Tehran, Iran. Two people are critiquing a painting that looks suspiciously like Monet's "Waterlilies." They both announce that it is ugly. Then they die. Take that, art critics! The ugly painting is boxed up and shipped to L.A. More people die. The painting is mocked further. Chuck has a gun aimed at him. By a five-year-old. Ha! He and the kid are playing an overly violent video game on Buy More's television selling floor. The angry Asian salesman who hates Chuck -- let's call him Angry Man -- interrupts his, um, work and tells him that Big Mike wants to see him. Big Mike asks Chuck what he wants. Chuck asks if he means existentially or what. Big Mike definitely does not mean existentially. He wants to know if Chuck really wants to be his assistant manager. If so, he needs to prove it. In the casting-couch kind of way, Big Mike? Big Mike takes Chuck into the back storage room and points to a giant pile of desiccated PC detritus. Big Mike says that if Chuck wants to show he is serious about his job, he needs to fix all those computers in two days. Oh, Big Mike! You ask too much! There's no way Chuck will be able to fix all those computers in two days!
Chuck calls his team into the storeroom. He calls them "guys" and then realizes that he has a woman on the team and apologizes. The team brainstorms on new names: Fellow Nerd Herders? Chuck's Stable of Hos? Geek Squad? ...Oh, wait. Morgan comes in to offer his support to the team as they embark on their difficult repair mission. Morgan claims that he would be helping, but he lacks the skill set. And the stature, but that's a different storyline. Morgan also brings the news that Sarah is waiting for Chuck and that she is looking hottttt. Chuck heads out to the floor of the store, and the camera goes all slo-mo, and Sarah is there looking positively weinerlicious in her weinerfrau outfit. She demands a kiss, because they have gone on three dates and they have to sell it. Chuck unconvincingly kisses her on the cheek and claims to have a problem with PDA. Sarah grabs him by the hand, saying they should go somewhere more private, then. They head to the home-theater display for some serious spy-on-spy necking, but Casey chuckblocks and meets them there to play chaperone. Sarah and Casey argue about something, and Chuck asks, "Mom, Dad can we get on with it? We have hard drives to fix." Sarah puts four photos down on the coffee table, and Chuck asks why the people in the pictures are sleeping. Aw, cute! Chuck's a moron! Casey snerks and states the obvious fact that they are not sleeping. Casey and Sarah ask Chuck if the photos trigger anything. Chuck stares at the photos, but nothing happens. They are interrupted by some guy with a paper laying dibs on the couch for naptime. The headline on the newspaper catches Chuck's eye. He flashes on something about an art auction, a painting, and a page from a dossier that says "La Ciudad." Chuck asks if they know anyone by that name. They exchange some looks and say that La Ciudad is a killer. They don't know what the killer looks like, because no one has ever seen a photo, and whoever has seen La Ciudad always ends up dead.
Back on the home front, Elie is all excited about her brother's potential rise to assistant-managerial stature. She knows that he could do so much more with his life. He went to Stanford! Chuck feels compelled to point out that he was unceremoniously expelled from said Stanford during his senior year. Curiouser and curiouser. Sarah wants to know what his plans are for his life. Where does he see himself in five years? Ten years? I see someone has been talking to Big Mike.
Sarah and Casey are talking to their NSA/CIA contacts (oh, hello, Candyman! You still scare the pants off of me). The red-headed NSA general lady says that she is glad that Casey is settled into Chuck's apartment building. Uh, why? Is she going to send a fern as a housewarming present? She then warns them that if this is La Ciudad, they should be very careful, because no one has ever survived an interaction. Huh. I wonder where this is going.
The show cuts to Morgan and Elie in Elie's living room, arguing about Chuck's future. Morgan is convinced that Chuck is just a fragile little gelding unprepared for the world. Elie snorts and asks, "Do you know what a gelding is?" Morgan smirks, "Yeah, it's that weird creature from The Dark Crystal." Nice! It is so hard to find a good Dark Crystal reference these days!
We cut back to Casey's apartment, where the spies are still on their conference call. They aren't sure how to proceed, because no one knows what La Ciudad looks like, so it will be impossible to catch him. Casey suggests bringing Chuck to the soiree, but Sarah won't hear of it. The general or whatever she is says she's heard enough. They're putting Chuck in the field. He's their only hope. Oh, hijinks are SO going to ensue!
