Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Bane & The Pox Of The Pain In The Box
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 12 | Aired on 10.19.2010
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Wow. Okay, so while it's a different show now, that show is possibly also very awesome. Lots of shit went down tonight, hang on... Lacy. Um, she spends most of the episode drugged in Clarice's attic, getting abused by Olaf (did we know he was STO?) and Nestor (did we know he was alive?). The latter is particularly scary, with all his weird Good Six/Bad Six head games designed to break her down: Screaming at her, then sweet hugs with all those football muscles, then more crazy. Worth a shot.
Doesn't take long for all the brainwashing techniques you've ever heard of to work their magic, so when Clarice comes calling -- having quit the cabin for good -- Lacy spills about Zoë's download, the robot body, and how both are now exploded. Meaning zero Zoës left. (Very wrong, Lacy! More Zoës than you can shake a ninja sword at!)
...However, there may be a backup Zoë in that damned infinity broach Amanda used to carry so she could wave it around whenever she was screaming at strangers about her terrorist daughter. Clarice moves Amanda into the Willow Compound, where nobody's like thrilled to meet her -- but fits perfectly into Jordan Duram's plans for Amanda -- and sneaks Lacy out, to the STO bootcamps on Gemenon, because enough horrible things simply have not yet happened to Lacy.
(In other news, Clarice is now invoking God every time she opens her mouth -- "Give me that slice of pizza, it is God's will" -- and Daniel's so confused by his Caprican privilege he can't open his mouth without saying racist shit to whatever Tauron's standing closest.)
Also having a good day/bad day, is Daniel G, who attempts one of the most balls-out maneuvers I've ever seen -- trying to talk Vergis into teaming up so they can bring down the entire Ha'la'tha -- but alas, Vergis pulls some typical Tauron honor shit and stabs himself with the ceremonial knife Daniel's holding. So Daniel's got his company back (thanks to a unanimous vote of the board he blackmailed), but also he has now stabbed a guy. And a pretty awesome guy, at that.
While it sucks to think about having to deal with Lacy on the stupid-looking Jesus planet, we are rewarded vastly with a compelling new twist in the Deadwalker storyline, both the most complicated and most strangely moving: Zoë tracks down Tamara and, after much fighting and philosophical callbacks to most of BSG and Buffy, convinces her to be Zoë's, like, John the Matrix Baptist.
Which fits perfectly with the Virgin Mary drag Amanda spends all day crutching around in, especially after the big Athena/Boomer fight scene which basically is both Zoë and Tamara declaring they're real, not copies, but meaning the exact opposite by it. (Two great Zoë moments: Her grin when seven of Bartertown's finest attack, and the hangdog way she remembers how she totally killed Tammy and her mom: "Oh. That.") The young ladies finally agree NCC is totally gnarly, and head off to find better things to do, like be God of the Internet and wear awesome clothes all the time.
What's more interesting than that, though, is the proliferation of not only Zoës but also the mysteries of the various Zoës. I knew there would be more of her, but I didn't know it would be so... Weird, and cool. We needed to see Real Zoë being cool, and for once she obliges, in a vignette all about how she came up with Cylon bodies, before their souls, but didn't bother hassling Daniel about stealing her ideas as a kid because she was more interested in creating life (zoë) before him anyway. Then when she makes Our Zoë, she says outright, "This isn't about you being a narcissistic copy of me, it's about you being awesome." (A concept Our Zoë finally, finally takes to heart this week, after dealing with more of NCC's scumbag scapegoating than all of Gaius's bad days put together.)
So you've got Daniel/Taurons worrying about what makes you human, Tamara/Zoë with a vested interest, Lacy taken apart to where maybe she'll end up the least human of all, and Clarice pretty much opting out altogether for what she thinks are really great reasons... And that's just the Dune talking-talking-talking parts! Add the Matrix and robots, and you're gold.
But the thing that makes this episode totally frakked up and awesome is this other Zoë, a very dong-dong Chip Six-like Zoë that only Zoë can see, who saved Real Zoë from that fire and has been visiting her ever since, and now comes to Our Zoë in the Matrix wearing pink ruffles and saying the most beautiful, inspiring things... And inspired her to create life in the first place. Weirded! But stoked! No wonder Zoë thinks God talks to her! God totally talks to her!
Is it an angel? When they said they were going to draw the lines closer to BSG in 1.5 I didn't really think they meant like that. But this newest, awesomest Zoë is so far definitely following the classic satanic/angelic pattern of our old beloved Chipsters: "Just grab some fire, who's gonna notice? Let's just piss off your dad and take it from there, yeah?" Very fantastic, all around. Five more episodes is not enough episodes. Tell your friends shit just got real.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Quick game of Vet the New Exec first, because you can really tell. Kevin Murphy takes over as showrunner, effectively, with this episode. Here's what we know about him:
First: Creator/showrunner of Valentine, which is one of my favorite shows of the past few years, although talking about that makes me feel like I'm admitting to Legend Of The Seeker or something because of its weird syndication deal, which was with like the Dubai government or something, so it looked like a Mentos commercial, and came on in the middle of like Saturday night. If you don't remember it, it was a bunch of insanely hot, hotly beloved character actors -- Lila from Dexter having that accent and that hair all over the place; dude from North Shore and Life UneXpected foregoing any shirt with buttons; the even hotter Professor Hank Landry, and motherfucking Taylor Townsend in gauzy sun dresses -- running around having Greek God-type problems. There was a procedural element that involved this incredibly annoying chick and her incredibly annoying face, but usually even that part was pretty good. Additionally, Murphy wrote two of the best episodes of that series, the one with the white guy and the Indian chick, and the one with the lesbian wedding planner.
Second: Creator/showrunner of Hellcats, which is a very charming show that, unfortunately, I cannot watch due to a severe Aly Michalka allergy. I believe that if the Japanese haiku writers had known about Ashley Tisdale they would have included her on their list of perfect things -- plums, snow, Ashley Tisdale -- but there isn't an EpiPen developed that would enable me to sit through Aly Michalka walking around with that face all the time. She's like if Ke$ha didn't know.
Third: Writer and co-librettist of Reefer Madness: The Musical, which for those who like that sort of thing, that is the sort of thing they like. The only thing I hate more than the experience of musicals is the marijuana experience, so it stands to reason that either it's my perfect thing, or I hate it squared. No soy interestante in finding out for sure. (Same with the various good-to-medium good kid things he did before anything else.)