Chuck, Sarah, Morgan, Elie, and CA are sitting around playing something that's similar in concept to The Newlywed Game; CA is hilarious, of course, for the two seconds he's on screen. Morgan knows Chuck's likes and dislikes better than any girlfriend could ever hope to, which is about 25% funny, 10% endearing, and 65 % creepy. Also, at some point when Chuck was young, Elie told him that their springer spaniel ran away, when in fact he was hit by a car. Hee. Poor Chuck. Sarah picks the olives off her pizza, and then when the question comes up about who in the world Chuck hates the most, he tries to cover, but Morgan is like, "Bryce Larkin, duh!" Good thing CIA agents are trained to deal with the awkward. Morgan goes on at length about Chuck's history with Bryce, concluding, "If Chuck is Solo, Larkin is his Fett!" Does that mean Boba Fett nailed Princess Leia? That must have happened on one of the DVD extras. They seem to be being watched, both inside and after they leave; outside, Chuck asks Sarah about Bryce. Sarah says they were partners but not really friends, which I think we're pretty clear isn't true. Chuck also tries to use their crappy performance in the game to discuss what they should say about their sex life to the people who think they're dating. Sarah: "We're taking it slow." Chuck does not respond: "Ain't that the truth."
When Sarah's alone, she feeds her goldfish, and then she turns on the shower -- and cottons on to the fact she's being watched. She and an intruder dressed in a very similar outfit to the one Sarah wore when she tried to steal Chuck's hard drive back in the first episode have a short fight. But when her assailant, lying on the floor, reaches past her gun to right the overturned fishbowl, Sarah realizes that this isn't what it seems. It turns out her attacker is a red-haired DEA agent she knows who's going by "Carina" -- she's planning to steal a diamond, and she informs Sarah that Sarah's going to help her. Sarah, dripping blood from her nose: "Couldn't you just have called?" Sure, but then the stunt coordinator would have been awfully bored.
The day, Carina is waiting outside Chuck's apartment. His brain IDs her, but then he goes into Casey's apartment, where Sarah and Casey are getting orders from Tony Todd and the red-haired general. Tony Todd allows Chuck to listen in; the diamond they're after is heavily guarded in the "Malibu compound" of some guy named Payman Alahi. They call them "cribs" out this way, Tony Todd. But please don't kill me for telling you that. Alahi is apparently an international financier for "the opium cartel," which is why the DEA is involved here. They need to take Chuck for his "intersect data" on Alahi's alarm system, and then they'll set up the grab for the following day. Neither Sarah nor Casey trusts Carina, Casey because of some undisclosed incident in Prague about which he seems kind of squirmy. Tony Todd says they have intel that the diamond is going to be moved within 72 hours, so they all need to get on the stick, but everyone agrees that Carina should not be allowed possession of the diamond under any circumstances.
In the courtyard, Carina asks if this is Sarah's team, but Casey corrects her that it's his. Carina: "Hello, Casey. Nice to see you with your pants on." I'm going to have to disagree. Sarah tells Carina that Chuck is an "analyst," which I suppose is true, in that he regularly has to make sense of the images that run through his brain at the speed of sound. Morgan then appears, and Sarah whispers to Carina that he's a civilian before introducing them. Morgan kisses her hand...
...and then he's telling the UnderNerds about the whole thing. Chuck has to rain on his parade by mentioning that she called him "Martin" instead of Morgan, but Morgan thinks that was no big deal. I certainly believe he's been called a lot worse by Elie alone. A Harry Tang alert is called, sending Morgan scurrying away; once he's gone, Lester asks Chuck how Chuck's supposed to get "any female friction with [Morgan] third-wheeling [him] all the time?" Despite what certain online dictionaries may say, the correct expression is "fifth wheel," Lester. I know Sars really likes this show, but she is pissed at you right now for that Dawson's-esque fuck-up. Chuck, however, focuses on another issue, asking if Lester couldn't just say "sex" instead of "female friction." Lester: "I could, it's just...it lacks...flavor." Heh.