Now back to Chuck's house. Captain Awesome sits down to join the debate. He puts his arm around Chuck and announces that what Chuck needs is a near-death experience. A taste of his own mortality. (Gosh, I wonder what's coming.) Elie is not convinced, and Morgan announces that Captain Awesome is way off the reservation, which is insulting to Native Americans. I think. Maybe it's not. Captain Awesome suggests that he and Chuck should go whitewater rafting down some crazy dangerous river or something. Because apparently, a near-death experience is awesome. Chuck demurs, saying, "My wetsuit is at the dry cleaners." Heh. Elie points out that Chuck hasn't said a word (um, yeah, he just said his wetsuit was at the dry cleaners, which is, like, six words). She asks him what he wants to do. Chuck wants to go to his room. He walks in and shrieks because Casey is staring in at him. He congratulates Chuck, because he just got his first mission. Hope you're ready for the real world.
Back at Buy More, Chuck is grilling Casey about the attire required for a spy gig. Can he wear sneakers? Casey explains that they rented him a tux. Chuck doesn't know how they knew his size. Casey tells him that, duh, they're NSA, and they hacked into the computer and got his rental information from prom night. Chuck looks horrified, but Casey laughs. He just checked the size on the suits in his closet. Oh, ha ha. Spy humor. Chuck wants to know what La Ciudad looks like, and Casey points out that if they knew, they wouldn't need him and there would be no point to this entire episode. Chuck then wants to make sure that if it comes to fisticuffs, Casey has his back. Casey most definitely does, but Casey wants to make sure that Chuck knows how to tango. It's really important, and Casey definitely is not joking. He does not joke about tango. Chuck looks concerned.
As Chuck gets ready for his big date, the burdens of being in the running to be the assistant store manager weigh him down. Luckily, he has a supportive Morgan, who tells him not to worry and that he will make sure the computers get fixed. Chuck just has to promise that the time he has a big date, Chuck has to cover for him. Chuck agrees, because that is one debt that will never ever come due -- it's like borrowing money from your parents! Morgan pats Chuck on the back and sends him off. He looks almost wistful as he opines that Chuck has the career and the girl. Chuck goes to meet Sarah at Wienerlicious. I do not tire of typing that word. Wienerlicious. Wienerlicious. They go over his cover story. Sarah says that the best ones are simple and easy to remember. Chuck has his story all ready: He's a Stanford grad. A business mogul with a hugely successful software company. And an entrant in the Davis Cup. Sarah sort of stares at him, and Chuck explains that when he first entered Stanford, that was the life he envisioned for himself. Except for the sailing part, which is new. But his dreams were shattered when he got kicked out of Stanford after Bryce found a bunch of stolen tests under his bed and felt compelled to tell the administration. Sarah asks if the tests were his. Chuck looks offended and says that he is a good guy. So the mystery of his expulsion deepens. Chuck sighs and then sort of laughs that then, Bryce sent him a whole bunch of government secrets that are now encoded in his brain.
As Chuck is getting ready for his so-called date, he asks his sister if she knows how to tango. Instead of answering, she asks, "You're tangoing on a date? You're reaching beyond your comfort zone." She is proud of this reaching. Captain Awesome is proud too. If by "proud" you mean "naked." He announces that he spent a semester abroad in Buenos Aires and totally knows how to tango. He passes this knowledge on to Chuck (after kindly putting on a robe). The editing in this show is killing me! This tango scene keeps flashing between vaguely uncomfortable images of Chuck and Captain Awesome dancing cheek to cheek and scenes of Casey and Sarah getting ready for their big night. Casey dons a bulletproof vest and takes time out to trim his bonsai tree. Sarah makes sure to pack her lipstick shiv. I bet she got that free with a $30 Clinique purchase.
The Nerd Herd is almost done repairing all the computers and saving Chuck's promotion for him. Or actually, they are repairing hard drives blindfolded and timing it! That's not going to get Chuck his job! The Angry Man and his angry acolytes arrive to mock the Nerd Herd and drop off a bunch more broken computers that they have been hoarding just to ruin Chuck's life. It's like the evil girl at my office who hides all the purple Post-It notes. I'm onto you, Sheila! The Angry Man notices that Chuck isn't there. Morgan helpfully announces that he is on a date with the hot wiener girl. Angry Man snarks that this does not show great leadership. Sure it does! All good managers get their team to do all the work while they go out drinking. That's why you become a manager. Duh.
Despite Nerd Girl's heroic attempts at saving him, Morgan accidentally locks himself in the storage cage. The only people who have keys to the cage are Harry Tang and Chuck. Morgan moans that old computers freak him out. Well, bearded, gnome-like little men with freakishly large hands and overly witty repartee freak me out, so I'm right there with you.
