I'm really going to miss how dramatic James made everything. Not that the show doesn't do well enough on its own, structurally. Just past what we were told was the halfway point, the teams woke up to a very cold battlefield. Jacob was worried about bedhead, but now that everyone looks like crap and no one cares, Jacob just doesn't want to lose. Then we got to learn more about the gold team, finally. They are brothers from Oregon, and they're not that close to each other or any of the teams. The white team, Matt and Kaliesha, were sick of being chased and prayed they would be selected as the hunt team.
Being the hunt team isn't getting any harder. Luke announced that this time, when the hunt team was released, everyone's vest alarms would sound. Not to be outdone by himself, Luke announced a further twist: a mystery box. Yes, sold. The mystery box's location will turn off the alarms, but shows up on everyone's tracking device including the hunt team. The mystery box also contains a "game-changing advantage" to be revealed later. Eeeeee, I'm loving it.
Much to White's disappointment, the gold team was selected to be the hunt team. Maybe this could be the thing to bring these brothers closer. The teams sprinted off into the terrain, particularly the red team, trying to get out of earshot. The gold team has established themselves as major threats, somehow.
Possibly to their dramatically ironic detriment, the white team says what they would do with the money if they won. The want to open up an MMA boxing gym … for kids. You know, everything for the children. Whoever wins this thing, The Children will benefit.
Feeling cocky, the gold team admitted to Luke that in their minds it's pretty much them against Red. I'd love to see the pink or teal team catch them. Gold was released and the prey teams' vests sounded. It was possibly also a form of mental torture. Soon after, the mystery box location was revealed and everyone pounded after it.
"Hopefully we're gonna get out there pretty quick and get there before anyone can find that damn box," one of the Brothers Gold said. This is totally like in The Hunger Games when they announced that all the medicines and stuff were at the cornucopia to bring all the remaining teams together. I was stressed out.
The hunt had only been going on for fifteen minutes when the teal team (yes!) found the box and deactivated the alarms. So much for that advantage to the hunt team. Red almost got there, but was happy for Teal. Friendship is so great, everyone should try it. Matt and Kaliesha, who are barely friends with each other under duress, decided to sneak away from the mystery box once they realized someone had already found it.
Heading away from the box, Rob and Jacob bickered like a couple of gay neighbors. Rob wanted to go South, Jacob insisted they were going South. Jacob was probably hoping there would be cake in that box and was ready to cut someone discovering there was no cake to be had. Rob had a bad feeling, and continued to whine about it just loud enough for the gold teams to hear.
The red team even managed to bicker about whether or not the people they saw were the hunt team. They were, it turns out, and the gold team sprinted after Red to make a quick capture. The gold team celebrated a bit like cavemen, excited to take their prey back to the cave and tear into some meat in the hunter's den. I hope the mystery box is just a big pie in the face for them. Or some twist like the hunt team has to smell strongly of animal urine for the duration of the hunt.
The teal team was sad to find Red in jail, and with the gold team carrying on so endlessly about jail doors closing and sealing Red's fate and "doom," etc. I can't help but think the mystery box will help the red team just enough to spoil Gold's appetites and over-confidence.
Luke Tipple made an announcement over the intercom that the mystery box's "secret power" would be revealed. The teal team won the power to overthrow the current hunt team. Everyone reacted with an appropriate amount of thrill and the gold team had to quit waving their dicks around the village. The teal team was able to select a new hunt team, and the gold team was not only no longer the hunt team but they had to leave the hunter's den immediately without food. The teal team got to eat their food and Nick looked upset enough to cry.
They froze in front of the interview camera, stone-faced. "We're upset," Nick said through gritted teeth. Ahhhhhh, so good. The twins yelled out what their food was to Red, which only pissed the gold team off even more as they sulked under their tarp. The British accent wore out its cuteness to them, apparently
Teal approached Red about possibly letting them out of jail to become the new hunt team. Rob and Jacob agree not to catch Jade and Nikita, to keep the alliance strong and as a thank you. Rob was almost a little crazy in the eyes when he salivated over the thought of catching Gold.
