Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Children's Crusade: A Duty-Dance With Death, 1969
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 15 | Aired on 01.04.2011
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Sam and Joe get another big Mafia promotion, even though that just happened two episodes ago, and it's totally ironic because Sam's in bed with Daniel over the whole Cylons-to-Tauron thing and Joe is... Well, Joe. By the end of the episode, Joe is in on it too, because of flashbacks and a mysterious tattoo. Daniel's just happy to use his Cylons for any nefarious purpose that doesn't include him floating in the river.
We spend about a third of the episode flash-back on Tauron during the Adamas' orphanation, and it's even more melodramatic than you may have thought: Suicide pills and moms getting shot and everybody acting nuts and giving each other tattoos, because that's 90% of everything they do on Tauron. Downside: Mama and Pops Adama, while sexy, are also kamikaze thugs from a long line of suicide bombers, who give their kids suicide pills and blow up grain silos. Upshot: Li'l Joe killed three Heracleides Stormtroopers after they killed Mama Adama, and then shot their dad in the head because... Not really sure. Because Taurons suck, basically, and terrorists suck totally, so being an Adama is to suck: Trebly.
This is neat: Zoë and Tamara, having joined forces, become the new Hot Topic t-shirt subjects (speaking literally here) as they go around shooting gross NCC people and cleaning up the whole imaginary city. The Avenging Angels (fnur) are something of a goad to the unsure masculines* of the Twelve Colonies, who love to fight the girls who will always kill you and never die -- and then act all shocked when they don't die and, in fact, kill you. These include Willow hubbies Nestor and Olaf, who don't seem to find it noteworthy that an immortal version of Zoë Graystone is roaming New Cap while in the real world, they are... Looking for an immortal version of Zoë Graystone. Just not puttin' that one together. OTOH, when you look like Scott Porter higher critical thinking skills are not really required: Locate your shirt, take it off. Done.
Porky Pig manages to get Jordan fired from the GDD over Mar-Beth's stabbing. Really it's Jordan's fault for calling out his corrupt superior over and over for being corrupt, but somehow it still manages to take him by surprise. This is only dicey because Amanda's going all spycam on the Willows, and needs a handler. I mean, in life she really needs to be supervised, but especially when undercover in a polygamous terrorist compound. Other stresses in the Willow household include the demo reel for Heaven, which is not up to Clarice's standards because it doesn't look quite like a Mormon recruiter video yet. (But it will eventually.)
In the end, Amanda meets up with Daniel at their old house and he admits that he's seen Zoë -- now in Avenging Angel form -- and they decide to go find her together. That should work out like gangbusters. Especially now that the girls, having realized they're taking the long way around, have combined their God Mode powers and turned gritty nasty complicated human NCC into a human-free forest (Lee Adama would be so proud!), the better for use as their stronghold from which to bring down/illuminate/destroy the rest of Daddy's Matrix.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!The Colony was alive, like coral. She built herself bones and buttresses, sang to them softly in their sleep. If they hadn't been so in love with their new bodies they would have noticed what a wonder they'd created. They'd left their bodies broken and behind, and were still getting used to themselves. Ellen and Saul tried to keep everybody on a daily schedule, tried to keep them mostly human, but the days turned into years into millennia. Ellen sometimes woke up sweating, dreaming of her father and of the sons and daughters they never got to have. She spoke of this to no one but it burned in her; she knew inside herself that she was a mother, that never had the chance. But she tried.
Tory and Galen fought, sometimes, but everyone agreed tacitly to ignore it. Nothing could really come between them, everybody thought and sometimes said quietly to each other, once they'd retreated to their corners. Maybe they were only following the Tighs' lead, after all. Their love always burned the hottest. And once their singed fingers had healed, it never took too long, they'd all go find Sam to put things right again. Soft and secret Samuel, with a dream in his eyes and a fierceness of heart that kept them all going.
Sam's guitar was left in pieces on the shore, back home, but sometimes they'd dream of beaches together, and he'd sing to them. The guitar he'd find on that dream shore was always perfectly in tune, and his voice was equally mournful and full of hope. As they all were. He'd loved a girl, back on Earth, but she was gone now and anyway, he knew his one true love still waited for them, somewhere beyond the stars. It hadn't happened yet, but in time he would find her. Painting the sky, rushing headlong into light. And after her, he'd become the soul of something greater still. He loved the Colony more than any of them. Perhaps she knew that too. Sometimes he swore he could hear her singing along.
They rushed forward, to save their brothers, on a wave of light and hope, bearing immortality in their hands, and an urgent warning, and the greatest mercy.
Joe will once again be Made, this time as a key advisor to the Guatrau. He can't celebrate, because he hates the Ha'la'tha and he hates selling arms to Gemenon over Tauron and he hates knowing his brother is very soon going to be killing Daniel Graystone. He hates that feeling of complicity that, for most of them, is reason enough to keep going. To stay firm on the soil of Tauron no matter where they stand. Sam doesn't mind killing Daniel, we all knew that would happen and besides, he misses Shannon even if Joe doesn't, but anyway: He knew what was coming and so did Joe, and there's nothing any of them can do about it. He begs Joe to stay with him here, today, to celebrate the promotion Sam's procured for him based on this new level of service, but Joe is a whiner.