When Sarah won't tell Carina Chuck's real deal, Carina expresses her condolences about Bryce, and basically tells us that Sarah was his girlfriend. Carina then goes to talk to Chuck herself, and Sarah is stopped from following by her boss, who tells her he needs two eyes on the rotating hot dog machine. Heh, but I have the feeling it's going to be your two eyes stuck on the ends of the little metal things, Geek Boy. Over at Buy More, Morgan and his poor, pathetic hopes of Getting Some From Mini Anden (the supermodel who plays Carina) get in her way at first, but Chuck sees her. However, Sarah catches up to Carina, and while the two of them talk, Morgan asks Chuck to fix him up with Carina. Chuck thinks that is an nth-degree bad idea, but Morgan tells him that if he can get Sarah, just about anything's possible. Lester nods sagely, prompting Chuck to give him a hilariously put out "WTF?" face. Even though Chuck is really way too cute for Morgan's statement to be true, Zachary Levi completely sold that. Anyway, Morgan cajoles Chuck enough that he gives in, which is how I'm thinking they got to be friends. He goes over to interrupt the slow claw-measuring that's going on between Carina and Sarah and pulls Sarah away; he urges her to say no before relaying Morgan's request for her to set him up with Carina. Sarah, however, seeing an opportunity to piss off her rival, gets a big smile on her face and says that's a great idea, flummoxing poor Chuck. I think he's thinking that he wants the two hot girls to himself, but Chuck, I feel like I have to tell you that I really don't think you can handle them. Not that Morgan can remotely handle Carina, but that is not your problem. Anyway, Sarah tells Carina that in order to protect Chuck's cover, she's going on a double date with Morgan. Carina is unfazed, showing that you really do have to be brave to be a spy.
Back at Chuck's, Carina is telling Sarah and Chuck (but really Sarah; this entire scene is a veiled catfight between them) that they're the cutest couple ever. Carina then asks how they met, and when Morgan relates the story of Sarah coming into the store with the broken cell phone, Carina double-meanings, "A lot of people who meet at work end up dating." Ouch, Carina, given that you were just consoling Sarah on Bryce's death, that shit hurts. On the other hand, we might as well start getting her ready for the revelation that Casey killed her boyfriend. Anyway, Sarah doesn't take the bait and suggests they watch a movie, but Morgan wants to get to know Carina. Carina tells him he's so cute, and amazingly, Morgan retains his powers of speech.
When the boys retire to the kitchen to get the Domino's (I love that stuff too, but I hope two nights in a row isn't indicative of your normal diet), Sarah asks what Carina's doing, but Carina says she's just giving the kid a thrill. "This place is like...if a yawn could yawn." Heh. Sarah, however, says she's good there. Cut to them watching March Of The Penguins; Morgan keeps hitting on Carina, to Chuck's dismay, and when Morgan asks where the last place Carina traveled to was, Chuck snaps that it was Argentina.
Later, Chuck is in bed and gets woken up by his phone -- it's Morgan, in Chuck's courtyard, asking if Carina has called yet. Come on, dude. I know you've probably never been laid, but it's 4 AM. If it's that urgent, hit up the twenty-four-hour drugstore for some Astroglide and then go to sleep like the rest of us. After Chuck hangs up on Morgan twice, his phone rings again, and he chews Morgan out, only to follow up with this: "And hello to you too, ma'am. Yes, I am the on-call Nerd Herder for all Nerd Herd computer emergencies." Damn, that is beat action, there. I mean, doctors have to do this too, but they make slightly more than eleven bucks an hour. Chuck asks what her room number is...
...and then he's knocking on a hotel door, which is answered by...Carina. That's of course pretty predictable, but I can forgive it, because it lets me see exactly how far Chuck is capable of bugging out his eyes. Inside, Carina pours some champagne as Chuck holds up his Nerd Herd briefcase like he's warding off an evil spirit. If that's normal behavior for you, Chuck, it explains a lot of your lack of female friction. Carina tells him she doesn't have a computer. You see, she lied to get him over there, as she knows he's really an agent -- only people with a G-6 clearance or higher know about Argentina. She takes off her robe to reveal a red bra and panties and starts her dance of seduction before spilling that Bryce was Sarah's boyfriend. Chuck trades one Error 404 for another.