Back at the auction, La Ciudad points a gun at Sarah's back and forces her out of the room. Old Eagle-Eyed Casey notices, jumps over the bar, and tells Chuck to stay. Like a dog? Yes, Chuck, now is a good time to whine. Sarah is led out by two men, and Casey follows. Predictably, Chuck does not stay. Instead, he gets up and looks around the art auction. When he gets in front of the painting of the water lilies, he wigs out and flashes over what happened. An attractive Woman Of Mystery (you can tell by her accent and her eyeliner!) approaches him and gushes over the painting. She asks Chuck what he thinks and he says that the painting obviously has "Bob Ross-ian influence." Okay, who are these writers? Do they live in my brain? They are totally stealing my material! The WOM stares at him and he explains, "Bob Ross? Paints on PBS? Afro? You have no idea what I'm talking about." She stares at him and says, "So you don't like the painting?" Chuck says that he is more interested in the frame. The WOM stares at him as his phone rings. It's Morgan, and he turns it off. The WOM grills him about the frame, but Chuck says it doesn't matter. Handily, a tango comes on. She says she loves a tango, and Chuck says, "Let's give it a shot."
After the first few steps, it is clear that Captain Awesome taught Chuck the girl's part of the dance. He asks the WOM to lead, and she happily agrees. Meanwhile, the editor is getting wacky again, and we spend the few minutes cutting back and forth between the drama of the girl-lead tango and the action unfolding on the roof. The armed men are holding Sarah at gunpoint, demanding answers. Casey busts down the door, and he and Sarah take out the people holding her. They stand at détente with guns drawn. Sarah demands to know who they are, and they yell that they are international agents. MI-6. She demands to know what they are doing there. They explain that they are pursing an arms dealer, and there is a painting at the auction with plutonium in the frame. They removed the plutonium but kept the auction going in the hopes of luring -- you guessed it -- La Ciudad. Chuck is dirty-dancing (I guess that makes him Jennifer Grey?) when he notices a scar on his partner's neck. He flashes on scenes of torture and a page of a dossier and realizes that the WOM is La Ciudad. D'oh!
Morgan is still locked in the cage and is on the phone frantically trying to track down Chuck at the art auction. He convinces some front-desk woman to peruse the auction looking for Chuck. He describes Chuck as non-traditionally attractive and wearing a tuxedo, and the woman heads straight for Chuck and asks if he is Chuck Bartowski. But since he has figured out his life is in danger, Chuck is determined to stick with his cover story and denies being Chuck. Morgan hears him and screams, "Chuck!" over and over, but Chuck refuses to take the phone. So totally not smooth.
The additional computer repairs, and the fact that Morgan locked himself in with the computers, have put the Nerd Herd off their mission. They wander off and leave Morgan alone in the dark, locked in the cage, with no food or water. Nature is so cruel -- always thinning the Herd by leaving the weird bearded ones to die alone in the wilderness of the big-box store.
Sarah and Casey walk back into the ballroom and realize that Chuck is gone. Chuck has been tied to a chair by the WOM, who has two goons and a really big knife. She demands to know who he is. He feebly tries to keep up his cover story, but she breaks him down by throwing a knife in the general vicinity of his man parts. He breaks and screams: "Chuck Bartowski!" The WOM starts going through her options for making him talk: tooth-pulling, toe-chopping, chucking him off the balcony. Chuck claims that he snuck into the party on a fake name to impress a girl. The goons pick up the chair with him in it and make for the window. He yammers and yammers and finally yells, "It's a scam!" That stops the goons. The WOM asks for an explanation, and Chuck says he thinks the picture of the water lilies is a fake or something, because he saw a picture of it in the paper and it had a different frame. The WOM is still suspicious, and she demands to know how to fix a computer. He launches into PC repair talk so boring that the WOM instantly believes that he really is just a computer repair guy who snuck into the auction. Unfortunately, now that he has seen her, he has to die.
Fortunately, Sarah and Casey have managed to figure out what floor Chuck is being held on and have taken out the guard. They crash through the door with guns blazing. La Ciudad makes an exit -- through the window of Doucheball's room while he is panicking on the phone telling "Shelly" they know everything. They even know about the Cayman! As La Ciudad crashes through the window, Doucheball drops to the ground and surrenders. Casey and Sarah finish shooting everyone in the room, knocking one guy over the balcony and further scaring Doucheball. Sarah runs to Chuck, who is still tied to the chair, and asks if he is okay. He points out that he is tied to a chair, and in just a few more minutes, he would have been dead. He demands to know where they were, but Casey ignores him and points out that he is still alive and should consider himself lucky. Just then, a giant anvil falls on his head and kills him. Bummer! La Ciudad marches down the hallway with Chuck's Buy More ID card in her hand. She is definitely going to kill him. Kill him! And I don't think she means with kindness.
