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It's Carrie's birthday — will she learn the truth at seventeen? The truth being that her birthday is not, in fact, a national holiday or even a day of rest? Carrie's birthday, like everything else on The Carrie Diaries falls on a Friday night. Of course, Interview Magazine is having a fabulous party on Friday night and Larissa needs Carrie to work the door. Carrie pushes her own wants aside, for the first time of many in this episode, and cancels her birthday plans.
Tom asks Dorrit to get Carrie a record for her birthday, but while she has successfully stolen a hamster from a pet store, Dorrit is unable to steal a tape from a record store without getting caught. The record store employee who catches her is cute, and they share edgy/cool musical taste. He locks her in the back room to teach her a lesson and Dorrit forgets to get Carrie's record.
Of Mouse and Maggie: Mouse is meeting with a Harvard graduate to talk about planning for college because she loves planning. Maggie is convinced Walt wants to get back together. Walt does not want to get back together, because he is exploring the very real possibility of his homosexuality. Stacy, Mouse's friend from Harvard, is too interested in West, her new nemesis, to do a sister a solid.
Sebastian has mommy issues so he has to cancel on going to Carrie's work party with her. Carrie brings Walt, and is promptly asked to mingle and network because Larissa forgot she asked her to work the party at all. Walt reconnects with Bennett, who gave him his first sexually confusing kiss, and Carrie meets Tripp Ramsey, a publisher famous for poaching young authors. It seems like Carrie is about to get a book deal (The Carrie Diaries: A show based on a book about a girl getting a book deal for a book about a girl getting a book deal. And sex.) when Sebastian crashes into the party drunk. The publisher is scared off, and Sebastian asks to leave the party. Everyone (no one) is glad Sebastian showed up.
Carrie obliges, and pretends not to care about some stupid writing career because she's just a girl and girls can't be writers, and takes Sebastian home. She agrees to stay the night, then Sebastian's mom shows up with more issues than Sebastian. It must run in the family: bursting into scenes and asking that everyone pay attention to your problems. Carrie's night/birthday is a bust.
The night is not a bust for Mouse, who discovers that her love of organizing things can lead to a position as the basketball team manager, or Dorrit, who goes back for the record and gets to kiss the cute boy at the record store. Everyone else's wishes on Carrie's birthday came true, including mine, which was not to see the character Harlan at all in this episode.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!At the diner, Mouse, Maggie and Carrie catch us up on what we missed when we fell asleep with our eyes open during last week's Carrie Diaries. Is it consoling or horrifying to know that your brain saw the images of the world's most expected "Rubik's Cube-off" training montage and recorded them while you were unconscious? Maggie cheated on Walt and is still not forgiven. Mouse is no longer number one in the class, that black guy Wes is. Carrie's life is basically perfect because she's with Sebastian, Dorrit hasn't run away this week, she works at Interview magazine and she still weighs under 100 pounds so she can't donate blood. To top it all off, it's Carrie's birthday.
Donna LaDonna is upset and this is just the icing on the birthday cake. She's not mad about Sebastian dating Carrie or Walt -- she's upset about a bag. The purse she wants is all sold out. Donna deploys The Jens to get her the purse; figuring out how is their problem. Another riveting plotline is born.
Mouse is meeting Stacy, a graduate of Harvard and fellow Asian. Mouse shows her around, but Stacy is soon distracted by a trophy in the trophy case of none other than Thomas West, whose name I thought was Wes because in the last episode they kept calling him Wes. Apparently they were saying "West" and his actual name is Thomas, but no one goes by the real or first names at this school.
Then Stacy starts flirting with West, because female Harvard grads have been so busy hitting the books they forgot to notice the important thing: boys! West is charming, Mouse feels inadequate because second place is the first loser, as Abby Lee Miller would say. West invites Stacy (if that is her real name) to Spirit Night. Mouse is now obligated to tag along.
Outside of school, Maggie catches up with Walt, who is willing to talk to her. Walt speaks candidly with her and admits that Maggie probably cheated on him, because she wasn't feeling loved. Wheeee, easiest breakup ever.
