (can he come back soon, please?). And then Chuck tells Sarah what's been bugging him: He saw her shoot the agent. She feels bad that he saw it, but stands by it, since she did it to protect him and his family. He knows, but he's just not used to this world. She then gives him as much time off as needs, then she and Casey start to leave for a mission. But Chuck, realizing now that she knows he doesn't need time off, joins them.
In Buy More land, Morgan, Lester, Jeff, and Jerome Bettis compete in a series of backroom competitions/product placement setups to get backstage passes to Tyler Martin's show. Bettis loses, but they give them to him out of pity. He sells them for $8,000 and leaves, never to be seen again, surely. Oh, and Buster Bluth totally says, "No touching!"
Want more? The full recap starts right below!After a long break -- just long enough for the world to forget this show -- we're back. Joshua Gomez tells us all to please put on our 3D glasses. Before anyone asks, yes, I watched the episode in 3D before writing the recaplet. And, no, I'm not going to weecap in 3D. I think that would probably kill my eyes. And my marriage, since my husband already discovered, during the first viewing of the episode, that I am even geekier than he realized. I don't know why he thought that, though. It couldn't have been that I kept pointing out the 3D portions, stopping to rewind, asking him to put on my 3D glasses, and then playing it for him. No, not that. Anyway, one more thing: Sobe should stick to beverages, because their 3D glasses suck. I thought they were dirty and kept trying to clean them, but nope: They just sucked. At least they look cool. Right?
We open with Chuck having a nightmare about Sarah shooting the Fulcrum agent at Christmas. Then he wakes up, only it's the still-in-the-dream waking up that happens all the time on TV, but never in my real life. He looks up and a sexy, lingerie-clad Sarah is trying to seduce him. He apologizes to her for not having more respect for women, which he usually does, even in his dreams. Ha. Only Chuck would apologize for not respecting a woman in a sexy dream.
He tells her he saw her shoot the agent, and that he needs to have this conversation in real life, not in a dream. She's all, "This isn't a dream, Chuck." Then ... wait for it. "It's a nightmare." And she wields a sharp kitchen knife and thrusts it toward him, all scary movie style. This should have been one of those cool 3D moments, but this is no Journey to the Center of the Earth so the knife didn't come out of my TV toward me at all. What a letdown. The morning, Ellie and Awesome tease Chuck about screaming in his sleep. "Like a little girl." They pry, as usual, but Chuck won't tell them what's up. As usual. Though they do put the bug in his ear that he needs a day off, and he totally wants one.
When Chuck shows up at the Buy More, there's a huge line of crazed fans waiting for someone named Tyler Martin, whom we will call Charlie, because he is Charlie from Lost -- you know, from the band Driveshaft (yes, I know it's actually Dominic Monaghan, an actor who has been in other things; but he will be Charlie in this weecap). Morgan explains to Chuck that Charlie is some crazy rock star, and that he's coming to the Buy More, so they essentially have the day off. Morgan's never actually heard Charlie play, but he knows that Large Mart pulled the plug on his promotional appearance because of a sex tape.
But just as Morgan finishes telling Chuck how little they'll have to do, Big Mike calls Morgan in and eats a 3D donut while he tells Morgan that he has a special job for him: Taking on their new hire and teaching him everything he knows (that shouldn't take long). The catch is that said new hire is Big Mike's old football buddy, who recently made parole. Morgan's not so sure they should be hiring an ex-con, but Big Mike's not about to start listening to Morgan. Or answering his questions about prison.
Back at the line, Buster Bluth's trying to keep everything in order by laying out some rules: No flash photography, no approaching Charlie, and "No touching!" Then he storms off and a totally inconspicuous guy in a long trench coat, black baseball cap and dark sunglasses ducks out of the line. Nobody notices him, though, because that is the international costume of regular, everyday people who are not at all suspicious. Oh, wait, that's not true. Chuck spots him immediately, and flashes on the grenade he's dropping off. Chuck hides and calls Casey and Sarah on his watch. Sarah says she's coming toward the store, but Casey's there, so he comes to help. They find the grenade, and Casey tries to take it out the back, but all sorts of obstacles stand in the way. Namely: Lester, who's mad that Casey knocked over his life-sized cardboard Charlie; and Jeff, who doesn't want Casey treating Lester like that. Chuck tries to pass the grenade box to Casey, but Morgan intercepts it, all, "Why are we playing keep-away?" It's silly, but amusing, as most things Morgan-related are wont to be. He runs off with it, but runs straight toward Jerome Bettis (aka "the Bus"), who totally knocks him down. I love that they worked grenade "football" into the Bus's storyline. Who would have thought that was possible in this show?