The morning, the teams gathered to hear Teal's unsurprising announcement that the red team would be hunting. Because the red team was in jail, they would be hunting for whoever they wanted to stand to at elimination. If they didn't catch anyone, they would be eliminated. It's super juicy.
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Luke also announced that there would be margaritas at the supply station, along with a phone to drunk-dial your loved ones. The gold team didn't even react. A quiet anger is often more frightening than a fit. Luke released the red team into the hunt, and they ran in hopes of catching the gold team. This time, and every time, it's personal. These two love revenge and I'm not just talking about the show on ABC.
The black team, of course, went for the supply station. White and Gold stayed away from it because family/friends/loved ones can wait. It's about having priorities, and clearly making lots of friends has gotten them this far …
The hunt team mistakenly thought Gold or White would go for the supply station, but everyone except those teams went. The pink team hadn't indulged in supply station goodies since the very first supply station, and they couldn't believe how good nachos tasted. Antoine got to call his mom, who is sick. Then the red team arrived and Luke warned them against going into the supply station. I'm not sure why the hunt teams keep revealing themselves outside the supply station. Do they have to?
The red team stood at the perimeter to intimidate the green team, who continued to enjoy their nachos. The black team trotted in to the supply station, and the red team didn't even try to catch them because they couldn't win that vote. What a unique position.
"Oh my god, me and Sabrina are like, in the FAWREST," Noelle told her dad on the phone. She assured him that they went to the supply station to use the phone and drink tequila just like they used to do back home. Makin' Daddy proud.
The green team charged out of the supply station, after a weird margarita toast to the red team, and Red followed them as quickly as possible. The green team, full of margaritas and nachos, outran the red team, who was already exhausted from the day before and from plotting so many revenges. They escaped over a bluff or something and 45 minutes remained in the hunt.
Shit, I am so nervous I could crap myself. The green team took a breather as the gold team approached, having trudged uphill. The only thing dragging them down more than the altitude is their attitudes am I right? They've been complaining a lot, is what I was getting at. They really wanted that food
The red team returned to the supply station just as Luke announced it was no longer a safe zone. Jacob wanted to make a phone call and swore to Rob it would only take one minute. One minute of the 25 remaining to get someone. Jacob is usually very determined and sensible, but the man loves a supply station. Jacob called his boyfriend and it was so sweet. I wish that Jacob's boyfriend was my boyfriend. I don't mean it in a weird way, just that he seemed really supportive.
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After over three hours of the hunt, the gold team started dawdling. The only thing keeping them motivated was insulting the red team. But The Secret worked against them, leading them directly toward the obsession of their negative thoughts. Still pissed, the gold team ran away from the red team uphill. With only five minutes left, the gold team got hung up on the altitude and their grudge. It was the slowest Capture chase ever, with Rob and Jacob plodding behind Gold until Chris fell down and Rob placed the talon on his back before collapsing.
"We did it!" Rob cried, his oxygen levels getting dangerously low.
Back at the village, the teams celebrated and the gold team got quieter and quieter. Nick didn't regret not playing the social game because it's not who he is and he doesn't lie to people by pretending to like them. Gold tried to convince Pink, as a last ditch effort, that Red was the stronger team.
The teal team started things off, obviously voting for Gold. The white team voted for Red, and so did the green team, having played an equally poor social game. Our Brooklyn girls on the black team voted against Gold and it all came down to the pink team. Jacob tried his most charming smile, which was surprisingly white for having been in the wilderness for so long. Maybe he had some of Eric's toothpaste (Aquadouche Extra Whitening).
The pink team voted for Gold, who claimed to be leaving the game having played it "like a good person would, honorably and straight up with everybody." And just like James and Rebecca, the siblings claimed to have grown closer, which is almost as good as $250,000 but actually not even close.
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