In Wienerlicious, Sarah is brightly outlining how the mission is going to go down as Chuck stares glumly at a hot dog on a stick. Yup, after Domino's, those things just don't do it for me either. Chuck, however, is brooding about the Bryce revelation, and Sarah notices his lack of affect. But when Sarah tells him to stick close to her, as Carina can't be trusted, Chuck jumps to entirely the wrong conclusion, thinking that she was lying about Bryce. When Sarah learns about Chuck's rendezvous with Carina the night before, she gets serious and asks what Carina told him; Chuck goes from ecstatic to nervous to devastated, as Sarah's unable to lie to him about the Bryce revelation. Sarah's boss bugs her to get back to work, prompting her to make a thinly veiled threat about accidents in the kitchen. She sits back down and tells Chuck that her relationship with Bryce was "complicated." Chuck: "I thought you were supposed to be good at lying." Wow, for being in a fake relationship, Chuck does "hot nerd with hurt feelings" awfully convincingly.
Malibu! Sun, pool, lots of chicks in bathing suits -- you know the drill. Chuck looks the part in a white cotton sport jacket over black t-shirt; he's hanging with Carina, who tells him that he's probably heard she takes risks, but what he might not know is that she's about the best around, and he can trust her. She points out Alahi, whom Chuck calls "Senor Wookiee" due to the amazing carpeting he has all over his body. Hey, Chuck, given that you've already been called Han Solo, you may end up flying the Millenium Falcon around the galaxy with Hairy Hugh Hefner over there. Carina sends Chuck to get a drink, and he passes by Sarah without a word. Maybe I'm way off, but I don't think that's part of their cover. Sarah relays her recon work to Carina, but then asks why she told Chuck about Bryce. Carina tells her they're on a mission: "Try keeping your private life and work life separate for a change." Says the woman who traumatized Casey so much that he's barely in this episode. Sarah goes over to Chuck and asks if they're okay; he unconvincingly says yes, and then gives her some recon work of his own about the security cameras, only it didn't come from his brain. "They sell them at the spy shop in the Buy More plaza." Hee. Nerds can be hot. And they can be Morgan.
Oh, there's Casey! He's dressed up like a chauffeur, and some big bouncer-looking guy asks him for a light. Casey intones that smoking can be hazardous to one's health. The guy walks away, and Casey adds, "Pick up a paper. From the sixties." I see Casey watches Mad Men too.
Carina leads Sarah and Chuck into an unguarded area. Chuck: "So I guess if this was you and Bryce, you'd be sneaking into the bedroom, huh, Sarah?" I feel like Chuck's going through his own version of the stages of grief here, and he's up to "being bitchy." I kind of hope he stays stuck on this one for a while. Carina uses some electronic codebreaker to get into the room where the diamond is displayed, but it's only a few seconds after that when Alahi and two armed guards appear. Alahi asks if they like his diamond, and Sarah ditzes that yes, they do! Spy training or no, I'm thinking she won't be able to sell that line if he asks her about his Speedo. But Sarah sells the ditz persona with the aid of a flat Midwestern accent, and when Carina gets in on the act, Alahi is charmed and calls off his goons. Of course, there's no way two ditzes from the Midwest would have been so cavalier about having guns pointed at them, but I'm too glad not to be seeing the Speedo anymore to care.
After Alahi tells them that legend says whoever owns the diamond rules the world, in answer to Carina's question, he tells them that if anyone touches it, the vault will seal itself off and gas will fill the room, and then his security team will "eliminate the threat." He leads Sarah out to grossly hit on her; when they're gone, Chuck gets a vision from the diamond, which shows that it's protected by 20,000 volts of electricity. When Carina asks him for a recommendation, he suggests using compressed air to knock it off the pedestal. Carina, deciding to "improvise," grabs a nearby fire extinguisher and shoots the diamond off its resting position; it goes flying, and Chuck catches it, but not without knocking over a heavy bust, which crashes loudly to the ground. The walls, as promised, start to come down, but Carina kicks another pedestal under it to prevent it from closing all the way. Outside, Sarah takes down Alahi; Carina then runs into a slide under the door. Sarah snits that this was only supposed to be recon, and then they deal with the guards as Chuck escapes with the diamond. The three of them go running outside, with all the commotion not slowing down the bitchery between Sarah and Carina one bit. You can't let life and death distract you from a good fight. At one point, a guy is about to shoot Chuck, but Sarah grabs a dinner plate from someone and chucks it right into his head. Remind me not to play Ultimate against her. Or with her, for that matter. Sarah calls Casey via the two-way Dick Tracy-style radio in her watch; she gives him the short version and tells him to meet them on the beach. The smoking security guy comes running toward the house, but Casey trips him and then knocks him out. He sees a large ATV to him and gets A Mischievous Look.