Obviously, Chuck and Casey ultimately get the box back, as the clock counts down. They make it to the back, where Sarah greets them. With little time before it blows, they put the box inside a safe, inside a refrigerator, in a storage room. Then Casey leans against the door and the blast is barely a blip. After it explodes, Sarah says, "Good morning, Chuck." How cute. And then 3D credits. I did enjoy that they made the credits 3D. If only they would have, oh, I don't know, put it on after the Super Bowl. Not that I'm bitter or a whiner or anything, but The Office is not at risk of cancellation, and already is liked by everyone who's ever going to like it, I would wager. There are a lot of people who haven't discovered Chuck.
Agent Redhead is on her LCD in the Secret Spy Lair, asking why someone would want to kill Charlie. Chuck explains that it's because he totally sucks, and has terrible lyrics, and that there's even a Facebook group called "I want to kill Tyler Martin." Not that Chuck's a member or anything. I'm not going to go through all the members of the group to verify or anything. I trust him. Chuck fills Agent Redhead in on the type of grenade the bad guy left behind. Turns out it's military that's commonly used by North African military units. Coincidentally, Charlie just finished a tour there. Agent Redhead would like them to get him alone and question him, please.
Just then, he's entering the Buy More in the craziest rock star outfit imaginable. It's like what would happen if Fall Out Boy had a baby with, like, Ashlee Simpson. You know: Trying to be hard-core, but just ... not. He's a total cliché of our modern-day rock stars, and I love that, because I hate today's "rock stars." So I need them to be parodied and made fun of, thus creating a reason for their existence that I can live with. It's even slow motion while he walks in. And all of the fan girls (and Jeff and Lester) are giddy with joy at seeing Charlie in person. Charlie climbs onto the Nerd Herd counter and says, "Hello, Cleveland!" Ha. Total rock star move. Everyone is silent and someone's all, "Uh, this is Burbank." Charlie: "Oh, whatever." He then thanks all of the humanitarians who have affected his work: "Mother Teresa. Nelson Mandela -- God rest his soul. And my personal favorite, Angelina Jolie." Lester is practically squealing with joy. Charlie then reveals that he's putting a golden ticket inside a CD, which is good for a back stage pass to his benefit concert tomorrow night. Just like Willy Wonka!
Charlie's manager tries to tell him how good "this" will be for his brand (this appearance at the Buy More? How so?) while Chuck wonders how they'll grab him with security crawling all over the place. But Sarah and Charlie aren't paying attention to the people talking to them because she's making sexy faces at Charlie, finding a quick and easy way to get him alone. He obviously quickly takes the bait, because she's Sarah and he's a rock star. Before you can say "Live Aid," he's following Sarah into the back room. She tells him she's a fan, and he asks if she's a model, actress, massage therapist, or acrobat. She says she can be whatever he wants, and Chuck (hiding with Casey) makes a gagging noise. Charlie's all, "I think we've got a pervert," but before he finds them, Casey shoots him with a tranquilizer.
He's still sleeping in a chair at Casey's place, and Casey's telling Chuck he used a high grade and heavy dose of tranquilizer, so Charlie will be out for 12 to 24 hours. Just then Charlie wakes up and says that jet lag is brutal. He starts ogling Sarah again, but doesn't have time before Casey shoots him with another tranq. Casey and Sarah are going to find the suspect's car in the Buy More parking lot, since it was spotted on camera. And they'd like Chuck to stay and make sure Charlie doesn't choke on his own tongue. They assume he doesn't have plans, which offends him.
Casey and Sarah apparently found the car and then traced it to a location, because they're entering a place that is sort of a too-neat shrine to Charlie while they talk about what's up with Chuck. Casey thinks he has a point about not getting any days off (not that he'll tell Chuck that he agrees with him), but Sarah thinks it's something else since he's been acting weird since the holidays. They find the "crime scene" to be too neat and orderly for a fan boy, so figure they're dealing with a pro.
In the back room at the Buy More, Jeff, Lester, Morgan and the Bus are opening CDs, looking for the golden ticket. They all claim to be fans (except Morgan, who isn't sure this is right with all of those actual fans wanting to buy the CDs). They make small talk about prison, and Morgan finds the golden ticket. They all totally love him all of a sudden, because he can only bring a plus-one. Morgan says they'll settle this the Buy More way, which we all know will not lead to anything pleasant.