Tom and Dorrit discuss Carrie's birthday. Dorrit hates Carrie again, and points out all the ways Carrie has failed as a daughter when Tom mentions he wants to give Carrie a credit card. Yeah, she could open a tab at Limelight. Tom gives Dorrit money to buy Carrie a record and Dorrit sulks about it.
At Interview, everyone is fawning over that same bag Donna wants: a red leather Coach duffel. Larissa grabs it to make sure we see it's the bag Donna wanted, and then we move on with job stuff. Interview is hosting a hot party, the "literary event of the year" and it's on the same night as Carrie's birthday. Larissa asks Carrie to work the door, Carrie says she has plans, and then backs away from it because work is more important than birthdays. Now is as good a time as any to learn that you will still be expected to work on your birthday in the real world.
Sebastian agrees to hang out with Carrie at the coat check on her birthday because being with her is all he cares about. Being with Sebastian is all Carrie cares about and now that Carrie is finally happy, her friends are free to care about other things that don't concern Carrie. Donna sidles up to Carrie and asks her if Interview got the new Coach bag. She may be a bitch, but Donna is in the know. She asks Carrie to get it for her, since she owes her for giving away Sebastian. Call me a Jens, but I like Donna the best.
Yet again, everything is happening on Friday night. Carrie's party was happening, but is now cancelled for the party. Mouse has to go to Spirit Night. Maggie is under the impression that Walt wants to get back together. Maggie so stupid. Then Walt rolls in and confirms that he's so relieved they are just friends again.
Dorrit goes shopping at a record store for Carrie's birthday, selects a Phil Collins album, then swipes an 8-track and puts it in her pocket. The guy at the record store flirts with her a little, then tells Dorrit they might have something she likes even better in the back of the store. In a moment I found genuinely entertaining, he pushes Dorrit into a back room and locks the door, telling her he will call the police. He lets her out later, saying Dorrit should thank him for teaching her a lesson. He also notes that if she had stolen anything besides the Dead Kennedys he would have called the police, but she gets a good taste in music discount. Dorrit is 14 and offended, so she leaves.
At Carrie's house, Sebastian stops by to let her know that his mom (who is distant and always off with the tennis instructor or whatever despicable rich white people do) called. She wants to hang out on Friday night. Carrie says he should, but feels sulky that no one is treating her birthday like it's special.
On her birthday that she can't believe they forgot (how Sixteen Candles), Carrie brings Walt into Interview with her to work the coat check. Walt has stars in his eyes and doesn't care about money. Carrie ogles the writers on the list and Larissa tells Carrie to looks out for a certain publisher to further her writing career. Larissa is a very encouraging superior. Then Larissa forgets she told Carrie to work the door, breezes over the fact that it's Carrie's birthday and tells Carrie her only job is to work the room. Whatever.
At Spirit Night, Mouse gets excited to see Stacy, but Stacy is looking a little too urgently for West. Stacy tells Mouse that she's just another smart Asian girl, which is not a hook. And Mouse needs a hook. West has many.
At home, Tom asks Dorrit if she got Carrie a present. She says she did and doesn't need help wrapping it, then rifles through some old records from the house to try to cover. Tom sees her doing this and, in his Tom-ish way and tells Dorrit to stop lying. Dorrit heads back to the record store to get Phil Collins.
At the literary event of the year 1985, Larissa swings through and asks Carrie if she has a book deal. It must have been just that easy back then. Also without a book deal so far, Walt is nervous about seeing that guy Bennett, who kissed him at the Halloween party. Larissa forces Carrie into Tripp Ramsey, who "specializes in wunderkinds." He is possibly a creep.
Walt finds Bennett, and apologizes for calling him a fag. Bennett apologizes for kissing a high school kid from Connecticut who isn't comfortable with his sexuality yet. Then Bennett tells Walt how he realized he was gay, and Walt listens interestedly and without disdain. Donna has helped Walt come a long way.