The three of them run to the beach; Carina tells Chuck to give her the stone while he and Sarah escape. Sarah cautions him not to, but he's still pissed at her, so he tosses Carina the bag with the diamond in it. Unfortunately, after thanking him, she presses a remote activator which causes a jet-ski to pop up out of the water, and she makes a run for it as Sarah bleats, "You planned this?" Well, I hope so, because if that thing just appeared when she pushed any old random button, she's luckier than anyone deserves to be. She makes her getaway as Chuck stares in disbelief. Yes, Chuck, one spy lying was bad enough, but a second one as well? What is this world coming to?
Two goons appear and start running at Sarah and Chuck with guns drawn, but Casey finally appears and holds the goons off as Sarah and Chuck get in. Sarah chews Chuck out, saying that she's got to be able to trust him on a mission even if he's pissed at her. Which, if I were Chuck, would make me wonder what else she's going to spring on me, but I have been known to be paranoid at times. Casey speculates that Carina will turn the diamond in to her bosses and "move up the DEA's covert ranks." Sarah changes into her Wienerlicious outfit as she gripes, "If I call in sick again, I'll get canned!" Hee. Carina then calls for no reason, but when she's off, Casey says he'll go after her, as the NSA has a trace on her phone. He then catches Chuck trying to peek at Sarah in the rearview mirror, and flips it away from him: "Eyes up front, soldier." Chuck's answering sputters of protest are giggle-worthy.
Carina's returning to her hotel (is...your stuff really worth it at this point?); Morgan's waiting for her with flowers in the lobby (okay, that's kind of nice), but she blows right by without noticing him. Upstairs, she hears the squeal of tires, and goes over to the window to see Casey striding purposefully toward the entrance. Cut to her running down the hallway to the elevator...which contains Morgan. She asks, "Martin?" Morgan: "Yeah, sure!" Hee. Casey then emerges from the stairwell, gun drawn, so Carina grabs Morgan and kisses him long while surreptitiously dropping the diamond into his messenger bag. She then pushes him back into the elevator while apologizing that it's not going to work out, as she's got "this old relationship thing." The doors close, and Casey apprehends her...
...and back in her room, he starts tearing up the place, but she assures him she doesn't have it, although he's welcome to look anywhere he likes. In fact, she says as she once again sheds her outerwear, "Why don't you start with me?" Casey literally drops what he's doing, which: Hee. I just hope Morgan doesn't come back to try again.
At Buy More, Sarah comes running in and tells Chuck she hasn't heard from Casey for an hour (...wow) and says she's going over to Carina's hotel, adding that Chuck should stay home that night. He asks if he's off the team, but no -- he's just benched, although they will have to talk about what happened. When she's gone, Lester asks if someone has a headache tonight. Chuck: "Yeah. That would be me." Aw.
Chuck's playing video games in his room while Morgan tells him what happened with Carina; it's just as well Chuck's facing away from him, because the "No, SERIOUSLY?" look on Chuck's face when the part about the kiss comes up is enough for even Morgan to take offense to. Chuck goes to get more soda, and Morgan tells him to get a new video game he bought out of his bag. It's not that I wouldn't want to spend a long afternoon with Adam Baldwin, but you'd think Carina would have remembered to come for the diamond at some point.
Sarah stealthily breaks into Carina's hotel room -- to find Casey gagged and tied to the bed. HA! Even better: Sarah amusedly observes that it's "just like Prague," and Casey, through the gag, is like, "Thts veh veh fnny." Sarah snaps a picture, which: HEE.
Chuck finds the diamond and gets a flash of some things that look kind of bad. He repeats the business about the person who owns the diamond ruling the world, and then calls Sarah in a panic, as the diamond actually belongs to an Afghani terrorist group. However, Sarah isn't in a chatty mood, as she's got numerous guns trained on her by Alahi and his goons. She tells Chuck to find Carina and tell her to bring her the diamond. "Please."
