By Carla Patton
Everybody's doing the nasty in this episode of The Carrie Diaries, or at least planning to. When Sebastian tells Carrie he loves her, Carrie falters and tells him she wants to have sex with him. She keeps waiting for the perfect time to tell him she loves him, but it never seems to happen. She hopes that the Madonna Virgin Tour launch party will lead to the perfect night with declarations of love followed by perfect first time sex.
Meanwhile, Mouse avoids West's ongoing flirtation, which results in them having sex in a classroom. She's worried he is playing mind games with her, when he really just wants to date her. She eventually agrees to go on a date, once she has a letter of recommendation in place and after he threatens her with sabotaging her grades even further.
Tom is still meeting up with Deb, the annoying woman from his meditation class. She invites him over one night for sex, and after he freaks out about that, he is a total dick to her about having sex when her kid is in the house. She excuses him for the night, but eventually forgives him and declares them dating. Tom never admits that he was just angry because he was embarrassed that a strange child saw his penis.
Dorrit is entertaining the idea of having sex with Miller, the cute, interesting boy from the record store. He's a hipster before there were hipsters. Miller loans her books, and Dorrit tries on a softer appearance for him. She decides she wants to have sex with him and they probably do it? It's left open-ended because the only sex life we really care about is Carrie's.
After going to great lengths to get Sebastian into the VIP area of the party with her, Carrie has to excuse herself to tend briefly to something work-related. Because that's why they are there, drinking on Interview's dollar—for Carrie's job. In Sebastian's ideal world, Carrie doesn't care at all about having a career, so her continually flitting away to disprove that upsets him. Sebastian proceeds to get drunker and sulkier.
Leaving the party, Sebastian and Carrie have a very realistic fight. He says it's all about her, all the time, and Carrie resents him for being passive aggressive and her having to do extra work to draw his feelings out. Sebastian plays his trump card, bringing up that Carrie didn't say "I love you" back. He tells Carrie she analyzes things too much, and Carrie says that's who she is and if he doesn't like it they should break up. Sebastian says, "if that's what you want," which is the kiss of death.
Carrie lies in various beds for the rest of the episode, sad and blaming herself for everything. If Donna LaDonna were friends with Carrie, she would be a great ally in times like these.