Chuck walks to the window and when he turns around, Charlie's gone. He can't believe it, and heads out into the courtyard, where Charlie's peeing in the fountain. In another hilarious rock star moment, Charlie tells Chuck how nice this bathroom is, and that the ceiling looks just like the night sky. Hee. Chuck points out that it is the night sky, and Charlie turns toward him without stopping his urine or anything, asking "Have I made a mistake?" Um, so far, many mistakes. He doesn't wait for Chuck's response, though. Instead he wants to know who Chuck is and where they are. Chuck tells him his real name, but says he works for the record label. He says there was a death threat against Charlie earlier so they moved him to this secured location. Charlie wants to leave, but Chuck says he has to stay the night. Charlie's all, "No, no, Jack." And then says he gets death threats all the time, but this is party night: Tuesday. Chuck's going to call his boss, but Charlie throws Chuck's phone into the fountain/urinal. Then Charlie tells Chuck that if he hasn't noticed yet, he was just asked to party with a rock star. Chuck can't resist the offer, and they head out.
They're in a way-too-well-lit night club, where Charlie is forcing shots on Chuck, explaining that he might be a rum-soaked narcissist, but he's also the best wingman Chuck will ever have. Well, so far the competition is Bryce (stole Jill), Morgan (dork) and Casey (cold), so I think that is possibly, sadly true (unless Awesome has ever been Chuck's wingman, because he would be awesome at it, of course). Charlie gets a phone call from his manager. He tells him he's with Chuck, and the manager says he's never heard of him. Chuck says, "I've never heard of him," and Charlie buys it and repeats it to the manager, which is pretty smart thinking on Chuck's part.
Back at the Buy More, the competition to be Morgan's plus-one is underway (is there a reason it's not just Anna?). The first challenge is the Molly Ringwald underpants challenge, in which someone must present Morgan with a pair of women's underpants. Before he finishes the sentence, though, the Bus has ripped Lester's underpants off and handed them to Morgan. Lester's all, "I'm a man," and the Bus looks genuinely surprised, but Morgan says he is going to accept these. Lester steps out of the competition.
Casey and Sarah arrive back at his apartment to find Chuck and Charlie have gone missing. That's because Chuck and Charlie are busy partying. Charlie explains to Chuck that he needs a tattoo, because ladies love a little bit of ink. He then says, "Whenever I do something amazing -- you know, feed the starving, help the homeless, rescue some emaciated refugee -- I map it out here on my body." It's funny because he says all these things while sort of waving them off with his hands, because it's so clear he doesn't care. And it's even funnier with his accent. Chuck asks him how he keeps track of them, and Charlie makes a feeble attempt, then says his manager takes care of that. A couple brunettes come up and introduce themselves. Charlie says that Chuck's in his band, so Chuck fakes an accent and basically calls himself the Little Drummer Boy, complete with "Rum pum pum pum." The brunettes steal them away from the girls they've been sitting with, and they dance. Chuck stops using his accent, and the ladies don't care at all.
Back at the Buy more, round two of the competition is a Subway product placement competition, in which the Bus and Jeff compete in eating one of those giant party subs. Whoever gets to the middle first wins. There is no drama or excitement or anything resembling a plot, but Jeff wins. That's all you need to know. Oh, and that it's really disgusting.
Casey and Sarah have traced Chuck's signal to the club, where they find the trench-coated guy and chase him outside. They point their guns at him, but he shows them his trench coat is filled with grenades. He also tells them he sent some friends to Charlie, so he's still in danger. Casey wants to stay and die with the bad guy, but Sarah says they have to go get Chuck.
Back in the club, Chuck flashes on a necklace that one of the brunettes is wearing and it says "weapons expert." Charlie wants to go to his hotel room with the brunettes, but Chuck tells him it's not a good idea. Of course, that won't go over well.
More competition at the Buy More. For round three, Morgan brings in the urinal cake. He starts to speak slowly as he sets it on the table between the Bus and Jeff. Morgan gets out, "Okay, here's the deal: The winner will be the first one of you..." when Jeff picks up the urinal cake and takes a bite out of it. Literal toilet humor, yet somehow funny. I love this show. Morgan's all, "Dude, what is wrong with you? You were just supposed to touch it." Jeff thinks he still wins, though. Buster Bluth comes in and wants to know who stole the urinal cakes, because he splashed himself silly. I don't even understand what that means, but then, I don't use a urinal.