Chuck makes his way home and walks in to find Elie asleep on the couch. He covers her with a blanket, and she wakes up and wants to talk about Chuck's relationship. God, if that is what sisters are like, I am so glad all I have are brothers. Chuck says that Sarah is very beautiful and very agile. Elie is not sure how that applies. Heh. Chuck goes on to say that Sarah is exhausting. Ooh, harsh! He is not sure he has the energy for it. Captain Awesome comes in and asks if Chuck tangoed and if he used the famous dip. Chuck explains that he was on the receiving end of that dip, because the chucklehead taught him the girl's part of the dance. Elie is still whining that Chuck won't talk to her. Chuck is far more patient than I would be. Ugh, if she were my sister, I would totally flick her in the head and tell her to leave me alone, and then I'd go write nasty things about her in my blog. She sighs and says that if Chuck won't talk to her, he should talk to his idiot friend, who has called about forty-five times because he locked himself in the storage locker.
Chuck pages himself to the storage cage in order to send the goons on the wrong track. Goon Two asks Casey for directions, and Casey leads him all over the store. Goon Two is not interested in these little games. He pulls a gun out of his pants and trains it on Casey. Casey plays dumb and claims to be just a lowly stock boy. He doesn't keep the cover up for long, though, and he knocks the gun out of the guy's hand, twists his arm behind his back, and ducks just in time to make the guy punch a refrigerator. Hee! I'm totally using that one in my fight. So long as my fight is in an appliance store! Casey then slams the stunned goon into another refrigerator and knocks him out. Cut to Sarah sneaking up onto the roof and finding La Ciudad with a sniper rifle. Sarah knocks the gun out of her hand, and they fight. Girl-style.
Cut back to Chuck, who is hiding underneath a table in the storage room. As Goon One enters the room, he looks around and then heads into the cage. Chuck sneaks up and locks him in the room. As he is dancing a victory dance and taunting the Goon, Goon One reaches out and opens the door. Chuck swears that lock was broken just that morning, but the Goon doesn't really care and pulls out his gun. Just then, a microwave makes direct contact with his head, knocking poor Goon One totally unconscious. Casey laughs, "Now that's what I call moving some merchandise!" Ha! Cut back to the hot girl-on-girl action on the roof. Looks like the ladies went to the same training school, because they keep matching moves. Sarah almost gets impaled on an old-school television antenna. Which is another good reason to move to satellite. She breaks free and, using her handcuffs as brass knuckles, she takes out La Ciudad. She cuffs her to something and tells her to "hang there." That may have been a joke, but I don't get it.
Morgan is calling Chuck's name over and over again on the store intercom. Chuck walks up to Morgan and says, "What?" Morgan just was playing. He loves the intercom and suggests that they get one for his apartment. I'm not sure what the point of that scene was. Maybe it was supposed to be part of a longer scene, but the editor was too busy cutting back and forth and back to realize? After work, Chuck heads home and finally has that "talk" with his sister. He says that he isn't talking to her because he doesn't want to lie to her. It was the lesser of two evils. He just doesn't want to create false hope over a doomed relationship. Elie sort of buys it, but still looks sad, so Chuck says she can ask whatever she wants. She stalls, and he says she'd better hurry up, because the offer will not last. Oh big-box store humor! Me likey! Elie uses her big opportunity to ask, "Do you like her?" Chuck replies, "Um, duh. Yeah." Elie shrieks and Chuck chastises her: "No unnecessary excitement." Elie apologizes for being a pest and says she loves Chuck and just wants other people to love him too, or some such not-at-all sister-like comment. Chuck asks how she would feel about a brother-sister hug situation right now. She's open to it.
The doorbell rings. Morgan and Sarah are both there. Morgan claims that he thought they had plans tonight, but now Sarah's there, so he's confused. Chuck doesn't know why Morgan thought they had plans, and Morgan explains that when Chuck said, "See you later!" he took him at his word. Chuck rolls his eyes and lets him in. Sarah and Chuck kiss on the cheek. She's battered and bruised, but brushes it off as an occupational hazard. Chuck is feeling whiney and complains that even though he helped take down an international arms dealer, what's the good of being a hero if no one knows about it? Sarah opts not to smack him in the head and instead says, "You know about it, and so do I." They are standing very close. Close enough for Chuck to opine that if they were really dating, this is the part where they would have to kiss. They both agree that they could suffer through a kiss if they, you know, had to. Just as they are about to kiss, Sarah bails. Chuck looks confused and a little hurt. Morgan walks up, staring off to the side. "That is one creepy dude," says Morgan. Chuck looks more confused, and then he finally sees that Casey is staring at them through the blinds. Chuck agrees that Casey is creepy. He looks relieved.