By Jacob
Sam and Joe get another big Mafia promotion, even though that just happened two episodes ago, and it's totally ironic because Sam's in bed with Daniel over the whole Cylons-to-Tauron thing and Joe is... Well, Joe. By the end of the episode, Joe is in on it too, because of flashbacks and a mysterious tattoo. Daniel's just happy to use his Cylons for any nefarious purpose that doesn't include him floating in the river.
We spend about a third of the episode flash-back on Tauron during the Adamas' orphanation, and it's even more melodramatic than you may have thought: Suicide pills and moms getting shot and everybody acting nuts and giving each other tattoos, because that's 90% of everything they do on Tauron. Downside: Mama and Pops Adama, while sexy, are also kamikaze thugs from a long line of suicide bombers, who give their kids suicide pills and blow up grain silos. Upshot: Li'l Joe killed three Heracleides Stormtroopers after they killed Mama Adama, and then shot their dad in the head because... Not really sure. Because Taurons suck, basically, and terrorists suck totally, so being an Adama is to suck: Trebly.
This is neat: Zoë and Tamara, having joined forces, become the new Hot Topic t-shirt subjects (speaking literally here) as they go around shooting gross NCC people and cleaning up the whole imaginary city. The Avenging Angels (fnur) are something of a goad to the unsure masculines* of the Twelve Colonies, who love to fight the girls who will always kill you and never die -- and then act all shocked when they don't die and, in fact, kill you. These include Willow hubbies Nestor and Olaf, who don't seem to find it noteworthy that an immortal version of Zoë Graystone is roaming New Cap while in the real world, they are... Looking for an immortal version of Zoë Graystone. Just not puttin' that one together. OTOH, when you look like Scott Porter higher critical thinking skills are not really required: Locate your shirt, take it off. Done.
Porky Pig manages to get Jordan fired from the GDD over Mar-Beth's stabbing. Really it's Jordan's fault for calling out his corrupt superior over and over for being corrupt, but somehow it still manages to take him by surprise. This is only dicey because Amanda's going all spycam on the Willows, and needs a handler. I mean, in life she really needs to be supervised, but especially when undercover in a polygamous terrorist compound. Other stresses in the Willow household include the demo reel for Heaven, which is not up to Clarice's standards because it doesn't look quite like a Mormon recruiter video yet. (But it will eventually.)
In the end, Amanda meets up with Daniel at their old house and he admits that he's seen Zoë -- now in Avenging Angel form -- and they decide to go find her together. That should work out like gangbusters. Especially now that the girls, having realized they're taking the long way around, have combined their God Mode powers and turned gritty nasty complicated human NCC into a human-free forest (Lee Adama would be so proud!), the better for use as their stronghold from which to bring down/illuminate/destroy the rest of Daddy's Matrix.
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