In Charlie's penthouse hotel room -- which is apparently the same building as the club? I don't know. I guess it doesn't matter -- Chuck manages to get Charlie alone and tell him the women are very dangerous, but Charlie tells Chuck not to worry because he always uses protection, but he appreciates Chuck looking out for him. Chuck asks him to please just once deny himself this pleasure. Charlie agrees that Chuck needs this much more and locks Chuck in the room with the brunettes. They want to know where Charlie is, and guess Chuck will have to go first. They take off Chuck's pants and shoes, and then they pull weapons out of their boots. Chuck runs out and shuts the door just as they throw their little knives, which stick in the door by his head. He runs outside and ends up on the roof. He calls Sarah on his watch and tells her where he is, but it's too late. The brunettes (who are totally robotic) are there, too. They throw more knives, but he jumps off just in time, and lands on the elevator, which is glass and external to the building, so people can see outside while they ride it. Chuck asks the people in it to press lobby, but they instead run out in fear? Yeah, a guy who is completely helpless and desperate is so scary. The brunettes come in then, and it looks like there's no escape for Chuck. Then Charlie comes and asks if the brunettes are ready for him. They point a gun, but first Casey arrives and shoots him with a tranq. Sarah and Casey fight with the brunettes, and then look at Chuck, who says, "Lobby!"
As they're dragging tranquilized Charlie back into Casey's apartment, Sarah and Casey are lecturing Chuck on his decision to go out with Charlie instead of following their instructions. Technically, he did follow the instructions: He stayed with Charlie and kept him from swallowing his own tongue. That's what they asked, so they should be grateful he did such a good job staying with Charlie, shouldn't they? Right then, Charlie wakes up again asking where he was and how he was. Casey tells him they're with the government, to protect him. Charlie remembers the brunettes and the guns, and says he needs to call his manager. Sarah thinks that's a bad idea, but Charlie starts to insist. Until, that is, Casey shoots him with another tranq. Chuck tells him to stop that or he'll give Charlie brain damage or liver problems. Casey: "Too late on both counts." As Charlie falls forward and his shirt falls down, Chuck sees a giant tattoo on his back and flashes on it. It's not Arabic philosophy, but a clear message about a nuclear reactor. They quickly realize the manager is having the tattoo artists put secret messages on Charlie for transport. Not that this makes sense, but then, neither does Chuck being the Intersect, so let's just go with it. Casey calls Charlie an idiot, and Chuck sticks up for him. Sarah takes Casey's side and Charlie starts going on about how he was trying not to be a spy, and to have a little bit of fun with Charlie. He wants a night off, and goes on and on about it, until Casey shoots him with a tranq, explaining to Sarah that his ears couldn't take it.
Jeff's super excited about the backstage passes, but Morgan's watching the Bus buy a bottle of juice from a soda machine. He savors it and drinks it like it's the best thing ever. Morgan's sympathy for the Bus gets the best of him: He and Jeff are giving the Bus the backstage pass, his ticket to freedom, apparently. Morgan will make it up to Jeff with a keg of anything he wants. Jeff: "It's called beer. Beer brand."
Back in the Secret Spy Lair, Agent Redhead is telling them who the bad guy is: Achmed Gambir, a top foot soldier in a North African private army. He's the key to bringing down this army, so they'd like Charlie on stage tonight as bait. They tell Agent Redhead Charlie won't go on, but she wants them to convince him. Chuck is against it, but Casey and Sarah tell him he has to do it. Sarah asks Chuck what's the matter with him, because she can tell that this is about more than wanting a night off. They pep talk Chuck with talk of protecting people and making the world a better place, and he says he'll do it.
Charlie's playing air piano (or, actually, table piano) when Chuck comes in. Charlie says he's not okay at all, since he doesn't know where he is and someone is trying to kill him. But he adds: "On the plus side, your friend's tranqs are out of this world." Casey, watching it on a monitor, growls. Charlie's never been in a situation like this, since he's lived his life avoiding anything real. Charlie asks Chuck what he wants him to do, and Chuck asks him to perform tonight. Charlie thinks it's madness, but Chuck gives him a much better pep talk than the professionals just gave him. He tells him he'd give anything for one night of bravery in exchange for a lifetime of normalcy. Chuck says Charlie can trust them because he does, and he stakes his life on it every day. It's sort of cheesy, but we quickly move on to Charlie accepting by saying, "Hello, Cleveland." When Chuck tells him it's Burbank, Charlie says, "I'm dyslexic."
At the Buy More, the Bus thanks Morgan, Jeff, and Lester for giving him the golden ticket, acting like it means so much to him, then he sells it to one of the background Buy More employees, for $800. The guys are annoyed and disappointed, but get back to work.