On the other side of the room, Carrie is telling a half-moon of kiss-asses and Tripp Ramsey about her book she was just informed she's writing. She calls it a coming-of-age story about a virgin whose friends are teaching her all about sex. Tripp says it's good to make it about sex because sex sells. Definitely a creep.
Tripp seems interested in publishing Carrie's book or maybe in using his power to seduce a high school girl, and invites Carrie over to a corner for a drink. Sebastian shows up at the party and swoops in for a hug. Tripp remarks that Carrie seems busy and leaves. A pox upon these high school boys, always outdoing him in the girlfriend department. Sebastian asks if he's interrupting and Carrie lies to him because she's a 17-year old girl and isn't career motivated yet.
Ughhhhh Sebastian is the worst. He shows up, downs a glass of whiskey, then asks Carrie to leave her party. "I want to be somewhere where it's just the two of us," Sebastian complains. Then why did you come to the party, ya jag? Boyfriends are the worst.
Back at the record store, the boy who works there tells Dorrit she has suspicious and pretty eyes, then teaches her how to shoplift and gives her the tapes she wanted to steal. Not sure if Dorrit got that Phil Collins record she paid for or not.
At Spirit Night, Mouse is feeling neglected by Stacy, who can't help but prioritize boys. Just before Mouse leaves, Stacy grabs her and asks her to round up all of West's teammates for a yearbook photo. Mouse pulls Stacy aside and asks her to stop shaming herself.
Maggie runs into Donna and tries to lord over her that Walt "might want to get back together," but Donna confidently affirms that she is not Walt's type. I'm on Team Donna in this instance. She tells Maggie to move on while she can.
At the Interview party, Sebastian is drunk. He is winning the Worst Birthday Boyfriend award. They see Walt and Bennett talking and crash through that. Bennett suggests Carrie go talk to Tripp about the book to seal the deal and Sebastian offers to go with her, after threatening to beat him up. All of this after Carrie downplayed her ambition to be an author for her horrible, embarrassing, drunk boyfriend's favor. What a role model. Carrie offers to get Sebastian home and misses out on her potential book deal.
Back at Spirit Night, Maggie excitedly tells Mouse that Donna basically told her she and Walt broke up because he wasn't over Maggie. I wish all the girls except Mouse would stop acting so dumb in this episode. Mouse organizes the basketball team yearbook photo, and they suggest that she be their team manager. Mouse loves this idea because she loves taking notes and organizing things, also the power of ordering jocks around doesn't hurt.
Carrie tries to drive Sebastian home in his stick shift, then he tells her he's drunk because of his mom and he's sorry he ruined the party. His mom cancelled on him, so Sebastian had to ruin something for someone else. They go inside to talk about Sebastian's emotional baggage. Carrie agrees to spend the night, but then Sebastian's mom shows up.
At the record store, in a total John Hughes moment, the record store employee guy kisses Dorrit. I like most of Dorrit's storylines because they aren't beholden to being a Sex and the City precursor. They can just be '80s.
At the party, Walt gets Bennett's card and Bennett either sees himself as a gay mentor or doesn't mind having a high school student as a love interest.
Carrie leaves Sebastian to hang out with his mom, bummed to not have a sexual experience on her birthday. She is also bummed that neither of her opportunities worked out that night. She should be -- but is not -- bummed that she gave up her own interests and played dumb for a guy.
Tom gives Carrie her credit card, and Dorrit presents her with a mix tape of their mom's favorite songs. Carrie invites everyone, including Dorrit, out to breakfast courtesy of dad's credit card and boyfriend's car. Then she meets up with Donna at the diner, with the Coach bag. Donna looks fabulous, by the way. Carrie gives her the Coach bag for being a good friend to Walt. They both know Walt is gay, so Donna gets an expensive bag for it. Aw heck, she deserves it.
Maggie corners Walt before they sit down for breakfast and, exasperatingly, tells him she's ready to get back together. No, girl. Walt tells her it's not going to happen, not because it's too soon, but because they are just friends. It's definitely too soon to tell her his secrets. So, they get back to what they do best: tending to Carrie.
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