Chuck is returning to Morgan when Carina, back in her masked catsuit, appears before him and wordlessly demands the diamond. He tries to run, but she easily catches up with him using some acrobatic moves; in desperation, he copies Sarah's move and chucks (heh) the pizza plate he's holding at her head, which she doesn't completely avoid and thus yelps, "Ow!" Chuck places her voice, so she takes off her mask. He tries to get her to help Sarah, but she's not interested until he brings up the fact that Sarah saved her life in Pakistan. He hands over the diamond, but says he's going to help Sarah anyway, and she gives it back and tells him to hold onto it, in case she changes her mind. No one can resist the earnestness of the Hot Gay Nerd! Not in my experience, anyway.
Alahi is telling Sarah that he was holding the diamond for "a very grouchy, dangerous friend" of his. I have a few of those. He leads Sarah away somewhere, and his goon blows smoke in Casey's face. Hee.
Carina is choosing her weapons du jour as she tells Chuck that field agents like her and Sarah "shed identities like people shed clothes." Chuck: "In your case, that's quite often." Hot, geeky, and saved me the trouble of making that comment myself. Any wonder I'm enamored of him? She goes on that a spy doesn't let anyone know anything about her. "No matter who you are."
Carina and Chuck enter the lobby; she tells him to carry the diamond and says she'll act as intermediary, and also propositions him. Can't say I really blame her.
Casey breaks part of the bed frame free while his guard is in the can; when the guard comes out, Casey slams it into his face, knocking him unconscious. He gives us a rare unfunny line, so I'm going to cover by wondering if the DEA is going to charge the NSA for the hotel security deposit.
In the lobby, Sarah is sitting in a chair with guns pointed at her from all directions; Chuck and Carina appear, and there's a little dance. Carina then takes the diamond and dares Alahi to get it from her. He points out that everyone in the room is with him, but Carina and Sarah say something to each other in a foreign language, and then they're fighting. Um...did everyone forget that thing called a "trigger"? That was pretty ridiculous, even for this show. Anyway, Carina tosses the diamond to Sarah, but she drops it and Chuck picks it up. Hilarious cut to Casey, who's in the elevator with the handcuffs and piece of bed frame still attached to his wrists. He's managed to put pants on, although I think I already made it clear how I feel about that. Downstairs, the women are slowly winning, but Chuck is forced to run when a goon comes after him; he locks himself in an office and gets on the computer, and when the goon finally breaks the door, he finds that Chuck has printed out a FedEx label and stuck the diamond in an envelope, which he's threatening to drop down the wall chute. This ploy manages to hold the guy off until Casey appears and clocks him in the head from behind; unfortunately, in the commotion, Chuck drops the envelope anyway. Casey sees Chuck's consternation and is like, "What." Chuck tries to play it off with a "What?" of his own. Heh.
Chuck, Sarah, and Casey are getting debriefed; General Red and Tony Todd tell them that Alahi's network has fallen apart, and they were also able to thwart a big missile purchase his group was planning on buying. They then get a delivery of a FedEx package, and Tony Todd shakes it and looks at Chuck: "You didn't." Hee.
Carina says goodbye to everyone, making fun of Casey's four-leaf-clover underwear, prompting him to turn tail and run. Sarah makes a date to talk to Chuck, and then leaves herself. Carina then invites Chuck back to her hotel room again; she says he's kind of cute, but admits that she really loves taking what Sarah wants. Chuck's like, "Who? Me? What? Where?" and Carina speculates that Sarah herself isn't yet aware she wants Chuck, but Carina knows better. Chuck watches her go, a little happily...
...and then he's showing up at Sarah's with pizza, with no olives, which is the one thing he really knows about her. She invites him in, and he apologizes about the beach, and also about Bryce, saying that he always got the great girls. He does say, though, that he wishes he knew something real about her, and begs her to tell him one true thing -- where she grew up, her real name, even her middle name! When she stays silent, his face threatens to break, but he covers by going to get the napkins. When he's safely across the room, she stage-whispers so he can't hear: "Lisa. My middle name is Lisa." At this rate, we'll have all three of your names by season's end, missy!