The concert's about to start. Chuck's in the dressing room with Charlie, when Casey tells him they've spotted Achmed. But it's a guy who Achmed paid to wear the outfit. They see a bunch of others, too. Achmed's not even in the outfit and, besides, he's already backstage and killing guards. He knocks on the door, and Chuck goes to the door. He sees it's Achmed, and tells Charlie. Charlie can't believe this, since Chuck told him they were safe. He drinks. Chuck tells him to hide in the closet, and that he'll deal with Achmed. To Charlie's credit, he does worry about leaving Chuck out there. I love that they developed this cute little friendship over the course of one episode. Chuck tells Charlie to take off his shirt before he gets in the closet. Achmed starts trying to knock the door in. Chuck tells Sarah what's up over the watchsponder, and then starts to tell her what's been bothering him when Achmed knocks him down with the door. Chuck pretends he doesn't know where Charlie is, but Achmed quickly realizes he must be in the closet. Chuck admits that it was a horrible plan, but then Chuck says he knows about the tattoo and what it means, and shows him an email with a picture of it on his iPhone. If Achmed takes another step, he'll send it, proving the cell is mightier than the sword, "or very large knife, in this case."
Charlie comes out of the closet to help Chuck and says he can't let Chuck do this for him. Chuck's like, "Uh, my plan was totally working, idiot," only in nicer words. But Charlie hits Achmed with a cymbal and then they take off running. And Charlie's wearing, like, a red marching band jacket. They end up on stage, and the fans go wild, of course. Sarah can't believe they're on stage. Achmed is coming menacingly toward them with his knife showing, so Charlie tells Chuck to jump. They both do, and it's body surfing time -- one of the benefits of being on a stage in front of rock concert fans in case of a crisis. They float around up there as Casey and Sarah look for Achmed. They find him and kill him. Seriously: they break his arm and then his neck. The sound effects are icky. Chuck cheers on this murder, as opposed to the Fulcrum agent, though I'm not sure why. The fans put Charlie back on stage, but drop Chuck.
Big Mike asks where the Bus went, and Morgan says he took off. Then he asks Big Mike if the Bus was in prison for robbery, murder, or what. The big reveal is that the Bus was a white-collar criminal, in for insider trading. Morgan feels like an idiot, but he shouldn't; we all stereotyped him, most likely, since we were just following the rules of TV logic, which would have had him be mean and strong, not sneaky and smart.
Charlie is in the courtyard of Chuck's apartment saying he can't believe his manager got arrested. Casey asks him if he realizes that he must get the tattoos removed. He does, but he would like to talk to Casey about getting more of his "tasty tranq darts." Casey calls him a Philistine and walks off. That gives Chuck and Charlie time to say goodbye. Charlie thanks Chuck for teaching him to put people in front of myself, which he thinks felt kind of wonderful. He tells Chuck that if he ever wants to party, he knows who to call. Chuck doesn't think that's his scene, and Charlie thinks he's smart. But I don't, because I'd like for us to have an opportunity to see more of Charlie. He is so great on this, and especially because he and Chuck are so good together. Sarah comes in and tells him his limo is waiting, calling him by name. He's surprised she knows his name, and asks if they slept together. Heh. She's all, "Ew. No." He tells them goodbye and leaves.
Leaving Sarah and Chuck to wrap things up in a matter of minutes. She asks him to tell her what's up, since he's not supposed to keep secrets from her -- just everyone else. He immediately comes clean, saying he saw her shoot the Fulcrum agent, and that when he asked her about it, she lied. She says she has to protect him. He says he knows that; he gets that she was protecting him, his family, his friends, but the guy was unarmed. She explains that the agent knew who Chuck was and she had to do it to keep everyone safe. Then she tells him to take some time off: tonight, tomorrow, as much as he needs. He can't believe it. She tells him they'll still be here when he's ready to come back. Casey comes out with duffel bags and he and Sarah head out for a new mission. Chuck's all, "What? A new mission?" And, even though she tells him they have it covered and even though Casey's so excited to not have Chuck around, Chuck joins them in the car before they leave. He didn't want time off after all, I guess.
I like this episode because of Charlie, but I think this stuff at the end happened too fast. Well, I actually don't think it should have ever been a big deal at all, but since they chose to make it one, they should not have wrapped it up so quickly. I guess it was just the show's way of keeping Sarah and Chuck apart again, since they were drifting together before the break. Now, because Chuck's been distant, we're supposed to assume it's back to square whatever? They have to, at some point, actually move forward (or backward; or even sideways) in a real way, or this cycle is going to get Ross-and-Rachel repetitive. And no one wants that.
DeAnn is a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon. You can contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com.
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